Sir Alan Sugar (22 page)

These were strong words of support for Brown from one of Britain’s greatest business brains. Given Brown’s background and expertise in the financial side of politics, it will have meant a lot to him to hear these sentiments. And, as Sugar continued to back the embattled Scot, it transpired that his admiration was by no means a new thing. ‘It’s not just recently that I have backed Gordon Brown,’ he said. ‘I’ve known him for a long time as Chancellor, and I have got to know him quite well, and, out of the last four prime ministers that I have had the pleasure to have met, I think he is a very, very clever man and a man who is over everything and knows what is going on.’ In what could be construed as a thinly veiled dig at the likes of Tony Blair and David Cameron, he contrasted what he saw as Brown’s genuine nature, with the more theatrical, image-based politicians who dominate the 21st-century Westminster scene. ‘He may not come across as some kind of actor but he has got his hand on the pulse,’ avowed Sugar. At this point, it
appeared he was becoming quite a commentator on the political scene, and he recalled his earliest memory of politics and the people at the top. He first became properly aware of the office of prime minister at the tender age of 15. ‘It was the first time I signed on to why the country needs a leader,’ he explained.

In another subtle contrast with the more showbiz politicians of the 21st century, he looked back at the political scene that dominated Britain in his youth. ‘In those days a prime minister was seen as stuffy, perhaps boring, but a serious person, a person you trusted to guide the country through the challenges it faced both at home and abroad.’ Clearly, Sugar saw Gordon Brown as very much in this mould. He was quick to insist that he had nothing to gain from backing Brown, no ulterior motive. ‘I have no axe to grind. Let’s face it, I have done OK – I am Sir Alan, recognised by the Queen for my services to business thanks to my natural-born entrepreneurial spirit. You haven’t seen me up the arse of the politicians. I don’t need to achieve anything or be recognised any more.’

It is little wonder that Sugar related to the fickle fortunes of politics, and how they were impacting on Brown. Because Sugar had worked in a similarly
high-pressure
and volatile profession – football – his heart went out to Brown as he faced schemes and behind-the-scenes machinations. ‘It reminds me of my days as a football club chairman,’ said Sugar. ‘Walk out of the ground after
giving the opponents a good hiding and the fans would chant, “Alwight, Al … top man … keep up the good work, mate … how’s the family? … well done, son.” A week later when we got our arse kicked, the
same
group chanted, “Oi, you tosser, what you gonna do about the team, then, eh? Get your fucking chequebook out, you fucking wanker.”’

Meanwhile,
The Apprentice
was going from strength to strength. A record 20,000 applications were received for the fourth series from which 16 candidates were chosen. The contestants were housed in the Glass Factory in Battersea, and, as ever, there were plenty of characters among the 16 who made it. Raef Bjayou is a posh, handsome Exeter University graduate. He assured himself instant cult status with his pronouncements that ‘the spoken word is my tool’ and ‘I get along with prince and pauper’. Another stand-out candidate was Michael Sophocles, the overcelebrating candidate who provoked the memorable reaction from Margaret Mountford mentioned earlier. Eccentric and a bit posh, risk manager Lucinda Ledgerwood was very much a first for the series, described by Sugar as ‘zany’. It was a fair description. Then there was pin-up Alex Wotherspoon, who was a salesman with boy-band looks.

It seemed set to be a cracking series, and viewers were not to be disappointed. The second week saw both teams challenged to run an overnight laundry service. Almost inevitably, items of clothing were lost, and one team
offered a ‘project-manager hotline’ to customers, prompting Sugar to wonder whether laundry customers would ever call a hotline ‘to check on the progress of their Calvin Kleins’.

However, the most memorable tasks of the series – and one of which Sugar has expressed his pride – came when the teams were sent to Morocco to buy a list of items at as cheap as price as they could manage. This prompted comedy galore, particularly when ‘nice Jewish boy’ Michael Sophocles bizarrely asked a Muslim to bless a chicken for him, in order to satisfy the criteria of buying a kosher chicken. Sugar then quizzed Sophocles as to whether he was indeed Jewish, reminding him that he could always pull down his trousers to check whether he was circumcised. Eagle-eyed viewers may have noticed that Sophocles, claiming to be a ‘nice Jewish boy’, crossed himself prior to entering the boardroom.

The Week 11 interviews were as memorable as ever, with the addition of businesswoman Karren Brady to the panel. However, the most entertaining interviewer was, as ever, property developer Paul Kelmsley. A business sensation, Kelmsley has become a hero to aspiring millionaires across the country. On
The Apprentice
, he is always hilariously brusque with the candidates. When he reported back to Sugar in the boardroom, he noted that one candidate – Lee McQueen – had cheekily winked at him at the conclusion of the interview. As the interviewers left the boardroom, Kelmsley reprised this
theme by cheekily winking at Sugar. ‘Pisss offff,’ responded the boss!

Not that McQueen’s wink – or the revelation that he had lied on his CV – was about to get in the way of his winning the show, although he admits he was shocked himself at his victory.

‘When I was told I’d won, I took a deep breath,’ he said afterwards, smiling. ‘I was relieved, overjoyed. My heart missed a beat. I was thinking, “Really?” Sir Alan is firm but fair. He’s very, very successful and if I can take just a tiny percentage of his wealth I’ll be a multimillionaire. I’ve got my dream job and I’ve already got my dream girl [his girlfriend Nicola]. I suppose now I should go down on one knee and ask her to marry me. That would really complete things, wouldn’t it?

‘One of the first things I’m going to have to do when I join Sir Alan’s company is ask him for some time off so we can go on holiday. And I should treat Nicola to something nice like some fancy new shoes. When I was 26 I said to my mates I was going to have a Porsche 911 when I was 30. Well I’m 30 now and I’ve got a
£
100,000-a-year job so it shouldn’t be long before that gets sorted.’

McQueen – who earned
£
75,000-a-year in his last job at Capita Group – was put in charge of a new company within Sugar’s sprawling
£
800-million-plus empire. He explained, ‘Sir Alan has bought a new business doing digital advertising and signage. I’ll be running the sales
teams with one of his colleagues. It’s just want I wanted to do – start on something fresh and exciting.’

McQueen received fan mail galore as a result of his appearance on
The Apprentice
– from all sorts of people. ‘I’ve had letters from gay blokes. One guy said he didn’t care if I won – he just wanted to spend some time with me. I’ll probably give that a miss.’

Something Sugar could not give a miss were the usual promotional rounds for
The Apprentice
. During Series 4, he was back in the interview seat at
Friday Night
with Jonathan Ross
on BBC1. In what was becoming an annual outing, he once more pitched up to promote
The Apprentice
as the contestants came to the home run of their race to win the show. Once more, there was plenty of anticipation and the appearance was awarded the pick of the day in the television columns of numerous newspapers. Sitting alongside his wife Ann in the green room on the night, Sugar appeared relaxed. Ross had set up a gag during the introduction of Sugar, with comedian Alan Carr dressed up as a woman, to play the part of Frances, Sugar’s ‘secretary’ in the series. So when it was time for Sugar to be interviewed, he phoned the green room and said, ‘Frances, can you send him through?’

‘Pour some Sugar on me,’ sang the house-band, Four Poofs and a Piano, as Sugar appeared in the studio to rapturous applause.

Turning to the 40th wedding anniversary that Sugar
and his wife had just celebrated, Ross quipped, ‘She could do better than you to be honest!’

Sugar took the banter on the chin, laughed and said, ‘That’s what people have always said.’ Asked how he thought his wife had put up with him for 40 years, he said, ‘I don’t know. I think, if you knew her nature, and the type of person that she is, you’d understand how it’s lasted for 40 years. She’s completely the opposite to me. So, a very nice, kind caring person. But seriously, she’s kept me on the straight and level.’

Ross commented how Sugar looked particularly healthy and groomed. ‘I don’t want to bore you with my medical history, but I had that groin problem,’ said Sugar. ‘They fixed it in the end. I told you the last time I was here.’ He then explained how the doctor who fixed his groin had expressed disbelief that Sugar had never had a colonoscopy. What was that? wondered Ross and much of the audience. ‘It’s investigatory,’ he said, before cutting straight to the chase by adding, ‘It’s when they stick a camera up your backside, you know?’ He told how when the doctor had stuck the camera up, he had kept saying ‘Ooh!’ and ‘aah!’ ‘I thought he’d found Lord Lucan up there!’

Turning to
The Apprentice
, when Ross asked how much control the producers had over him, Sugar was unequivocal. He denied that he was told whom to sack by the producers, and said that, other than being advised what time to turn up for filming, nobody ever told him
what to do. ‘I’m not an actor. Everything I say, good, bad or indifferent, comes out of my own mouth. There’s no scripting.’ He also praised his sidekicks Margaret Mountford and Nick Hewer as the ‘unsung heroes’ of the show. Then Ross showed the audience an amusing clip from a recent episode and there was laughter aplenty.

Turning from interviewee to interviewer, Sugar then decided to take control of proceedings. ‘Are you going to do the
Comic Relief Apprentice
?’ he asked Ross. While the host nervously pleaded with Sugar not to ‘start bossing me around’, the audience widely applauded Sugar’s suggestion. Another of the evening’s guests, Johnny Vegas, had promised to do it, added Sugar, really piling on the pressure. After Ross squirmed for a while, Sugar announced, ‘So that’s it, you’re going to join us. You’re in.’ Ross agreed and they shook on it, before the host joked that Sugar would have to let him win.

Ross revealed that, in the current series of
The Apprentice
, he was very fond of Raef. ‘My first reaction on seeing him was, “This man’s an absolute cock,”’ said Ross. ‘Then by week two, I thought I rather like him!’ He went on to praise Raef’s sartorial elegance.

Sugar had giggled at some of Ross’s comments, but he was quick to defend his man loyally. ‘He’s actually a very, very nice fellow. He is really a nice fellow,’ said the gracious guest. He then admitted that he enjoyed firing ‘evil’ Jenny, because of how she turned on Sara in the boardroom and admitted he was a bit scared when he
fired the other Jenny. There were then some bizarre interruptions from Vegas, who was in rather irritating mood. For reasons beyond Sugar’s control, the interview never really picked up after that. However, at least he had enrolled Ross on to the
Comic Relief Apprentice
.

As it turned out, Ross’s promise to appear on the
Comic Relief Apprentice
created a small headache for the show’s producers. Weeks before filming on the show began, Ross landed himself in extremely hot water after a controversial appearance on Russell Brand’s Radio 2 programme. The pair made some prank calls to 78-
year-old
former
Fawlty
Towers
star Andrew Sachs, and left obscene message on the actor’s phone. Soon, in part thanks to the
Daily Mail
, a media storm erupted over the matter, resulting in BBC director general Mark Thompson suspending Ross. ‘He absolutely overstepped the mark,’ said Thompson. ‘A 12-week suspension is an exceptional step, but I believe it is a proportionate response to Jonathan’s role in this unhappy affair.

‘I believe that he fully understands the seriousness of what has happened. We agree that nothing like this must ever happen again and that tight discipline will be required for the future.’

However, given the charitable nature of the show, the suspension was lifted in order to allow Ross to film the
Comic Relief Apprentice
.

A show insider said, ‘Jonathan was in a difficult position as his suspension came just days before filming
began on the show. Pulling out at such short notice would have left producers with a headache.’

The charity spin-offs of
The Apprentice
have become a firm favourite for television viewers.
Comic Relief Does The Apprentice
was aired in March 2007, featuring a girls’ team including Cheryl Cole, Jo Brand and Karren Brady and a boys’ team boasting, among others, Alastair Campbell, Rupert Everett and Piers Morgan. The show had a one-off task: to run a funfair and raise funds for Comic Relief. The girls’ team won the competition, but the true winner was Comic Relief, which was
£
1 million to the good as a result of the show. The following year, the Sport Relief charity benefited when a
Sport Relief Does The Apprentice
special was aired on BBC1. Once more the girls’ team – featuring the likes of Claire Balding and Louise Redknapp – beat the boys’ team, which included Nick Hancock and Lembit Opik.

The charity funds raised were a great consequence of
The Apprentice
’s success. Soon, it was time for other countries’ viewers to watch the original British show and give their verdict on it. Many of the more successful reality-television shows of recent years have been imported into Britain from overseas.
Big Brother
was originally a Dutch show, and, of course,
The Apprentice
itself was an American invention. However, there are also precedents of British reality shows doing well overseas, the most striking example of which is the success of
American Idol
on Fox in the USA. The show has attracted
more than 40 million viewers for its grand finale, has launched the careers of a string of stars including Kelly Clarkson, and has been described by Jeff Zucker, the chief executive of NBC Universal, as ‘the most impactful show in the history of television’. However, this show that has become such a monstrous success actually came from a British original
Pop Idol
, which was launched in October 2001 on ITV. A reality music competition, it was an astonishing hit. Pop hopefuls sang in front of a panel comprising Simon Cowell, Pete Waterman, Nicki Chapman and Neil Fox. After the judging panel whittled down the contestants to a final 50, the public then voted for their ‘pop idol’ until the field was reduced to a final two.