Silvern (The Gilded Series) (18 page)

“It helped me find you,” I say.

“So the White Tiger orb actually seeks.” There’s a twinkle in his eyes. I kiss him on the mouth, then his forehead and then his nose. If we weren’t in this horrid, creepy place, I don’t know if I would’ve stopped kissing him.

We backtrack down the corridor. I try to listen to the “feeling” inside of me to know which way to go. My body tingles as if an electric shock from touching the orb still trickles through my bloodstream. Finally, we find the crevice again. I pause at the crack where we entered this insane tunnel in the first place. I press my palms against either side of the opening, the coldness of the rock cooling my skin.

Deep inside my heart, I know that when I step back outside, everything will be different, and I hope I can be strong enough to handle whatever we face.

When we finally squeeze our way back outside, the light of the day blinds me. Whites and blues and a rushing noise overwhelm me. I stagger and cover my eyes, trying to control the dizziness whirling around me.

Marc grabs my arm. “You okay? You look—”

“Yeah. I think.” I blink against the world to pull it back into focus. I press my hands to my face and check my body. “What’s wrong with how I look?”

“Your skin is glowing.” He brushes my cheek with his knuckles.

“You are back already?” Kang-dae says, spotting us and jumping off the rock he was standing on. “I was hoping you’d discover something.”

“What do you mean already? We were gone a while,” I say. “Maybe an hour.”

Marc and I look at our watches.

“My watch isn’t working anymore,” he says.

“Mine either,” I say. “That’s weird.”

“What happened?” Kang-dae asks, his eyes nearly wild with eagerness. He grips my arms with such intensity, I worry he’s going to pull them out of their sockets. “Did you find it?”

“Find what?” I tease, ripping myself free of his grip before taking off down the path.

Marc chuckles as Kang-dae catches up to me.

“You know what I’m talking about,” he says.

“Do I?” I grin as his face practically emits steam. “Fine. Yes, I did.”

“Let me see it.”

“Not now.” I glance around as we cross the bridge and pass a group of security guards. “This isn’t the place to be talking about it.”

“I saw it,” Marc says, strolling along with us, a big grin on his face.

“Did you, now?” Kang-dae says. “Well, this means war.”

I laugh along with them, but there’s something in Kang-dae’s tone that sends a whisper of worry curling through me. I think he actually meant what he said.

“Where’s Grandfather?” I demand from Chu-won when we return to the hotel. “He should be back by now.”

We found Chu-won and Michelle lounging in the lobby, sipping mango juice. It seems crazy to see them so relaxed and normal after the insanity we just endured, but at the same time, the scene before me calms me down. This is what I want for Michelle, to lead a normal life. My legs shake, weak as jelly. I collapse next to Michelle and take a sip of the juice she offers me.

“Did you have a nice sightseeing trip?” she asks.

I literally spit out a stream of juice. My face burns as I snatch a napkin to mop up the mess.

She lifts her eyebrows and sets her juice down. “It was a sightseeing trip, right? You better not be lying to me again.”

“It was great,” Marc interjects for me. “The falls were gorgeous.”

“Your grandfather has yet to return,” Chu-won says with a shrug. “Maybe he had some trouble with the officials. The last I heard was for us to meet him at the show tonight.”

Marc, Kang-dae, and I glance uneasily at each other. I’m not used to being away from my phone for this long and out of communication with everyone.

“I don’t like it,” I say. “Let’s head over to the Kumgangsan Culture Center early. I’ll feel better when I see him.”

“As you wish,” Chu-won says. “We can leave whenever you are ready.”

“Excellent,” Marc says. “We’ll get cleaned up and meet you back here in about fifteen minutes?”

After a short, lukewarm shower, I slip on a black skirt and a navy silk top, trying my best to look somewhat dressed up. I don’t take the orb’s pouch off, even in the shower, and I find myself clutching at the strings as if it might suddenly fall off or something.

As I brush the tangles out of my hair, I stare out the window. I have the perfect view of a town in the distance. The brown houses stand under the wash of the sunset as if forgotten by loved ones and weathered by harsh winters. A few citizens, small black forms that meld into the gray of their surroundings, stagger down the empty roads back to their homes. There are so few cars here that the roads are mainly used for bikers and walkers. It’s as if I’ve stepped back a hundred years.

Guilt tugs at my chest, knowing I’ll be sleeping in a warm, soft bed tonight, but the townspeople will never have that chance. It’s hard to really see the details of the town since we couldn’t bring any long-lens cameras into the country, but I can guess this is a typical North Korean town.

I send a prayer for them, hoping someday I’ll be able to come back and bring more medicine. My thoughts turn to Mom, and though she’s been gone for four years, it’s as if her spirit lingers, telling me that being here is the right choice and delivering this medicine is a small step in the right direction. I know there isn’t a single South Korean who wouldn’t rush through the borders and offer their blankets to these people. But sometimes walls of pain take a lifetime to break.

If only I could be there when they crumble.

Michelle rushes through the door, pulling me away from my musing.

“Tonight is going to be amazing,” she says. “They’ve got this fantastic acrobatic show.”

We head out the hotel lobby, past two guards, to where our small group gathers. Marc’s hair is still wet, slicked back. Kang-dae hovers by my side as if ready to pounce on anything that could hurt me. I shift uncomfortably as the two guys flank me, but I can’t blame them for being overprotective after today.

I listen numbly as Chu-won explains that we’re taking the bus to watch the acrobatic show, and while we’re there, we’ll get to present a document to a North Korean government official that explains in detail the medicine we donated. It’s more of a formal presentation, but it’s good for the press on both sides. Normally I’d be nervous about being on stage and meeting government officials, but I’m so exhausted after everything that has happened that I feel like I’m just dragging my body from place to place. The only thing keeping me alert is my worry for Grandfather.

“Afterward, we’ve been invited to a buffet dinner back at the hotel with the other tourists,” Chu-won finishes.

I’m pretty sure I’ll be snoring by then.

“For your safety, you must stay close to us,” Kang-dae whispers into my ear as we march out to our bus.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” I say. “I’m perfectly fine. Besides, who knows I have the orb?”

“The entire Spirit World,” he mutters grimly.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” I say.

Kang-dae doesn’t respond. Instead, he clamps his mouth shut, his jaw rigid.

As we step onto the bus, his words haunt me. What if he’s right? The plan was that if we found the orb, we’d try to get permission to visit the royal tombs of King Kongmin, a known sacred location, and we’d use the
samjoko
amulet to enter. I guess secretly I hoped Palk would send someone to come take me into the Spirit World. But hours have passed and no one has shown us the way, so I assume we’re on our own.

As we load onto the bus with a group of Chinese tourists to head to the acrobatic show, a lump of anxiety settles inside my stomach.

“I don’t know about you,” Marc whispers as we slide onto our seats, “but I’ve got a bad feeling about all of this.”

“After everything that has happened,” Michelle says, “I want to follow this whole mission through to the end. We’ve come this far. How can we stop now?”

I nod at Michelle’s words, but even still the hair at the nape of my neck pricks up. Maybe Kang-dae and Marc are right, but I refuse to verbally agree with them. I know it’s selfish and dangerous, but like Michelle, I want to present the medicine to the group. I want to be there when it’s handed off. Memories of those rows of brown houses, absent of color or joy, the patients’ smiles as they greeted us from their
yos
, and the wide brown eyes of the girl from the poster at the lantern festival still haunt me.

“It wouldn’t make any difference if I was sitting in the hotel room or going to the show,” I say. “If Kud wanted me, he’d find me anywhere. Besides, nothing has happened yet. Let’s not panic.”

Marc rubs the back of his neck. I grab his hand to reassure him, but he won’t look at me, and I know he’s annoyed at me for getting involved. His jaw works as it does when he’s upset.

“I have to do what I think is right,” I say.

When he doesn’t answer, I pull my hand away and slide closer to the window, swallowing back my own annoyance. The trees still hold their buds here, the land on the cusp of spring. I take in the mountains slicing the sky with their sharp edges. They seem so free of all the worries that I have bottled up, and I long for that feeling again. Deep down, I worry I’m making a mistake in undertaking this mission.

What if I’m not strong enough? What if I’m wrong?

I press my hand against my chest. The warmth from the White Tiger orb pulses against me.

Depending on me to keep it safe. To bring it to the right destination.

The bus jerks to a stop, and we shuffle off. I can’t stop glancing around at all the tourists on the bus, worried one of them might be a threat, but no one gives me even the slightest glance.

Across the parking lot, I spot Grandfather, his back straight as a rod, his hair cut to perfection. His blue button-down shirt whips with the wind.

I run to him, causing a few soldiers to start and step closer. But I don’t care, because he’s safe. That’s what matters. I bow awkwardly. This is one of those moments when a hug feels more appropriate, but completely inappropriate here in front of all these people and soldiers.

“Kang-dae is here,” I say in a rush of words. “He showed up at the falls not long after we arrived.”

“Yes, so I was told. Made the trip for nothing. All is well?” Grandfather rubs my cheek gently, his troubled eyes assessing me. “I hope you did not do anything risky.”

“I got the object,” I whisper, barely able to contain my excitement.

His eyes widen, and he takes my hand. “Truly?”

I nod. His lips press together, and he grips my hand as if he doesn’t want to let go. His eyes scan the parking lot. “No problems?” he asks.

I shrug and attempt a smile. “Not that we couldn’t handle. I think we’re safe. For now.”

“This is good news,” he says, looking back at me intently. “Unfortunately, I do not have such good news. I have been trying to negotiate with the authorities to let us access King Kongmin’s tomb, but with no luck. We must find another alternative.”

“That’s okay,” I say. “We’ll figure something out.”

Grandfather’s eyes move down to my neck and narrow. I look down, realizing I’m gripping the pouch with the orb protectively. I turn away, not liking Grandfather’s piercing gaze, as if he can read my thoughts. Despite all my faults, I hope I can see this journey through to the end. I have to put my faith in that.

Chu-won rushes over to us, waving his arms as if the building is about to explode. It turns out that he’s here to tell us the ceremony is about to start.

“Do you notice anything strange?” I ask Marc as we cross the parking lot and veer inside the domed, tan-colored building.

“No,” he says. He stops outside the door and studies the area. “Nothing.”

“Excellent,” Grandfather says. “Let us hope everyone stays safe until morning.”

Yet, even after Grandfather and Chu-won head inside, Marc lingers at the doorway.

“If all is well, why so worried?” Kang-dae asks, a smirk creeping across his lips.

“Because he’s completely paranoid.” I yank on Marc’s arm. “Come on, I don’t want to make a scene walking in late.”

“There’s something not right here,” Marc says. “I can feel it.”

“Ah. Is this your new power emerging?” Kang-dae hits Marc on the shoulder. “Jedi intuition?”

Marc scowls at Kang-dae.

“Knock it off,” I say, “or I’ll knock some sense into the two of you.”

I push Kang-dae through the door before they decide it’s best to fight this out. Inside, an attendant meets us and directs us down a hallway. She explains how we’ll come to the stage to present our gift, and there the director of the tuberculosis clinics, Gwangsoo Han, will accept it.

Michelle hooks her arm through mine and squeezes me. “This was the best idea ever,” she says. “I’m so glad we did this.”

I nod in agreement, my chest tight with excitement. So far, this whole mission has been a success. I wonder if I’d ever have done this if I hadn’t had to get the orb. Would I have continued on with my own life, not thinking about a whole country only thirty miles from where I lived? People die from TB every night, while I live in comfort.

All the kids in NHS flash through my mind, eager to make a change in the world. I’ve spent most of my life thinking only of my own troubles, and not just here in Seoul. After Mom died, I wallowed in my own misery. I’m hardly the person to be standing on that stage passing out the medicine. But here I am.

We follow the attendant through a narrow door and down a fluorescent-lit corridor. The pale light yellows our skin and washes out the colors of our clothes. Our boots click on the linoleum, breaking the silence of the corridors. Beside me, Marc’s tension grows. His body is stiff and his jaw tight.

“I don’t think I’ll ever look at long creepy corridors the same again,” Michelle mumbles, and she sidles next to Kang-dae, hooking her arm with his.

“What?” Kang-dae says dryly. “Now I’m your bodyguard? When will the demands end?”

We enter another door that takes us to a backstage area. I shake hands with the show director and nod respectfully to some of the performers.

They whisper and glance our way from the corners of the room. Their makeup looks overdone in the backstage area without the lights to fade it. Outside, the audience chatters in hushed whispers. There’s a sense of foreboding as we wait, and I can’t shake the urge to run.

Every sound becomes amplified. A ladder squeaks as it’s dragged. A girl dressed in a full
hanbok
giggles. The director’s clipboard clatters onto the wooden floor. I want to press my hands over my ears, but Marc is already doing his nervous tics. He’s rubbing and tapping his chin, and he can’t seem to stop looking over his shoulder and staring at everyone and everything. If I freak out, he’s going to cancel the whole thing.

Fortunately, Michelle breaks the crippling silence by going over to one of the actors and introducing herself. I stand frozen, afraid that if I move, the serenity will be broken. Kang-dae and Marc flank me. It’s becoming stifling, this constant shadowing. At least Kang-dae appears relaxed, lounging just behind me against the wall, a sly grin spread over his face.

“Why are you grinning?” I ask. “This isn’t funny.”

“If you saw it from my perspective,” he says, “you’d find it funny. It’s always about perspective, Princess.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“It annoys you, doesn’t it? You must be in denial.”

I dig my nails into my palms. I’m going to lose it between these two Guardians.

Finally, the director, dressed in all black with neatly combed hair, comes over to where we wait and directs us to follow him. I’m about to pass through the wings of the stage when I see a strange-looking bird sitting in the rafters above. It’s the oddest creature. A beak like a rooster, yet at the same time it almost looks like a swallow. The odd part is its neck, long and writhing like a snake.