Authors: K. J. Janssen
Jason Miller announced his arrival over the intercom.
“Come right up,” Maggie said as she pressed the door buzzer.
She opened the door.
“When are they going to fix that damn elevator? It’s been out for four months now.”
“Five, but who’s counting? The building manager says it needs a special part that breaks so seldom that they don’t stock it in the States.”
“Haven’t they heard about air-freight, for god’s sake?”
“I don’t know,” she said with an annoyed voice. “Is that all we’re going to talk about tonight? Get in here so we can try out that MMLD”.
“Well then, let’s get used to calling it by its underground name, Marco. I promise you, Marco is gonna blow your mind.”
“It does sound kind of sexy.” Maggie was wearing a knee length silk nightshirt, which was her normal attire once she got home from a long shift at the hospital. Even though the nightshirt was loose fitting, the outline of her breasts was unmistakable. She knew it, but it didn’t bother her. After all Jason was an ex-boyfriend. He’d seen it all many times.
She had already placed two purple capsules in a small bowl on the cocktail table next to two empty wine glasses and a bottle of red wine that was breathing in the stale air of her apartment. “I got a bottle of your favorite red. I thought we could wash these babies down.”
“Well, I’m ready when you are.”
“Wait a minute. Let me start the music.” She had chosen Ravel’s
Bolero
because of its exhilarating crescendos. She set the equipment so that the record would repeat.
They both popped the pill into their mouths with a grand flourish, followed by the glass of wine. Another glass followed. They put the glasses down, closed their eyes, and settled back on the couch. There was nothing left to do but wait until the granules in the capsule took their circuitous path to their brains.
Two hours later, Maggie awoke. She opened her eyes and found herself almost eye-to-eye with Jason. Her body tingled where it made contact with his skin; both were naked. She stayed in that position for several minutes, uncertain as to what would happen if she suddenly moved. Jason was unconscious and breathing heavily. Across the room the haunting strain of
Bolero
continued its voyage. She relaxed and took it all in, suddenly feeling waves of ecstasy traveling through her, causing her body to shudder and stiffen for a moment.
Oh, my god, that felt so good. It was like a massive
climax.
Maggie waited for the next passage, hoping to repeat the feeling, but this time she just felt the tingle ending in a brief spasm.
Finally, she raised herself up and stood by the couch looking down at Jason’s manhood. She
picked up a small blanket to cover him. As she did, he began to stir. He blinked his eyes as he struggled to focus on the naked form standing over him, then down at his own body. “Maggie? Is that you?”
She sat down on the couch and reached for his hand. “Of course it is, silly. Who else do you go tripping with?”
“Oh, right,” he said as his mind raced to make sense of a situation where he and his best friend were buck naked on her couch. He rubbed his eyes with his hands. Recovering focus, he glanced at the clock on the wall; it was ten-thirty. “That must have been some trip. I didn’t even notice the drug taking over. It was like when they administer twilight sleep. One second you’re here and the next thing you know you wake up and it’s much later.”
“What an interesting way to describe it. I just came back just a few minutes ago.”
Jason’s face suddenly turned red. “I do remember making love to you, but of course I dream a lot about that.”
“I’ll bet. Look, I don’t want to talk about it until my mind is clear. Let’s shower, get some eats, open another bottle of wine, and share our experiences.” She got up to turn off
Bolero
just at the beginning of another play. At first, since the opening passage is soft and low, she wasn’t sure if the piece was even playing. She hit the off switch and took off for the shower.
A half hour later, showered, nakedness covered by robes, hunger sated, and glasses filled, they settled back on the couch to compare their psychedelic experiences. “Why don’t you start, Maggie?”
“Okay, but you jump in if you had the same experience or if you have any questions. I’ll start by saying that I’ve never in my life ever tripped like that. It was the most awesome feeling.”
“As soon as I closed my eyes I started to feel the blood circulating through my body. I mean I actually could feel it anywhere that I concentrated on. You know, like when you drink water and you can feel it running down your throat and down to your stomach. It was like that. Then my thoughts switched to the music. As each crescendo began, I saw colorful oscillations. The most beautiful mixture of colors and patterns wildly swirling together as if they were a musical/colorful impressionist painting; but not static; I wanted it to be static, but I knew I could never capture it long enough. The swirl was amplified by an odd bitter-sweet taste in my mouth and by enhanced bodily sensations. I wanted to jump into the swirl and get caught up in it. I wanted it to toss me around like a leaf falling to the ground during a windstorm. I wanted it to enter my body at every portal. I wanted it to violate me; to take me as its own. It was all so beautiful and yet frightening.”
Maggie was surprised at the passion of her feelings. She took a sip of wine before continuing. Jason sat quietly, enthralled by her every word. He momentarily forgot his own experience as he listened to her.
“My thoughts transitioned time; the past and future blended together and became meaningless; of no use to me. What I was experiencing, I was experiencing in the
now
. My body craved attention
now.
I remember running my hands over my body, looking for some type of satisfaction. Then I saw you standing off in the distance. You looked like Michelangelo’s statue of David. I wanted you. I called to you, but you couldn’t hear me. I tried to get up and run to you, but my arms and legs were frozen still. Then suddenly a large dark form approached and began to engulf me. A part of it entered me and started pounding my body to the cadence of the music. Finally my body felt a massive burst of ecstasy and I screamed out your name and that’s when I resumed consciousness. I found myself on top of you. We were both naked and you had a rock hard erection. We must have been making love.”
Jason smiled. “See, even on a psychedelic trip you can’t get away from me.”
“Don’t flatter yourself, lover boy. Remember you were off in the distance, immobile as a statue.”
“Don’t you mean rock hard? If it wasn’t me, how come you woke up on top of me?”
“Okay, you got me there.” She took another sip of her wine and turned to him. “So, tell me what yours was like.”
“It started about the same. I let myself get lost in the music for a while. Then it got uncomfortable. I could actually sense my blood. It felt as if it were boiling inside my body. When the sensation reached my brain I felt like dunking my head in water to cool down. As quickly as it came on me, the sensation went away and I felt calm and serene. Images I couldn’t make out were swirling all about me. I remember trying to catch one, as one would chase a butterfly, but to no avail. As soon as I got close they would go faster until I eventually gave up. I saw a beautiful meadow with a single tree in the center. I went over to the tree and lay down beneath it. The bright sunshine played across my face as the soft wind gently separated the branches to let the rays play through. The sensory ebb and flow of the sunlight sent spasms of delight throughout my body.”
“That’s when the eerie music started. I was listening to it from the beginning, but now it was taking on a physical form. Notes and clefs and staffs suddenly took on life. They rushed at me from every direction as would a swarm of bees, but instead of stings they simply pelted my body. Gently at first, but as time went on they got larger, heavier, and more painful. I cried out for them to stop and as quickly as the barrage had begun, it ended and all was peaceful and calm again.”
“I stood up and looked around. Suddenly I was no longer in the meadow, but deep in a dense forest. My head started to spin as I cried out for help. In response, birds chirped, shrieked, and fluttered about. Animals made all sorts of weird sounds and the wind began to howl. It was getting dark and I knew there was no way I was going to make my way out of the forest on my own. That’s when you appeared, calling out my name. I wanted to go to you, but my feet became rooted to the ground. You beckoned for me to follow you, but the more I tried, the stronger the roots became. Then just as suddenly, my body changed into a large black form and the earth released me. I chased after you and when I caught up, we made passionate love. That’s it.”
She picked up a magazine and threw it at him. “Liar!”
“Well, maybe the part where I became a large black form isn’t true. To tell you the truth I can’t recall anything after I got rooted to the ground. It’s all a blank, except somehow I must have caught up to you, because it looks like we did make love. I just don’t remember it.” He smiled. “You would think that would be the part I’d remember best.”
“Yes, one would think that.”
“So, what’s your overall assessment about Marco?”
“It was kind of cool. I’d do it again. How about you?”
“Sure, but I think we should wait a while before we try them again. After all, we don’t know that much about the drug. There could be some side-effects we don’t know about.”
“The card they came with classified it as a psychotic drug. It’s my guess that any patient who takes it every day must have serious mental problems. Still, the underground uses it like LSD. I can understand that, the way we reacted to it.”
“I’ve never had LSD, but from what I’ve read about it, what we experienced was very similar.”
“So, let’s cool it for now? There’s no sense taking any chances. We can try it again in a couple of weeks.”
“That sounds like the best plan.”
“Good. Now let’s finish this wine and call it a night.”
Richard was in the operating room at Wallington General when the message came in. The text read:
An operating room has been reserved for Dr. Parsons for eight-thirty on Wednesday. Please confirm that this message has been received.
Richard stared at the phone for several minutes. He knew the day would come when they would call, but he kept wishing it would be later, or maybe they would find another way for him to pay off his debt.
His thumbs typed out the reply. The chips were down, so to speak.
***
He arrived at the clinic around eight in order to check out the operating room and equipment. The receptionist greeted him and handed him a one page outline on his patient for the evening.
“Good evening, Dr. Parsons. You’ll be operating in room 1C tonight. Here’s a profile on your patient.”
“Thank you.” He took the sheet of paper and headed down the hall to the operating rooms.
Richard stepped into 1C, checked the equipment and instruments. Everything was sterile and wrapped. He found it to be well equipped and cleaner than most such rooms in clinics.
He stared at the profile sheet for a few minutes.
So, this is what it comes down to. I perform
a surgical abortion on a woman I’ve never met; someone I won’t be permitted to discuss the pros and cons of the procedure and its potential lifetime repercussions with. This is a terrible price for me to have to pay. God, this would kill Dad if he ever knew.
He read the patient’s profile:
Name: Marsha Marsh
Age: 23
Address: On file
Telephone Number: On File
Weeks Pregnant: Ten
Months Pregnant Confirmation: Ultrasound
Initial Check-up: Outlook good
General health: Good. Slightly elevated BP
Interview: Procedure discussed, patient compliant
Release Form: Signed. On File
Visiting name: Ms. White
As he finished reading the sheet, a nurse entered the room.
“Good evening, Dr. Parsons. I’m Nurse Betty. I’ll be assisting you this evening.”
“I’m glad to meet you. Are you an RN?”
“Yes, I am, and I’ve assisted in twenty-four of these procedures.”
“I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to imply that you were inexperienced.”
“Oh, that’s all right. I wasn’t insulted. I would have been disappointed if you hadn’t asked. Is this your first procedure here?”
“Yes, but I’m board certified. I’ve performed just about every type of abortion there is over the past few years.”
“Well, every one that I’ve assisted in has been a straight surgical procedure. We’ve never had any complications. The patients are carefully screened and examined before any operations are scheduled. The Clinic management is very professional.”
“How long have you been with them?”
“About three years now. This is a part-time job for me. I work full-time at a nearby hospital.”
Richard wondered if the hospital could be the one where Maggie worked, but for reasons of anonymity he didn’t pursue the matter.
“If it’s all right with you, I’d like to go over the procedure that we’ll follow. I’ve discovered over time that every surgeon operates differently. I just want to be sure we’re in-sync.” She smiled. “I’ve seen some unique procedures in my day; mostly by the older doctors. They don’t seem to take to the new equipment.” She thought for a moment. “By older, I mean doctors that are in their sixties and seventies.”
He smiled at her obvious effort to be tactful. “Well, that’s certainly understandable. So much has happened since they went to medical school. I’m sure that many of them are in private practice and haven’t gotten updated over the years. They will be operating ‘old school,’ not that there’s anything wrong with that. Women have had abortions safely since the advent of modern medicine. Basically, the only things that have changed are the instruments and pre-operation testing.” He paused. “And of course there have also been big changes in hygiene.”
He spent the next ten minutes going over his modus operandi with Nurse Betty. That done, he headed to the rest area to get a Coke, and Nurse Betty went to the reception area to attend to her pre-admittance duties. Richard thought,
I guess I should be grateful that I got Nurse Betty to help me and not someone like Nurse Ratched.
At zero hour he and Nurse Betty were back in room 1C. The receptionist opened the door and introduced a woman as Ms. White. It was a very apt pseudonym for the woman standing in the doorway. Her skin was ashen, as if she had never spent a moment in the sun. She was noticeably nervous, as was Richard. Only Nurse Betty had the advantage of familiarity with the clinic, the operating room, and the clandestine nature of the situation.
Richard observed the patient.
She looks petrified. Thank god it will all be over in about twenty minutes
.
I’ll just apply my best bed-side manner
.
Well, here goes.
“
Good evening, Ms. White. I’m Dr. Parsons and this is Nurse Betty. She’ll be assisting me tonight. Please come over here and sit on the table while I go over a few things. First, did someone go over the procedure with you that we will be doing tonight?”
“Yes, they did, and I took the medications they gave me.” Suddenly her demeanor took a one-eighty as she blurted out, “Look, can’t we just get this over with?”
Taken aback with the change in her attitude, Richard responded, “Of course we can, I was just doing my job.”
So much for bed-side manners.
“Well, then do it. I didn’t pay three thousand bucks to sit around here and chat.”
Richard looked at Nurse Betty and motioned to her to get the instruments ready. Ms. White had already lowered herself onto the operating table and placed her feet in the stirrups. Her behavior
shouted,
Hurry up and get this finished. I have a life to live and it doesn’t include hanging around
this place.
Addressing his patient, he said, “I’m going to insert several dilators now. You may feel some cramping during this procedure. That’s normal and will stop as soon as they are removed.” When the last dilator was inserted, Betty handed him a pointed plastic tube, which he inserted all the way up the uterus. It was connected to a suction machine. She waited for the doctor to signal her and then turned the machine on.
Richard began to rub the tip of the cannula over the surface of the uterus in order to loosen the placenta and sac containing the fetus. The lining of the uterus, the placenta, and fetus was then vacuumed up and transported into a glass bottle. He stopped the procedure long enough to examine the contents of the glass; ascertaining that everything had been removed. The “aspiration” abortion was complete and he removed the instruments.
Ms. White removed her feet from the stirrups and started to rise. “Is that it?”
“Hold on just a minute more. I need to do a post-operative pelvic exam.”
“Whatever,” she said, with as much attitude as possible. She placed her feet back into the stirrups.
When he finished, Richard reminded her that she had to wait at least an hour before leaving. When he asked if she had a list of “do’s and don’ts for post abortive activity,” she said, “Look, Doctor. You’ve done your job. I’m on my own now and I don’t need any advice from you how to live my life.” No sooner had she finished her outburst that she suddenly burst into tears.
Nurse Betty motioned to Richard that she would take over from this point. She helped Ms. White to her feet and guided her out the door to a small Recovery Room next door.
Richard scrubbed up and put his jacket on. He wanted to exit the clinic as quickly as possible.
He completed the required forms and gave them to the receptionist on his way out the door. As he started to push the door open, he turned and said to the receptionist, “Please thank Nurse Betty for me. Tell her I appreciate the fine job she did tonight. Goodnight now.”
The night air was refreshing. He breathed it in as if it was his last breath. He got in his car and as he reached to start it, he had a flash of something Ms. White had said,
I didn’t pay three thousand bucks to sit around here and chat.
He dialed the casino. “Mr. Steele, please. Tell him it’s Dr. Parsons.”
After several minutes, Steel picked up. “Mike Steele here.”
“Mr. Steele, this is Dr. Parsons. I just left my first patient. Don’t worry, everything went well, but she said something that’s bothering me. She mentioned that it cost her three grand. You told me my tab would be reduced by twenty-five hundred. What’s going on?”
“Well, if you must know, I‘m not providing this service to my client for nothing. They lost the services of Ms. White for several weeks all because she forgot to take her daily pill. They wanted me to teach her that there are consequences for not following the rules. Twenty-five hundred goes to your tab, five hundred goes to me for miscellaneous expenses and as part of the deal, my client provides free escorts for some of my big rollers. Okay, I tell you what. I was going to keep that five hundred as a fee, but I like you, and out of respect for your father and all the money he’s left on my tables over the years, I’ll apply the whole three thousand to your debt. How does that sound?”
“I told you to leave my father out of this. He has nothing to do with the mess I got myself in. Thanks for the extra money. I appreciate it. Look, I’m a bit tired, so I’m going to say goodnight now.”
“That’s a good idea, Dr. Parsons. Go home and have a few drinks. Let me give you some advice. I’ve learned over the years that when you have an unpleasant job to do, it’s best to keep things impersonal. Don’t get involved in these women’s lives. It can’t lead to anything good for either of you. Okay? We’ll be in touch.”