Since You've Been Gone (36 page)

The band launched into their rendition of  “Jack and Diane,” and I brushed my sweaty hair out of my face. I looked around to see if I could see Dawn, and maybe get a water from her. I was scanning the crowd for her when I realized I recognized someone in it—it was Frank, and he was looking right at me.

I felt my jaw fall open, and then closed it quickly. He walked across the dance floor to me, hands in the pockets of his suit, taking his time, like he was enjoying the fact that he’d just thrown me for a loop. “What are you doing here?” I asked, my voice low, once he reached me.

“I think I could ask you the same question,” he said. “I
mean, you didn’t think I was going to let you do this without me, did you?” He nodded toward the center table, where the happy couple was feeding each other cake. “The bride’s my cousin.”

“Why didn’t you just tell me?” I asked.

“And miss the look on your face?” Frank asked, shaking his head. “Never.”  The band started playing their version of “I Gotta Feeling” and I found myself moving without even thinking about it, the pounding beat making it easier to forget that Frank was now watching me, that I didn’t have quite the same freedom as before.

And five songs later, I’d totally forgotten it. Frank had taken off his jacket, and we were dancing up a storm, so much so that people were starting to give us a wide berth. He would twirl me in, then send me spinning, and I’d almost bonked my head twice on a centerpiece when he’d dipped me and I’d lost my balance. He wasn’t the best dancer, but neither was I, and after a song or two we had found our groove and were dancing together as easily as we ran together. The band had just played a cover of “Sweet Caroline” that had everyone on their feet, and Frank and I had been yelling the
bum-bum-bum
s at each other. When the song ended, everyone clapped, and I felt myself laughing, not for any specific reason, just that I was flushed and tired and happy.

The bandleader announced that they were slowing it down, and they started playing “You Send Me,” a song I’d always loved.
I looked around, still trying to see if I could find a water, about to suggest to Frank we sit this one out, when I saw that he had extended his hand to me.

I was on the verge of starting to make a joke, but whatever I’d been about to say left me as I saw Frank’s serious expression. I met his eyes and reached out my hand to his. His fingers clasped around mine, and he pulled me close to him, gently, like he was making sure it was okay. I slid one of my arms around his neck, and he had one hand on my waist. Somehow, we were still holding hands, his fingers lightly wrapped around mine as we moved slowly to the music together.

He laughed softly and shook his head, and I leaned back to be able to look at his face, which was close to mine, closer than it had ever been. “What?”

“Just . . . you,” he said after a moment, with a faint smile. “Crashing a wedding.”

“Your idea.”

“I know,” Frank said. “But I was just thinking about that first night at the Orchard.”

“What about it?” I asked. I was trying to focus on having a conversation with Frank, and trying not to think about how close together we were, that he was touching my waist, that he was holding my hand.

“You just seemed so . . . diminished,” he said after a moment. “Like you were hoping nobody would see you.”

I kept my eyes on his, not letting myself look away. “And now?”

He looked right back at me as he gave me a half smile. “You’re the brightest thing in the room,” he said. He lifted his hand from my waist, and slowly, carefully brushed a stray lock of hair from my cheek. “You shine.”

My breath caught in my throat. People said those kinds of things about Sloane—not about me.

“What?” Frank asked, his eyes on mine.

“Just . . .” I took a shaky breath. “Nobody’s ever said something like that to me.”

“Then they don’t see what I see,” he said. I looked into Frank’s eyes and knew, without a doubt, that he meant every word. I started to say something when the chorus kicked in and Frank moved closer to me.

He was tall enough, even in my heels, that I could have rested my head on his shoulder. I swallowed hard, feeling the need to try and freeze the moment and sort through everything that was happening, and figure out just what I was feeling. Our faces were close enough that I could see the constellation of his freckles, his dark eyelashes, and smell that he was wearing some kind of cologne for the occasion—it smelled like cedar, like early mornings, and it made me want to step even closer and breathe him in.

Frank’s hand tightened on my waist, just a little bit, and it could have been just him moving with the music. But even though we weren’t looking at each other—even though we both seemed to be working very hard
not
to look at each other—I had a feeling
he’d done it on purpose, and a moment later, he unclasped his hand from around mine and threaded my fingers through his.

I felt my heart pounding as I concentrated on staying upright and moving to the music, on the song that I knew was ending, any minute now, and I couldn’t tell if I wanted it to end right then, or keep playing on for days. I looked up at him, realizing again just how close we were, when the song ended and “Pour Some Sugar on Me” started. He dropped my hand and took a step away, and I looked away, pretending to straighten my dress, not exactly sure what had just happened.

“Hey!” Dawn was approaching us, a half empty water bottle in her hand, smiling at Frank. “When did you get here?” She looked around hopefully. “Is Matthew here too?”

“No,” Frank said, pointing at me. “I figured that one wedding crasher was enough.”

I nodded at Dawn’s water bottle. “Is there any way I could have some of that?”

“Sure,” she said, handing it over. “All yours.” She yawned and stretched her arms over her head. “I swear, I am never doing one of these again. It’s much better to be on the road and actually getting tips. Thank god this is finally over.”

“You’re done?” I asked as I lowered her bottle, realizing I’d just drunk all of it. Dawn nodded.

“You guys want to come to my place and hang out?” Frank asked, as he pulled out his phone. “I’m not sure if Collins had plans, but I can text him . . .”

“Cool,” Dawn said. “Sounds good.”

“Em?” Frank asked, looking over at me as he texted.

“Actually,” I said. I took a breath before speaking again, not quite able to believe I was about to suggest this. But I couldn’t think of a better time, or one when I’d be so willing to take a risk. “I had an idea . . .”

“I can’t believe this,” Collins said as we stood in a line on the sand, still fully dressed, and looked out at the water. “And this was Emily’s idea?”

“Yep,” I said, still getting my head around that fact myself. “It’s for the list.”

“Please,” Collins said, waving this away. “This is all just a grand scheme to check out my bod.  You can admit it.”

“So, um,” Dawn said, twisting her hands together, sounding more nervous than I’d ever heard her, “do we have a plan? Like, are we going to go in one at a time while everyone else looks away? Or all at once? Or . . .”

“Emily?” Frank said, looking over at me with a smile, even
though I could see he was blushing—which he really hadn’t stopped doing since I’d proposed this, back at the wedding.

Maybe it had been the hours of dancing, or the slow-dancing with Frank, or the fact that I’d been dehydrated, but skinny-dipping had sounded like such a good, easy option back then. But now, actually standing in front of the water and contemplating swimming in it naked—with my friends—things were no longer seeming quite so simple.

“Okay,” I said after a minute, when I realized that since I had proposed this thing, I couldn’t back down, and I needed to be the one to try and figure something out. I glanced up and wished, for the first time all summer, that the moon wasn’t quite so full. It was like having a giant spotlight shining down on us. I looked at the stack of four beach towels that Frank had brought out from the house and tried to sound more confident than I felt. “Okay. I think we should all put on the towels, and then we can go with the towels down to the water, and then throw them aside and jump in.” It seemed like the best plan I could think of for limiting out-of-the-water nudity.

“When did she get so bossy?” Collins muttered to Frank, shaking his head.

“I just think,” I started, “this way, we’ll all feel comfortable, and—”

“To heck with that,” Collins said as he kicked off his flip-flops and yanked off his polo shirt, getting it stuck briefly on his
head. When he started to drop his shorts, I realized where this was going and turned away, and after a noticeable pause, Dawn did too. “Here I go!” I heard Collins yell, and I looked a second too soon, seeing Collins’s bare butt as he dove into the water. “Agh! That’s cold!” he yelled, then held his nose and ducked under. But he was grinning when he surfaced again, and waved us in. “Come on,” he called.

“I think I’m going to do the towel thing,” Dawn said, grabbing hers, and I took one as well.

“Me too,” I said.

I glanced at Frank’s neighbors’ houses, to make sure they were all staying dark, but it didn’t seem like we’d woken anybody up. Dawn and I walked a little bit up the beach, and I held up my towel for her, blocking her from view while she took everything off and wrapped herself in the towel, and then she did the same for me. I knew this was ridiculous, since we were going skinny-dipping, but I just didn’t think I was ready to run full-out buck naked toward the water Collins-style. By the time we headed back to the water, clutching our towels, Frank had gotten in as well, and was next to Collins in the water. I could just see their bare chests, and tried to tell myself I would have seen them anyway if we’d all been swimming, that it wasn’t a big deal. But I still felt my heart pound as the boys turned away so that Dawn and I could run in.

“Ready?” I asked, looking at her.

“I don’t know,” she said, shifting from foot to foot. She
looked toward the water, biting her lip. “I’m not sure . . .”

“Come on.” I smiled at her. “It’ll be fun.” And without waiting, without thinking about it, I dropped my towel and ran toward the water, feeling the cool night air on my skin, feeling utterly free, my hair streaming out behind me, as I splashed into the water and then extended my arms above my head and dove under.

When I surfaced, I saw Dawn plunging into the water as well, doing more of a belly-flop than a dive, emerging with her hair plastered down. “That
is
cold!” she gasped, grinning at me. “Oh my god.”

But cold or not, the water felt amazing, and I realized just how different it was from swimming with a bathing suit on. It reminded me of sleeping under the stars—with nothing between you and the elements.

Soon, it just felt normal to be swimming together like this—you couldn’t really see anything under the water, anyway. The four of us would swim on our own and then come back together, and even when we were just treading water or standing with our feet touching the sand, talking, it felt that much more exciting, because I knew that under the water, we were all naked.

After we’d been in the water for a while, I swam apart from the group, out of view, so that I could just float on my back and look up at the sky. I was aware of Collins calling to us, saying that the C-dawg was getting out, and then the sound of
splashing as he presumably made his way up to the beach. I let myself float there for just a little while, feeling really content and at peace. I was still a little amazed that this was happening. That this, the thing that had seemed so impossible, so terrifying, so utterly beyond me, was happening. I was having fun. And that I was the one who made it happen. “I did it,” I said out loud, sending my voice up to the stars above me, not really caring if the others heard me.

“Guys?” Dawn called, her voice sounding worried. I ducked under the water and surfaced again, smoothing my hair down and swimming over to her. “Where are our towels?”

I looked toward the beach as well, and saw what she meant. The towels that she and I had left there were nowhere to be seen. I could see my clothes, in a pile way up the beach, but the thought of running across that expanse of sand, naked, did not seem that appealing.

“Collins!” I yelled, as Frank swam over toward us.

“What’s the problem?” he asked.

“Our towels are gone,” I said, still scanning the sand for them.

“What?” Collins asked, emerging on Frank’s deck, dressed in shorts and an oversized sweater. I realized after a moment that I could tell they were Frank’s clothes.

“Are you wearing my clothes?” Frank yelled, and Collins shrugged.

“I was cold,” he called back. “Is there some sort of problem?”

“What did you do with the towels, Collins?”

“Me?” he asked, looking offended. “Nothing. Why would you presume it was me?”

“Who else would it be?” Dawn asked.

“I don’t know,” Collins said with a shrug. “Beach hobos? See you guys inside.” He gave us all a grin and disappeared back in the house.

“I’m going to kill him,” Frank muttered as he looked over at me. I hadn’t realized he’d come quite so close, and especially after we’d danced together, it was disconcerting to realize that Frank Porter was naked, right next to me.  And that I was naked right next to him, with nothing separating us but water.

“I see them!” Dawn said, pointing. The towels were neatly folded, almost at the top of the beach by Frank’s steps. “Should we go one by one, or . . . ?”

“On the count of three, maybe?” Frank suggested.

“Let’s just go!” I yelled, as I splashed out of the water, running toward the beach. I was half yelling and half laughing as I went, feeling the warm night air on my skin. I heard splashing behind me and figured that Frank and Dawn had started running as well.

Someone crashed into me—it was Dawn, running with her eyes closed. “God! Sorry!” she yelped as she changed direction, and started running toward Frank’s neighbor’s house.

“Dawn,” I called. I looked around, just to try and see if I was heading in the right direction, and saw Frank’s bare back in the
moonlight, then immediately looked away again. I ran faster, then realized I was reaching the towels at the same time as Frank. “Sorry,” I said as we both turned away, but not before I saw a full view of those abs that I’d only gotten glimpses of before.