Rebecca, who has been piling blocks into a tower, suddenly stops what she's doing and comes to sit beside me.
“Are you sad, âNet?” she asks.
I nod and look down at her.
“Me too,” she says quietly and pops a thumb into her mouth.
“How come you're sad?” I ask her. I doubt she even knew who Colleen was.
“I miss Taviana.”
I nod. This makes sense. She would have been part of the good-bye crowd this morning. All the children loved her.
Taviana. Where is she right now? And where will she sleep tonight? I pull Rebecca into my lap and hug her to me.
“I miss her too,” I say, and I realize, despite myself, that it's true.
We sit quietly, watching the babies explore the living room and listening to the sniffling coming from the women in the kitchen.
Chapter Nine
M
y hands are wet and dirty with potato peeling, so I use the sleeve of my dress to wipe my nose. Colleen has died. Sweet pretty Colleen. Why would God take someone so pure instead of a horrible disobedient person like me? I rinse my hands and dry them on a dishtowel, and then I reach into my pocket and pull out the hanky I find there. With a shock I discover it's Jon's. I shove it back in and a fresh wave of remorse floods over me as I remember how I spent the day while Colleen fought for her life, and lost.
I HADN'T MOVED
off my bed until I heard the crunch of tires on the driveway this morning. I couldn't believe Daddy was actually taking Taviana away. How could he do that to someone who had given so much of herself to our family?
The sadness that had weighed me down all night changed into a burning anger. Jacob should never have brought Taviana to our community if we weren't able to keep her. The Prophet should have spoken up a year and a half ago, before we'd taken her in, before we began loving her. And Daddy. How could he simply drive a family member into town and dump her there, like a stray cat, knowing that, unlike a cat, she couldn't possibly make it on her own?
In the bathroom, I washed my face with cold water and rebraided my hair. I straightened my shoulders, walked out of the bathroom and descended the stairs as calmly as I could.
Daddy's wives were each busy with chores so no one paid any attention to me. I picked up a basket of soggy laundry and pushed my way through the door. Leaving the basket on the step, I headed toward the garden and carried right on out through the back gate.
There was one last thing I could do for Taviana. She'd hoped to talk to Jon herself, but Daddy didn't allow her any time so I was going to do it for her. I told her I'd do it, and I wouldn't let her down.
I reached the road and found it deserted. As I passed the Nielsson compound, I saw Jon pounding nails into fencing just outside the barn. Relief flooded through me. I don't know what I would have done if he hadn't been there. I only glanced at him briefly, but our eyes met and I knew he'd see me heading toward the river, alone. I hoped he understood what that meant.
Slipping into the shadowy hidden area that we'd sat in just the night before, I crouched down and leaned back against a tree. I thought it might take a while before Jon could slip away from his work to join me, but I didn't care. I had to pass on the message.
From my hiding place, I had a partial view of the inuksuk, as Taviana called them. Seeing them helped calm me. The erect statues continued to stand guard, watching the river flow past. I wondered what the boy would think when he saw the two new additions to the family. I smiled, just thinking of what my reaction would have been. If we kept this up, the entire river would someday be watched over by these rock men.
I sensed Jon's presence before I saw him. He was standing behind me, looking down. “What are you smiling about?” he asked.
“Oh, just those statues.” I shook my head and waved in their direction, embarrassed at being caught this way. “There's...there's just something about them that pleases me.”
Jon nodded. “I know what you mean.” He offered me a hand and pulled me to my feet. When I was up, he continued to hold my hand, but I pulled it away, nervous. We didn't have the protection of dusk to hide us today.
“I didn't expect to see you again so soon,” he said, ignoring my gesture.
“No, I guess you didn't.” I tried to smile but it felt awkward. The comfort level we'd achieved between us the night before had evaporated, and I was suddenly shy. I decided to get right to the reason for my being there.
“Jon...”
“Yes?” He tipped his head and looked hard at me.
“Taviana is gone.”
“Gone?”
“Yes. The Prophet ordered her out of Unity,” I told him.
“Why?”
“Apparently the police came looking for her last night, when we were here.” I blushed, thinking of how the evening had ended. “He thinks that she draws unwelcome attention to our community.”
“It's taken him until now to decide that?”
I could only shrug.
“So what will happen to her?”
I sighed. “Father drove her to Springdale this morning. He's just going to leave her there, to fend for herself.” My voice was shaky, and then I felt my eyes filling with tears again. I covered my face with my hands, hoping to make them go away, but the next thing I knew, Jon had his arms around me and I melted into him, sobbing into his shoulder. He held me tight. When the tears were finally finished and my ragged breathing had returned to normal, we continued standing there, wrapped in each other's arms, rocking gently from side to side. The pain had subsided, for the moment. I finally dragged myself away from him and wiped my cheeks. “Sorry about that,” I said.
“Don't be sorry.” He pulled a handkerchief out of his back pocket and handed it to me. “It's clean,” he said, smiling.
I scrubbed at my cheeks again and blew my nose. “Not anymore,” I told him. I shoved it into a pocket of my apron. “I'll return it after it's been washed.”
“So...” he asked. “What are we going to do about Taviana?”
His question startled me. What are
we
going to do? Not only did he understand that something had to be done, but he was offering to help me. I lunged forward and hugged him, hard, all shyness gone.
“Whoa!” he said as I released him. “What was that for?”
“For saying just the right thing.”
“What did I say?”
“You offered to help do something for Taviana.”
“Oh, that's it? If I say it again...”
“No.” I punched him lightly on the arm. He laughed.
“Taviana wanted to come and talk to you herself this morning,” I told him, “but she wasn't given any time. She says you know people in Springdale who might be able to help her.”
Jon nodded. “I know some guys who have left Unity. I don't know exactly what they could do for her, but...”
“I just keep picturing her sleeping...I don't know where. Under a tree? In a doorway?”
“No, we can't let that happen.” He thought for a moment. “The problem is I don't know when the guys will be coming by for another visit. It could be tonight or it could be two weeks from now.”
“Two weeks?”
Jon frowned. “I do have a telephone number for Jimmy. He gave it to me for the time when...” He didn't finish the sentence, but I knew what he was going to say. For the time when he left Unity.
“But what good is a number without a telephone?”
“I could walk to the highway and hitchhike to the nearest house and knock on doors until I find someone who will let me use their phone.”
“When would you do this?”
“Today.” He looked surprised that I'd asked. “A little later. Jimmy will be at work right now.”
“But won't you get into trouble?”
He shrugged. “I can live with the consequences.”
“What will those consequences be?” I didn't want him to get punished for helping me.
“Don't worry about it, Celeste,” he said quietly. “Like I said last night, I'm not happy in Unity anyway. The best thing they could do is kick me out of the house.”
I looked away so he couldn't see how I felt about that, but he must have figured it out anyway. “I really think you should consider your options too,” he said.
“I told you last night. I don't have any options.”
“I think you should think harder about that.”
I shook my head.
We stood quietly for a moment. I knew I should go home, but I couldn't drag myself away. Who knew when I'd see him again.
Eventually Jon reached out and took my hand. He clasped it in both of his. Then he looked directly into my face.
“You look so sad, Celeste. Why don't we build a couple more statue people, just for fun.”
“Someone might see us.”
“No one comes down here.”
“But what if...”
He put a finger to my lips. “Shh. This is your life, Celeste. Sometimes you can do things just for you. Just for fun.”
“But...”
“No buts. C'mon.” He dragged me toward the statues. I resisted, but he was stronger and I found myself stumbling along behind him. I glanced over my shoulder, back toward the community, but a row of trees hid the beach from the road. By the time we reached the statues I was laughing. He laughed too.
“I'm going to make a lady statue this time,” I told him.
He nodded. “Good idea. These guys could use a wife or two.”
“Are you kidding? This wife is going to have a whole bunch of husbands.”
Jon laughed so hard he had to wipe tears from his eyes. “Now you're thinking outside the box.”
“Outside the box?”
He smiled. “It's a saying I heard once. It means thinking creatively.”
“Oh.” Outside the box. I liked that. I would use it on Taviana and surprise her. And then I remembered Taviana was gone. There would be no more stories, no more funny expressions.
“So, how are you going to make this lady, the one who has many husbands?” Jon asked.
“You just watch.”
He let go of my hand and I began combing the beach, looking for a large, triangle-shaped rock. I looked back and saw that Jon had already found two blocky stones for legs. I kept searching. Eventually I saw exactly what I needed, but when I tried to pick it up, I realized it was way too heavy for me to carry alone. “Will you give me a hand?” I called.
He came over, and together we lifted the rock, but when we tried to carry it across the beach, I found that I was tripping over my dress. “I guess I'll have to make her right here,” I told him, placing my end down.
“Why?”
“My dress...it gets in the way. I'll end up ripping it.”
“Think outside the box, Celeste.”
“Huh?”
“Like you did the other day, when I was watching you.”
I felt my face burn. “How long were you watching?”
“Long enough.”
It was one thing for him to have seen my legs from a long distance away, but quite another for me to hitch my dress up right there in front of him. “No, I can't do that.”
“I won't look, I promise.”
I laughed at his silly remark.
“Okay then,” he said, “I'll only look at you from the waist up.”
“You're embarrassing me.”
“Oh, c'mon, Celeste. They're just ankles, and maybe knees. What's so private about that?”
I thought about it. He was right. It was really only my ankles that would show. Before I could change my mind I bent over, grabbed my hem and tucked it into the sash of my apron. I glanced at Jon. He was staring at my saggy-stocking-covered ankles. I smacked his arm. “You said you wouldn't look!”
“I lied,” he said, grinning. Then he bent over and lifted his side of the large stone. I just shook my head, picked up my side, and together we carried it over to where the family of statues was waiting.
“Thanks,” I said, and I tipped the stone so that one of the corners pointed to the sky. I then balanced another rock on the point. It took a moment to find the right angle and make it secure, but I did. The arms, neck and head followed. I stepped back to admire my creation. She was perfect. The triangular stone looked just like a skirt.
I looked toward Jon. He was standing there, watching me. I quickly pulled my dress back down and straightened it. When I looked up again, he was smiling. “Now that wasn't so terrible, was it?” he asked.
I just shook my head, smiling. Together we moved back on the beach so we could view the whole scene from a distance. The boy would be very surprised when he next visited this part of the beach.
Jon took my hand and we walked back to the sheltered area under the trees. “Will you think about what I said, Celeste?” he asked.
“About thinking out of the box?”
“Exactly. Consider your options.”
I nodded. “Okay.”
Then I let Jon kiss me. I even kissed him back, surprised at how natural it felt. Our arms were around each other, and as his soft lips explored mine, my worries slipped completely away. I was only aware of the intense sensations that were swirling inside me. It wasn't until my stomach growled that I realized how much time had passed.
“I better go,” I said, breaking off the kiss, but still holding him close.
“Yeah, me too,” he said. He stepped back so he was looking down at me. “One way or another, I'll make that phone call today. I know Jimmy will do whatever he can to help. He knows a lot of people.”
“Thanks, Jon.”
His lips brushed mine once more, and then I left him and headed toward the road. He'd follow a few minutes later.
My mind whirled all the way home, and I felt... different. I hadn't known how good a kiss could feel. I would have skipped home if it wouldn't have drawn unwanted attention my way.
And then I heard the news, the news about Colleen, and my world came crashing down.