Sister Girls 2 (14 page)

A part of Faith wanted to stay and discuss their marriage. After all, it was the only thing occupying her mind but she refused to do it on his time, when his schedule allowed.

“I needed time to think about how to make you stay with me.”

She couldn't believe he said that to her. What the hell was that about? Why was he fronting, acting like their marriage mattered now?

 

 

Faith grabbed her purse from beside the couch and headed out the door.
You know what, I'm going out and hang with the girls. I deserve it, as much as I want to stay here, I'm not. I'll show his ass that I have a life too.

When Faith arrived at Lisa's house, she noticed the door was wide open. She stood there trying to decide if she should just walk in or ring the doorbell.

She didn't have to make the decision herself, someone was walking by and noticed her standing there looking unsure. “Come on in.”

She did.

“There are people in the kitchen and downstairs.”

Faith allowed the sound of conversation to lead her into the kitchen, where a few women were laying out food.

Faith looked down at her hands. Damn
,
on her way there she was so upset from the confrontation—or should she say argument—with Raheem that she forgot to bring anything.

She was about to turn around and leave when one of the women she recognized from the meeting rooms looked up. “Faith? What's up, girl, didn't you just walk in? Where are you going?”

“Oh, um, I was about to run back out and pick up something to contribute to the party.”

“Why would you leave to do that?”

“Because I didn't bring anything and I didn't want to come empty-handed.”

“Girl, get your ass in here. It ain't even that serious. Shit, after all you've done for us, you think we're going to be upset that you came empty-handed? We appreciate you, so you get a pass.”

Her compliment made Faith feel a little better. “I do what I do from the heart.”

“We know you do.”

What they were talking about is that Faith often paid for the coffee and refreshments they had at the NA meetings. When there was someone in a dire situation, she would go in her pocket and assist financially. She didn't do it for props or recognition. She did it because she could and she did it because she remembered how when she was emotionally broken down, the women “in the room” helped put her back together.

“Where is everyone else?” Faith asked, she could hear the music playing and loud laughter.

“They're downstairs.”

Faith was headed toward the stairs, when she heard Susan's voice. She turned around and saw Susan come in with two bags and her cell phone between her ear and shoulder.

“I'm just getting in the door, I'll call you back.” She looked around, spotted Faith, and smiled. “Where should I put this?” she asked no one in particular.

“On the table.”

“Wherever you find a spot.”

Faith walked over to her and took one of the bags. “I'll help you.”

“Thanks,” Susan said as she released the bag and caught the cell phone before it fell on the floor.

“You see, this is why I need to go ahead and purchase headphones.”

After meets, greets, and hugs, Susan pulled a couple of bottles of sparkling apple cider, Perrier waters, and a fruit salad out of the bags. She and Faith placed everything on the table and in the coolers that were on the floor before going downstairs.

Once they were downstairs, Faith noticed that everything was in full swing. People were playing backgammon, chess, and spades. She also noticed a handful of men.

Faith looked at Susan. “I thought this was supposed to be women only.”

“I didn't hear that. All Lisa said is she was having a get-together.”

Faith frowned; right now she was upset with men and didn't want to exert the extra energy by playing nice.

As they walked across the room, Susan took a good look at Faith. “Are you okay?”

“As well as can be expected, considering me and Raheem got into it before I came here.”

“Does it matter that there are men here?”

It really didn't, it's just that Faith thought the women were going to be free to sit around and talk about whatever they wanted to without having to censor their words.

“Nah, you have to excuse me, I'm just tripping, I know I can't take my disgust with Raheem out on all men. I'm just carrying some baggage right now.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” Susan asked.

It took everything in Faith's power to keep her mouth shut. She wanted to run down the list of things that weren't right. She wanted to be reassured that leaving Raheem was in her best interest.

“Now's not the time.”

Of course, Susan couldn't let it go at that. “What's going on?”

“I don't want to talk about it here.”

Susan stopped in the middle of the floor. “Well, we are going to talk before this night is over.”

Faith just let it go, because she knew if Susan said they were going to talk, then that's just what was going to happen.

“Come on, let's go mingle.” Susan took Faith by the hand and pulled her toward the hostess. “Lisa, I see you've outdone yourself once again.”

Before she knew it, two hours had passed and Faith found herself having a good time. Worn out from her busy day and from mingling, Faith found a seat in the corner near the pool table and sat down.

“Why are you over here by yourself?”

Faith looked up to find one of the most attractive men she'd seen in a long time standing in front of her. “Just minding my business.” She didn't mean to be bitchy, it just slipped out.

“My, my, we're in a nasty mood, aren't we?”

Faith apologized. “I'm sorry, I'm just tired and I've had a rough day.”

“Why don't you just leave?”

“Because my husband is home and I don't want to be there with him.” Those words came out of Faith's mouth before she could stop them.

“So, you're having problems at home?”

Feeling uncomfortable with what she revealed, Faith told him, “Forget I just said that and let me introduce myself. I'm Faith.”

The man raised his eyebrow. “Faith, a beautiful name for a beautiful person. I'm Siddiq. I'm Lisa's big brother.”

Faith put her hand out for him shake. “Pleased to meet you, Siddiq.”

Instead of shaking her hand, he leaned over and kissed it.

How corny,
Faith thought,
but how charming.

“Do you know Lisa from the rooms?” he asked her.

Did Faith want him to know she was an addict? Did it really matter? After all, she probably wasn't going to ever see him again after tonight. “Yes.”

Siddiq pulled up a chair and sat in front of Faith. “How long have you been clean?”

“You're asking a personal question for us to just have met.”

“Well, I thought we were past small talk, especially since you told me why you don't want to go home,” he half-joked.

What could Faith say other than he was right about that. “For a few years.”

“Good for you, I've been clean for eight,” he revealed.

This revelation made Faith look at him with more intensity. Was this his way of letting her know it would be okay to open up to him? Hopefully, it wasn't just a come-on line.

Faith eyed him up and down.

He took notice. “Make sure you get it all in,” he teased.

There was something about him that just pulled her in. You see, this is the shit that used to get her into trouble with men. She'd jump into things and see the possibilities way too fast.

Faith stood up. “I have to go.”

Siddiq held onto her arm. “Why? We were just getting to know one another.”

“I'm married.”

“I know, you already told me.”

“Then why would you want to get to know me?” She looked at his hand, which was still on her arm.

“I was just trying to make conversation.” He dropped his hand.

“Well . . .” Faith saw Susan coming her way and gave her a “help me” look.

Susan walked over and grabbed Faith by the arm. “Faith, I've been looking all over for you. Come on.” Susan pulled Faith along but not before acknowledging Siddiq.

When they were out of Siddiq's earshot, Susan asked, “Was Siddiq bothering you?”

“You know him?”

“Girl, please, anyone that's around Lisa knows her brother, she adores him. She talks about him all the time.”

“I see why,” Faith said under her breath.

Susan stopped in place and teased, “Oh, do you? What exactly does that mean?”

“Nothing.”

“Come on, let's go outside near the pool and talk.”

As they walked through the house, Faith snuck glances at original pieces of art, very expensive knickknacks, and high-priced technical gadgets throughout. “I didn't know Lisa had money,” Faith observed.

“No, her brother does, this is his house.”

Faith felt like a fool. “I'm embarrassed.”

“Why?”

“I was rude to the host.”

Susan waved that comment away. “Don't even worry about that. Let's talk about what's really bothering you. But first let me call Timothy.”

When Susan hung up with Timothy she asked Faith, “What's up?”

“I envy what you have.”

“What could you possibly envy that I have?”

“A happy marriage.”

Now Susan understood why Faith seemed preoccupied. “You've finally decided to admit it, huh?”

Faith frowned. “Admit what?”

“That your marriage is in trouble.”

They sat near the pool. “How long have you known?”

“How long have you been coming to the meetings?”

Faith didn't know what to say to that. It's not that she tried to keep the state of her marriage a secret, she just didn't go around advertising that her husband cheated on her every chance he got and that she allowed it because she felt unworthy. It really wasn't anyone's business. Some things she didn't mind sharing with people but this was one topic she did.

Why? Because she knew people would tell her to leave him and if there was one thing she couldn't stand, that was when she gave advice or told a person something they already knew over and over only for them have it go in one ear and out the other.

This is why when she counseled people, she guided them into seeing the solution. She let them think the next step was their idea. Well, that's what she tried to do.

“Are people talking about it?” If people knew her marriage was failing, surely they were discussing it amongst themselves.

“Now don't you think that the people who come to NA and AA meetings have bigger concerns than you and your marriage? I only recognized it because I'm your friend.”

“Well, how come you never asked me anything?”

“I figured you would talk to me about it when you were ready.”

Faith appreciated that because now she was ready and she was going to need as much support as possible. “I'm leaving him.”

This surprised Susan, because even though she knew things weren't what they should be in Faith's house, she didn't think it was that bad, either. “Have you tried counseling?”

“We're way past that.”

“What's going on?”

Faith went on to tell Susan about Raheem's numerous affairs and how she just wasn't willing to take it anymore.

“Why did you stay in the marriage so long anyway?”

“He saved me from myself.”

“And you sacrificed your dignity because of that?”

“He took care of me, he was my hero, he helped me get clean, and I love him.”

Susan leaned over and looked in Faith's eyes.

Faith shifted in her seat. “What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

“You said you love him.”

“No, I didn't.”

“Yes, Faith, you did.”

“Well, I still care for him. I always will but I'm not in love with him anymore.”

“Do you think couples stay in love?” Susan asked.

“Yes, I do. Aren't you and Timothy still in love?”

Susan leaned back in her seat. “I don't know. I think what we have is a mature love. Before you make any rash decisions, you really need to ask yourself and be sure that you're not operating off of hurt. Maybe you do still love Raheem. Maybe that's why you've put up with so much and maybe that's why you're so unhappy. If you didn't have any feelings left for him, you wouldn't care what he did. It wouldn't affect you this deeply.”