Read SimplyIrresistible Online
Authors: Evanne Lorraine
“When did he first hurt you?”
“I’m not sure. Can we talk about something else?” Her voice
sank and her stomach knotted with old shame and new dread. She didn’t want him
to look at her with pity.
“Why aren’t you sure?” Liam’s voice remained mild and he
continued to work the tension out of her upper back, but she recognized his
tone of implacable determination.
She pressed her lips against the urge to explain and
apologize.
“How about I guess?”
Tiana’s gaze locked on an iridescent dragonfly’s pursuit of
prey, willing Liam to just drop the subject.
Undeterred by her silence, Liam drew little circles on her
nape with his rough fingers. “He’d always been bossy and you were used to
deferring to his decision. When he berated you and belittled your
accomplishments and your opinions, you accepted his assessment as accurate. When
he disciplined you it was either for your instruction or for your pleasure. Any
pain you experienced was another sign you’d failed him.”
The account of her relationship with Richard was uncannily
accurate. She still needed to try to explain her stupidity. “I wanted to please
him. I respected him. His criticism only made me try harder. I was an idiot. He
didn’t want to train me. Hurting me excited him. He treated me as if what I
wanted didn’t matter at all. He was wrong. I’m a person and I matter. I spent
quite a lot of time and money on therapy to learn what should have been obvious
from the beginning.”
She swallowed a lump of angry tears threatening to make her
look even more pathetically weak and her hands balled into fists.
“You’re a hell of lot better person than he ever dreamed of
being.”
Tiana nodded, not bothering to argue. She doubted she fooled
Liam. She certainly didn’t fool herself. It had been years since Richard had
nearly killed her. Sometimes she wondered if he’d succeeded. She pushed away
the gloomy line of thought with a silent huff of irritation. Normal might be a
way off, but the only way she lost was if she quit fighting to reclaim her
life. She hadn’t let Richard keep her from riding and she wouldn’t let him
steal her sexuality.
“Did the abuse escalate over time?”
His unvarnished question caught her off guard. Her chest
constricted so hard she couldn’t speak for a long moment. “Yes, he was much
worse after he learned about the terms of my trust fund. Along with the usual
punishment, he stole silver, jewelry, heirlooms—anything he could sell for
cash.”
Even after all this time, Richard’s cruelty sliced deep.
Worse than all his lies, pain and thefts, he’d made her question her
perception, her judgment, her very sanity. She should have recognized the dangerous
pattern of increasing violence. No matter what the therapists said, letting a
man abuse her was insane.
Liam massaged her fists, offering comfort without pressing
her to continue. But now that she’d started she wanted to tell him everything.
“The first time I confronted him about missing items and
forged checks, he yelled at me.” She blinked back tears. “I cried. He
apologized and explained he’d had unexpected expenses and hadn’t been able to
work because he’d been taking care of me. I wound up begging him to forgive me
for doubting him and urging him to take more money.” Her neck bowed with shame.
“It wasn’t enough. Nothing ever was. No matter what I did, he demanded more. I
couldn’t give him what he wanted, so he made me pay in other ways.”
“You’re safe now.” Liam squeezed her hand.
She uncurled her fingers, exposing her scarred palms.
He cupped his hands under hers, supporting her trembling
arms with his strength. “What did he use?”
His voice was a menacing growl, but he held her so gently
she wasn’t frightened. The quivers in her limbs subsided. The whir of dragonfly
wings became audible again as her pounding heart eased to normal. “A cigar. He
liked them. Even a whiff of the smoke makes my stomach clench.”
“That’s why you hyperventilated when I told you about
finding the cigar butt.” Liam placed tender kisses on the shiny, puckered skin.
Touched, she pulled back to look at him. “You remembered.”
“I remember everything about you.”
His heated regard made her heart trip again. Flustered, she
rattled through the short version of escalating abuse, apologies and then more
vicious attacks, ending with, “After he burned me, I left him. I filed a
complaint. A restraining order was issued. I had the locks changed and the
security system upgraded. None of it worked.”
She wanted Liam to understand how hard she’d tried to do the
right thing and to give her absolution for failing.
Stupid, stupid girl, how
can I accept his forgiveness when I can’t forgive myself?
Liam released her hands and cupped the back of her neck. “I
told you before, there’s no room for shame and regrets between us. That goes
for this too. I’m not blaming you for what happened. You don’t own that sick
fucker’s mistakes. You did everything possible to protect yourself. Standing up
to his abuse took real courage.”
His fingers stroked her nape.
“You’re wrong. I’m not brave. I was terrified.” Her voice
sank. “Sometimes I still panic over nothing.”
“Fear doesn’t make you a coward. It’s our most basic
survival instinct.”
She nodded numbly, not believing a single word. Exhausted,
she closed her eyes and leaned into his hold, letting his warmth and strength
anchor her.
“Someday you’re going to tell me everything.” His words fell
with utter conviction, causing her to shiver.
She lifted her lashes. “I don’t remember the worst of the
assault. The doctors said those memories may never return.”
“If they do then you
will
tell me. You don’t need to
deal with any of this alone while I’m here.”
A tightening of the crinkle lines at the edge of his eyes
made her think the impulsive declaration had startled him. She shook off a
foolish impression he’d just made some kind of commitment. She wasn’t ready for
long-term and she didn’t need to start reading emotional undercurrents into his
words. The man was a Dom. He wanted obedience and kinky sex, not forever.
Perhaps a straightforward Master/slave arrangement would
work for them. After all, the pieces of herself she’d already shared revealed
far more of her inner darkness than she would by shedding her clothes. Sadness
threatened to overwhelm her at the thought of settling for what she’d thought
she wanted.
Silent tears trickled down Tiana’s cheeks. Liam pulled her
into his lap and tucked her head under his chin. “Everything is okay, pet.”
It damn well will be too. I’m going to see to it
personally
. Since Liam wanted to dig up the bastard who’d hurt her and
murder the sick fuck much more painfully than his first death his assurances
might be slightly misleading. But he was sincere about protecting her and
that’s what mattered.
The intensity of his protective feelings for Tiana surprised
him again. She called to him on a level he’d never experienced and he wasn’t a
kid. Their relationship was still new and shiny, which did nothing to lessen
the pull between them. He shook off the niggling concerns, attributing their
connection to indisputable off-the-chart chemistry.
One glimpse of her damaged hands explained why she’d given
up competitive riding so abruptly. The cruel burns had been inflicted for
maximum pain and to prevent her from riding. He’d seen enough bad Doms to guess
how her ex, the sadistic son of bitch had twisted Tiana’s natural
submissiveness and used it to hurt her. The fucker hadn’t broken her
spirit—testimony to her strength—but he’d damaged her far beyond the horrifying
scars on her palms.
Reclaiming her natural sensuality would be a long, painful
process. Liam made up his mind to guide her. Part of that was preparing for the
battles to come and preventing her running away from him and from her own
needs.
Crying was a healthy catharsis for the pain she’d endured
too stoically. Her tears still bothered him. He sucked it up and held her safe.
The silent drops slowed. He dug out a clean handkerchief, dried the tracks from
her cheeks and held the crumpled linen under her nose. “Blow.”
She took the hanky and wiped away the last traces with a
sniffle. “Thank you.”
“You have a loving heart and gave your trust to the wrong
Master. Everyone makes mistakes, pet.”
“Uh-huh, your old girlfriends haven’t tried to kill you.”
Her muttered comment hit too close to home, making the new
bullet hole in his pickup cross his mind. “Not yet.”
She pocketed the soggy hanky. “What’s your biggest regret?”
“Not meeting you a whole lot sooner.”
“Nice try.” She gave him a shaky smile. “Telling me about a
disaster from your past would make me feel much less pathetic.”
Okay, he got that. She needed a distraction—not a sob story.
Plus she deserved to know about one of his mistakes in payment for the painful
truths she’d shared. That left him with plenty of choices. “Fair enough,
thinking I could change Ashley into an obedient submissive qualifies.
Especially considering I’m so thick-skulled I tried the same failed cure half a
dozen times.”
The truth was old news, but it still hurt to admit. Not as
much as it used to and not because he missed Ashley’s brand of torture. He
tried to take care of everyone he was responsible for—always had. For years
she’d been his. Yet he’d never been able to give her what she truly wanted. Out
of consideration for Tiana’s own history of abuse, he deliberately omitted
mentioning details. Tiana had already guessed what Ashley had wanted was a lot
more pain than he enjoyed inflicting.
Tiana twisted around and laid a soft palm on his jaw. “She’s
a fool.”
A startled laugh barked out of his throat. “Thanks, but I
was the fool. Pure stubbornness kept me going back down the same road far too
long. If she’d picked someone other than Harvey…” He shrugged. “I count myself
lucky.”
“Won’t she wind up hurting Harvey?” Tiana’s pretty eyes
widened with concern.
“He doesn’t mind sharing now and then.”
Her lashes fluttered closed and color warmed her cheeks.
“Oh.”
“I wouldn’t share you ever.” His raspy growl made him sound
like a barbarian, but laying out his nonnegotiable limits seemed important.
“You shared other women?”
He cleared his throat. “Sometimes—more often than not, yes.”
“With Harvey?”
Shit, how did she put that together? Not something he wanted
to discuss, but he sure as hell wasn’t going to lie. “And others.”
An image of the slave he and Guthrie had double-teamed last
week flickered through his mind. Fun for everyone involved and nothing he would
repeat.
“Relax, I don’t want details.” She averted her gaze.
He would never have guessed he was still capable of
blushing, but the tops of his ears burned with shamed relief.
She unwound his arm. “I’m getting hungry. Are you about
ready to head back?”
“Sure.”
They mounted up and rode side by side in a surprisingly
comfortable silence. The glimpses of their dark pasts had eased some of the
tension between them but none of his burning need.
Tiana kept her attention on the trail. “I hope you don’t
mind eating kid food.”
“Kiddy chow never gets old. Any particular reason it’s on
the menu?”
“Culinary skills aren’t one of my strong suits. I can handle
basics. Sort of…I hope. I brought everything for hot dogs and coleslaw minus
the peanuts.”
“Perfect. I’ll help, grilling is natural man territory.”
“That would be super. How did you learn?”
“To grill?”
“Yes.” She shot him a saucy smile.
“My dad.”
“Mine didn’t grill even when he was home. I doubt he knew
how. We always had a cook. After I was on my own there were always a hundred
things more important than learning cooking skills. Ordering out or picking up
something to go was easier.”
“Sterling Falls is a great place to live, but it doesn’t
offer much in the way of prepped food.”
“I’ve noticed.”
“If you want to learn to cook you won’t find a better
teacher than Lynda, unless Marcia is willing to help.”
“Thanks for the offer.” She nodded and leaned forward in the
saddle.
Liam shifted his weight off the seat. “Anytime.”
“Race you. Last one to the barn does the dishes.” Tiana
urged Sassy into a gallop before the words left her distracting lips.
This time he was prepared and gave Ozzie his head the second
she said “race”. The stallion’s massive hindquarters dug in, propelling them
into high gear. They flew past the fillies in a few strides and waited at the
barn door.
He patted Ozzie’s neck. “You won in style, didn’t you, big
guy?”
The stallion snorted, clearly pleased with his performance.
Tomorrow a mare was scheduled for breeding—Ozzie’s main duty. Tough work, but
some lucky horse needed to handle it and the big stallion was always willing to
do his job.
Ozzie’s stud duty made Liam think about his own sex life.
Everything he wanted to do with Tiana was never out of his mind for long.
Earlier he’d had her bags put in his room where they and she belonged. Would
she object? His lips quirked. If she did, then she would find out how
persuasive he could be.
Tiana maneuvered Sassy into the barn as smoothly as if she’d
been riding her for years. Ozzie followed like a gentleman. While they’d been
gone Jed had mucked out the stalls and restocked the feed. If Liam had been alone
he would have seen to his horse’s needs. Since taking care of Tiana ranked much
higher, he handed Jed the reins. “Any problems while I was gone?”
“Nope.”
Tiana started to dismount. “Let me.” Liam lifted her off and
set her on down. “Have you met Jed Parker?”
“Sort of, Lynda pointed you out.” She shook his hand.
“Tiana Barbour, Jed Parker. He looks after the horses when
Don’s off-duty in addition to helping keep everyone at the ranch safe.”
He caught Jed’s eye. “Someone took a potshot at me over at Tiana’s
place. She accepted my invitation to stay here for a while.”
Jed’s pleasant express scrunched into a scowl. “Chief on
it?”
“He is. I still want to patrol Tiana’s property, but the
real emphasis is on protecting the ranch.”
Jed bobbed his head. “You got it, boss.”
“Did Taylor get settled?”
“She did, even survived the razing.”
“Excellent. Jacques will be joining the team later this
evening.”
Liam shortened his stride to match Tiana’s and steered her
across the lawn with a possessive hand at the small of her back. “We’re not
going to the Crucible tonight.”
“Guess I packed my newbie red bangle for nothing.”
Surprised by her disappointed tone, he met her gaze.
Mischief sparkled in her beautiful brown eyes.
He kept his expression neutral. “Even if we were going you
wouldn’t get to wear the available bracelet, because you’re taken.”
Her distracting mouth formed an O and a blush colored her
cheeks. “Do you have a private dungeon?”
The soft question tightened his chest and made his cock
stir. He didn’t have any kind of playroom, but improvising would be all kinds
of fun. “No, I’ve never entertained a slave at home. Never had sex here for
that matter. The closest I’ve come was in the barn with you, but I could be
persuaded to change my ways.”
Her eyes grew wider. “You’ve never slept with a woman in
your own house?”
No actual sleeping with a woman anywhere, but since the tops
of his ears already burned he omitted mentioning that particular piece of
trivia. “Until recently, I’ve had one or more younger brothers living at home.
With kids sleeping right down the hall, a locked bedroom door doesn’t provide
enough privacy. Besides, none of the women I fucked were exactly family
material. They didn’t belong where I live.”
“You’re a romantic.” Her lips curved.
Busted. She got him on a level no one else ever had. The
strength of their connection scared him, but not enough to slow him down. He
was a Crucible Master. He could control her and their relationship.
Taylor opened the back door for them—a timely reminder the
ranch still wasn’t exactly private.
After Liam introduced them, Taylor squeezed Tiana’s hand in
a firm shake. “Nice to meet you, ma’am.”
The new guard wore pressed jeans, lightweight combat boots
and a loose moss-green shirt. She looked cool, comfortable and adorable in a
kick-butt way. The security specialist came up a little past Tiana’s chin and
reminded her of a woodland pixie. She had cropped brown hair, lovely green eyes
that tilted at the corners, a turned-up nose, bee-stung lips and a lithe, toned
body a preteen would have envied.
“Nice meeting you, Taylor,” Tiana echoed, biting back the
urge to apologize for her own grubby appearance. She still had on the same
broken-in jeans and faded t-shirt she’d worn to town that morning about a
hundred years ago. And she’d cried. So in addition to looking and smelling like
a tired stable hand, now she had the ugly red-eyed, pink-nosed rodent thing
going. She forced herself to stand straighter, instead of hiding behind Liam.
The other woman showed no disgust or disapproval. She didn’t
bother meeting Tiana’s gaze at all. Instead she quickly sidestepped her to
speak to Liam. “Are you going to be inside for a while?”
“Yes, we’re home for the night.”
“Good. I’ll check the perimeter. If Jed’s free to cover the
house I’ll grab some dinner. I’ll be back in a half hour.” Taylor bounced in
her miniature boots.
“Take your time. I’ll activate the alarm system. I’m sure
we’re safe inside.”
“True, but I like giving you an extra layer of security.”
Taylor’s pretty eyes glowed with earnest dedication to duty.
“I appreciate you filling in on short notice.”
“You never know. This might work into a permanent spot at
the ranch.” The pixie guard gave him a too-cute-for-words grin before leaving.
Tiana already knew Liam planned to ask Taylor to cover her
Monday. The pixie clearly preferred guarding him. An unwelcome awareness she
was jealous of the security guard heightened her insecurities. Where were her
wonderful affirmations when she needed them? She’d never been jealous. Envy was
sooo hideously unattractive. And that wonderful realization made her even
crankier. Awesome.
Taylor stopped at the back door and cleared her throat.
Liam whipped his head around. “Yes?”
“Is it true someone shot at you?”
“They missed.” He tugged Tiana against his side. “As you can
see we’re fine.”
“That’s good.” Taylor studied her utilitarian boots.
“Was there something else?”
Taylor’s pretty eyes darted toward Tiana. “Jacques mentioned
I’d be covering her.”
A small muscle twitched to life in Liam’s jaw. “Jacques will
be here soon. Assignments will be made after we’ve talked. Is that all?”
The guard bobbed her head and hurried out the kitchen door.
Tiana swallowed a sigh of relief, letting Liam lead her to a
security panel.
“The code is 6-2-4-5. It spells mail or Liam backward on the
keypad. There’s a pad by each exit and sensors on all the windows.” He
demonstrated how to arm the security system. “You try it.”
She followed his instructions.
“Perfect. Time for a shower.” His heated stare worked better
than a dozen mantras. She rubbed away a sudden influx of chill bumps. She
wasn’t certain if he intended to make her panties melt or if sex-god charisma
was just his default setting. Either way his brand of Dominant charm worked.
Taylor might lust for Liam, but she wasn’t here and Tiana
was. She wasn’t wasting energy worrying while she was with the Master of her
dreams.
“Come with me.” He held out an arm, palm up.
She placed her fingers in his and trailed him halfway up the
stairs before reality intruded. “I need my stuff.”
“Your bags are already upstairs.”
Of course, he’d thought of everything—anticipating her needs
before she’d even registered them. No one had ever taken care of her the way
Liam did and no amount of telling herself she’d only known the man a few days
made any difference. Right there on the steps another chunk of her foolish
heart broke loose and floated into his large, capable hands.