Sins from Her Past (Scandalous) (20 page)

The bedroom doors were all closed. She stopped just outside hers and turned the knob. The creak of the old metal broke the silence and she shoved the door open.

The empty room stared back at her, but the carpet, the minty green walls, even the cigarette burn in the carpet in the corner was still there. She smiled at the memory of when she’d tried to sneak and try smoking with her best friend. They’d been fourteen and obviously had not considered the fact that in a house full of nonsmokers, cigarette smoke would stand out.

When she’d heard her father coming up the steps, she and her BFF had tried to put out the cigarette. Unfortunately, some ashes had hit the carpet. Needless to say her father hadn’t been happy.

A laugh escaped her as she recalled his punishment. She had to smoke the entire pack of cigarettes right then. Yeah, after she’d hacked herself nearly to death and thrown up, she’d pretty much been broken of wanting to do that anymore.

At the time she’d been convinced her father was so angry and he hated her for disobeying. Now, looking back, she knew he’d scolded her and punished her out of love.

Evelyn went to the window to look out onto the backyard. She knew she hadn’t been a rowdy teen, just a normal teen who’d tried random, stupid stuff. More than likely she’d rolled her eyes at her parents or talked back, but she hoped they’d known deep down how much she loved them. She’d give anything to tell them.

Evelyn rested her hand on the warm glass. The fact she didn’t get to say goodbye to them was another of those dark clouds that followed her through life. It was always there, always gloomy and always a reminder of a part of her life she could never change, no matter how much she wished for it.

Sweat trickled down her neck, but she didn’t care. She used to spend hours up in this room playing, daydreaming. She’d done everything in this room, from playing dress-up with her dolls to pretending to be a bride by using her curtains as her veil. Every little girl’s hopes were captured in this one room and, no matter the evil that found her once she left this sanctuary, nothing would change the fact that this place kept that innocent girl’s memory locked away.

“This was your room?”

She spun around to see Vin standing in the doorway. His broad shoulders nearly filled the entire frame.

Evelyn nodded. “Yeah. Just remembering. I won’t lie—when Dylan finishes this house, I’m having a sleepover in my old room.”

Vin laughed and crossed to meet her. “As long as I can sleep in here with you, I don’t care.”

She reached up, stroked his face and looked into his eyes. “I’m glad you brought me here.”

“Sometimes you have to face your fears and your past to move forward.”

Evelyn jerked her hand away. He was getting too close to the evil…an evil she couldn’t let touch him or the future he wanted with her.

“Don’t pull away from me,” he told her. “I’m not prying and I’m not judging. I’m simply stating you were afraid to come here. You can’t let your past have so much of a hold on you, Evie. You’ll never be able to move forward.”

“Why can’t I just forget the past?” she asked.

He reached out, taking her hands in his. “Because no matter the ugliness that haunts your past, it has defined who you are now.”

Unfortunately that was true. She was forced to be stronger, to grow up and defend herself. But she was also forced to protect a lying rapist and that did not sit well with her. It never would.

“Let’s go back downstairs,” she told him, unable to dance around the topic of her past anymore. “I’ve lost five pounds of sweat up here.”

Vin tugged on her hands and led her to the door. “You know at some point you’re going to have to open up to me.”

“Maybe. Maybe not.”

With that, she let go and went back downstairs.

“Your parents have been in an accident. They didn’t make it.”

Evelyn’s world started spinning. This wasn’t happening. Things like this didn’t happen to her. They happened to other people. She was in high school, her brother was going to college. How could her parents be taken from her at a time like this?

Where would she go?

Rick. Rick was her godfather. But she didn’t want to live with Rick. She wanted her mother and father. She wanted her house, her stuff.

Evelyn turned from the door and the police officer and ran into a hard chest. Her eyes darted up to Alan.

“It’s okay, sweet Evie. I’m here to take care of you.”

She sobbed into his chest. He was like a brother to her and she needed his comfort, his support.

The next thing she knew he was ripping her clothes, shoving her down. Laughing.

“Stop,” she cried. “What are you doing?”

“What I’ve wanted to do for a long time.”

Evelyn tried pushing him away, but he was so much stronger and he just kept laughing. Even the policeman still standing at the door was laughing.

She cried, kicked and screamed. Nobody would help her.

“Evelyn!”

She jerked awake and found herself in the clutches of Vin’s strong grip. Her entire body was shaking. He released her long enough to turn on the bedside lamp.

“You’re dreaming again,” he told her as he gripped both of her bare shoulders. “You okay?”

Evelyn nodded. “Sorry I woke you.”

Vin gave her a slight shake. “I don’t give a damn about my sleep, but I am tired of this. Your nightmares are coming more and more often. What the hell is going on? And if you even try to dance around this topic again, I’ll call Dylan and we’ll get to the bottom of this.”

Evelyn sighed and closed her eyes. “Dylan doesn’t know.”

“Does he have any idea?”

Evelyn shook her head.

“I’m damn near positive I know,” he told her. “But I’m praying you’re about to prove me wrong and tell me that you weren’t raped.”

Evelyn stilled. Every part of her froze except her heart, which picked up a pace so fast she thought she’d be sick. Her stomach clenched and she looked into Vin’s eyes. No, there was no getting around this. Not when he was so close to the truth.

But that ugly word hung in the air between them and now that he’d thrown it out, he’d given her the courage to tackle it and to fight for a future she so desperately wanted.

“I was raped.”

Vin cursed, pulled her to his chest and hugged her tighter than ever. “Damn it, Evie. Where is the son of a bitch?”

Evelyn swallowed. There was absolutely no way she could confess everything. Not if she wanted to protect her godfather and Dylan.

“Don’t worry about him,” Evelyn said. “It was years ago. I’m trying to just move on.”

He eased back, tears were actually swimming in his eyes. Evelyn reached up and cupped the sides of his face.

“Don’t cry for me,” she whispered. God, this big, strong man was crying over her mistakes, her sins. “I’m okay.”

“Yeah,” he retorted, “that’s why these nightmares are coming more frequently. Did something happen to trigger them all of a sudden?”

Evelyn shuddered. “I think it’s a lot of things. This relationship with you, the house. I’m just not used to all this upheaval in my life.”

Vin eyed her as if he didn’t believe a word of the bullshit she’d just handed him. But he would have to be satisfied with what she’d told him because there wasn’t much else she was willing to offer.

“Why didn’t you just tell me in the beginning?” he whispered.

“I was ashamed.” That was most definitely the truth. “I’ve only been with one person and that was the man who…”

Vin closed his eyes. The muscle in his jaw ticced. She knew he was angry, knew he was reining in his pissy mood for her benefit.

He lifted his lids and met her gaze. “He took your virginity?”

Evelyn nodded.

“Is the bastard in jail?”

“No.”

Vin jerked up, pulling away from her. “Why the hell not? Is he already out?”

Swallowing down the guilt for only telling part of the truth, Evelyn shook her head. “He never went to jail.”

“What the hell, Evie? Did you file charges?”

Unable to stand the accusation in his voice, not to mention the nauseating topic, Evelyn jerked to her feet. “No, I didn’t file charges. My parents had just died, my brother was going off to college and Rick was running for reelection. I was young and naïve, I couldn’t handle all of that at once and I wasn’t putting that nightmare on anyone else.”

He brought a knee up beneath the sheet and rested his bare arm on it. “This happened when you were sixteen?”

“Yes. I just wasn’t coping well with Mom and Dad’s deaths. I obviously went searching for comfort in the wrong person.”

Vin’s eyes widened. “You knew the person who raped you?”

Evelyn tilted her chin, refusing to be the victim again, and handled the pity Vin was doling out. “Yes, I knew him. I trusted him. Maybe you can see why I had such a hard time with us. I know it’s been years, but it’s not something I will ever forget. I live with it everyday.”

“What’s the statute of limitations for rape?”

Evelyn jerked back. “What?”

“You heard me.” He all but sneered as he held her gaze. “What is the statute of limitations?”

“I-I don’t know,” she mumbled. He couldn’t be serious.

“I’ll find out and I want the bastard’s name.”

Evelyn smoothed her hair back from her face. “Can’t we just move on? You know about me, you know why I have nightmares and issues. I totally get it if you don’t want to be with me, but—”

Vin nearly leaped off the bed and grabbed her by her shoulders. “Like hell I don’t want to be with you. I’m not letting you go or falling out of love with you because you were raped. What kind of jerk do you think I am?”

She stared back into those mesmerizing gray eyes. The same eyes that shed tears for her, the same eyes that held love and compassion for her.

“I don’t think you’re a jerk at all,” she whispered, her throat clogged with emotions. “I think I was giving you an easy way out.”

“Do I look like I want a way out? I want justice against this prick who took advantage of you.”

Evelyn looped her arms around his neck and rested her head on his chest. “I can’t revisit that time in my life, Vin. Please. I just want to move forward with you.”

His strong arms came around her, his hand stroked up the back of her silky cami she’d slept in. “I’m going to respect you enough to not pressure you, but rest assured I will keep trying to find his name. And if you won’t let me go the legal route, I’ll pay him a visit myself. I’m sure Dylan and Alan would be more than happy to help me.”

Evelyn shivered as she pulled back enough to look up at him. “Can we just drop it for now?”

In response, he took her lips, coaxing her mouth open as his hand slid beneath the cami. She loved the feel of his skin against hers, loved the way he knew just how to touch her to make her feel special, cherished.

“Make love to me,” she murmured against his mouth. “You’re the only one who can take away all that ugliness.”

He took her face between his hands and looked directly into her eyes. “I’ll always take away the ugliness, Evie. No one will love you like I do.”

He slammed his mouth back down on hers and she knew he was in a hurry. She knew him well enough to know he not only wanted her now, he wanted to show her how good they were together. And he wanted to reaffirm that whatever had happened in her past had no place between them now.

With frantic movements he rid her of her silky cami and panties, only pulling his mouth from hers long enough to get her completely naked. She hooked her thumbs in his boxer-briefs and helped him slide the unwanted garment down his muscular thighs. He kicked them off to the side.

Vin lifted her and she wrapped her legs around him. She held on to his hard, broad shoulders as he walked to the wide window seat overlooking the moonlit ocean in the distance.

“Look out there,” he whispered in her ear. “The view goes on forever and that’s how long we’re going to be together. Nothing in the past matters. We are going to keep looking forward.”

Evelyn looked over his shoulder as he sat on the cushioned seat. When her eyes came back to his, he was looking at her with heavy lids. Those gray eyes were full of desire and hope…for her.

“I love you, Evie. I’ll never stop, no matter what. Nothing can make my feelings change.”

She unhooked her ankles and came up on her knees to straddle his lap. As much as she feared that the one kernel of secret left could indeed make him stop loving her, she simply couldn’t tell him. All she could do was show him her love and hope that was enough if the secret did ever rear its ugly head.

She took his face between her hands and nipped at his moist lips. God, this man knew how to kiss. He wrapped his hands around her waist and slammed her down onto his erection at the same time his tongue plunged into her mouth.

Evelyn tightened her grip on his shoulders as he assaulted her body in all the right ways. Those talented hands came up her sides and cupped her breasts, thumbing her nipples as her hips rocked back and forth.