Simply Forbidden (11 page)

“And what if your latest beau draws you into that world? Will you be able to do your duty to him then?”

“My latest beau?” For a moment Lisette was confused. “Oh, do you mean Lord Swanfield? He is scarcely that.”

Philip smiled. “If you say so, my dear, but he does seem remarkably keen on you.”

“Lord Swanfield eschews society even more than I do.”

“So I’ve heard. Your mother thinks very highly of him.”

Lisette sat up straight. “She does?”

“She knows everything that goes on in the pleasure house, Lisette, don’t forget that.”

Lisette’s smile faded. “And after talking to my mother, what do you think of Lord Swanfield?”

“I think he is a complex man and I trust you to take care of yourself.”

“Papa …”

“Lisette, I
trust
you.” He held her gaze. “And if the bastard hurts you in any way, I’ll make sure he lives to regret it.”

“Thank you, I’ll bear it in mind.” Lisette made as if to rise from her seat. “If that was all you wanted to say to me?”

“Actually, there is one more thing. An old friend of mine is holding a ball tonight for his daughter who is of a similar age to Emily. I wondered if you would care to accompany me to the ball, and decide whether Emily would benefit from the acquaintance.”

“I’d be happy to, Papa.” It was the least she could do when he was so kind to her. Sometimes she felt that she didn’t deserve his forbearance. He’d tried so hard with her and Christian, even when they’d attempted to disrupt his renewed relationship with their mother.

“Excellent. We can have dinner together and leave after that.”

“Of course, Papa.” Lisette blew him a kiss and hurried to her bedchamber, where she rang for her maid. If she was going to a ball on her father’s arm, she needed to make some effort to appear as beautiful as possible. She could never match her mother’s magnificence, but then very few women could.

Lisette smiled at the thought of her parents’ stormy and unconventional relationship and realized there was probably very little she could do to shock her father either. He deserved her
love. He deserved more from her than she could ever probably give him, but she hoped he’d never realize that.

Gabriel tugged irritably at the tight linen of his cravat and earned himself a smile from Paul St. Clare.

“Do you hate these occasions as much as I do?”

“Is it that obvious?” Gabriel replied, his gaze moving past the receiving line and around the already full ballroom.

“Only to me.” Paul sighed. “My aunt and uncle have offered me a home, but I’m not ready to settle down yet. I need my freedom.”

Gabriel knew that war affected some men that way, turned them into restless spirits who could never settle easily into the placid life of a peaceful nation, men who craved the horror of conflict even as they feared it.

“Ah, here is my aunt,” Paul murmured, and stepped forward to greet a pleasant-faced older woman with faded blond hair. “Good evening, Aunt. May I present my friend and former commanding officer, the Earl of Swanfield?”

“A pleasure, ma’am.”

Instinctively, Gabriel braced himself for the moment when she faced him. He’d become hardened to being given the cut direct, or, worse still, being greeted politely only to see the person whispering about him a second later. But for once, he wanted to make a good impression. He owed Paul that, at least.

To his surprise, she grasped one of his hands in hers and squeezed it tightly. “Lord Swanfield, it is such a pleasure to finally meet you.” She drew him closer and turned to the distinguished man at her side. “Marcus, Lord Swanfield is here.”

Gabriel found himself facing one of the most influential peers in the House of Lords. His hand was taken in a firm grip. “Swanfield, I want to thank you for what you did for my nephew.”

“I did nothing any man would not have done in similar circumstances.”

“Untrue, my lord. From what I’ve heard, you should’ve received a medal for bravery rather than a coward’s dismissal.”

Gabriel winced at the loudness of Lord Ashmolton’s booming voice. Either he wanted everyone around him to hear exactly what he was saying, or he always spoke like that.

“I was only doing my duty, sir, and your nephew was courageous in his own right.”

“Still.” Lord Ashmolton’s voice rose even louder. “You’re a damned fine man and a hero in my book. I’d be proud to sponsor you into my club.”

“That’s very kind of you, sir, but …”

Again Gabriel found himself silenced as Lord Ashmolton rumbled on about how sick Paul had been on his return to England and that he’d only survived at all because of Gabriel’s care. The people around them in the receiving line were starting to stare and whisper and he suddenly felt hemmed in.

He shook Lord Ashmolton’s hand one last time and stepped back from the couple. “Thank you again for your welcome, sir, but I must not keep you.”

Paul grinned as his uncle slapped him on the back and they were able to move along and pay their respects to Paul’s cousin, Lucinda, whom the ball was in honor of. Lucinda seemed at ease with Paul, her brown eyes fixed on him, her pleasure in his company so obvious that Gabriel wondered whether Paul realized his fate yet.

Eventually they made their way down to the dance floor and Gabriel helped himself to a drink from one of the passing footmen.

“You should have told me that my welcome would be so effusive, and that your uncle was a duke.”

“And then you wouldn’t have come.”

Paul glanced up at him. He looked far older in his evening clothes, his blond hair tamed, and his brown eyes alert and full of laughter. He was only two years younger than Gabriel but often seemed a mere boy. There was no sign of that youthful-ness tonight, only a wariness that echoed Gabriel’s.

“Your cousin seems very fond of you.”

“Yes, she is a delightful girl.” He shrugged. “They want me to marry her.”

“She would make you a fine wife.”

Paul’s mouth quirked up at the corner. “Please, Major, you know my tastes do not run in that direction. It would be cruel to her.”

They continued to circle the ballroom, both of them instinctively keeping their backs to the walls. Eventually they settled on a secluded corner near the large windows. “Have you ever been in a relationship with a woman, Paul?”

“Do you mean have I ever tried to conform?” Paul sighed. “I fear my tastes were formed at Eton, and nothing I have encountered since has changed my mind.”

Gabriel stared out across the ballroom and caught sight of an all-too-familiar figure. Miss Ross hadn’t mentioned her intentions to go to a ball, but then he hadn’t either. She looked very nice in some sort of pale gauzy confection that made him want to unwrap her like a bonbon and sink his teeth into her….

“Swanfield?”

He looked down at Paul. “I’m sorry, St. Clare, what did you say?”

“I was going to ask how you feel about women, and then I noticed you were ogling one.”

Gabriel studied his friend’s smiling face and saw the strain around his eyes. “I prefer women.”

“Yet you’ve had both.”

“But given a choice, I would always pick a woman.” He
stared into Paul’s eyes. “I know what you want from me, but I can’t give it to you. I’m sorry.”

“I understand. In truth, I understood that a long time ago.”

“If I were that way inclined, I would choose you, Paul. You are an excellent lover.”

His friend started to laugh and placed his hand on his heart. “Thank you, my lord. You … unman me.”

Gabriel smiled. “You are all man, St. Clare, and there is no one I would rather have at my side in a fight.”

“Or at your back.”

“Preferably where I can see you.”

St. Clare’s smile faded. “I wish things were different between us. I would happily share your bed for the rest of my life.”

For one ridiculous second Gabriel forgot where he was and wanted to reach out and curve his hand around St. Clare’s head and simply hold him. “If I held you to that, it would be as cruel as you marrying Miss Lucinda. You deserve someone to love you for who and what you are.”

“Yes, I see that.” Paul turned away as someone approached them, but not before Gabriel had seen the pain in his eyes. “Ah, look, beauty awaits you.” He bowed. “Good evening, sir, miss.”

Gabriel stepped forward. “Lord Knowles, Miss Ross, may I introduce you to my friend Lieutenant St. Clare?”

Lord Knowles nodded at Gabriel. “Good evening, Swan-field. St. Clare, it is a pleasure to meet you.”

Miss Ross smiled at them. “How are you this evening, Lieutenant? It is a while since I have seen you.”

Gabriel’s attention snapped back to Paul. He’d forgotten that his friend already knew Miss Ross and had admitted to telling her about some of Gabriel’s past.

“I’m very well, Miss Ross, yourself?”

Miss Ross’s glance strayed to Gabriel’s face and he drank in
the pure lines of her cheekbones, her intelligent expression, and the multitude of colors in her ever-changing eyes. She wasn’t classically beautiful, but there was an animation and glow in her face that drew men toward her like bees to honey.

“Would you like to dance, Miss Ross?”

The words were out of his mouth before he had a chance to consider them. So much for his hope of remaining incognito at the dance and making a quick exit.

“If that is all right with you, Papa?”

She looked at her father, who released her hand from his and placed it carefully in Gabriel’s. “Go ahead, my dear. I’ll wait for you in the supper room.”

Paul sighed. “I suppose I should go and do my duty to my cousin. She asked me particularly to dance with her.” He bowed to Gabriel and Miss Ross. “It was a pleasure to see you again.”

Gabriel led Miss Ross toward the dance floor and drew her into his arms. He could now see that the dress was pale yellow and displayed her bosom to advantage.

“You look very nice this evening, Miss Ross. Like a spring flower.”

She looked up at him. “And you look nice, too. Is that a new coat?”

“I believe it is. My valet and Captain Gray chose it for me.”

“Ah, Captain Gray always dresses well.”

“So you know him, too?”

“I know several of the men who frequent the pleasure house. David is a particular friend.”

“Ah, of course you do.” He fell silent as they danced together, and simply enjoyed the feeling of her in his arms. It was usually difficult for him to tolerate this level of noise, let alone enjoy himself. Perhaps it was because Lisette knew more about him than any other woman he’d ever met. She seemed to accept both sides of his fragmented personality with an equilibrium that astounded
him. In fact, she made him feel almost peaceful…. The music stopped far too quickly and he resisted the temptation to keep her close, to allow her to rest her head on his shoulder and simply surround her with his warmth.

“Lord Swanfield.”

He looked down at her upturned face. “Yes, Miss Ross?”

“Are you going to take me back to my father?”

“Of course, Miss Ross.” He led her back through the crowds of guests, stopping only when a man dressed in his old regiment’s uniform stepped deliberately into his path.

“Cousin Gabriel.”

“Captain Granger.” Gabriel nodded his head. Behind William stood Michael, his face pale, his horrified expression indicating that he’d rather be in China than watching his brother confront their cousin. William was Gabriel’s height and had his coloring; the only major difference between them was Gabriel’s unusual eye color. “I hope you are well, sir?”

“As well as can be expected.” William’s gaze turned to Lis-ette, and Gabriel tensed. “I don’t believe I’ve met your dance partner.”

“Miss Ross, this is my cousin Captain William Granger.”

“A pleasure to meet you, sir.” Miss Ross bobbed his cousin a graceful curtsey.

“And you, too, Miss Ross.” William’s smile didn’t even attempt to conceal his disdain for anybody or anything that willingly came into contact with Gabriel.

“If you will excuse us, I must get Miss Ross safely back to her father.” Gabriel ushered Miss Ross past William, only to have his arm caught in a punishing grip.

“Have you been to Swanfield Hall recently?”

“You know I have not.”

William’s laugh was harsh, “Oh, aye, you have no sense of
duty to your name or to the estate, do you? But then who would expect you to? You were hardly born equipped for this role.”

“A fact which you and your family have taken pains to remind me of all my life.” Gabriel met his cousin’s angry stare. “Is it any wonder that I don’t want to visit a place that you and yours turned into a living hell for me?” He pulled out of William’s grasp. “Good evening, sir.”

“It’s not that easy, Gabriel. You’re a man now, not a child. Isn’t it time you took responsibility for those who depend on you?”

Gabriel paused to look back. “Like you, you mean?”

William’s face went white and Michael looked equally shocked. “What the devil is that supposed to mean?”

“I believe my estate paid for both you and Michael’s commissions to the regiment and has continued to pay for your advancement ever since.” Gabriel nodded at them both. “Perhaps you are right and I should take more interest in the finances of my estate. I’m sure your father would be more than happy to turn over all the records that my solicitor has requested for the last five years.”

“Damn you, Gabriel, my father has done nothing but work himself to the bone for you, and this is how you repay him?”

“I think the question is how much should he be repaying me, don’t you? Good evening, William, Michael, and good night.”

Before William could say anything in reply, Miss Ross took Gabriel’s hand and marched him away. She kept moving past the supper room and down a long dark hallway that led toward the back of the house and away from the gawkers and gossips who had gathered around to enjoy the angry confrontation.

“Gabriel, are you all right?”

He looked down at Lisette and let go of her hand. “I apologize,
Miss Ross. I meant to take you to your father before I flounced off like a discarded mistress.”

She reached up and touched his cheek, brushed a soft kiss over his skin. “It’s all right. Your cousin was deliberately antagonizing you.”