Silent Night: Vampire Holiday Romance (The Night Songs Collection Book 4) (2 page)

"I know," he said quietly. He didn't break his gaze. I should have been creeped out, but honestly, I think I would have been disappointed if he‘d said or done anything else.

I didn't know how to react, so I looked down to the hymn book in my lap, scrambling to find the page with tonight's mass program on it. What the hell was going on in this church?

"Have you been here for Midnight Mass before? It's a beautiful service," Aidan continued, either oblivious to or feeding off of my awkwardness.

"No. I used to go to church with my grandmother, but it's been a while." I stole a quick glance up at him again. Had I waited on him at work? That wouldn't make this any less weird. I worked at a lingerie store. Either he was shopping for someone else, or for himself. That happened more than you’d expect. And with the people you least expected. Either way, I shouldn't get involved. He looked at least fifteen years older than me and more than a couple of tax brackets richer.

But he probably had a nice, warm house to go to after the service. Maybe a condo in a triple decker. Or a high rise apartment. Single family houses were few and far between in Boston. If he had one, he had a family. I fought disappointment at that thought.

Kyndra, you will not follow some strange man home on Christmas. No matter how much you think you know each other. No matter how good looking and put together he is. That's how you wind up in pieces in a cardboard box in some random lot. That’s how you became the lead off story on the nightly news.

"My grandmother brought me to church when we were kids, too. I miss that. I can't find services in French around here."

"You're from France?" Oh, this guy was just too much.

"No. Quebec," he said with a chuckle. Okay, that was better. There was nothing sexy about Quebec. "But I try to stay true to my nature."

"And what is that?" I was intrigued. He seemed sincere, but I was beginning to think he was just a compulsive, lying weirdo alone at church on Christmas Eve. "And where is your family tonight?"

"I like to take care of people," he said without any pretense. I wanted to roll my eyes so badly, but still, he seemed to mean it. And I could use some of that.
Stop thinking like that
, I yelled at myself silently.
You're just going to get yourself in trouble.

Maybe that's what I want,
my inner dialogue continued defiantly.

My family is scattered throughout the country," Aidan continued. "What about yours? You're not all alone on Christmas, are you?" The service was about to start and the pews began to fill. I had to slide in, so close our legs touched.

I panicked, not knowing how to answer the question. He'd know if I lied to him. He knew too much. And I didn't know why.

"It's not so bad." I didn't look at him, or the book. I stared blankly ahead, watching families file into their seats. The blur had to be unshed tears.

"No one should be alone on Christmas." Aidan squeezed my hand, but neither of us had a chance to say more before the service began.

Two

To say I had no family wasn't exactly the truth. I didn't have any family that really gave a crap about me. The aunt I used as a scapegoat had mentioned me coming over for Christmas when she called me a couple months ago. She pretended to care what was happening with me, but come on. She knew I didn't have any place to go or any money. Every time we talked, she just asked me what I was going to do about it. Way to help out, Jackie. And my mom was someone who flitted in and out of my life bringing more disappointment than comfort. That's how I wound up living with Memere in the first place.

The service started at exactly the right time. This Aidan guy had me in a tailspin. I put all my energy into singing along with the choir, but I was exhausted already from working all day. I couldn't stop thinking about what would happen when church closed up shop for the night. The cold radiated off of Aidan like a premonition of things to come.

I snuck glances at him while the priest spoke. He seemed to have no problem getting lost in the sermon about why Jesus came to earth as a human so we could identify with him. But why did I identify with Aidan? He looked over at me and smiled. I did my best not to meet his eyes. When we had to shake hands and offer peace, he held my hand in his for longer than he needed to.

I didn't know if I couldn't wait for this to be over or if I never wanted it to end.

Aidan followed me up to communion. I didn't look back at him, but I was very aware of his presence, his body, behind me. He walked just a little too close, his breath sent shivers down my spine. I blessed myself and went back to my seat, looking around at the rest of the congregation. The kids looked restless, and the parents tired. They probably still had hours of playing Santa ahead of them. I sat down, painfully aware that my time here was drawing to a close.

The priest bade the congregation to go in to the night in peace, to celebrate this great day when the Son of God was born. Jesus was born in a manger because there was no room at the inn. I was a little closer to a recreation than a celebration.

I smiled at Aidan as I wrapped my scarf around my neck a second time. "Have a good night," I muttered before looking for my getaway.

"Wait." He reached for me as I turned to leave the pew. "Do you want to get coffee? The diner down the street is open all night."

Two warm things that sounded wonderful. "Even tonight?"

"Even tonight. I checked. Come on." Aidan hooked his arm for me to loop mine through his. I giggled nervously as I did it. So was this some weird plan of his? Troll Catholic churches for conflicted girls desperate not to be alone?
I didn't have any better offers on the table.

Much to my surprise, we weren't the only ones at the diner. Who the hell goes out for breakfast in the middle of the night on Christmas Eve? There were college aged kids, old people, and people who looked a lot like me: far away from their family on this lonely night.

"Order whatever you want. My treat." Aidan looked over his menu at me. His skin looked almost porcelain under the harsh fluorescent light. "Did you eat dinner?"

"I had pizza at work."

"Pizza is not a proper dinner," he almost scolded. "Do you usually have turkey on Christmas?"

"Never." I turned up my nose. I just met this man. I wasn't sharing all my traditions with him. “Turkey’s gross.”

"Tourtiere?" He raised an eyebrow.

I nodded, scarcely able to hide my shock.“How did you know?“

Aidan smiled sadly. “That’s what I always used to have. Lucky guess.”

"What do you have now?" I wanted to turn the attention away from me. Out of all things, how did he guess
that?

"I'm not hungry. I'm just going to get some tea." He looked up and smiled easily at the waitress. I bet she would have gone home with Aidan tonight, no questions asked. I ordered orange soda and a tuna melt.

Aidan laughed as she walked away. "That's not very Christmasy."

"Neither is being in diner with a complete stranger in the middle of the night. At least it's very diner-y."

"True." He smiled. "So what do you do that requires you to work on Christmas Eve?"

I cocked my head at him as I took a long sip of my soda. He said he knew who I was, but he didn't know where I worked? I wanted to keep my cool, not only because I didn't want Aidan to know he was spooking me, but because I was starving and I really wanted my sandwich. I could make a break after I ate. "I'm a sales lead at an underwear store."

"Do you like that?" he asked as he dunked the teabag carefully into the mug of hot water. Instead of looking at him, I watched the string go up and down.

I almost laughed. "Not really." My mind flashed back to the throng of impatient last minute shoppers that afternoon, who’d thought it was some sort of conspiracy that their top choices were long gone, wrapped up under someone else's tree.

"Then why do you do it?" It was a perfectly good question. For someone who lived in fantasy land.

"Oh, I don't know. Survival, I guess." My dinner came out and I dove in for a fry. I loved diner fries so much.

"How's that going for you?" he asked without any hint of sarcasm.

"Pretty shitty." I concentrated on the activity around him. If I looked at him, I'd cry again. I didn't want to think about what got me here right now. I just wanted to enjoy this damn tuna melt since I might not see any more food until I got back to work in more than twenty four hours.

"Where will you go after this, Kyndra?" Aidan brought my attention right back to him. He seemed legitimately concerned, but since he was so much more adult than me, it felt like judgment.

"I don't know," I whispered, pulling my napkin out of my nap to dab the tears from my eyes. I sniffled and looked back up at him, forcing myself to smile.

“You don’t have any plans for tomorrow?” Aidan didn’t seem to understand what I was saying.

“No.” My answer was sharp. Sharper than he deserved. Maybe Aidan deserved the explanation I refused to give everyone else, even if it was only so I didn’t have to spend the rest of the night on the sidewalk. "I messed everything up. I pushed everyone away, but I didn't want to be alone."

"You wanted someone to save you," he said, almost to himself more than to me. "From yourself."

All I could do was nod. The waitress brought me another soda, getting in and out quickly. It was no secret she'd chosen an awkward moment to check on us.

"I don't need to be saved." I focused all my energy on my bravado. "And I don't need to be judged."

"I'm not judging you. I know what it's like to be an outsider." His expression softened. “You seem like an old soul.”

”I’ve heard that before.” Maybe he did understand after all. "I just didn't want to explain why after eighteen years, I suddenly had to make new plans on Christmas. I didn't want to watch some other happy family celebrate and open presents. I want to mourn what I've lost. I just wish everyone would let me."

"Is that really what you want?"

"No." I was going to cry again. "I just want it all to go away. I want to hide from the world until Christmas is over."

I didn't know what to think about this night. This strange man knew so much about me, but nothing about me. And somehow, he was the only person I’d been able to tell the truth. Was he like one of those people on late night TV, reading my facial expressions to guess my situation? I mean, it was all pretty obvious. I only liked to think no one else knew I was a mess.

"You can come with me." Aidan put his hand up as my face faded and I was about to protest. "I won't hurt you. I know my promise doesn't mean much right now. You don't know me. But it's a warm, safe place to stay. I already know you don't have a better offer." He looked down at my plate. "And you can bring your leftovers."

I brightened. Sure, I was scared out of my mind, but I think I trusted him. Through this whole ordeal, I liked to think I’d learned to read people well. Hopefully Aidan didn’t disappoint me. And to be perfectly honest, I’d done a lot worse for a place to sleep under much better circumstances. This was an awful lot of work to hurt someone. So I tested him. "Can we watch
A Christmas Story
?"

"We can watch
A Christmas Story
. As many times as you want."

Deal.

Three

My first guess was right. Aidan lived in a triple decker. His condo was cozy, a little cluttered, but still manly. He led me to the chocolate brown leather couch that I sunk down in. He brought out a pile of blankets and a pillow, placing them on the far cushion. He might have been as uncomfortable with this as I was. He had yet to sit down.

"Do you have anything to sleep in?" he asked, still moving around nervously, making me even more anxious. It felt wrong to be sitting there, just watching him.

"Just what I've got on." I left pajamas at some of my friends houses for when I stayed with them. Other than that, I just made do. I never needed anything at Matt’s house. "It's fine, I've done it before."

"No, it won't do. I'll get you something." He headed down a hallway and I tried to make myself relax. After all, this is where I’d be sleeping. A worn dark red Oriental rug covered the wood floor. A fireplace had wood waiting to be burned. The huge TV sat silently in the corner. The walls overflowed with books, floor to ceiling. Books overwhelmed the end tables and spilled out onto the floor. I had to be nosy and check out some of the titles. If it wasn’t for the awkward circumstances that brought me here, I would normally feel really comfortable in a room like this. It was nothing like my old apartment, but it still felt like home.

"You like to read." Aidan was back in the living room already. I hadn't heard him return, so I jumped at the sound of his voice. "I remember that."

Um, what? The little hairs on my neck stood straight up. "You remember what?"

"Nothing, nothing." He shook his head. "Here."

He handed me a crimson red Harvard T-shirt and a pair of gray running shorts. He led me to the bathroom, which smelled like eucalyptus and mint, and I changed into his gym clothes for the night. When I went back to the living room, Aidan had turned the couch into a bed and switched the TV on to my movie. Now he worked on lighting the fire.