Sleeping With the Opposition (Bad Boy Bosses) (12 page)

He was already halfway up the stairs. If they were going to spend all night in the hospital, maybe she should get something to eat. If she was making something for herself, the least she could do… “Do you want me to make you a sandwich?” she called after him.

He stopped just one step from the next level and smiled down at her with such gratitude that she winced. He obviously thought that her offer meant some kind of truce between them. Was he right?

“That would be amazing, thanks. You know what I like.”

You know what I like.

She did, didn’t she? She knew that he liked lots of mayo on his sandwich, but only with chicken or turkey breast. With ham or corned beef, he preferred spicy Dijon mustard, dill pickle, and tomato. And he always chose a thick, crusty bun over sliced bread.

She knew that Leo liked to wear bright colors, especially greens and yellows. He despised black and even avoided black suits, preferring navy or gray.

He liked music that you felt in your gut, and he called pop music—her style of music—“fairy dust” because he said it floated around your head instead of digging into your soul.

Leo liked to exercise—not because he wanted to stay in shape, but because he got tense and jittery if he wasn’t constantly moving. He stored energy like other people stored fat and had to burn it off just the same. And he liked boxing because it helped him feel closer to his father, despite the fact that his father had never been a boxer before he died. But he said that his father would have been proud of him for finding a way to keep his mother from crying, and boxing had been the way that he’d done that.

Yes, she knew what Leo liked.

He liked when she let him take control and do whatever he wanted to her body, but he also liked when she went on top, and her hair fell down across them both like a curtain. He liked to kiss her in front of the windows and joked that it was their duty to inspire all the unlucky couples in their neighborhood who’d fallen into a rut.

He liked the dip of her waist when they spooned in bed, and his hand would rest there all night long.

She made sandwiches on autopilot as her traitorous body called up all the memories she’d denied herself for weeks. She wrapped the food and packed a cooler bag with a jar of pickles, some apples, and a couple bottles of water.

She’d just finished cleaning up when Leo came back downstairs. She glanced over at the digital display on the microwave. He’d taken exactly one hour. His hair was still damp, curling a bit at the collar, but he looked revitalized. She envied him the ability to turn everything off and rest when he needed to rest. It was probably because he was so active every other moment of the day that when he finally laid his head on the pillow, there was nothing left to do but sleep. Bria could never just sleep. She tossed and turned, fighting the demons that always chose that time to torment her since she was too exhausted to keep holding them back.

Leo came forward and took the bag off the counter. He noted the weight of it and sent her a knowing grin. “You made dinner for everyone, didn’t you?”

She blushed and shrugged. “I figured that Julie probably hasn’t eaten much besides that horrible cafeteria food, and if Mac and Aiden are still at the hospital when we arrive, maybe they’ll want something, too.”

He looked like he wanted to say something, but when she started to edge back toward the counter, he wiped the soft expression from his face and simply smiled.

She cleared her throat. “Ready to go, then?” Not that she was eager to enter a hospital for any reason, and especially not in a situation like this, but the air between her and Leo had gotten warm, as if someone had come in and flipped on the oven without either of them noticing.

Leo carried the cooler bag and flagged down a taxi outside at the curb while she locked the front door. A cab would be much easier than driving themselves and trying to find parking at the hospital.

The evening was cold, as if ice crystals were forming in the air before her very eyes, just too tiny to see yet. Suddenly, Bria realized that in just a few more weeks, maybe only days, autumn would be over and winter would descend. A whole other season meant that time was passing. How could time be passing when her life was still so unsettled?

She climbed into the taxi while Leo held the door for her. When he got in beside her, she held her breath to brace for impact, but it didn’t help. The brush of his powerful legs and brawny forearm almost made her eyes roll back in her head, and she started to shift away into the corner, but something stopped her. An irrational, impetuous, insane part of her thrilled at his touch. It was a part that she’d happily shown the door to weeks ago, and she hadn’t thought that she’d ever be willing to welcome it back in. She did it now because she needed the distraction, or she’d start thinking about where they were going and why.

And yet…

And yet maybe that wasn’t the only reason. She was very close—breathlessly close—to tossing away all her painful decisions. Decisions that had been heartbreaking to make. Decisions that were best for the both of them, even if he couldn’t see it…even if
she
couldn’t always see it.

Leo’s presence was overwhelming, undeniable, irresistible. To remain in control of herself, she took careful, measured breaths the entire drive, right up to the moment they stopped at the curb in front of the hospital. She was so close to the breaking point by then that she flung the door open like the cab had caught fire and made a beeline for the main entrance without waiting for him to pay the driver. She even forgot the cooler with the sandwiches, but by the time she’d reached the information desk, he’d caught up, and he had it with him.

The hospital smell hit her first, but then her gaze locked onto a woman in a wheelchair, very pregnant and obviously in a lot of pain, and Bria spun away. Her breaths came short and quick, and her whole body cringed as she looked down the long corridor in front of her.

“We can leave,” Leo murmured low into her ear. “Right now, we’ll go.”

He gently took her arm, and although his face was frustratingly blank, the heat of his hand helped center her. “No,” she said firmly, pulling herself together. “I’m fine.”

“All right. It’s this way.” His voice had taken on an uncharacteristic rasp, and his gaze was shuttered, making her wonder if he was finally letting her see some of what he felt, that this place got to him as much as it did her.

She bit her lip as they made their way to the elevator. A nurse and three other visitors traveled up to the sixth floor with them. The group got off there, and then she and Leo were alone for another three floors. Three floors that felt like thirty to her racing heart. Three floors that proved she’d been kidding herself about how well she’d been handling her anxiety over coming back here.

When they finally exited the elevator, Bria let out a long breath. She hung back and followed Leo down the hall. She heard Aiden before she saw him.

“You selfish pricks have been standing here blocking this door like we’re going to pass some kind of disease on to Dez if anyone lets us in there.” His voice echoed down the hall. Bria and Leo rounded the corner just in time to see him spin away from a thin, white-faced couple like he might take a swing at them if he didn’t.

Mac quickly stepped in between his brother and the older man and woman. He held up his hand and glared back at Aiden. “Outbursts like that aren’t going to help anything.” As Mac glanced up, he must have seen Leo and Bria because relief flooded his expression. “So we’re going to leave now.”

He grabbed Aiden’s arm and shoved him down the hall toward them. Aiden sent a dark look over his shoulder and shook his brother’s grip off, but he kept moving until he reached them. “Brianna, I’m so glad you’re here,” he said with a warm smile. “It’s been too long, sweetie.”

Bria let the big bear wrap her up in a hug that swept her right off the floor, tears pricking her eyelids. “Hey, you hotheaded idiot,” she gulped. “What are you doing causing a scene like that in a place like this?”

He let her back down and ran a hand over his mouth and chin, deep frown lines cutting ridges into his forehead. “Those holier-than-thou righteous pricks won’t let Julie in Dez’s room to see him, because they don’t approve of their son’s relationship with her.” He scoffed, but his expressive eyes were full of hurt. “As if running a fight club made Julie dirty, and she somehow passed something on to Dez, and that’s the reason he’s in the hospital, not the car crash.”

She glanced down the hall. The woman had her hand over her throat and looked like she might pass out, and the man put an arm around her shoulders and glared down the hall at them.

“They’re Dez’s parents?” They looked frail, too frail to be dealing with the imminent death of their own son. Bria could imagine what it was like—probably thousands of times worse than what she’d felt knowing the baby inside her was dying and there was nothing she could do to prevent it. “This must be horrifying for them. Maybe they’re just not handling it very well.”

Mac didn’t hug her—he’d never been the type for outward displays of affection, not even with a girlfriend…which might be why none seemed to last long. But he gave her a soft smile that spoke volumes, and she smiled back at him.

“Dez woke up this afternoon,” he said with his trademark calm.

Her heart leaped. “What? He did?” She and Leo both said the same thing at the very same time.

Aiden nodded. “After the doctor said this would probably be his last day, Dez’s
guards
finally let Julie sit with him, and I guess he just opened his eyes and looked right at her. He didn’t say anything, and he didn’t stay conscious for longer than a minute, but ever since
they
heard about it”—“they” being the frail old couple down the hall—“no one’s been allowed in since,
especially
Julie.”

Bria frowned. “I don’t get it. Why?”

Aiden practically growled. “When they thought he was dying, they were
graciously
”— he said it with a sneer—“willing to let Julie have five minutes to say her good-byes. But now that there’s hope he might actually live, they’re acting as if her presence is going to make him worse again or something.”

She looked up at Leo in confusion.

“They haven’t made any secret of the fact that they never approved of their son wanting to marry a girl who runs a fight club,” he said sadly. “And I guess now they’ve decided that his recovery will somehow turn on the company he keeps.”

“Where
is
Julie?” Bria asked with a glance over her shoulders toward the elevator. “Although I’m glad she wasn’t here to see what just happened,” she added, although she understood how frustrated Aiden must be for his sister. They were a real family who’d taken care of one another for a long time—and had always included Leo in that sturdy, supportive dynamic.

Bria had never really thought of Leo as an only child without a father because growing up, he’d had Mac, Aiden, and Julie to be his siblings. He’d had Mr. Russo’s son to be his role model, and he’d had Mr. Russo himself as a surrogate father figure. There had been so many positive influences in Leo’s life.

Bria had never been so lucky, and she envied Leo’s closeness with these warm, loving people. It hurt to think she might lose the proximal connection to that closeness when she and Leo were divorced.

“We talked Julie into taking a bit of a break. We hounded her after Dez woke up, figuring maybe she could safely let up on the death vigil for a couple of hours. She’s been sitting outside his door for the last three days worrying that if she stepped away, he’d be gone by the time she got back.”

Tears stung her eyes just thinking about it. “So the doctors are optimistic about his chances?”

“We haven’t been told much,” Aiden grumbled. “But I overheard them talking about lots of tests, which I assume is good, since they’d stopped running tests three days ago when they thought he wasn’t going to last the night off life support.”

Leo clapped a supportive hand on Aiden’s shoulder and held up the cooler. “Bria made dinner. Why don’t you guys go pull up a table in the cafeteria, and we’ll hold the fort here for a while?”

Mac’s eyes grew wide with thanks, and he eagerly took the cooler from Leo. “Thanks for that,” he said. “If I have another cup of vending machine coffee or another stale bagel, they’re going to have to lock me up on the fourth floor.”

Bria chuckled. She didn’t have to find a map of the hospital to come to the conclusion that the psych ward must be on the fourth floor. “Go. Eat. We’ll be here if Julie gets back before you’re done.”

Aiden gave her another hug and followed his brother to the elevator. When they were gone, Bria looked up at Leo and gave him a shaky smile without even thinking about it. At least until he reached for her, pulling her into his arms and resting his chin on the top of her head, just like he would have done a lifetime ago in a difficult moment.

She quickly cleared her throat and stepped back. “Do you think we should go over there and say something to Dez’s parents?” she whispered.

“What do you want to say to them?”

“Maybe if we talk about how compassionate Julie is, and how much she loves Dez, they’ll reconsider their unreasonable refusal to let her see him.”

He paused. “And what if we make things worse, and they have us and Julie’s whole family kicked out of the hospital for harassment?”

She put her hands on her hips and put on her best negotiator’s smile. “Have you ever known anyone to say no to this face?”

Something in his expression cracked, even though he smiled. “I never could,” he admitted in a low voice.

Chapter Ten

Bria’s face flushed. “Leo?” Her thin, reedy voice tugged at his heart and made him want to tear the world apart with his bare hands.

He should have gone a few rounds at the club before asking her to come here, because without that outlet to even him out, his control was weak. Every move she made, and each anguished look she didn’t know she was giving him, plunged the knife deeper into his heart.

He wanted to take her into his arms and promise that they would get through this. He wanted to promise that she didn’t have to feel so alone in her pain, that he shared it as deeply as she did. But every time he opened his mouth, the words got stuck in his throat. He couldn’t let her see the depths of his broken heart. He’d been down that road before, and those emotions were dark and destructive, and would only prove to Bria just how weak he really was.

He clenched his jaw and stepped back, trying not to see the ghost of a wince cross her face. It was made worse because he felt like they’d turned some kind of corner today. First, when they’d come face-to-face outside the courtroom this afternoon. She probably didn’t even realize it, but she’d looked up at him as if she’d
missed
him. For a split second, he’d debated turning around and spending another three days out of touch to see if he could compound that reaction…but
he’d
never survive another hour away, much less a few days.

Then there’d been a moment in the kitchen. So much tenderness and need, battling for supremacy. They’d barely spoken, but he felt like he could have dragged her on top of his lap in the backseat of the taxi cab, and she would have let him.

Even now, although she’d pulled away from him, it had been with less hurt, less anger, less vehemence. Maybe Julie had been right all along. Maybe all he’d needed to do was give Bria enough time to come back around on her own.

Maybe.

If only he could rely on maybes, but he’d learned early that when people left, they didn’t come back. He had to fight for what he wanted. He had to fight to keep it. And for Bria, he would be ruthless.

He shook his head now and nudged her forward, toward the couple still standing guard in front of Dez’s hospital room door. “You should give it a shot. If anyone can talk them into seeing that Julie’s worthy of their only son, it’s you.”

They walked down the hall together. “Mr. and Mrs. Jacobs, we met yesterday evening. I’m Leo Markham. I’d like you to meet my wife, Brianna,” he said. He found himself holding his breath, waiting to see if she was going to deny his claim as to her spousal status.

She only smiled and held out her hand to shake each of theirs in turn. “I’m so relieved to hear the news about Dez,” she said. Her voice was soft and full of the compassion that made her such a wonderful person and a unique and gifted lawyer. He knew why some characterized it as a weakness, but that only ended up being their downfall. “Have the doctors been able to give you any idea when he might wake up again?”

The couple glanced up at each other. Mr. Jacobs looked grim and forbidding, but Mrs. Jacobs sighed as if it was too difficult keeping all her worry inside, and said, “There hasn’t been another other sign of consciousness since this afternoon. The doctor said sometimes they open their eyes, but it doesn’t necessarily mean that the coma has broken. If he was coming out of it, we probably would have had some other sign by now…” Her voice broke, and her hands twisted around each other.

Bria automatically reached for the woman’s hands and squeezed. “He’s so strong, with so much to live for and so many people who care about him. He’ll pull through this,” she whispered. Tears glistened in her eyes, and Leo put his hand on
her
shoulder.

Mrs. Jacobs nodded as if Bria’s words were a comfort. The two women sat down next to each other on the stiff chairs lining the wall beside the door to Dez’s room.

“Did you know that my husband and Julie and her brothers grew up together? They were all mentored by a close friend of the family, who was a boxing coach, and that’s how Julie, Mac, and Aiden got into the business they’re in now.” Brianna’s voice remained low and soothing as she spoke. “But Dez has been so good for Julie. She glows like the sun whenever he walks into the room, and he’s always telling anyone who’ll listen how amazing she is.” Dez’s mother nodded, as if reluctantly remembering that she’d seen the spark between the couple, too. Leo stuffed his hands in his pockets and nodded at Mr. Jacobs, who slowly relaxed his military stance at the doorway.

He wasn’t sure how much time passed. The doctor came, and Mr. and Mrs. Jacobs didn’t ask Bria or Leo to leave while they were given an update that made tears of relief come to their eyes. The test results indicated that the coma had indeed broken. Dez would wake up again.

Bria glanced up at him with a big smile, and it was all he could do not to take her in his arms. It was the first time since their implosion that the bitterness and anguish was gone from her eyes, and she wasn’t looking at him with that defeated expression, like they were already over and it was just a matter of waiting for the trash man to come and pick up their battered relationship from the curb.

Afterward, she continued to sit with the older couple, telling them stories about Julie and Dez. Leo debated stepping away to check his messages at the office, but he didn’t want to leave Bria. He was content to simply stand there with his arm propped against the wall, watching her.

He knew that even coming here had been hard for her, but she was so strong, nobody but him would have been able to see the slight strain in her face whenever she glanced down the hall or they were interrupted by another doctor being paged to Emergency.

He looked up a little while later to see Julie walking toward them. She’d changed clothes and taken a shower since he’d seen her the evening before, although she still didn’t look as if she’d gotten much sleep. As her shuttered gaze locked on Dez’s parents, her jaw set as if she was readying to do battle.

He headed her off before she could go into full-on offensive mode. “Bria’s been talking to them,” he whispered with a supportive arm around her shoulders. “In her usual insightful way, I think she’s helped them see that they’ve treated you unfairly, and you have every right to spend time with Dez.”

The hope that flashed across Julie’s face was heartbreaking. She wanted so badly to be with her fiancé right now, and she knew just as well as he did that Bria’s gift for helping people see reason was her best chance.

When he returned to the trio waiting outside Dez’s room with Julie at his side, Bria smiled and stood up to give her a big hug. “He’s going to be okay,” she assured Julie without any hesitation.

Mr. Jacobs nodded. “We heard from the doctor a few minutes ago,” he offered after only a brief hesitation, “and their prognosis is still guarded but positive. They’ll know more once all the tests have come back, but even though he hasn’t awakened again, they’re saying that the coma broke, and now his body is just resting.”

Julie’s mouth fell open, and she didn’t say anything. She didn’t seem to know how to react to Dez’s parents sharing information with her. Leo squeezed her arm.

“Thank you,” she said finally. Her voice cracked with emotion. “Thank you for telling me.”

Mrs. Jacobs gave her a shaky smile. “Why don’t you go on in and sit with him?” she said. “I’m sure if he’s going to wake up for anyone, it will be you.”

Julie swallowed hard and wiped at the tears that had started streaming down her face. “Thank you,” she whispered again.

Leo opened the door and let her through. Bria smiled and gave her a hug before Julie went inside.

After a few minutes, Julie came back to the door. “He’s awake again,” she said excitedly. “And he’s talking!” She urged Dez’s parents to come in with her.

Relieved, Leo watched through the window in the door for a second before turning to Bria with a sigh. He ran a hand through his hair. “I thought we were going to come here today and hold her through the worst day of her life. It’s amazing how life can turn on a dime.”

“Thank God everything is going to be all right,” she said tightly.

“In more ways than one. Not only will Dez live to see another day, but Julie will be able to spend it with him,” he said. “I don’t know how, but you always manage to make people at their worst see reason and think beyond the emotional pain they’re feeling.”

A shadow passed across her face, and he knew what she was thinking.

He took a step closer. “We’re going to get past this, too.” He willed her to accept his hope and to believe in his certainty.

“It isn’t that I can’t see past my own emotions,” she murmured, blinking rapidly. “Maybe I see too clearly.”

His heart cracked open every time she cried, and he smoothed his thumb across the ball of her cheek. “Then you should see that our love is strong enough to—”

“How could I possibly see that when you won’t show me?” she said, her voice strained. “The last time I was in this hospital, I might as well have been here by myself.”

He hissed. “That’s not fair. I was here. I never
left
. Whatever you needed, I made sure you had it.”

She shook her head. “As long as it was extra pillows, or a glass of water, sure. But when I needed the reassurance of knowing that my husband understood what I was going through, that he shared the loss as deeply as I did, then all I got was cold. You literally walked out of my room when I asked you to tell me how you felt. Nothing would have made that experience any less difficult, but your reaction made it
more
difficult. Even now, you talk to me about love and togetherness, but your expression is made of stone.”

He swore. She didn’t realize what she was asking from him. She thought she wanted to see what he felt, but if he let that pain out, how was he ever supposed to reel it back in? And then how would she look at him once he’d proved just how weak he was? Who could rely on someone like that? How could she be with him if he let his emotions tear him apart from the inside out? “You know I’m not good at—”

“Oh, Leo, you
shouldn’t
be good at it,” she interrupted. “Nobody should be good at this kind of thing, obviously. But I can’t plan a future with someone who’s going to leave me to drown whenever life gets hard.”

His instinct was to keep protesting, but her words had struck home.
Your reaction made it
more
difficult
. His mother hadn’t said it to him all those years ago when his grief and anger had boiled over and gotten him into trouble, but he knew she’d felt the same.

He swallowed his confusion and reached for Bria’s hand. He opened his mouth and shut it three times trying to put the words together to say what she needed to hear.
I want to be what you need. I want you to know what I’m feeling. The loss of our baby put a hole in my heart that will ache until my dying day, and without you, that hole only gets bigger until it swallows me completely. Don’t give up on me.

Dez’s hospital room door opened and Julie poked her head out. Bria dropped her hand and looked away, a grimace of regret and disappointment tightening her forehead.

“Do you guys want to come in and say hello?” Julie asked.

Bria smiled weakly and shook her head. “I think we’ll go on home and visit again in a day or two when he’s had a chance to rest and adjust. I’m just glad that he’s awake.”

Julie stepped forward and hugged them both. “Thank you for everything,” she said. Her gaze narrowed. “Can I say something to both of you? Something I’ve learned after weeks of this excruciating uncertainty?” She glanced over her shoulder. Her spirit was obviously back there at Dez’s bedside.

“Julie, whatever this is can wait until you and Dez are back home,” Leo said.

“No, it can’t. I need you guys to know how important you are to me and Dez and my brothers.”

Bria put her hand on Julie’s arm. “Oh, honey—”

“Bria, I can’t even begin to imagine what you went through the last time you were in this building.” She paused and glanced at Leo. “But after spending night after night in the chair outside Dez’s door, not knowing whether he was ever going to walk out of that room, I know that you weren’t alone in your pain. No matter how insulated you might have felt, you and Leo went through it together.”

“Julie, please—” Bria’s voice was a thin plea for mercy, and Leo’s shoulders stiffened defensively.

“Julie, I don’t need you to fight my battles,” he bit out.

“I’m only saying this because the idea that Dez might wake up in that bed tomorrow morning and decide that it’s too hard, and he doesn’t want…” Her voice broke with unshed tears.

Bria looked shell-shocked and broken once more, and Leo wanted to swear a blue streak. He put his hand on Julie’s arm. “You’ve been through a lot the last few weeks, Julie. Go to Dez, then get some sleep, and don’t worry about anything else.”

She looked back and forth between the two of them and finally nodded. With another round of hugs, she retreated back into Dez’s room, and he and Bria were left alone in the empty hospital hallway.

The burst of hope he’d been feeling all day fizzled at the pallor in her face. “Let’s get out of here, okay?” he said.

She looked up at him without saying anything for a long time. He almost thought she was going to refuse, so he took her hand gently and pulled her along to the elevator.

Outside, he flagged down a taxi and gave their address to the driver. Bria still hadn’t said anything, but Leo wasn’t willing to let go of their progress, to let either of them slide back into the darkness that had characterized their last few weeks.

“She’s right, you know.”

Those were the words he’d wanted to say, but they hadn’t come from him. They’d come from Bria.

He tried not to show his surprise, although his heart was pounding and the butterflies in his stomach swarmed.

“It feels like all I’ve done lately is give everyone else great advice: open your heart, give second chances, embrace forgiveness.” She glanced up, but the darkness shrouded her expression from his view. “I know you love me. I know you’d do anything to keep me from harm. And I know that you mourned our baby in your own way,” she whispered. “Maybe it’s wrong of me to demand more than you can give. Maybe I should be grateful to have you in my life at all.”