Sixty-One Nails: Courts of the Feyre (39 page)

    "It seemed more real then. There was a clearing in a forest of evergreens. It was unnaturally cold, frost on the ground with a crystal sky. She was waiting for me in the clearing, ringed around with thorns. She said something. What was it?" I cupped my face in my hands, trying to recall her words. "She called me Little Brother. That was it. 'They told me I had dreamed you.' That's what she said. "
    "Did she say any more?"

    "She kept asking me where I was, who I was with, who I was talking to."
    "Did you tell her?"

    "No. I don't think so. She started fading, dissolving. I thought she was vanishing, but she didn't. She drifted in towards me and I was so cold."

    "She was feeding off your life-energy. "
    "She can do that?"

    "The older ones can. They can feed off the dreams of unguarded sleepers. That's how they survive. "
    "Can she do it again?"

    "Maybe. It's harder for her now you have a connection with me. That's the other reason to be mine. If you're mine then no other can have you, and you don't want to be hers."

    The memory of the dream soured my stomach and killed my appetite and I put the knife and fork down, unable to finish the plateful.
    "Are you going to eat that sausage?"
    "No, I've had enough."

    She swiped it from my plate and devoured it.

    "After all, I could be eating for two. Kidding, kidding." She laughed at my distraught expression, but underneath her laughter was an edge of mischief that said it really, truly might be true.

    "Will you know if you are pregnant?" I asked her, brushing her teasing aside.

    "After a while, of course. But I don't expect it will happen straight away, so you're quite safe really, though perhaps…"
    "What?"

    "You remember the stone Megan gave you? "
    "Yes? What happened to it?"

    "I think she thought we were together then, when you first met her. It's curious really. Do you remember it warmed when I touched you?"

    "It did until last night, when it went cold."

    "It responds to fertility. It was telling you there was the potential for life, that we are compatible. "
    "What do you mean, compatible."

    "Fey fertility is complicated. Not all the Feyre are compatible with each other and only some combinations produce children. Not always the ones you expect, either."

    "So what happened to the stone? Does that mean you're…"

    "Quite the opposite. I had to get you back from her. Once she'd got her hooks into you I'd never get you free. I made a sacrifice. The stone helped to focus it. "
    "What kind of sacrifice?"

    "The potential for one life in return for another," she stated, challenging me to criticise her decision. "You gave her a life? You sacrificed an unborn child? "
    "All sex is life, Niall. I gave her the potential for new life to distract her from you long enough get you free. Otherwise you'd still be lying up there, shivering and dying."

    "At what price?" I asked her. I was grateful that she'd freed me from that dark glade, but the price was unthinkable.

    "It wasn't a life, only the raw potential for one. I wouldn't give her a new life, even if it meant losing yours."

    I wasn't sure whether I was reassured by that or not. What had we sacrificed? What price had we paid? Did she know? I didn't know what to say. I was torn between gratitude for getting me away from that chilling embrace and the shock and revulsion at how it had been achieved.

    "Why did it have to be that? Isn't there another way? "
    "A life for a life, Niall; nothing else is strong enough. The only way was to tempt her away with something stronger, something sweeter, and I was betting she hadn't been laid in a long, long time. It looks like I was right."

    "So it wasn't a child? We hadn't, you know, conceived."

    "I told you. It's very unlikely I would be pregnant this soon, no matter what happened. If it was that easy for us to have children, there would be a lot more of us. "
    "And you're not pregnant then. Not if the sacrifice worked."

    "I only gave her the first time, Niall, to get you back. The second and third times were for me, and for us. I didn't want it to be for her alone. I want you for me. I want our child."

    There was a raw need there, coupled with a desire that scared me a little, while at the same time making my trousers too tight. It was flattering to be wanted that much, but her determination made me wonder whether it was me she wanted, or the child I could give her. Her words rang true, though, and I knew she meant them. Setting aside her desire for a child, she wanted me and was prepared to fight to keep me. And I wanted her. She was unlike any women I had ever met, and not just because she was part Fey. Her wry humour, her resourcefulness, her warmth, all had me thinking about words I hadn't used in a long time, words that had been poisoned for me by the breakdown of my marriage.

    "I want you too," I said, which was less than I could have said, but the unspoken words were still too hard, too loaded with other feelings, to let free.

    Hesitantly, she smiled, perhaps understanding.

    "I could do with a shower before we leave," she suggested as she licked the grease from her fingertips. "I didn't want to wake you, before. And then we have an appointment to keep."

    We went back up to the room together. I put our things ready on the bed while she showered and was sat waiting to go, but then she emerged clean, naked and smelling delicious and it was another three-quarters of an hour before we were both dressed again. She waited at the door to the stairs while I collected the bag and then kissed me warmly at the door. "Mine," she repeated.

    "I wish you'd stop saying that," I told her. "'Tis truth."

    She skipped lightly down, leaving me to negotiate the narrow stairway. When I reached the lounge bar she was waiting for me and talking to the landlord while he set up the pub for lunchtime opening.

    "I hope you've enjoyed your stay. As I say, we don't normally do guests."

    "Very much," Blackbird assured him. "It's a fine place you run here. I would recommend it."

    I settled our account with some of my remaining cash, thanking him for his hospitality. Then we stepped out into the breezy sunshine to walk back down the lane.

    As we came to the edge of the village, there was a payphone next to a children's playing field that I hadn't noticed in the dark. I asked Blackbird for a moment of privacy and she nodded and left me to make my call, taking herself to the middle of the field and lying on the mown grass, looking up at the clouds.

    I fed coins into the machine and then dialled Katherine's mobile number. The number rang for four or five times and then picked up.
    "Hello?" It was Katherine's voice.
    "Hi Kath, it's Niall."
    "Yes?"
    "Are you both OK?"
    "Who is this?"
    "I told you, it's Niall."

    The phone went dead and returned to the dialling tone. I kicked myself for not remembering our codephrase and re-dialled.

    "Hello?" Katherine answered more cautiously "Katherine, how is the dog? "
    "Niall, it is you. Why didn't you say?"

    "I'm sorry, I forgot. You did the right thing, though, to put the phone down."

    "We're being very cautious. We had a strange call yesterday and I've been screening them ever since. "
    "What do you mean, strange?"

    "It was on Alex's mobile. She had it with her even though it wasn't enabled for international. She knew she wouldn't be able to call anyone, but she was hoping to be able to text her friends."

    "Who called her?"

    "We don't know. It was this strange hollow voice. Alex answered it and spoke to them. She said they told her they had news of a gift she was going to receive and they wanted to bring it to her. She told them she was away on holiday, but they insisted they would bring it to her wherever she was. Niall? Are you there? "
    "Yes. I'm here." If they had found a way to reach Alex then things were worse than I thought. "Did she tell them where you were?"

    "No. She thought it was one of those competitions that are always ringing up trying to make you call expensive numbers. She just told them she didn't want anything and hung up."

    "Thank goodness for that. Did they ring back?"

    "Not so far. She's had it switched off, though, as she can't text her friends and it was just wasting the battery."

    "Don't let her switch it back on. In fact, take it off her."

    "I can't do that, Niall. It's her phone. She saved up for it."

    "Well, tell her not to turn it on until I tell her it's safe. Make her promise."

    "I can tell her, but you know what she's like. She can't be out of touch for five minutes without getting withdrawal symptoms."

    "Tell her it's important. No. Better still, I'll tell her. Put her on, would you?"

    "I will, in a moment. She wants to speak to you anyway. Are you all right?"

    I was touched by the concern in her voice. "I'm fine. Did you get away OK? No problems?"

    "What's happening, Niall? What's going on?"

    "It's complicated, but we're sorting it out. I think it will be OK. Just bear with me."

    "Niall, this better not be some sort of joke."

    "It isn't, really. You're somewhere out of the country, yes?"

    "Yes. We need to be back for Monday morning, though."

    "Not unless I call you first, to let you know it's safe, OK?"

    "I have to get her back for school, Niall. We can't stay here."

    "No. You stay where you are until I let you know it's clear. I don't care about school or anything else. Just trust me, OK?" There was silence on the other end of the line. "Katherine?"

    "OK, but you'll call me as soon as you can. You won't just leave me hanging here?"
    "As soon as it's clear. I promise."
    "Don't do anything stupid."

    Normally that admonition would have sparked a harsh come-back, but I could hear the worry in her voice. "I won't. Take care of yourselves. "
    "We will. I'll put her on now."

    There was some background noise as the phone was passed across.
    "Dad?"
    "I'm here."
    "Dad, are you all right?"
    "Yes, I'm OK. I'm fine."

    "Mum said you were in some sort of trouble."

    "It's nothing I can't handle, I just don't want you and your mum dragged into it, that's all."

    "She said someone was trying to hurt you."

    "They tried, babe, but I'm ahead of them. Listen to me, now. I want you to keep your phone switched off while you're there, OK? It doesn't work abroad, anyway. "
    "But it's working. It rang."

    "That's why you have to switch it off, sweetheart. "
    "But, Dad?"

    "Alex, please. This is important. I don't want anyone to know where you've gone until I've sorted things out and they might use the phone to find you, understand? You have to do this for me. "
    "OK, I'll switch it off."

    "Give the battery to your mum for safe keeping and then it won't switch on by mistake, OK. "
    "It won't. It doesn't do that."

    "If you give the battery to your mum, I'll buy you some credits for it when you get home. How about that?" Bribery would usually succeed where parental
    authority failed.
    "Well, OK, I suppose."
    "Thanks, babe."
    "Dad, when can we come home?"
    "Soon. I'll call you."
    "What do we do if you don't call?"

    "Your mum will know what to do, sweetheart. I'll call you. Until then, I want you to stick with your mum. She'll look after you."

    "It's not me I'm worried about." She suddenly sounded like her mother.

    "It'll be OK. I promise. Go and give your mum a hug and I'll call you in a day or so when this is all sorted out, all right?"
    "OK."
    "You take care now."
    "No. You take care."
    "I will."
    "Bye."

    I waited to see if Katherine would come back onto the line, but it beeped at me and dropped the call, leaving me looking at the phone and wishing I had some way to explain.

    I put the handset back on the cradle and the phone disgorged leftover coins into the change tray with a chunking sound. I collected them and pushed out of the phone box, walking over to where Blackbird lay looking at the clouds. I sat down beside her. "Are they safe?"

    "Yes, but they had a phone call like Claire's on Alex's phone. How did they know the number? "
    "Maybe they called directory enquiries?"

    "I made sure it's not listed. They're not supposed to give out the number."

    She rolled over so that she could lean on her elbow and look at me. "Where are they?"
    "I don't know, away somewhere."

    "That's probably best," she remarked. "They should be safe once the ceremony is performed with the proper knives again. It will reinforce the barrier and stop them crossing so easily. "
    "Will we ever be safe again?" I asked her.

    She shook her head. "Never. Better get used to it."

    It struck me how different she was from Katherine, how much more independent. But then Katherine was looking after our daughter, which rather put a dampener on the independence thing.

    Something had changed, though. Usually when I spoke with Katherine there was a bitterness from things unsaid or things that should never have been said that our separation hadn't salved. Like an open wound, it festered between us and leaked poison into my relationship with my daughter. But this morning had been different. I found myself worrying about Katherine and Alex, their safety and welfare still forward in my thoughts, but I wasn't left with the feeling that I had failed to meet even the basic standards of fatherhood. I didn't feel bitter about what she'd said, or not said. I was just worried, scared even.

    I realised I loved them both. I loved Alex, of course, she was my daughter and the centre of my world, but it was a shock to realise I still loved Katherine. I had thought all of that had been burned up in the conflagration that was our divorce. Instead I found I still cared for her and it still mattered to me that she was safe, and if possible, happy. It was like putting down a burden I hadn't realised I been carrying. Perhaps I had finally begun to heal.