Simple Choices (6 page)

Ida was quiet for a moment. With anyone else, I would have expected a stern “I told you so,” but that wasn’t Ida’s style. “My, my,” she said softly. “And how do her parents feel about this?”

“What do you think? They’re very disappointed. And not just in Hannah. They’re upset with me, too. Obviously, taking her to Wichita was a mistake. A big mistake.”

“Ach, liebling
. I am not sure you are right about this.”

I raised my eyebrows at her. “How can you say that? Hannah’s angry and taking out her frustration on her parents. She’s being a—a pill!”

Ida smiled. “Please understand that I am not saying Hannah’s actions are correct. God says in His Holy Word that children should respect and obey their parents. She is clearly in the wrong. But is it not better that the Muellers find out how Hannah feels now when they can still have an influence over her? Would it have been better for Hannah to have moved away from those who love her and then had this reaction?” Ida shook her head. “No. I am a firm believer in God’s promise that all things work together for our good for those of us who love Him and are called according to His purpose. Hannah loves God, Gracie. She will find the right way, and God will use this experience to teach her something very valuable.”

“I hope you’re right, Ida. I really do.”

“I am certain God’s Word is truer than the circumstances that surround us.” She peered into my face. “And I am also sure that it is time for you to forgive yourself. You have done nothing wrong. Hannah is responsible for her own choices. What you did for Hannah you did because you care for her. That was the intent of your heart. You must remember this. You gave up six weeks of your own life to help someone else.”

“Pastor Jensen preached about forgiveness this morning, and I know my heart was in the right place. I just wish I’d listened to you and the Muellers. You both warned me taking Hannah to Wichita might turn out badly.”

The elderly woman laughed lightly. “And do I look like God to you? My dear sweet Gracie, people have opinions about things. Sometimes they believe they know what is right, but God is the only One who really knows the truth. You must not always take my advice to heart. You had to make a decision, and you chose the path you thought was right. We all make choices we wish we could take back. But I think our Father does not like it when we feel condemnation for our mistakes. He paid the ultimate price so there would be no separation between Him and the ones He loves. Why do we want to turn our back on His gift of forgiveness and righteousness?” She smiled. “Long ago I became convinced that true humility is believing what God says instead of following what we feel or think. So when God tells me that there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, I humbly choose to believe Him—even if I don’t feel worthy of His acceptance.” She shrugged her thin shoulders. “Only one of these things is true. Either there is no condemnation—or there is. I must choose. And I choose His truth over mine.”

“That’s exactly what Pastor Jensen said. God must be trying to tell me something.” I reached over and hugged her. “Thanks, Ida.”

“Just remember that God loves you, child. Every minute of every day, and that will never, ever change.” She sighed. “And when you try to do something right, but it looks as if you were wrong, some people will misunderstand. I have certainly experienced this myself. That is why we must not seek to please people—but to please God. Trying to keep people happy with us is impossible and will always cause us unnecessary pain and confusion.”

“I love Abel and Emily so much; it hurts that they blame me.”

“Ach, no,” Ida said with a wave of her hand. “I am certain they do not really blame you. These are godly people who know it is not your fault. They are just worried about their little girl. You must not take their words seriously right now.”

“I’ll try not to,” I said, praying she was right. Abel and Emily were like family, and the idea of losing their friendship troubled me deeply.

“We must pray right now,” Ida said, grasping both my hands. “We must pray for Hannah.”

We closed our eyes and Ida began to pray. She thanked God for loving Hannah and giving her wisdom. She also prayed for peace in the Muellers’ home. As she spoke, faith rose up inside me, and by the time she’d finished, I knew God had heard her prayer. I felt a wave of calm assurance wash through me.

When Ida let go of my hands, I picked up the glass of lemonade she’d brought me. I was suddenly so thirsty I could barely stand it. “This is delicious,” I said after taking a long drink.

“
Ja
, my mother taught me to make lemonade,” Ida said. “I will tell you the secret.” She leaned over as if someone were listening, ready to steal her recipe, and sell it the masses. “It is honey.” She straightened up, a look of pride on her face. “My mother used honey and I use honey.”

I took another drink. It really was delicious. “It’s wonderful. Where do you get the honey?”

“I used to buy it from Abigail Bradley. Unfortunately, I am on my very last jar. She sold her hives several months ago due to her poor health. She could no longer keep her honey business going.” Ida frowned. “I do not believe you have met Abigail. She is a very private person. She does not leave her house anymore and has not done so for quite some time. Her neighbor gets her groceries when they buy their own, and they check on her when they can. However, in other areas she will not allow people to assist her. The house she lives in needs repair, but all offers to help her have been rejected. I assume it is her pride that compels her.”

Abigail Bradley. I’d heard the name before but where? Suddenly I remembered. “Sarah mentioned her once. She seemed uncomfortable talking about her though. I believe Sarah actually called her ‘strange.’”

Ida sighed and shook her head. “I understand how Sarah feels. Abigail is … unusual. But she has had a very hard and confusing life. Abigail is the only child of very strict parents. As a young woman, she spent many years in rebellion against them and their beliefs. Then she married a man named Bradley. During her marriage she chased after some very different kinds of religions. I believe her husband also had some odd beliefs. Now what was it …” Ida strained to recapture a fading memory. Finally she shrugged. “Oh my. I am not sure, but it was something unusual. If I remember right, spaceships were involved somehow.” She gave me a small smile. “It was the seventies. A very strange time in the world. There were many curious beliefs circulating back then.” Ida giggled at the look on my face. “You think I am so separated from the world, I do not know about the seventies?”

I grinned. “Nothing you know surprises me anymore, Ida. But I have to ask. Without TV or newspapers, where did you get your information?”

She chuckled. “Well, I like to visit with my friends at the restaurant, and they talk about many things.” She held a hand up to her cheek. “In fact, I have heard conversations in that place that would have turned my hair gray if it had not already happened!”

Her expression made me laugh. “Why Ida. You’re blushing.”

“You see,” she said, shaking her finger at me. “I am not quite as sheltered as you believed.”

I’d lived in Harmony long enough to know that whatever Ida had overheard would be considered incredibly tame by most standards. But to her it was probably scandalous. “So tell me more about Abigail,” I said, draining the last of my drink.

The old woman stood to her feet. “I will do so but first, more lemonade.”

After she disappeared into her kitchen, I gazed around the sparse but comfortable living room. I knew Ida missed her husband, but she had adapted without complaining and feeling sorry for herself. In fact, I couldn’t remember her ever voicing one word of self-pity. She was a remarkable woman, and when I compared myself to her, I definitely came up short.

“Here we go,” she said, as she came back with two glasses in her hands. “I had a lemonade earlier, but I have decided to splurge and help myself to a second one.” She shook her head. “Sometimes I think the honey stimulates me too much, but today I will not be concerned about that.” She handed me my glass and sat down again. After taking a sip, she placed her drink on the table next to her. “Now where was I? Oh yes. Abigail. After her husband ‘went off the deep end,’ as she put it, she left him and traveled, trying to
find herself
, whatever that means.” Ida’s forehead wrinkled in confusion. “I have no idea why a person would need to find herself. We are with ourselves all the time, ja?”

I grinned. “Ja.”

“Anyway, after running around the country for many years and becoming ill, she was taken in by a Mennonite couple who cared for her. Although they were not Old Order, their mother was. Abigail latched on to her like a puppy following its mama, I guess, although I am certain Abigail would express it differently. She told me the mother was her
mentor
. So, she adopted the Old Order ways.” She held her hands up in a gesture of surrender. “That is the whole story. To be honest with you, I feel she became Mennonite not because she believed in our ways but because our lifestyle reminded her of the parents she left behind. And perhaps she was also looking for a place to hide.” Ida frowned. “I do not want to escape from the world. I choose to keep my life free from distractions that may separate me from my precious Savior. However, I fear Abigail has a completely different reason for her choices.”

“But how did she end up in Harmony?” I suddenly realized I was no longer feeling hot. Hopefully it was because of Ida’s interesting story and not the first stage of heatstroke.

“Actually, the family she lived with brought her here during a visit to a relative who owned the house where Abigail now resides. When the family member died, Abigail bought the house and moved to Harmony with her son. Until then, the boy had been living with his father, but he died, leaving the child without a home. So Abigail brought him here, and he lived with her until he left for college. He moved away not long after your parents left Harmony. Abigail has stayed alone in that house ever since.” She rubbed her hands together like she was cold. “In truth, I was glad to see her son leave. He was such an unhappy boy. Abigail brought him up very harshly, with many rules and restrictions. Several people tried to help, to tell her she was hurting him. He became extremely withdrawn and would act out sometimes in town with the other boys. Unfortunately, after Abigail became frustrated with his behavior, she eventually kept him home almost all the time.” She rubbed her chin. “I remember that he had a girlfriend once. He was very much in love with her. A beautiful girl as I remember with hair the color of wheat and startling blue eyes. What was her name?” Ida stared into space for a moment. “Melanie, I think. Melanie Pemberton. But Abigail’s interference broke them up. The girl’s family moved away not long after that, and I never saw C.J. smile again. It was so sad. I was glad to hear he was going to college.” She sighed. “Higher education was discouraged back then in our group, but I believed C.J. needed to get away before Abigail broke his spirit.”

“Did Abigail know my uncle Benjamin?”

Ida nodded. “Oh yes. In fact, I believe Abigail had some interest in him as a husband. Benjamin did not return her feelings, but he was close to the boy until he left Harmony.” She smoothed out her skirt with her age-spotted hands. “Your grandfather did not like the boy, though. When they were young, he forbade your father and your uncle from spending time with him outside of school. I have no idea why, but Joe felt C.J. was a bad influence. I disagreed with him at the time because I felt C.J. needed good examples in his young life. Joe would have none of it.” She sighed. “Joe could have been such a help to the boy. To this day I do not understand why he could not extend a hand of friendship. Joe wouldn’t talk about it. So you see why I was happy when C.J. went away. I hope he has turned out right. He has been in my prayers for quite some time.”

“When was the last time you saw Abigail?”

“It has been awhile,” Ida acknowledged. “Our small group used to take turns meeting in each other’s homes, but then she refused to leave her house. We started gathering together at her place, but now our numbers have dwindled, and there are no more home churches. Most of us have chosen to attend Bethel, including the Ketterlings and the Voglers. That just leaves the Beckenbauer brothers and Abigail. The brothers have both been too ill to attend church, so Abigail has been alone. I have invited her several times to Bethel, but she has declined my invitations. She believes the church is too liberal.” She smiled sadly. “I have tried to talk to her about this, but it has been to no avail. I am not certain her standards are the only reason for her refusal. I think she is now too afraid to leave her home. The last time I saw her was in May when I hitched up Zebediah and rode over to see her.”

“Are you worried about her?”

“Well, as I said, her neighbors were checking on her and buying her groceries, but with the wheat harvest going on, I am sure they do not have the time to keep a close watch on her. I must admit that I am concerned.” She jabbed at her right leg with her finger. “This leg of mine has been so stiff and sore the last few months, and the trip to Abigail’s takes quite awhile. But that is no excuse. I will ride over to see her after I visit with your parents and grandfather tomorrow.” She clapped her hands together. “I am so excited. Do you know what time they will arrive?”

“Sweetie is hosting a big dinner tomorrow night to welcome them. One reason I came over was to invite you. Either Sam or I will pick you up around six if that’s okay.”

“Oh ja. I would love to go. But you do not need to worry yourself about me. I will hitch up Zeb and carry myself.”

“I thought perhaps Zeb would rather stay in his shed since it’s so hot. Wouldn’t that be better for him?” The horse was as old and decrepit as its owner. I dreaded the day something happened to him. Ida treated him like a dear, beloved friend.

“Well, you may be right,” she acknowledged. “If it would not be too much trouble …”

I stood up, leaned over, and kissed her cheek. “It would most definitely not be too much trouble. Now I must get home. I need to get to bed early so I’ll be bright and cheerful when my family arrives.”