Silence (21 page)

“
She’s such a sweet thing,”
Emili had half-whispered as they walked through the
trees.

Sheikoh glanced over at her, unsure if
she’d been addressing him or talking to herself. Emili caught his
glance and tousled his hair.

“
You’re sweet too. Even
though you spend your half time as Silence.”

Emili’s gentle voice hardened around
his street name.

“
I know stealing isn’t
sweet, but it’s the least I can do for us all,” Sheikoh muttered,
abashed and looking to the side.

Emili pulled him into a one-arm
hug.

“
I know Sheek, I know. I
just wish you’d repay me and Dad-

Emili hesitated.

“
-Me
and
Alimiat-
“

She shook herself tiredly.

“
I wish you’d pay us back
by living a normal life.”

“
Yeah, I wish you were
normal too,” Sheikoh responded, with mock concern

Emili giggled and pushed him into a
stumble.

“
You know what I mean,” she
insisted.

“
How do you know what I
know, Emi?”

“
Well, make sure you got
the important thing down,” Emili smiled. “You’re one of the Wrays.
For as long as you want to be.”

The words touched him deeper than
Emili’d intended.

Sheikoh felt his eyes water, and
strange, warm emotions whirled around inside his chest.  He
bit back a choke, determined not to let his tears fall. His eyes
didn’t listen to him though; stinging tears sat at the edge of his
vision and threatened to jump the cliff.

No.

Not here, not in front of
Emili.

Hardened criminals like Silence don’t
cry.

Sheikoh looked away and tried to think
about something else. His thoughts landed on the Namars, who’d
stood to the side and let Chain torture him. That made his eyes
sting even more.

He owed Emili everything he was. She’d
saved his life, as he lay dying and taken him in when he’d had
nowhere else to go. She’d provided for him along with her sister
and father, kept him from starving on the street. And she’d given
him love at a time when he’d been completely alone. The Wrays had
saved him in so many ways; Emili and Dorothi had quickly become
Sheikoh’s moral compasses.

Everything had seemed so simple and
picturesque, until the patterns were torn before his eyes, ripped
into seams of hatred and despair. Sheikoh’s soul was scarred as his
body, sliced open with veins of darkness. Now Emili and Dorothi
were the two constants he had left.  

Sheikoh was glad when Emili pulled him
into a hug.

“
Thank you so much Emili,”
he whispered into her ear.

He let a single tear spill down his
cheek. It tickled a line of his face, as though trying to cheer him
up.

“
There’s nothing to think
me for. I would’ve done it for anyone,” Emili whispered back,
assuming he was referring to her life-saving surgery on
him.

Sheikoh didn’t bother correcting
her.

They walked through the trees in
companionable silence. They wandered until the old cabin was out of
sight. Surrounded by bushes and trees, it was a sea of green. Furry
animals he’d never seen before darted from secret holes and skimmed
the edge of shadow. Sheikoh’s eyes followed them every
direction.

Emili cleared her throat
uncomfortably.

“
But there was a reason we
took a vacation out of Interium,” she told him in a different tone
of voice.

Sheikoh felt her eyes on him. Curious,
he met her pale, concerned gaze.

“
You know that I’ve been
hearing rumors about Silence,” Emili went on carefully. “The
assassin Silence.”

“
Sheikoh?” Emili looked at
him seriously. “What have you gotten yourself into?”

Sheikoh’s chest lurched with shock. He
bit his lip, and his eyes fell to the ground.

“
We have enough money to
survive!” Emili exclaimed, angry now he’d confirmed what she’d
heard. “You don’t need to hire yourself out-“

“
I’m not hiring myself out
as an anything!” Sheikoh retorted, hurt sparkling in his
eyes.

“
Then what the hell are you
doing?” Emili demanded. “Why is Silence a tagged
killer?”

Emili’s severe voice echoed in the
dense greenery. Emili’s eyes narrowed a little bit. She looked at
him with a cold expression he’d never seen her wear before. Like
she didn’t know who he was.

Suddenly, Daneil’s face stuttered over
Emili’s.

Hard lines of anger matched up
perfectly.

No
.

Sheikoh’s chest exploded with pain.
Memory burned Daneil’s words into his chest, and rejection coursed
through his veins.

Not
again
.

Ghosts of the words that’d torn him
apart had him in their icy grip once again.

Sheikoh opened his mouth a fraction,
but he couldn’t make a sound. His heart raced, and he began to
hyperventilate.

Why couldn’t he do anything
right?

He tried so
hard
.

“
Sheikoh?” Emili
prompted.

Sheikoh’s throat closed up and
strangled his words.

Why had Emili even saved him? She
should’ve let him die. He’d rather die than feel her hatred. Living
wasn’t worth so much pain.

Sheikoh got it; he was
subhuman.

He wasn’t worth loving.

He wasn’t worth
anything
.

“
It was… I… Chain… I
killed… her,” Sheikoh finally managed.

He closed his eyes and retreated deep
into the core of his self. There, he suddenly found that he could
say the words from the outside, as though they didn’t apply to
him.

“
The night you saved me,”
he murmured. “I went over to the Lake and Arrow, that one bar, and
I found her. Chain. I snuck behind her, and I just…
stabbed…”

Emili nodded slowly.

Seconds stretched, as Sheikoh waited
for reply.

Emili’s hand whipped across his face,
and pain burrowed into his skin. The air resounded with a smack.
Teardrops were torn from Sheikoh’s eyes. He stumbled
backwards.

Despair weighed him; he tripped over a
foot. Wind rushed through his hair, and he bounced; it hadn’t hurt
as much as he’d expected, his impact had been softened by a
bush.

Sticks prickling his back, Sheikoh
closed his eyes, and he prayed he might disappear. There was
nothing left for him. Everyone he’d ever loved had tossed him to
the side.

Images flickered across his eyelids,
the imagined faces of his birth parents, the hard-eyed Namars, and
now Emili, his angel and savior.

The angel had judged him
unworthy-

A pair of soft hands wrapped around
his shoulders. Sheikoh opened his eyes, blinking away blinding
sunlight. Above him was Emili’s silhouette. She pulled him into a
rough embrace. Her cheek was wet against his, and Sheikoh suddenly
realized that Emili was as well.

After a few heartbeats of confusion,
Sheikoh uncertainly returned her embrace. He held her with fragile
reverence, as though terrified that she might break in his grip.
Emili choked out a strange sound.

“
Don’t ever… don’t do that
to me,” she mumbled.

Sunlight haloed Emili’s gold-spun
hair, and tears dripped down her gentle face. Warmth rose in
Sheikoh’s chest.

He stared at Emili curiously,
cautiously, and told a piece of absolute truth.

“
I would never do anything
to hurt you,” he promised.  

The words resonated with sincerity,
and sudden connection snapped through the walls Sheikoh had
unconsciously built around Emili. In that moment, she became more
to him than anyone else ever would.  

“
I know you wouldn’t,”
Emili hiccupped, hand dashing over her eyes. “I know.”

Sheikoh took her in, seeing Emili as
if for the first time. Her golden hair glowed brighter than a
lighthouse and framed her two crystal-blue eyes with perfection.
Gentle freckles flitted across her soft skin. Behind her frown,
smile dimples lilted her face.    

Lightheaded, he mentally framed this
perfect picture.

Sheikoh touched her hand, and his
chest leapt with a feeling reminiscent of fear. Only, he liked it.
A lot, actually.

“
Emili, please don’t cry.
I’ll never hurt you,” whispered Sheikoh.

“
I’m not scared of you,
Sheek,” she assured him. She looked up at him with wide,
soul-touching eyes. “I’m scared for you.”

“
There’s nothing to be
scared of,” Sheikoh murmured soothingly.

He wrapped her in another warm hug.
Emili shook him off though. She looked into his face, and her eyes
scoured the depths of his being. He stood stalk still under her
scrutiny.

“
I’m scared, because when
you told me that you… that you killed her, you said it in a voice
that wasn’t yours. I know this sounds crazy… but it sounded like…
like Silence had… had possessed you …” she murmured slowly, working
it out as she went.

Sheikoh opened his mouth to answer, to
deny her words, but he froze. Then he closed his mouth, thinking.
When he’d frozen the center of his being, cut off the emotion
stopping him from answering Emili, that’d been exactly how he’d
silenced the emotions that hadn’t wanted to let him kill Chain.
Sheikoh suddenly realized he wasn’t sure who’d spoken those
words.

Silence?

Sheikoh?

Did his two personas exist
simultaneously in him, or as two separate entities? One good and
the other evil? He focused on a blue-grey squirrel in the distance
that pawed through the ground. He strained his thoughts, dissected
them and tried to figure out what detail made him, him.
 

How deep did the roots of a name
really stretch? How was he supposed to know where he ended and
Silence began?

Was a being dependent upon the
judgments of others?

“
Sheikoh,” Emili murmured
lifting his chin.

His pupils met hers, desperate for the
amelioration her tone implied.

“
When I heard about what
you did… A little eight-year-old hero, who risked his life against
Redline, I was, like… I was overwhelmed.”

“
Somewhere along the line I
had stopped believing in good people, but when I heard what you
did… I just knew there was no way I was going to let you die. I
dragged Alimiat from his test tubes so we could save you. I was so
scared you were gonna die but you didn’t. You lived,” She
whispered.  

Sheikoh looked on, and hope rose in
his chest.

“
You’re
that boy. A hero,” Emili told
him. “
My
hero.
Don’t ever ever
ever
give up that part of yourself. Not for anything.
Ever
.”

Her crystal eyes sparked with a wave
of feeling.

Sheikoh wanted more than anything to
soothe her, to tell the angel before him that he was still that
hero, but he wasn’t. He’d become something darker. He would still
do anything for Emili, but he couldn’t find it in himself to lie to
her. The wounds he’d suffered at Chain’s hands were deeper than
skin, muscle, or bone; she’d ripped his former family to bits, torn
the veil of innocence from over his eyes. She’d gouged out a piece
of his soul, and he’d killed her for it.

He would never play the hero again. He
had no desire to pretend to be the protector. Heroes were hollow,
cardboard figures that never killed and never died. No real-world
person would ever cripple themselves with those
stipulations.

Reborn from the ruins of failure,
Sheikoh had transcended the limitations of a hero. He was a
predator. A murderer. He knew that if anyone were ever to threaten
either of the Wrays girls, he would kill again.

And he would do it with a
smile.

Emili could see he wasn’t going to
fill the pause.

Her face tightened the slightest
bit.

“
Just don’t forget who you
are. No matter how many people call you Silence the assassin or
praise you for every crime you’ve ever pulled off, and no matter
who sees your metal parts and calls you inhuman, never forget… Your
name is Sheikoh… You’ll never grow out of the boy that stood up for
what’s right…” Emili had urged him intently before trailing off.
Sheikoh had looked back and nodded at her.

“
I promise, and I will
never stop looking after you until I’ve paid you back everything
you’ve given me,” Sheikoh slowly murmured.

Emili’s answering smile made his chest
glow.

He was glad he’d been able to twist
the truth enough to make her happy. Nonetheless, he would never be
able to pay Emili back for everything she’d done for him. Not even
if he spent his whole life trying. Not even if he outlasted the
world and everyone on it. The gift she’d given him was
priceless.