Sintown Chronicles I: Behind Closed Doors (73 page)

“Why not? You're forceful, determined, plainspoken, obviously educated to some extent and very beautiful. Just because you were a streetwalker doesn't disqualify you as a desirable wife for my son. Please notice I used the past tense."

“Randy says you badly want grandchildren. I've had my tubes tied."

“I understand that procedure can be reversed, and there's always the option of adopting. Besides, I'm not going to live long enough to enjoy grandchildren anyway."

Mrs. Nickels reached for another cigarette. Jo went to the desk, picked up the lighter and held the flame to the cigarette dangling from the elderly woman's lips. Suddenly the wrinkled hands clasped and squeezed Jo's breasts. “Damn,” said Mrs. Nickels. “These things are real. That poor boy of mine doesn't realize what he is missing."

Jo stepped back. “Do you want me to take off my clothes so you examine me like one does a horse before buying it?"

Mrs. Nickels laughed. “Honey, I've already checked out your teeth. For the first time since they dumped me in this joint I have a raging appetite. Let's go get some lunch."

Jo glanced around the room. “Do you have a wheelchair or something?"

Mrs. Nickels placed her hands on the arms of the chair and pushed herself erect. She took Jo by the arm and ushered her into the hallway. “As I told you, Jo, there's nothing wrong with me. Pick up the pace a little, honey. I'm hungry."

Lucky greeted Randy and Jo with a barking mouth and wagging tail. “Did you miss us guy?” Randy asked as he picked up the dog and rubbed his back.

“Before you build a fire or anything else,” Jo said as she closed the door behind them, “I have something to tell you before I lose my nerve."

Randy saw the look on Jo's face. “Yes ma'am, Mama Jo” he said, sitting on the sofa and snuggling Lucky's cheek next to his own.

“I did some serious thinking on the flight home while you were napping,” Jo said. “I like your mother. I like her a lot. She wants me to rape you."

“She what?” Randy gasped, dumping Lucky to the floor.

“She even told me how to do it, and I'm sure her plan would work, but I respect you too much to do that."

“I don't for one minute believe..."

“Hush! This is what we are going to do. We are going to get married in the next few days. A Justice of Peace or that preacher here in Dot that you told me about will do. Nothing fancy. You and I will have our studies upstairs, we will use the master bedroom and your mother will occupy the guest bedroom."

“Now wait a minute,” he said, standing up.

“You wait a minute. You said yourself she's running out of money."

“Who's going to look after her?"

“She doesn't need a lot of professional care. She can still pretty much look after herself. You told me there is a good clinic and doctor here in Dot. What care she needs, other than medical, I'll give her. And together the two of us will look after you. We're going to make a successful man out of you yet."

“Does mother know about this?"

“In a way it was her idea—all but the part of her moving in with us."

“I don't want her finding out about the pornography."

“She already knows."

“You told her?"

“She wants to read your dirty books. She wants to know how the hell you can write about something you've never experienced."

He stooped and began to shovel ashes out of the fireplace. “Don't I get a say in any of this?"

“No,” she replied. “And you may as well accept the fact that on our wedding night two Nickels are going to be rubbing together all night long. I have to go pee."

As she hurried from the room, Jo did not see the big smile on Randy's face.

“Good to see you again,” Mack said as he grasped Randy's outstretched hand. “And this lovely lady would be JoAnn Birdwell."

Jo smiled politely as she also shook the preacher's hand. She thought he held her hand too tightly and too long. She pulled away from him and stepped back.

“Come in and pull up a chair,” Mack said in further welcome to his study. As the couple sat down on the sofa, Mack leaned against his desk, towering above them. “So you want to get married, do you?"

Randy and Jo both nodded with uncomfortable grins on their faces.

“You probably have come to the right place, but I don't want to become a ‘marrying Sam,’ performing ceremonies right and left. I always require at least one counseling session and that is why we are here today."

Randy shifted nervously and cleared his throat.

“Randy, I have seen you in church nearly every Sunday for the past few months, but Jo, this is the first time I have met you. How long have you two known each other?"

He seemed to be undressing her with his eyes. “Just a little over two weeks, actually,” Jo answered. “We met on New Year's Eve in Charlotte. I..."

“We seemed to click instantly,” Randy interrupted.

“I see,” Mack said, moving to an overstuffed chair. “Jo, I believe you have something you want to add."

She laughed. “I'm more outspoken than Randy. He's a truthful cuss, but doesn't believe in telling everything he knows."

“Everything discussed today is strictly confidential, of course,” Mack assured them. “I think, Randy, this is the time when it is very important to let it all hang out. Jo, please go on with what you were saying."

“Well, as I said, we met on New Year's Eve in Charlotte. I was living at a mission at the time. I was cold and hungry. If you remember, there was a major winter storm that night."

“I well remember. My wife and I went to a New Year's Eve party at the Dollars’ home that night. Driving was treacherous. In fact, the Dollars were late getting to their own bash due to an accident caused by the icy roads."

“We know. Randy and I were in the other car involved in that accident."

“I didn't realize that,” Mack said. “Excuse me, Jo. I interrupted you."

“I accosted Randy on the sidewalk and offered him a bargain price for a good time. He refused, even after I brought the price down to rock bottom."

“You were a ‘lady of the evening’ at the time?"

The expression on his face was one of lust, not shock. She was certain of it. “No, I was a common prostitute. It's a long story. Although Randy would not avail himself of my services, he felt sorry for me. He took me in, bought me some clothes, fed me, and gave me a place to sleep until the weather lifted. It was during this time that we ‘hit it off’ as he puts it, but he won't have sex with me unless we're married, so here we are."

Mack laughed and said, “I hope there's a little more to it than that."

“Not much more,” Randy said with a chuckle. “My mother is in a nursing home in Maryland. We visited her on Wednesday. Mother sent me on some errands and while I was gone, she and Jo decided on the marriage. Even if they let me vote, the result would have been at least two to one in favor of marriage."

“I take it, Randy, that you are not entirely sold on this arrangement,” Mack said.

“Of course he is,” Jo joked. “He just doesn't know it yet."

“I think we'd better let Randy speak for himself,” Mack said seriously.

Jo bent forward to adjust her shoe. She felt the preacher's eyes on her low cut blouse.

Randy cleared his throat, stood and walked to the study window. For a few seconds he watched two teenagers playing basketball in the parking lot below—a boy wearing baggy jeans and a girl with the biggest breasts he'd ever seen. He turned and said, “You're not going to like what I have to say, but here goes.” He cleared his throat again. “I'm not a mama's boy, but I do respect my mother's opinion. I ignored her advice concerning a romantic relationship once before and suffered greatly for it. I like Jo. I like her a lot. I'm willing to give it a try."

“I see,” Mack said. “I think I should warn you at this point that it is much easier to get married than to obtain a divorce. Preachers come much cheaper than divorce attorneys do. Let me ask the two of you this. Do you love each other?"

Randy and Jo exchanged glances. “I don't think either of us knows what love is,” Jo replied as she intentionally parted her knees. “We like each other a lot. We may love each other. The answer to your question is neither yes nor no."

“Jo,” Mack said, his eyes riveted on her white panties, “I may be getting a little off the subject, but in the few minutes we have talked I could not help but notice your use of the good old English language. My guess is you have a good education, which one would not expect from a person of your, uh, vocation."

“My former vocation,” Jo replied as she pressed her knees together. “I am a graduate of Mars Hill College."

“That's a fine school. How in the world did you find your way to Mars Hill?"

“My dad was a fundamentalist Baptist preacher. He sent me to Mars Hill, thinking it was a fundamentalist school. Fortunately for me, he was wrong."

“Randy, where did you go to college?"

Randy returned to his seat beside Jo and answered, “University of Maryland."

“That's a fine school too,” Mack commented, getting up and walking to the window Randy had vacated. He watched Penny, breasts bouncing, drive the lane, soar into the air and drop the basketball effortlessly into the net while Billy clapped his hands. Penny held open her arms and pushed her lovely chest into Billy's when he entered her embrace, and Mack watched with a twinge of jealousy as Billy ran his hands down the church secretary's back and cupped her buttocks.

He turned back to Randy and Jo. “Jo, Randy says he is willing to give marriage a try because his mother thinks it's a good idea. You say you don't know whether or not you love Randy. Why do you want to marry him?"

“For his money,” Jo joked.

“That's not true,” Randy said, shaking his head at Jo. “I don't have any money. The truth is,” he continued, looking at Mack, “she has a thing about always paying her debts, and she thinks she owes me sex and marriage for what little I have done for her."

“You're wrong, Randy. I owe you $516.18 for the clothes and stuff you bought me. I figure my services as a housekeeper, cook and companion on the trip to visit your mother has more than paid for the food and lodging you have provided. Now that we both have good jobs working for Mrs. Dollar, I can pay my debt. I want to marry you because I'm ready to settle down, I like you, and I like your mother. I think we can make it work."

“Hey, I think we can make it work, too,” Randy said defensively. “She did hit it off with my mother,” he explained. “Part of her plan is to have mother move in with us after we are married."

“Well,” Mack said, rubbing his chin. “We've uncovered two important elements in this little drama I think. Tell me more about Randy's mother, Jo."

“A sweet old lady she is not,” Jo laughed. “She's a great old lady trapped in an environment she hates. She's strong-willed, opinionated and down to earth. She's everything I wish my mother had been. Randy is a talented, creative writer, but he is lacking in self-confidence and drive. He needs the pushing and shoving his mother and I can give him, and he knows it."

“Is this true?” Mack asked Randy.

He laughed and said, “I shouldn't admit it, but yes, it's probably true."

“Jo,” Mack asked, “how would you feel about having your mother-in-law listening to your bedsprings creak?"

“I would love it,” she replied, “but Randy would probably be embarrassed until he heard his mother applauding when the groans die down."

All three chuckled at the mental image her answer created.

“Now,” Mack continued, “tell me about your new association with Dollar Enterprises."

“The floor is yours, Randy Baby,” Jo laughed.

“Thank you very much, Mama Jo. Preacher, I'm a frustrated writer. I've written a couple of novels that I think are good, but I can't find a publisher. I heard that Mrs. Dollar was starting a publishing firm of her own. That's why I moved to Dot, but I couldn't get up the courage to talk with her about it. Jo met Mrs. Dollar on New Year's Eve when we had the near miss on the icy roads. It was Jo who brought up the subject with Mrs. Dollar and the end result is that she has hired us both to turn the dream of a Dollar Publishing House into reality."

Mack made the motion of a truck driver blowing his air horn and said, “All right. I'm a frustrated writer myself. I have two books of a religious nature completed, but I, too, cannot find a publisher. Shoot, I can't even find an agent. I would be honored to have my books published by Sandra Dollar."

“It's not a done deal yet,” Jo chimed in. “We have a ton of work to do before we send a manuscript to press."

“Of course,” Mack said. “It's just that the last I heard, Sandra had given up on the idea. Now, back to your pending marriage. You two have much in common, but frankly, I don't think you are ready to get married. Being willing to give it a try is, in my book, not a sufficient reason to get married, Randy. And Jo, being ready to settle down doesn't mean you should settle down with the first available man."

“Crap, Randy. I told you this was a waste of time,” Jo said as she stood up. “Let's go find a Justice of the Peace in Charlotte."

“Hear me out,” Mack said as he also stood. “You two are not kids with romantic stardust in your eyes. I like that. You simply have not known each other long enough to be making immediate marriage plans. Why don't you live together for a few months and see if you are compatible enough to make a lifetime commitment to each other?"

Randy jumped to his feet, his face turning red and his hands trembling. “I don't believe you said that,” he almost shouted. “You, a man of the cloth, are suggesting that we live together in sin in direct contradiction to the teaching of the Holy Bible?"

“Simmer down, Randy,” Mack said, raising his hands in a mock defensive posture. “Do you remember the story of Mary, the mother of Jesus and how she was betrothed to Joseph when she became pregnant?"

“Of course,” Randy replied.

“Do you know the meaning of the Jewish custom of betrothal?"

“It was something like an engagement period wasn't it?"

“Not really,” Jo injected. “It was pretty much like what Mack is suggesting for us—a period of living together to get to know each other, but without sex."