Six Guns: Volume Two (4 page)

Seton stared at me for a moment. He hadn’t thought I knew that? We hadn’t discussed it yet, but I didn’t suspect him. He was a ruthless bastard, but loyalty was not something he struggled with.

“I’ll figure it out, Seton,” I assured him. “I have a lot of shit to figure out.”

Was that sympathy I saw in his eyes? If it had been there, it was gone just as quickly as it had appeared. “I have some possible prospects in mind.”

“Listen,” I told him, the paranoia creeping up on me again, “Don’t be asking the other guys about prospects.”

“I know who to trust and who not to.”

“How about cluing me in then on who it is you don’t trust?”

Seton stared at me for a few seconds.

“You’ve been around way longer than me, Seton,” I added.

“I don’t really want to be having this conversation right now. I’m fucking drunk,” Seton admitted. “And this is too heavy of a conversation for me right now. But if you want to know my deepest, darkest thoughts…” He smirked. I didn’t think this at all funny. “I honestly can’t figure this shit out. I know it seems like it has to be an insider, but when I look around me, at all the guys, after all we’ve been through, I can’t see any of them being a traitor. So there you have it, Nicky. I don’t fucking know who it is.”

“Thanks for enlightening me.” I ran my hand through my hair. Where were my cigs?

“Sorry, man. Wish I knew. I really do.”

“I’m serious about keeping the whole prospect thing between us.” I tried to give Seton a hard look, but really, his heart was as black as his soul. There was no coercing the devil himself. This is what Carmine loved about Seton. He had no qualms about killing if the task needed done. He didn’t think about it later. It was done and in the past. For myself, I could only hope that someday my sins wouldn’t creep up and suffocate me. There were only so many hours in the day that you could consume with keeping yourself
busy.
The nighttime is when your inner most thoughts become unleashed, terrorizing you with the things you’ve done. “We’ll talk more about it later.”

Seton nodded, then reached out and grabbed one of the groupies, pulling her into him as she yelped.

I pulled out a cigarette. Now where was that lighter?

“Hey, sugar.”

I looked up at Lola.

She laughed. “Need a light?”

I put the cigarette between my lips and moved closer so she could light the thing. “Thanks.”

Lola rested her hand on my arm. Every finger was covered in gaudy gold rings, some of them having two rings on them. “How are you doing, Nicky?” Lola asked, her voice turning soft—sultry even.

The women here tonight were relentless. Lola was Remmy’s
wife
for god’s sake. She walked around like queen groupie slut, though. If I was Remmy, I wouldn’t be putting up with this kind of shit. Then again, if I was Remmy, I would’ve found myself a better looking old lady, one with more class, one exactly like…

“Nicky,” Lilah said, pulling my arm away from Lola’s hold and turning my entire body to face her.

Lilah—my jealous savior. I could barely stomach Lola from far away, let alone up close. How did Remmy sleep next to that woman every night? Puke.

Lilah ran her hands across the top of my chest.

“Lilah,” Lola acknowledged her. “How are you?”

Lilah gave her her best fake sweet smile. “Nice to see you again, Lola.”

I took a hit of my cigarette and glanced around the room. People were everywhere. A giant mass of drunken grinding, booze, and smoke. Lola was still standing too close. Lilah’s arms were wrapped around my waist. It felt like the walls were starting to close in on me. All of this was too much right now.

Fuck.

I unraveled Lilah from around my body. She gave me a stunned look. “Sorry, baby. I need some air.”

“Do you want me to come?” she asked.

“I need some alone time with my thoughts.” And I was gone and out the door without looking back to see how else my words had affected Lilah.

It was a relief to find out no one else was outside except me. I sat down on the bench and stared out into the darkness as the rumble of the music continued inside. This had been the spot where I’d sat and contemplated my first kill—the one Seton had forced upon me. I killed Lilah’s husband. I killed Christopher Herson. Were the tallies only going to increase? Probably.

I scratched at my forehead. The beginning of a migraine was right under the surface. How drastically my life had changed. And now the stress was fucking me up. Chicks trying to lay their claim on me. Even Lilah acting like that was a little unnerving. Whatever suspicions she had about me and my
lifestyle,
one thing was apparent. When I was worried that telling her might drive her away, it seemed as though it was only driving her toward me, but now I was afraid it was going to turn her into one of those psycho women who always worried about who had sunk their claws into me now. She shouldn’t attend parties like these. It would only mess with her head. But I had brought her into my life, hadn’t I? There was no turning back. Normalcy was not going to happen for either one of us now, not unless she left me and didn’t turn back. Yet here she was talking about naming her dream store after me. Me. Uh, the pounding in my head raged on.

Carmine’s killer was inside that mansion. But who was it? Everything in my gut pointed to Hagan. He was a sleazeball as it was. I remembered well the jealousy and anger I saw in his eyes when it was revealed to him that I was Carmine’s son. I could see him thinking that if he got Carmine out of the way, maybe he’d be the one to take over. Or maybe it was the grudge against Carmine that he hadn’t been part of the African diamond deal. That was another instance when I saw a greedy side to Hagan. Hagan didn’t exactly like being told what to do. But was he smart enough to cover up his tracks or not even speak a word of killing Carmine to anyone? He was sort of a loud mouth, especially when drinking.

It was too much to sort out right now. I didn’t feel like being here celebrating. What the fuck was there to celebrate anyway? I didn’t want to deal with anymore shit. I didn’t want any of the guys to pull me into private conversation and ask me what my plans were. I didn’t want some groupie flirting with me and Lilah getting her panties in a bunch. All I wanted to do was be a recluse right now and even attempt to get some sleep.

Fuck it.

I stood up and reached inside my pocket for my car keys. Pressing the unlock button, the headlights came to life on my black sports car. I opened the door and climbed inside. I wasn’t going to worry about any more of this right now. I needed some ibuprofen and a bed. I would deal with it all
tomorrow.

FOUR

CROSS

I need some alone time with my thoughts…

Nicky’s words echoed in my mind as I stood there waiting, but waiting for what? For him to come back in? For him to come in and start making out with me in front of everyone so that all these dumb skanks would know he belonged to me? What was happening to me? When did I turn into such a jealous girlfriend? The moment I saw that young girl pressed into his side, that’s when. Nicky was gorgeous in a bad boy ripped tattoo sort of way that just lured these girls in. I hadn’t meant to be so…clingy, but it was hard to control my emotions when they had gone so haywire seeing another girl by his side. And then Lola…words couldn’t describe what I thought about her. She was a real piece of work, and I saw the way she looked at Nicky. There was pure lust in her eyes.

“So what’s it like being with him?” Lola asked me.

She was still freaking standing beside me smelling like she tried to drown herself in some cheap perfume that was so awful, so strong, it made my nose tickle and a sick feeling stir in my stomach. “Hmm?” I had
no
idea what the hell she was talking about.

Lola grinned, revealing the bottom portion of one of her front teeth to be discolored to a gross yellowish-brown. “You know, is he hard to tame?” She dipped her finger inside her glass of liquor and stirred.

How to answer this woman without sounding like a total bitch? She wanted Nicky. Anyone could tell—even her scrawny, poor husband over there hidden in the corner pretending like he didn’t see. I felt bad for Remmy. It almost seemed to me like maybe he was so skinny because of Lola—like maybe she ate all of her dinner, finished off all of his dinner too and didn’t leave any for him. Inconsiderate bitch.

“I can just imagine how he is in bed…a total wild man I bet. Am I right?”

I glared at her, but she didn’t seem to notice. She was too busy off in her own la-la land fantasizing about
my
boyfriend. “Probably not as wild as Remmy,” I replied dryly.

That broke Lola away from her disgusting trance. She gave me a bewildered look for a moment as if Remmy had just walked in on her and Nicky doing it. Then a small smile crossed her face. I thought she was going to start fanning herself in front of me.

I gagged a little. I was pretty sure I just threw up in my mouth. I had to get away from her.

I scanned the large, open room. Girls dressed in practically nothing were hanging all over these guys. These weren’t going to be my new BFFs. I had nothing in common with these girls. I doubted they could even hold a conversation. There was no way I could stomach being in here for another second with all of these skanks.

My heels clicked over the hard floor as I made my way to the front door. I stepped outside expecting to see Nicky there smoking a cigarette. A few girls huddled together talking turned to look at me. They looked like they were freezing. No wonder. Their asses were practically hanging out.

In further annoyance, I searched the darkness for Nicky hiding out somewhere. I thought I’d see the glow of an orange cigarette butt floating in the distance, but no. He just wasn’t here. Walking over to where his car was parked, I saw it was gone.

“Son of a bitch,” I said aloud, putting my hands on my hips. He left. He actually left. A sickening pang hit me right in the gut. I had just been ditched by Nicky Cain. I had had Victoria drop me off here, and now I was stuck.

I could call him…

No. I refused. I was not going to beg him to come pick me up when he knew damn well I didn’t have a car here. I was so pissed.

The front door of the building burst open and out came one of the Triplets. I had no idea which one. I couldn’t tell them apart. Even if I could tell them apart, I wouldn’t know what to call them as individuals.

He came walking my way, his massive arms at his sides. Even in the dark, I could see the dumbfounded look on his face as he almost ran into me, as if he hadn’t even seen me standing there. It was dark, yes, but there were lights on around the property outside.

“Sorry,” he mumbled.

“It’s okay.” I watched him dart around me and go to a car that I assumed belonged to him. I kept staring at him as he fumbled around in his pocket for the keys. Then his eyes met mine.

“I’m going to town. Need a ride?” he asked.

Why yes, it just so happens that I do.
“Can you drop me off at home—I mean Nicky’s?” I frowned at how I’d corrected myself. Nicky’s was my home.

“Yeah.” With that, he got inside the driver’s side.

I walked over the rest of the way and climbed in. It was a large, spacious sedan, yet the Triplet looked packed in like a sardine. The top of his head touched the roof, and he was all hunched over as if trying to keep his knees from running into the steering wheel.

He fired up the vehicle and maneuvered his way through the parked cars to get out of the driveway.

“So…” I said. I’d never spoken to one of the Triplets before. It was pretty obvious they were all muscle and no brain. “You know where Nicky lives?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you live around here?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you live with your brothers?”

“Yeah.”

Okay then…

So much for making conversation. I just remained facing forward looking out at the road, hoping that I hadn’t made a mistake in getting in the car with this guy, that he wasn’t trashed or anything.

Turning the corner onto Nicky’s street, the Triplet swerved as he almost hit a parked car. I grabbed hold of the handle of my door, my heart rate increasing rapidly. Then it happened again. Our vehicle almost side-swiped another parked car along the side of the road.

Was this guy drunk or even more of a moron than I’d assumed? He didn’t seem intoxicated…

And he didn’t say anything, either, as if almost hitting parked cars was something that happened every day. Probably did.

I was relieved when we finally came to a halt in Nicky’s driveway. I put my hand over my chest to try to calm the anxiety the Triplet had just given me.

“Thanks for the ride,” I told him, opening up the door.

“Yeah,” he replied in the same monotone voice he always had.

I slammed the door shut and headed to the front door. I didn’t even know if Nicky was home, but lights were glowing from within.

Stepping inside, I removed my coat and tossed it over the back of a chair. He wasn’t in the living room, so I removed my heels and began the ascent up the staircase to his room. That’s where I found Nicky face down in a pillow, passed out while still wearing all of his clothes.

“Stupid drunk,” I hissed under my breath. I didn’t care if he was passed out, I was confronting him right now. There was no way I could go to sleep with all this pent up tension inside of me. I wanted to lash out at him. I hadn’t done that before, and right now, I felt he deserved it. He couldn’t treat me like this. How dare he treat me like this! Rage filled me—rage I hadn’t felt since…Mark. “Get up, Nicky,” I said loudly.

He didn’t make a peep.

I tried to turn him over on his back. Geez, he was heavy. I managed to get him up on his side, but his eyes were still closed. I could smell the liquor on his breath. What’d he do? Come back home and suck down a bottle of whiskey?

“Nicky…” I shook him harder.

He groaned, but his eyelids never even fluttered.

My frustration growing, I pulled back my hand and slapped him across the face. Red marks where my fingers had grazed his cheek formed on his skin, but again, Nicky didn’t budge. He probably couldn’t even feel his face.

I jumped off the bed and stomped into the bathroom. I turned the water on cold and let it run for a few minutes before filling a cup to the brim. It was dripping all over the place as I angrily carried it over to Nicky, and without even second-thinking it, I threw the entire cup of water on his face. Then a high-pitched squeal left my throat as Nicky came to life, fiercely grabbed hold of my wrists, and flipped me onto my back. He stared down at me, his face and hair dripping down onto me, a fire lit in his dark eyes as though he were about to strangle me.

“What the fuck?” he managed to get out, his grip tightening on my wrists.

I struggled underneath him. “Get off me, Nicky!”

As if suddenly recognizing me, he loosened his hold and then let go altogether. He gritted his teeth as he wiped his face with the sleeve of his shirt. “You poured water on me?”

I sat up and hurried to move away from the huge wet spot on the bed. “Yeah, Nicky, I did.”

“Why would you do that?” Even though his voice was controlled, his eyes looked murderous. I hadn’t expected him to jump up and attack me like that.

“You wouldn’t wake up.”

“What is so goddamn important that I wake up?” He ran his fingers through his brown hair, slicking it back. He was still hammered—and savagely beautiful, looking like a wild beast ready to pounce.

My bottom lip trembled as I watched him pace about the room trying to calm himself, trying not to lose his shit on me. I probably deserved it. I shouldn’t have thrown cold water in his face. Was I afraid of Nicky Cain? “You…left me.”

“What?” He stopped pacing to turn and look at me. Then he ripped up the bottom of his soaked shirt and lifted it up over his head and tossed it on the floor at his feet. He was standing there with wet hair and a cut chest that I just could not take my eyes from. He’d been working out a lot lately, and it was definitely paying off.

“At Carmine’s…” I hesitated, watching him, my eyes still wanting to zoom in on those abs. “You ditched me, Nicky. I had to get a ride with one of the Triplets.”

“Fuck,” he hissed out. Then he started pacing again. “You just woke me up so you could bitch me out?”

I could feel the tears stinging in my eyes, threatening to fall. He’d never spoken to me like this before. “You left me,” I reiterated again, trying to emphasize my point.

Nicky took a few steps toward me. He leaned down on the bed, his face very close to mine, his dark eyes piercing right through me as if he could sense my fear. “What do you want me to say, Lilah? You want an apology? Would that make you feel better?”

I swallowed, trying to suck it up and face him without cowering. I would never cower to another man,
ever.
“I want to know why you did it.”

Hot air expelled from his nostrils and onto my face. He put both of his hands on the bed, his arms on either side of me, trapping me in. “Are you sure you’re ready for this discussion?”

“I…”

“Think long and hard, Lilah. Once you know the details, there’s no going back to your little bubble.”

“I’m not in a bubble.” I swallowed again—hard.

His eyes never left mine. “You are. A denial bubble. Everyone else around you knows. Do you want me to tell you?”

I didn’t reply.

“Do you?” he asked, more sharply this time, leaning in so that I had to lay down flat against the bed.

I didn’t dare push him away. He had this fierceness about him, this look in his eye that drew me in. He was ready to talk to me, and though I’d just forced him into it, I wasn’t entirely sure I was ready to listen. I knew in my heart what it was already. Nicky was head of the mob, but how? I wasn’t sure of the details. I’d tried to keep myself preoccupied, not wanting to believe the obvious. He was right. I was in denial. “Yes,” I finally said.

“I’m the fucking mob boss.”

I closed my eyes. He’d said the words. I knew I heard them, but I wanted so much to block them out.

“You were right all this time, Lilah. I am part of a mob. There are things I do that I don’t want to do—ugly, unspeakable things that keep me up at night. I know it’s only the beginning of these things. There will be more. And you know what scares me even more than the fact that there’ll be more?” He paused to touch his nose to mine. “I’ll tell you. The fact that someday I’ll wake up and be numb to those ugly things, that I’ll be able to do them and not care. I know that day’s in my future, Lilah. I’m a criminal and a hero all in the same sense. People hate me and yet look up to me. How fucked up is that?”

I opened my eyes again. He was still there staring down at me, breathing hot, liquored-up breath down upon me. I wanted so much to cover my ears and not listen, but I needed to hear this. I needed to hear the words come from his mouth.

“Want to know how I became mob boss?”

I didn’t reply again.

“Shake your head yes if you do.”

Against my will, my head was nodding forward. I was in shock. Oh god, the shock as I continued to be pinned down by Nicky Cain.

“Carmine was my father.”

I gasped. What? Carmine’s
son?

A small smirk crossed over Nicky’s lips then. “I know. Crazy, huh? Remmy was the one to break it to me. I didn’t know, but Carmine did all this time. He had plans for me. I guess his plans didn’t include getting killed and having me find out this way. I have no experience, Lilah. I have no fucking clue what I’m doing. I’m in way over my head, and I’m forced into this now. I’ve
inherited
this shit. So now I have to deal with everything that comes with my title. You have
no
idea what I’m going through. I have to go to Carmine’s. The guys pull me aside and ask me questions. They expect answers from me, and they don’t give me any time to think. They want to know now. I have to make decisions quickly. What if it’s the wrong choice? How will that affect the empire?”