Sirenz (22 page)

“What am I doing here!” he growled, trying to crane his neck and look around. “You fat, stupid vultures! You'll pay for this! I deal with powers that you'll never understand. I'll make sure you'll rot in the lowest corner of the Underworld!” Spit flew from his mouth and landed on my wing.

I'd felt pity for
this
? No one calls me fat! Or stupid! Or a vulture!

He wriggled like a maggot, trying to get off. I held his arms down while Meg knocked him flat.

“
Dosvedanya
, loser! Caw!” We shoved the drawer in and slammed the door shut together.

Some Sales Are Not Final

We stood panting in front of the body drawer. The mist that had been flowing out of it started to dissipate with a soft hiss. I was dimly aware of banging on the other side of the door to the room. It had been continuous since I'd shut it behind me.

“How are we going to get out of here?” I finally managed.

“Meg! You got your voice back! You're you!”

I glanced down. My sweats hung in tatters about me, but I saw my legs. I ran a trembling hand through my hair. It
was
hair! Still not believing it, I craned to see my reflection in the shiny surface of a metal door. I was me again!

I ran over to Shar and grabbed her by the elbows. Her pert nose, sans the orange tint, was back, along with her elegant fingers. We were both plainly human.

“We did it! We did it!” I shouted.

Shar's exhausted expression immediately transformed into excited happiness, and every feature on her face lit up as she squealed.

“We're free! We're done!” We jumped around in a circle, holding each other and ignoring everything else. Then a muffled voice came through the door.

“Open up, this is the coroner! We've called the police!”

“Oh my God.” Shar stopped jumping and looked around. We were in a cement room, with one wall of corpse
cells—some likely occupied—and no windows. There was only one way in or out.

“We're trapped,” I said.

Suddenly, the door of the body drawer closest to us rattled and shook. Then, with a screech, it fell off its hinges. The opening grew larger, and the banging on the door to the room stopped. It was absolutely silent.

Hades strolled out of the portal. “Ladies, I believe it's time to leave.”

“Time to leave?” I choked out the words as I backed away, pulling Shar with me.

“Come with me. To Tartarus. Now.” He pointed to the portal. I could see a set of rocky stairs leading down.

“Arkady went in!” protested Shar. “We delivered him!
We made your deadline. In fact, we're early!”

“True, but not by much. And it seems that you had a little help. You two were supposed to do this alone.” He flicked a han
d carelessly.

My skin went cold.

“As I recall,” Shar said, her voice shaking, “we were the ones who slammed the door on Arkady. Poor Meg had to chase everyone away so I could get him in here. This was all Meg and me. No one else.”

“Oh, I beg to differ.” We turned and there was Demeter, sitting on top of the shiny metal table I'd shoved against the door of the room. She crossed her legs; her rubber rain boots, which matched her spring-green mac, dangled over the floor. “Much as I hate to admit it, I believe my son-in-law is right. There is no way that you two could have accomplished this alone. If Persephone hadn't placed you in Arkady's apartment, you never would have succeeded.”

I could feel the color rising in my face. How did she know Persephone had helped us?

“Let's put this into simple terms even you two can understand.” Hades spoke softly, casually leaning against the frame of the portal. “You had help. You cheated. What happens when you cheat in school? You fail. We live by the same rules. Demeter and I differ on some things … ” he said with a twisted lip. Demeter gave an equally cringe-inducing glare. Then he continued, in an almost-brotherly
I-caught-you-doing-something-you-shouldn't-have
tone, with wide eyes and pouty lips, “But we all know that cheating is wrong.”

“Cheaters never win,” Demeter mocked, wagging a finger at us. Then she turned to Hades. “And weren't they supposed to keep mum about their assignment?”

“Why, yes, that's true!” Hades looked dramatically horrified. “They didn't speak with you about the arrange
ment … Did they?”

Demeter sighed. “I'm afraid they did, and I suspect they may have discussed it with Persephone as well. Why else would my dear, sweet, daughter involve herself with mortals?”

“You knew about it already!” Shar shouted angrily, pointing a finger at Demeter. “You mentioned it first! And Persephone chased
me
down to discuss Hades!”

Hades turned to us in mock pain. “I trusted you,” he cried. “First cheating, and now this violation! You must leave with me now.” His face hardened. “And even if the goddesses did know, you still had a nondisclosure clause, remember?”

“Next time,” Demeter said, sliding off the table and strolling up to us, “don't try to get the last word with a goddess.”

Hades sidled up to Shar, took her hand, and kissed it. “You should have taken the last deal I offered you,
ma ch
é
rie.
One night, that's all I wanted. You would have been well compensated, and you would have been free. But now, I have you anyway, and you've doomed poor Margaret too. Not a very good friend, are you?”

I moved quickly to Shar's other side, the angel to Hades' devil. “Don't listen to him, Shar! You'd have sacrificed yourself for nothing.”

Hades turned his saturnine glance to me.

“Perhaps you'd like to make me an offer? I promise you it would be the most memorable pleasure of your pathetic life.”

“No thanks.” I showed him both palms, and turned my face away.

“Just thought I'd try. You might have been amusing. For a while.” He sighed, sounding pleased with himself. “Very well. If that's all cleared up—”

“Wait!” Shar quipped. “If we failed at our mission, how come we're not birds anymore? We did it and you know it! You have to let us go!”

“I'm not saying that you didn't complete the mission. I'm saying that you cheated and violated the terms of the contract.”

“And therefore,” Demeter added, “you lose.”

“Mother!” A muffled voice suddenly came from within another body drawer. “Mother!”

Demeter paled.

“Mother, you open this door!”

A great bang, and the door flew off its hinges and hit the wall. Persephone, wearing a glittering lam
é
halter and silver skin-tight pants, climbed out.

“Persephone, darling!” Demeter looked horrified. She glanced furtively at the ceiling, as if expecting something to come out of it, and laughed nervously. “What are you doing here? You have to leave
now
!” She rushed over and grabbed Persephone by the arm.

“Mother.” Persephone glared at Demeter and pulled free. “You know exactly what I'm doing here. All of Tartarus is getting ready to welcome the newest Sirens home.” She turned to Hades. “And, dearest, the room next to yours is being redecorated. In
pink
? You know I
abhor
pink!”

Hades raised both his hands as if he had nothing to do with it. “Come on, baby, why would I want to associate with … that?” He glanced at Shar, who looked completely indignant. Persephone whirled around and faced Shar, who prudently stepped behind me.

“How did you screw this up?” Her tone was icy.

I pointed a finger at Demeter and Hades. “Ask them! He's saying we cheated because you helped us, and your mother agrees!”

“What?!” Persephone turned on Demeter. “Mu-ther!”

“Enough!” came a clear female voice from above.

“Wonderful, darling,” Demeter grabbed Persephone's arm again and pulled her to her side. “See what you've done? You've broken the rules and gotten Hera's attention! Hopefully Zeus won't come with her.”

Persephone shot her mother an evil look. “
I
broke the rules?” was all she was able to say before a statuesque woman, dressed in a gown made entirely of peacock feathers, passed through the concrete wall. She floated a few inches above the floor, her long, honey-colored hair flowing past her waist. She cast a furious glance at Hades.

“Hera, you can't interfere in my contracts,” he said through clenched teeth.

“Hera! Queen of the Gods!” I whispered to Shar. “We're saved!”

“Maybe,” she muttered doubtfully. I didn't blame her for being suspicious.

“Do you
think
I want to be
here
?” Hera looked at the rows of refrigerator doors and admired her reflection in one of them. Then she snapped her fingers, and all of us stood in a magnificent hall of white marble that gleamed in the sun.

“Is this heaven?” Shar murmured in a wistful tone, turning around and around.

“This is a vision of what your kind expects of Mt. Olympus,” Hera said, bored. “Rare is the mortal who actually sees it.”

“Why are we here? I have business to conduct.” Hades' voice had risen a couple of decibels, and he looked meaningfully at us. We huddled closer and even though it was utterly pointless, shuffled away from him.

“Do not shout, brother-in-law!” Hera snapped. “You forget yourself. I suggest you speak with a lower volume and more respect if you don't want Zeus here. He won't be as willing to overlook your boorishness! Not to mention this last bit of knavery.”

Demeter raised her hand and shook her head, trying to catch Hera's attention.

“Oh no, Demeter,” said Hera. “It's not like you're innocent. This foolishness has gone on for long enough. Really, one would think the two of you had better things to do than torment mortals with your silly games.”

“Games?” I dared to interject.

“Or should I say, wagers?” Hera shook her head, making her amber tendrils fly about her like she was floating in water.

Hades groaned while Demeter shifted her eyes from side to side.

Persephone looked confused. “Mother, what are they talking about?”

“Yeah,” Shar broke in. “Someone explain this to us. What wager?”

Hades put on the same smile that he wore when we'd first met him in the subway. “You know the story. My lovely Persephone—” He walked over to her and kissed her hand. She gave him a pouty but suggestive look that I wished I hadn't seen. “Persephone stays with me for six months out of the year, and with her mother”—he wrinkled his nose—“for the other six. But when the season is about to change, sometimes the lines get blurred. It always happens at the beginning of February.”

“You mean, like Groundhog Day?” Shar asked. “The six-more-weeks-of-winter thing?”

“Exactly,” said Demeter. “And rather than argue about it, we made …” She hesitated.

“Go on,” urged Hera.

“We made a bet.” Demeter straightened herself and tried not to look guilty. “Hades had a contract he was going to call in, so he
proposed—”

“I didn't propose anything!” Hades protested, and looked as innocently as he could at Persephone. A performance worthy of an Oscar.

“You did!” Demeter argued. “It was you—”

“I don't care who started it!” Hera thundered.

“All right, all right.” Demeter cowered. “We made a bet where we agreed that the Sirens would go and collect on the contract—”

“Which I didn't want, because I knew they would screw it up,” Hades interrupted. “And I was right. They delivered Arkady to me damaged.” Hera shot him a look and he shut
up.

Demeter continued. “We agreed that if the Sirens completed their mission, Persephone would stay with Hades for the additional six weeks, but if they failed, Persephone would come to me.”

“And?” Hera prompted.

“And I got to choose the Sirens. I also stipulated that I be near Arkady to make sure Hades didn't cheat.” She pointed angrily at him.

I looked at the goddess. “You chose us? Specifically?” I asked.

“Of course.” Demeter waved a dismissive hand at us. “It seemed so obvious. I thought you two would never be able to work together to get this done. And you're not exactly smart. I still can't believe you fell for that train thing.”

“What train thing?” Shar stepped forward, her eyes narrowed in fury and confusion.

Hera turned to her. “Didn't it ever occur to you that the train never stopped? Is that what happens in your world?”

We both shook our heads, and then it dawned.

“You mean,” said Shar softly, “this was a setup?”

“One of my best yet.” Hades' exuberant grin was almost boyish.

“Hades!” Persephone punched him in the arm.

“Oh, I wish we could get a shot at him,” muttered Shar.

I kept going over what happened that night in the train station—was it really all an illusion? “You mean to say that Jeremy was never harmed? In any way, ever?”

“Only the Fates determine such things,” said Hera. “Your experience was completely engineered by Hades. I have to admit that he has a way of misleading gullible, slightly dim-witted—”