Silver Linings (26 page)

Twisting around, Coco looked up at Hudson. She was nearly blinded by her tears. “What did Ryan say?”

Hudson shrugged. “Not what I expected. He said he deserved what I'd done and that he wouldn't take anything.”

Coco bit into her lower lip to control the trembling. “I hated him with a passion and hoped to use this reunion to pay him back for what he did to me. Before I could get out a single word, he apologized to me.”

“And me,” Hudson said.

“You?”

He shook his head as if he regretted saying that. “Never mind.”

Coco was left to wonder what it was Ryan had done to Hudson that required an apology. One day perhaps he'd tell her.

“Do you hate me?” she asked, her voice dropping to a whisper. He tried to show indifference, but she badly wanted to believe that was all a front.

“Hate you?” he repeated thoughtfully, and then shook his head. “No. I didn't think I felt anything toward you any longer, but now…now I'm not so sure.”

His answer made her smile.

He shifted restlessly. “We better get back inside.”

She agreed and sniffling once, stood, and followed Hudson back into the gymnasium. Almost everyone had filled their dinner plates and was seated at tables. The DJ had arrived and the dancing would be starting up soon. Coco had taken a glance at the song selections the reunion committee had chosen and knew it would be like stepping back into their high school days.

Right away, Coco looked for Katie and saw her friend sitting at the table with her head lowered. It didn't look like she'd been through the buffet line yet.

Hudson headed off toward his friends, but Coco whispered his name.

He glanced over his shoulder.

“I'm serious about that dance later,” she reminded him.

His eyes narrowed. “Coco, please, it's not necessary. I don't dance.”

“Just one dance. That's all I ask.”

He looked as if he was about to decline yet again, but Coco said, “One dance, Hudd, please.”

“I don't have the moves,” he argued.

“No moves required.”

He hesitated.

She held up one finger. “Just one?” She smiled.

Hudson's eyes grew softer. “You make it hard to say no…”

Her smile was wide and warm. “Thank you,” she whispered.

Katie and Coco were standing in line at the buffet table when Katie looked up and noticed that James and Emily were sitting at a nearby table with friends from high school. Their heads were together and they were laughing at some shared amusement. Looking at the two of them so wrapped up in each other produced a sharp physical pain, and Katie forced herself to look away.

Coco caught the direction of her gaze. “Remember what I said. James is looking for a replacement for you.”

Katie didn't believe it. She was a realist, and while she wouldn't argue, she knew she was right. She'd finally seen more than enough evidence to prove otherwise.

“Don't tell me you don't see it?” Coco argued. “You're about the same height, same coloring. She even wears her hair the way you did in high school.”

Coco might see it, but Katie didn't. Really, it would prove nothing, even if Coco was right. The woman James had chosen to marry was Emily.

In order to move on in her life she had to accept that James was lost to her. From this point there was no turning back.

They both helped themselves to salad, prime rib, and potato casserole, then made their way back to the table.

“I saw you talking to Hudson,” Katie said, once they were seated. She was eager to turn the subject away from her and James. “How'd that go?”

“Surprisingly well,” Coco said between bites of prime rib. “He's a lot different than what I remember.”

“He is?” Katie thought he basically looked the same as he had in the photo Coco had showed her in the yearbook. No question he'd filled out some, and he was dressed less eccentrically. But then in his graduation photo he'd looked older than his years.

“I'm dancing with him later.” Coco's eyes brightened with the prospect. “He hasn't exactly agreed, but I'll convince him.”

“No doubt you will.” Despite her own misery, Katie smiled. Coco had moved quickly from being a bit obsessed with Ryan to being a bit obsessed with Hudson. She was like that. She could be persuasive, that was for sure, and Katie felt confident she would get her dance. Her gaze drifted in James's direction, and to her surprise their eyes met and held for just a second before he determinedly looked away. Katie turned her attention to Emily Gaffney, his fiancée. She'd like to believe that James had chosen to marry the other woman because of their resemblance, but frankly Katie didn't see it. Okay, maybe the hair. Emily had curly red hair, too, but that was it.

Coco finished eating and was ready to hit the dance floor. Katie, who had only taken a few small bites, felt her stomach tighten.

The music had started up and already two or three couples had taken to the floor. James stood and reached for Emily's hand. Watching the two of them would be much too painful—Katie couldn't bear it. Not knowing where else to go, she told Coco she was headed toward the ladies' room.

Coco didn't stop her; Katie knew Coco could tell what she was feeling.

Outside the gymnasium, Katie wandered down the familiar hall. The school cafeteria was adjacent to the gym and she walked around the area until she found the very table where she'd once sat across from James as he tutored her in algebra.

She ran her hand along the top of one of the chairs and smiled. Memories floated by like they'd happened just yesterday: the first day that James had sat down on the chair next to her, instead of across the table. Their first kiss outside the swimming pool after that disastrous meet.

With her hand on the back of the chair, Katie closed her eyes and allowed the best days of their relationship to scroll through her mind.

He'd moved on and now it was time for her to do the same.

“It's you, isn't it?”

The disembodied voice came out of nowhere, and Katie opened her eyes and slowly turned around.

James's fiancée stood only a few feet away.

Katie's mouth went dry as she stared at the other woman. “I'm sorry?” she said, pretending she didn't understand.

“It's you, isn't it?” Emily repeated. “You're the woman James once loved.”

Once loved.

Emily moved a couple of steps forward. “He told me about you, but he didn't mention your name.”

“I'm Katie…we met earlier.”

Emily crossed her arms as if experiencing a chill. “I know. I should have guessed when I saw the two of you in that intense conversation.”

Katie wasn't sure what she should say, if anything. The best thing she could do, she decided, was to offer the other woman reassurances. “Don't worry. You have nothing to fear from me. What happened between James and me was a long time ago.”

“You broke his heart,” Emily said.

“Yes,” she responded sadly.

Emily moved even closer. “I told James I was going to find the restroom.”

“It's that way,” Katie said, pointing in the right direction. “Just around the corner.”

“It was a lie. I saw you leave and came to find you.”

Katie frowned. “Why?”

Rubbing her palms together, Emily glanced down at the floor. “I saw the look the two of you exchanged a few minutes ago. The longing and pain in your eyes struck me here.” She placed her balled fist over her heart. “You're still in love with him, aren't you?”

Emily was too smart; she had clearly seen through Katie. “Yes. I came to the reunion, hoping…but then I met you, and I could see that it was too late.”

Emily didn't say anything for a long moment, as if absorbing Katie's words. Slowly she walked over to the table where James and Katie had once studied together. “He didn't tell me a lot about the two of you, but I do remember that he said he'd tutored you in algebra. Was this where the two of you sat?”

Katie nodded. “It's the same table.”

Emily held her look. “How can you tell?”

Katie ran her finger over the slight depression, a small divot on the edge. When James had first started to tutor her, she'd lowered her head and focused on that slight imperfection. At the time she'd felt overwhelmed. She'd been convinced she'd never understand those mathematical concepts. James could have given up on her, but he didn't. For weeks, he faithfully met with her until she started to get it.

“He was patient with me, and kind. After a while he got over being annoyed having to tutor me.”

“And you were heartless.” Emily's voice was hard and angry.

Katie's head snapped up at the emotion in the other woman. “Not heartless. I had my reasons.”

Emily's short laugh was more scoffing.

Without fully understanding why or how she knew, Katie looked at Emily and said, “Someone you once loved hurt you badly, didn't he?”

It all made sense now.

The attraction between James and Emily had nothing to do with any physical similarities between the two women. What they shared was loss. They had each been forced to give up someone they had once loved.

Katie knew she'd hit the mark when Emily's eyes widened as she shook her head. And while she might want to deny it'd happened, she couldn't. “That was years ago and long forgotten.”

“High school? College?”

“College.” She didn't elaborate.

Katie could see that Emily struggled to hide the truth and was in no mood to divulge the story. The other woman's throat worked in an effort to swallow the pain.

“It's not so easy to forget, is it?” Katie asked, her voice dropping to a whisper.

“Like I said, it happened a long time ago.”

“Time is relative.”

Emily's shoulders stiffened, and when she spoke it was with conviction and determination. “I'm marrying James.”

“Yes, of course. I…believe you'll make each other happy.”

Surprise showed in Emily's face, and Katie understood that, too. “You have nothing to fear from me. James has made his decision.”

The other woman held her look for a long moment, and then to Katie's surprise she pulled the chair away from the table and sat down and she motioned for Katie to join her. Once she had, Emily placed her hands in her lap and said, “I need to know why you hurt him.”

“There's no need—”

“Please.”

Katie swallowed hard and resisted. “It's in the past. It doesn't matter any longer.” What a strange and unexpected conversation to be having with James's fiancée.

“It matters to me. I need to know.”

And so Katie told her, doing her best to keep it short and explain what she could. Looking at Emily was difficult, so she focused once more on that small impression in the table, just as she had ten years earlier.

Emily listened and interrupted only once with a question. When Katie finished, the other woman remained silent.

“And you?” Katie asked.

“Me?”

“Who broke your heart?”

Emily shook her head. “It doesn't matter; like we keep reminding each other, it happened a long time ago.”

“No fair,” Katie protested. “I poured out my story to you; the least you can do is tell me yours.”

Emily lowered her head and rubbed her hands back and forth. “Jayson's parents disapproved of me.” She paused and then added, “I wasn't raised in the same faith as him and his mother in particular insisted that Jayson marry in the church. It was a difficult decision for him because I believe he genuinely loved me. In the end he did what was right.”

“Right for whom?”

“For his family and for Jayson. He's married now to a woman who shares his religion. Last year he mailed me a birthday card and told me his wife was pregnant.”

Talk about a knife to the heart. “That was a bit insensitive, don't you think?” Katie asked.

Emily shook her head. “The truth is I was glad for him. I knew that he felt terrible about what had happened between us, and the hard decision he made to break up with me. He hoped to hear that I was happy, too, in order to ease his conscience. I let him know that I'd fallen in love and was about to be married myself.”

Katie smiled, though tears filled her eyes.

Emily frowned and leaning forward, she placed her hand on Katie's arm. “I'm sorry…what did I say?”

“No, no, it's fine…I'm the one who should be sorry.” Embarrassed, Katie smeared the tears across her cheek. “You see, I understand. I so, so understand. You loved your Jayson enough to want him to find happiness. You realized that he never could be with you because there would be this constant pull between his faith, his family, and his love for you.”

Emily bit into her lower lip. “Yes, I want him to be happy.”

Katie gripped the other woman's hands in her own, squeezing her fingers. “Don't you see? That's why I can promise that you have nothing to worry about between James and me. I love him enough to want the same for him. Make him happy for me, Emily. Love him for me.”

Tears shone in Emily's eyes and she wrapped her arms around Katie's shoulders and the two of them hugged.

Footsteps sounded behind them.

Neither Katie nor Emily broke off their embrace. Their hearts were linked with understanding and shared loss.

“What's going on here?”

Katie didn't need to turn around to know it was James who'd spoken.