Slow and Steady Rush (29 page)
Robbie closed his eyes and let the cool air flow over him. “If you’re really sorry, let us help you and stay out of trouble.”
The wind buffeted the cab and muffled whatever passed between Logan and Whitey.
Logan dropped Robbie at his truck, and he sat behind the wheel knowing there was one more thing he was obligated to handle. Rick lived less than two miles down the road, and light seeped through his curtains.
The door swung open when he was halfway up the porch steps. Rick’s eyes were red-rimmed, and his shirt hung open, revealing a white undershirt. He held a sweating beer.
“You find him?” Rick asked, taking a step back and gesturing Robbie inside. Sheila was nowhere in sight.
“Yep. I could force him to testify against Sheila.”
Rick took three pulls off the bottle, his throat working, and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “I know. And I know I have no right to ask you for a favor.”
“But?”
“I told Sheila’s mama she needed to go to rehab.”
“And?”
“They’re on their way to an in-patient facility in Birmingham. They’ll get her off the booze and pills and help her come to terms with things. I thought I could help her, but …” Rick drained the bottle and turned away to put it on the table, but not before Robbie saw the tears.
Shit. Robbie sighed. “She’ll be better off with professional help. Maybe when she cleans up, you two can start over. I won’t push things with Whitey. He deserves a second chance too.”
Rick stepped forward and offered his hand. “Thanks, Coach. I mean it.”
Robbie hesitated a split second before taking the other man’s hand in a firm shake. He walked to his truck wanting nothing more than to curl up around Darcy and lay his troubles bare. Instead, he drove by Miss Ada’s even though the porch light burned a welcome and let Avery sleep on the bed.
Darcy startled awake, her heart racing. Had her own cry woken her? In her dream, Robbie had turned and walked away even as she screamed his name. She’d watched him drive by close to midnight. He hadn’t even tapped the brakes.
Sleep turned elusive, and she cracked the window. Crisp breaths of night air slowed her heart and pulled her further into wakefulness. The moon was waning, muting the yellows and reds peeking through the green pines like a patchwork quilt.
She pulled on yoga pants and a sweatshirt and padded down the stairs, avoiding the creaky one. After flipping the coffeemaker to brew, she stepped onto the porch and chafed her arms against the chill.
In Atlanta, she slept with a white-noise machine to block out the sounds of cars, airplanes, and neighbors. She always chose night sounds. To get the same effect here all she had to do was open the door.
She poured a cup of coffee and slipped into Ada’s makeshift bedroom to grab the book she’d left on the couch. Her gaze focused on her goal, she tiptoed across the rug. With book in hand, she turned.
The spine of the book cracked on the floor. The coffee cup broke into pieces, the air ripe with hazelnut. Trembling started in her knees and spread through her body. A static roar blocked out any other noise.
The corners of Ada’s mouth tilted into a slight smile. Washed-out blue eyes stared at the ceiling. Darcy reached for Ada’s hand. The cool, waxy skin reeled her backward. She tripped over the book and landed half on the couch. She slid to a crouch on the floor and pulled the afghan over her knees. She dared another look. Ada lay still.
Her mind pinged from memory to memory. Standing on a chair in the kitchen while Ada taught her the secret of fluffy biscuits. Cuddling next to Ada on the couch learning to read from Dr. Seuss books. Ada in old, rolled-up overalls and a floppy straw hat weeding the garden. The way Ada smelled like books and Pond’s cold cream. Ada’s laugh when Darcy had regaled her with made-up stories as a child. They’d run out of time to make new memories.
As she had every night before bed, she’d hugged and kissed Ada, said “I love you.” Thank God for that. Darcy’s eyes were dry. Her head seemed disconnected, floating somewhere near the ceiling, looking down on the crouching woman frozen in a panic.
She crawled to Ada’s bedside, took her cold hand, and pressed a kiss on the back. Maybe it was a dream. She willed Ada to spring up with open arms. Nothing changed.
The room lightened. How could the sun still rise? How could another day begin? She wanted to stay in the dark. The sun signaled life, even as death had come to call in the night.
On feet that didn’t belong to her, she left Ada to retrieve her phone. It was barely dawn, but he answered on the second ring. “Darcy?”
“Robbie.” His name croaked out of her desertlike throat.
“What’s wrong? Where are you?”
“Home. Ada …” Now, finally, tears rushed to her eyes as if someone else finding out made everything real.
“Is she hurt? Do you need an ambulance?” Drawers opened and closed behind his tense words.
“No. She’s …” She couldn’t force the word out.
“I’ll be there in two minutes.”
The grandfather clock seemed to tick off hours. From a distance, a door opened, and he was there. Solid and alive. Worry crinkled his eyes to slits and drew his mouth down. She could taste tears in the corners of her mouth, tickling her nose, but she didn’t wipe them away.
He bypassed her to check on Ada. Avery’s whine filled the silence like a mournful song. Robbie’s head bowed over Ada’s, and his hand closed her eyes. What did her grandmother see now? Do the dead dream?
He pulled her into his warm chest. Avery stood sentinel next to Ada, and the thought of the dog guarding her grandmother’s soul made her smile through the tears.
“Have you called anyone else?”
She shook her head. Keeping one arm around her, he pulled his new phone from his back pocket. His chest vibrated against her cheek as he talked, but she didn’t try to process the rumble into words.
The vibrations stopped. He put his arm around her shoulder and tried to lead her away. Away from Ada. She pushed away from his chest. “I won’t leave her. Not now.”
She fell on her knees next to Avery and buried her face in the thick fur of his ruff. Bristles of hair had grown back over his wounds. The dog rested his muzzle on her shoulder and licked her cheek, his warm, wet tongue a balm for her raw grief.
“I resented having to come back to Falcon to take care of her at first. You were right all along.” Avery’s fur muffled her confession.
“You loved her, and she loved you. That’s all you can ask for in life.”
His platitude planted a seed of anger in her gut. “She was getting better. I was sure we’d have years left together.”
A discreet knock sounded on the front door. Robbie left her. Low voices. A man, but not Logan. She looked up from the comfort of Avery’s warm, living body. A tall man with stooped shoulders and a narrow blade of a nose perched in the foyer. The man’s black suit, black hair, and black eyes befitted a funeral director. The crow-man’s gaze snared hers. She imagined he and death were on a first-name basis.
The door opened again, and before Logan even had a chance to close it, Darcy rushed past Robbie and the crow-man into her cousin’s arms. Grim lines furrowed his face. He held her close. The crow-man invaded Ada’s room. She left Logan to put herself between the man and her grandmother.
The crow-man took two tentative steps toward her, his voice wrapping around her like the softest of cottons. “Miss Wilde, your grandmother and I discussed her wishes several months ago. I promise to take the best care of her.”
Her gaze lifted from the black buttons of his vest to his eyes. Black eyes that weren’t the hard, shiny obsidian she expected, but the darkness of a warm summer night.
“All right,” she whispered and stepped to the side. The business side of death couldn’t wait for her to reassemble her heart.
Mr. Cobb ushered everyone into the kitchen as if it were his house. Perhaps through the years he’d learned to be an oasis of calm surrounded by grief. She served coffee, playing the hostess through habit. A date for the funeral was set, and she volunteered to write Ada’s obituary. Details swirled like gnats. She allowed Logan to make the decisions, nodding when he looked at her with a question on his face.
The conversation waned, and the men rose. Robbie squeezed her shoulder before following Logan and Mr. Cobb out the swinging kitchen door.
Metal clanged. Ada’s body travelled out of the house, but the house had been empty long before. Maybe that’s what had woken her in the night. The emptiness.
Logan and Robbie’s whispers crashed around her, and their looks spoke of worry. She needed to pull herself together.
“I’m fine. Tired. I think I’ll go back to bed.” The words emerged hoarse, but stronger than she thought possible. “You need to be getting to work, don’t you, Robbie?”
“It’s nearly noon. I called in a sub. Do you want me to get you settled?”
The weak part of her craved his strength. He was made to lean on. But, the other part, the independent part needed to navigate this alone.
“The state playoffs are one win away. Both of you need to be getting the team ready. You know how much Ada loved football. She would bust your butts if you didn’t win. Both of you.” She could see the guilt of life moving on in their eyes.
“I’m fine,” she repeated and turned to the stairs.
Robbie didn’t stop her. She closed the window and the drapes in her room, blocking out the vivid blue sky and the panorama of colors. The covers over her head shrouded her in darkness. She riffled through memories and focused on the happy ones. She drifted to sleep, her dreams populated by a younger, laughing Ada.
#
The first sensation she registered upon waking was the warmth of a body pressed against hers. Robbie? She turned toward the heat and pulled the blankets off her head. A blast of rancid breath popped her eyes open.
A tongue lolled inches away from her mouth. A short yip signaled Avery’s happiness she was awake, and he licked her across her lips and cheek. She wiped the doggy saliva off her cheek. Getting nearly frenched by a dog was a unique way to wake up.
She laughed and rubbed Avery behind the ears. Her laughter changed into tears, but the shock of finding Ada had faded. Her heart had ripped, but the memories she found in her dreams had begun stitching the wound—slowly, painfully, but healing nonetheless.
Darcy had things to do. After cleaning herself up and letting Avery out to water his rose bush, she grabbed her laptop and sat at the kitchen table. She avoided the den, couldn’t face the empty hospital bed surrounded by the books Ada loved so.
The dreams fresh on her mind, she wrote about the Ada she remembered. The obituary wasn’t the sad, plodding list of mother and father, dead children, and surviving family. It honored a strong, funny woman. She proofed it a second time with a smile on her face. Ada would have slapped her knee and crowed along with her.
By early evening, food started to arrive, accompanied by half the town. Preacher Higgs and his wife were the first visitors. Ada had not been a regular churchgoer, but whether her grandmother’s butt hit the pew or not, she had been part of the preacher’s flock.
Darcy only had time to set the casserole on the stovetop before the doorbell rang again. The three librarians, with red-rimmed eyes, stood there clutching covered dishes. Darcy ushered them inside with hugs.
She brewed coffee, pulled out a jug of tea, and set out plates, glasses, and silverware. More and more people arrived. Most were friends Ada had cultivated through the years. Darcy settled them on the couches and chairs in the living room listening as they reminisced about Ada. Tears were shed, but above the buzz of wavering voices, laughter was the most common noise.
Kat’s parents bustled in with hugs, kisses, and a pot of turnip greens. Kat followed soon after, hugging her tightly and flashing a flask before Darcy was peeled away by another sympathy giver. Tyler’s mother, still in her factory blue uniform, brought more tea, and Gemmalee, Miles’ grandmother, brought a banana pudding. All of the senior football players stopped by to pay their respects.
Avery stayed by her side, and she found her hand falling to his head much like Robbie’s habitually did. Although, she wouldn’t have thought it possible that morning, she ate a huge plate of food. The moon had risen as she waved the last visitor down the lane. Only Kat stayed.
Kat unscrewed the top of the flask and offered it to Darcy. She saluted the moon with the flask and took a swig. The burn brought a different sort of tears to her eyes. She and Kat stood on the porch, passing the flask back and forth, no words necessary, until the stars shone brightly and Darcy was pleasantly fuzzy from the whisky.
“I brought a couple of movies. We’re having a sleepover,” Kat said as if she expected an argument from Darcy.
“As long as you didn’t bring
Schindler’s List
, I’m in.”
“How about the one with all the male strippers? We’ll turn the volume down and supply our own dialogue.” Kat winked.
Headlights cut through the trees. Two trucks pulled in. Avery bounded down the steps and loved on Robbie, jumping as high as his three legs allowed.
Logan squeezed her around the shoulders. “How’re you holding up?” Darkness ringed his eyes and a yawn slipped out.
“I’m okay.” Her surprise at the truth of the answer lilted the word high. “There’s more food than will fit in the fridge. You missed the entire town stopping by. Go fix yourself a plate.” She hugged her cousin tightly around his waist. Kat led Logan into the kitchen.
Robbie waited at the bottom of the porch stairs. His gaze roved, probing deeper for the truth. “How are you really?”
“I’m … sad, but writing her obituary made me feel better. It helped to have Avery here, to not wake up alone. Thank you,” she whispered.
He nodded but didn’t move to take her in his arms as she hoped. Instead, his gaze drifted somewhere off to the side, through the distance that yawned between them.
“This morning. I didn’t know who else to call,” she said. Logan would have been the obvious choice, but she hadn’t even considered it in her shock. She’d wanted Robbie.