Authors: Tess Hilmo
“Ha!” Roy belted out a laugh and then quickly slapped his hand over his mouth.
Jade grabbed on to the branch. “Careful,” she said. “You nearly knocked me off.”
“Sorry, it's just so blasted funny.” He was shaking his head and muffling giggles. “Can you see the looks on their faces? That one store clerk looks like she's about to pass out.”
The picture began to be clear for Jade. The employees were all standing outside, shaking their heads. Then she noticed the
CLOSED
sign.
“Something must smell real bad inside,” she said.
“If slimy old fish heads smell bad, I'd say you're right.”
“Roy, what did you do?”
“I seized an opportunity, that's all.”
“Spill it.”
“I was just going to show you the Hammer and Nail but after we left Farley's yesterday and you went back to the dog ranch, I was minding my own business, walking along behind the grocery store when I noticed a couple of stray cats gathered around the base of a Dumpster. Then I saw how one of them had a half-chewed fish head in its mouth. After some investigation, I discovered there was a whole bag of fish heads and guts inside that Dumpster. And I said to myself, Roy, this here is what Butch would call prime opportunity. I figured slimy fish heads and guts would only last a short time in this summer heat before they got really ripe. And I guessed customers wouldn't care as much about free popcorn or ten-percent-off tree planting if their shopping experience wasn't asâhow shall I put itâinviting?”
“You're nuts!”
“I'm crafty.” Roy was all smiles. “I cut the fish up in tiny pieces and hid it all over the store. Not only that, I split up their alarm clock display, tucked them behind different merchandise, and set the alarms to go off in five-minute intervals. So every five minutes, they've got to track down another hidden alarm.”
“But you know they'll find the alarms, clean up the fish, and be back in business tomorrow.”
“Not tomorrow. It's going to take a while to fix this mess. And I bet customers will be slow to return after having such a
pleasant
experience. It's like what old Butch said: if you hurt them through their pocketbooks, they'll holler louder than if you cut off both legs.”
“You better hope you don't get caught. I bet they have cameras in that store.”
“I wasn't born yesterday, Jade. I saw the cameras and worked around them. If they go back and watch the footage, I'll just look like a kid interested in curtain rods and PVC pipe. They won't be able to prove anything.” He looked at his watch. “I'd love to stay and see more, but it'd be better if we weren't hanging around and there's one last place I want to show you.”
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14
That one last place was the Wells Fargo bank.
“Why are we here?”
“It's the easiest thing to rob a bank,” Roy said in his matter-of-fact way. “You don't even have to say a word. We just put on a disguise, walk in, hand over a note, and make sure they get a peek at my Colt.” He touched his belt where he kept his pistol. “The whole thing takes sixty seconds, tops.”
“We'll end up in prison, Roy. They have alarms. And guards.”
Roy looked at his watch. “Let me show you something.” He led her around the side and through the front doors. Right inside the lobby was an empty chair. Roy tilted his head at the chair and looked across the foyer of the bank. “See that door on the far side? That's the break room. Calvin goes in there from four to four-thirty. He has a Pepsi and reads his newspaperâevery single afternoon. This chair here stays empty and the bank stays unprotected. Not that Calvin is much to worry about anyway.”
“You know the guard?”
“Wellington is a small town. Besides, I've been casing the joint.”
Jade guessed Roy had waited his whole life to say those words. “Don't they have a sub come in while he's gone?”
“This is the frontier. People are trusting, sometimes to the point of stupid. Follow me.” Roy went out the front doors and around back again. He pointed to a tan box mounted on the wall. “This is their electrical box. The phone lines, which carry the alarm system, and those cameras you're so worried about, all come together here. Tell me, where's the lock on this box?”
Jade could see the hole in the box where the padlock was supposed to be but wasn't.
“Snip these wires,” Roy said, “and we're good to go. The teller can hit her silent-alarm button all she wants. No one will be receiving any signal.”
“Won't the alarm company be alerted once the wires are cut? They'll have to call the police.”
“I've thought about that, too. I happen to know the Wellington Police get false-alarm notices all the time. It's fairly common. We'll use that fact to our advantage by sneaking over here two or three times the week before to trip these wires.”
“How?”
“Simple. We open the box, unthread the phone wire, and then immediately reattach it. Each time we fiddle with the wires, the alarm company will get a loss of signal and call the police. They'll come, check it out, and see that everything is all right. The more we send those false alarms, the slower those good old boys will respond, see? We'll be lulling them into a false sense of security because they'll think it's faulty wiring.”
Jade was surprised. “As much as I hate to admit it, it's a pretty good plan. But we're just kids. It'll never work.”
Roy looked like Jade had slapped him in the face. “Being kids is the best part because no one will suspect us! You'll be outside doing the electrical work and I'll deal with the teller. We'll work up some disguise to make me look older. Stilts or something. They won't know what hit 'em. You need to get over this idea about it being a crime.”
“It is a crime, Roy. A very big crime.”
Roy leaned in, his voice all whispery. “We look at the law differently out here. The way I figure it, the bank is insured by the federal government, right?”
“Right.”
“So any money we get will be replaced by Uncle Sam. Folks around here won't lose a red cent. And, if the government doesn't have enough cash, they can go to their friends at the Treasury and print more. No real harm done. Truly, Jade, it's the way of the West.”
Jade turned and started walking back to Aunt Elise's, leaving Roy standing at that electrical box.
“Think about it,” he called out after her. “That's all I'm asking!”
“Forget it,” Jade called back.
“How can I forget that my parents need help? Tell me how to do that, Jade.”
Jade didn't know what to say, so she just kept walking.
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15
When she got back to her aunt's house, Jade switched on the small countertop fan and watched paper stars and Styrofoam planets dance across the ceiling. Those twists and turns eased her troubled heart. They lulled her into believing everything would be all right with the Parkers' store. They kept her from worrying about Roy's antics over at the Hammer and Nail or his warped idea to rob a bank.
“What are we going to do with that boy?” she asked Copernicus, who was stretched out in a triangle of sunlight by the refrigerator.
Copernicus rolled over, facing the opposite direction.
“You don't think I should encourage his idiotic plan, do you?”
Copernicus turned his head back and meowed.
“Well,” Jade said, “then you're just as crazy. Two kids cannot rob a bank and get away with it.”
Copernicus blinked.
“They can't!”
The cat licked his paws, stood up, and left the kitchen.
Jade leaned against the wall and closed her eyes. “I'm arguing with a cat,” she said to the empty room. “A cat!”
“It happens to the best of us.” Aunt Elise came through the back door. Tufts of dog fur dotted her sweater-vest. When she noticed Jade noticing, she said, “Astro likes to wrestle and Genghis Khan needs a cuddle from time to time, even if he won't admit it.”
“They're lucky to have you.”
She pulled pieces of straw from her sandals. “I was cleaning out one of the kennels. Mia went home today and both Sadie and Lady will go home tomorrow, but the Governor is coming, so that helps.”
“The Governor?”
“I don't name them, I just love them. He's a black lab and full of get-up-and-go. I think you'll get along.” She sat down at the table. “What were you arguing with Copernicus about?”
How could Jade even begin to explain? “Nothing, really.”
“He's used to ruling the roost, so let me know if he needs a talking-to and I'll take care of it.”
That made Jade smile.
“I'd typically microwave a frozen burrito for dinner, but I promised your mom I'd make more of an effort in the meal department. How about you help me put something together?”
Jade looked in the cupboards. They were filled with things like canned okra, canned tomatoes, canned tuna, canned spinach, canned pearl onions, canned Vienna sausages (which made Jade gag to even think about), canned chili, canned peaches, and canned kidney beans. “You got anything fresh?” she asked.
“All of those cans are fresh. I got them right before you came.”
Jade tried the refrigerator. There was a plastic container that held the leftover stew, a few slabs of bacon, milk, cheese, and a dozen eggs. Those eggs gave her an idea.
“How about an omelet?” she said. “We can make it with bacon, onions, and cheese.”
“Excellent!” Aunt Elise said, picking the dog fur off her sweater-vest and going over to the sink to wash her hands. “You take the lead.”
Jade took the pearl onions from the cupboard, hoping a salt-and-butter sauté would help with their slimy, canned texture. “Where do you keep your nonstick pans?”
Aunt Elise pointed to the cast-iron skillet on the stove. “That pan will sauté, fry, boil, and burn anything you want. It's multitalented.”
Jade set to work: whisking and chopping and seasoning, making do with what they had. She lined bacon strips onto a plate and popped them in the microwave.
Aunt Elise grated the cheese. “Where did you learn to cook?”
“My mom taught me some things, but mostly I figured it out on my own. I'm not very good.”
“I disagree, this smells delicious.”
Jade kept stirring the onions, trying to keep them from burning in the pan. “It won't be perfect,” she said.
“Who cares about that? Perfect has no personality.”
Jade poured in the whisked eggs and sprinkled the cheese and microwaved bacon on top. She flipped the omelet over, pushing the broken middle back together and let it finish cooking.
“Now this is a meal with character,” Aunt Elise said when Jade set the mound of egg and cheese in front of her. She took a bite. “Scrumptious!” She clicked her tongue twice and Copernicus came bounding in. “We've a chef in the house,” she said to the cat, cutting a corner of the omelet and dropping it onto the floor. He sniffed, wary. “I didn't cook it, I swear.” Copernicus glanced at Jade and started eating.
“Roy showed me around County Hardware today,” Jade said, starting another omelet for herself.
Aunt Elise slowly twirled the fork in her hand and then gently placed it on her plate. “That empty store is a sad sight. Which reminds me.” She went over to the counter and picked up a stack of flyers. “Voilà !”
They were exactly what Jade had hoped for. Stars lined the edges and a soft, curly font spelled out all the information. “I've also made a note of places you can take them to, like the YMCA and the Scout Council.” She pulled out a list outlining nearly every business in Wellington. “You are an incredible young lady,” Aunt Elise said, sitting back down and eating her shabby omelet like it was straight from Wolfgang Puck.
Jade flipped her eggs over in the pan. “I don't know if I'd call this food
incredible.
”
“Wrong!” Aunt Elise shoved her fork in the air. “It is beyond that. But I wasn't talking about the food. I was most definitely talking about you and your brilliant idea to help the Parkers.” Copernicus mewed for a second helping. “Traitor,” Aunt Elise said, sliding another chunk of her omelet in front of the cat.
Jade looked up at the glittering stars and planets dangling above her head. She thought of Roy standing in front of Wells Fargo, staring at that electrical box and fighting so hard to find a solution for his family. “What if it's not enough?”
“It will all work out, you'll see.”
“How can you be so certain?”
“I'm not certain,” Aunt Elise said, fiddling with her fork again. “But I'm hopeful. And in tough situations like this, hope can go a long way.”
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16
Jade sat on Mr. Parker's red bar stool in their garage. She had told Aunt Elise she was going to spend the day exploring Wellington with Roy and went over early to try to talk him out of working for Farley. She found him elbow deep in the scattered parts of his dad's glassblowing kiln, determined to make it shine like new.
“Does your dad know you're fiddling with his oven thing?”
Roy let out a sigh. “It's a kiln, and I'm cleaning, not fiddling.” He examined the end of a blackened pipe. “We can't ask top dollar if it's all grimy. And yes, he knows I'm out here.”
“Has he agreed to sell it?”
“No, but I'm hoping he'll change his mind. It's a big part of my plan to get our family back in business. That's what will make him happy.”
“Are you sure about that?”
Roy stopped scrubbing. “Sure I'm sure.”
“Well,” Jade said, “we also have Aunt Elise's astronomy classes. I brought these flyers to take around town.”
“That's good, but it's only one piece of the puzzle. We need a lot more money and we need it faster.” He dipped the pipe into a bucket of soapy water and stifled a laugh. “I went by Farley's store this morning and there were trucks from two different cleaning companies out front. But I don't think they've found all the fish pieces because the place still looks pretty empty.”