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Authors: Sara Curran-Ross

BOOK: Sleeping Love
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Sabrina’s eyes filled with unexpected tears as she listened to Raoul’s impassioned speech as he recounted his pain at her disappearance. Their appearance only seemed to fuel his anger even more.

 

‘I want answers, Sabrina, and after everything you have put me through these last seven years, you are going to give them to me, darling wife. So yes you will stay, and yes I will make you a prisoner if I have to.’

 

Sabrina would have retorted, but both fear and confusion about her disappearance from the Chateau caused a flurry of broken images to twist inside her mind. She could see herself standing talking to someone. Music played in the background, and there were people dancing in Venetian masks. It looked as though she was attending a Masked Ball. She was unhappy with someone and kept saying, ‘I know what you are doing, and I won’t let you get away with it. You won’t stop me.’ Her emotions at the time were fearful, but she was determined. The image played over and over in her mind.

 

‘Sabrina,’ Raoul sternly called her name, but his voice sounded vague, distant, beyond the memory taking prominence in her mind. ‘Sabrina,’ Raoul’s voice was more gentle this time, but it was the touch of his fingers on her cheek that roused her and brought her attention back into focus.

 
‘Sabrina, what is wrong? You seemed to disappear. You were vacant for a moment, I . . .’
 
‘I remembered something . . . I think I did anyway,’ her voice sounded drowsy with disbelief and confusion.
 
Raoul’s mouth lifted into a cautious smile as he studied her closely.
 

‘That’s good. It’s a start. You look pale. You were out of it. Now you must see how I can’t allow you to leave. It is unsafe for you to be alone,’ he whispered, continuing his light caress of her cheek.

 

‘I just want to be alone so I can think. I know you are upset and angry, but this is very frightening for me. I woke up beaten in a hospital and . . .’ she paused feeling the tears gather in her eyes.

 

‘And raped,’ Raoul slowly finished for her. The pain in his eyes tightened. ‘I know about your injuries, Sabrina.’

 

Sabrina turned away angrily rubbing at the tears suddenly running down her face. She didn’t like showing weakness to anyone.

 

‘You must be afraid to trust anyone, especially me,’ Raoul continued gently. ‘But I have to make you. You need help, and I want you back. I will do whatever it takes to make you remember. I want to know who did this to you, and I want them to pay,’ he was restraining the angry frustration in his voice, but Sabrina couldn’t help pity the man when he found him.

 

‘Please you have to let me go. I want to think about this. . . How do I know you weren’t involved?’ she blurted out afraid that she might actually be imprisoned with her real attacker. ‘How do I know it wasn’t you?’ She felt the remorse the moment she spoke the words.

 

Raoul’s eyes fired with angry disappointment. Hurt was visibly strong on his features. A sense of betrayal and disloyalty strangled Sabrina’s insides with guilt. Raoul caught her chin and lifted it up towards himself, forcing her gaze to painful attention with the strain of his hold.

 

‘Make no mistake,’ he told her darkly. ‘I did not beat or rape you. I did not try to murder you either. I would never hurt you. I love you, and I want you back. If you remembered me, you would never think that I was capable of such violence. Don’t ever doubt or question me on this again. I won’t tolerate it. Do you understand, Sabrina?’

 

‘You just expect me to trust you? I know nothing about . . .’

 

‘Yes, I do,’ he interrupted with impatience. ‘You have no choice. I am not giving you one.’

 

He slowly lowered her chin and moved away. He picked up the wedding certificate he had dropped onto a side table and took it back to the drawer.

 
He gestured towards all of the photographs littering the room.
 
‘Did I look like I wanted to murder you? Can’t you see how happy we were?’ he sounded frustrated, almost despairing.
 
‘I’m sorry, but I can’t remember. If there was any way I could, I would,’ Sabrina heard herself shout.
 
Raoul leaned back against his desk with folded arms, watching her intently.
 

‘We will find a way,’ he said calmly. There was no room for defeat in his tone. ‘I have a doctor who specialises in treating amnesia coming to the Chateau tomorrow to examine you.’

 

‘What? You can’t just take over my life. I have my own doctor . . .’

 

‘I am your husband, and I have every right to interfere in your life and take over when you are in ill health. Besides, I only deal with the best in the medical profession.’

 

Sabrina lost her temper.

 

‘You are infuriating. I am leaving in the morning. I am going to my room.’

 

Sabrina opened the door. Raoul had done nothing to stop her leaving the room, remaining in his relaxed position, leaning against his desk.

 

‘Sabrina, if you leave this house tomorrow, I will find you and have you committed to a hospital until your memory returns,’ he informed her casually. She turned quickly ready to launch a full on verbal attack, but he held up his hand to silence her protest and carried on. ‘And believe me, it will be useless to fight me on this. I have enough power and influence with the police and the medical profession in Paris to make it happen so fast, it will make your head spin. Don’t force me to act. I really don’t want you confined in a private psychiatric hospital. I want you here at home with me. I want us to be together again. But if confining you in a hospital is the only way to keep you in my life until you remember, I will not hesitate.’

 

Sabrina gave a small growl of contempt.

 

‘I won’t let you get away with this. I don’t lie down and play dead easily.’

 

‘I know. That’s why I am coming down hard on you. You have been warned,’ he said quietly, narrowing his dark eyes, leaving her in no doubt he had every intention of carrying out his threat if she pushed him to it. He was that afraid of losing her again. A secret part of her loved him for his passion and desire to breach boundaries to keep her with him, but the stronger more sensible, sane part of her detested him for it. He would not win this war. When she remembered, if she could remember, it would be on her terms and in her way, not his.

 

Sabrina turned to walk out of the door frustrated and angry that he had suddenly taken control of her life. This wasn’t how she’d fantasised about meeting her long lost loved ones. She hadn’t anticipated it being so adversarial. In her fantasy, regaining her memory would be gradual, not a forced, impatient process or one where she was made to feel mentally unstable and a prisoner. Control of how she would regain her memory would be in her hands alone not anybody else’s.

 

‘Oh and one more thing,’ he said standing to his full height to walk towards her. ‘You will be sleeping in our room with me tonight. I want my wife back in my bed.’

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Four

 

 

 

Anger rose inside Sabrina to fever pitch. She cherished her independence with a passion, and not Raoul or anybody else was going to take it away from her. It wasn’t in her make-up to capitulate so easily to threats no matter who was dishing them out. To emphasise her angry determination not to be frightened she slammed the door shut with force and turned to confront Raoul.

 

He was shaking his gorgeous head and tutting at her with cruel amusement. Sabrina felt her eyes narrow.

 

‘Temper, temper, darling. You always were explosive. A firecracker, I used to call you. I see that you have lost none of your spark.’

 

His lips curled in a mischievous, seductive smile, and that damned playful look glinted in his eyes. Her greatest wish that moment was to wipe the smile from his face, and it was with a huge effort she kept her hand by her side. Though she did wonder how long she would be able to restrain herself if he kept on provoking her. He seemed to be taking great pleasure in riling her anger. He knew exactly how to push her buttons and obtain a rise from her. Perhaps it was some sort of revenge for making him feel as if she had deserted him.

 

‘I don’t know what kind of woman I was when I lived with you, but here and now I do not take orders from anyone, especially from men,’ Sabrina’s attempt to keep her voice level and calm disintegrated towards the end of her sentence. To her fury, triumph reigned in his eyes.
Bastard.
He was enjoying his control over her. She swallowed a breath and forced herself to continue maintaining as much dignity as she could, refusing to give him anymore satisfaction.

 

‘I am leaving. If you do anything to stop me, I will call the police and have you arrested for false imprisonment. I am sure they would be interested in what I have to say, especially when they obviously believe you are capable of murder,’ she snapped loudly, suddenly feeling confident the upper hand was now hers. But to her fury and her strong sense that he deserved the jibe, she felt her insides twist with remorse and guilt once more.

 

A frown creased Raoul’s forehead, but he appeared undeterred or affected by her words. Sabrina watched him reach into his suit pocket and bring out a mobile. Sabrina recognised it at once. It was hers. He must have taken it from her room when she wasn’t looking. He’d planned this reunion well. He shook it at her.

 
‘And how are you going to call them without this?’ he asked.
 
Sabrina’s eyes quickly diverted to the land line on his desk.
 
‘I’m afraid that won’t help you. I’ve had all the land lines cut.’
 

Instinct not to trust his words made her rush to the phone and pick it up. To her horror she did find the line dead. Raoul took the receiver from her with a smile and put it down.

 

‘Like it or not darling wife you are here to stay.’ There was no mistaking the bitterness and hurt that she wanted to leave again, in his voice.

 

Sabrina backed away towards the door watching him follow her. Raoul dropped the mobile to the floor and stepped on it, crushing the small metal box. ‘There is no escape, Sabrina. Until you get your memory back I am in control . . .’

 

Sabrina didn’t let him finish his sentence. Her temper finally got the better of her. She brought her hand crashing against the side of his face in a heavy slap. Raoul’s reaction was swift. He caught hold of her arms and pushed her backwards against the wall. She vainly attempted to raise her hand and slap him again, afraid for her life and the sudden violent darkness in his eyes. He caught both of her hands and held them against the wall at the sides of her head trapping her there. Terrified of what he was about to do, Sabrina caught her breath. She couldn’t help wondering if her earlier remorse for questioning him as her attacker might have been misplaced.

 

What followed spun her head and her thoughts out of control. Far from using violence against her, Raoul bent his head and captured her lips in a deep, possessive kiss. But what disturbed her the most was her own reaction. Far from being repulsed or angered by his liberty, Sabrina found herself responding, opening her mouth wider to accommodate him as though it was a pleasure she had been denied for far too long. Slowly her resistance melted, and she found herself in Raoul’s arms lost in another time. Her mind whispered caution, but her heart and soul craved the memory of his masterful touch.

 

Raoul rested his head against her forehead. His thumb traced the delicate curve of her cheek as a still quietness surrounded the room. Sabrina could find no words. Her thoughts were confused. She was full of anger, resentment, defence, yet even after all he had said, a part of her responded to Raoul with trust and need. She prayed it was not misplaced. His soothing caress was slowing her frantic heartbeat, and out of the blue she felt very tired and weary. Sabrina looked directly into his eyes searching for his intentions. He gave a small laugh.

 

‘I’m sorry, Sabrina. I don’t mean to make you fearful, but I can’t let you go. It’s been too long. All this time. . . Don’t leave me. Stay of your own will, not because I force you to. Remember what we had together,’ he almost whispered the words. ‘Just now. . . it was as if you remembered. Please . . . come back to me,’ it was a plea for release from torment.

 

Unexpectedly, Sabrina felt tears gather in her eyes and spill out on to her cheeks.

 

‘There’s so much I don’t know. I had to restart my life from scratch. The doctors told me I might never find out about my past. It’s been seven years now. I only get small flashes of memory. Maybe it isn’t going to happen. What if I can’t remember?’ she asked, feeling the sudden weight of panic and guilt, as she swept her eyes over all of the photographs of herself with Raoul. It was her responsibility to remember and ease Raoul’s pain.

 

Raoul gently wiped her tears away with his fingers and cupped her face.

 

‘Shhh. Listen to me, Sabrina. You will remember. I’ll get you all the medical help you need,’ he paused and smiled. ‘But if by some unbelievable chance you don’t, I will just make you fall in love with me all over again.’

 

A knock at the door and the sound of the housekeeper’s voice interrupted their conversation. Raoul caught Sabrina’s hand in his and opened the door.

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