Shy (21 page)

He eases off me, then cuddles me close with my head resting on his shoulder. We hold each other without words, savoring the joy of lying naked together, bathing in our mutual afterglow. But after just a little while, he turns toward me and captures my lips in a luscious, deep kiss. I feel ready to go again. I can never get enough of Jake.

He moves up alongside me, and he's already huge and hard. Without preamble, he rocks into me, hard and deep. This time, though, I make him roll over, and I sit on top of him, bouncing up and down, slicking up the length of his shaft. His hands cup my breasts as they bounce along with the rest of me, and with the frenetic pace I set, it isn't long before we're shuddering and groaning together again, reaching peak intensity, delight, and pleasure.

When we're lying together, spent, he says, “Wildflower, you've blown my mind.”

“I don't think I have a mind left,” I say.

We kiss again, a deep kiss which neither of us wants to stop, so we just lie there together, kissing and kissing, and again, I feel a stir inside me. Before we go again, though, there's something I want to tell him. “Jake.”

“Wildflower.”

“I love you. I've never stopped loving you. I never will.”

He kisses me yet again, then kisses my forehead and my cheeks and even my eyelids. “Precious Wildflower, there's nothing I want more than to love you forever and ever.”

Tears spill down my cheeks, tears of joy. “Jake, I feel the same way.”

He pauses a moment, and a small shadow crosses his face. Fear stabs at my heart. “Is something wrong?”

“No...” He pauses a moment while the shadow passes. In its wake is tenderness with a bit of melancholy. “Wildflower, are you sure I'm good enough for you? Am I what you really need?”

It's my turn to kiss his forehead, his cheeks, his eyelids, and I also kiss his nose. “You're more than good enough for me. You're the love of my life. I know I will feel that way even when I'm ninety-nine. And we're good together. Please don't think you're not good enough for me. That isn't your real voice, your real feelings. Deep down, in your heart, I think you know better. I think you've always known better. You know how I know that?”

He shakes his head, but in his eyes I see tentative joy, waiting to burst through all thoughts of clouds.

“Because we're together right now,” I say. “If you hadn't believed in us, in the rightness of our love, we simply wouldn't be here together and we wouldn't have consummated our love. But now that we have, guess what?”

“What?” He kisses my nose and I feel his hardness stir against my leg. Oh, rapture! And I'm having deep, wet tingles between my legs. We'll be at this all night. And most of tomorrow morning, I hope.

“There's no turning back,” I say.

“No turning back,” he echoes as though for emphasis, and I love how it sounds in his deep, steely voice.

He rolls on top of me and I know we'll make sweet love the rest of the night. My body fills, yet again, with Jake and with the incomparable pleasure and excitement he brings to me. My heart also fills to overflowing. Despite what other people have said to us and what they've tried to make us believe about ourselves and each other, our love is what matters most. Our love is ours to choose.

Forever, if we wish. It's up to us.

What's right is right, and nobody can tell us any differently.

Yes, I'm shy. But I am also brave. Courageous and determined. Best of all, I'm me, and I am loved.

Thomma Lyn Grindstaff gets some of her best ideas when hiking in the mountains. She’s both a novelist and a musician: a classically trained pianist, singer-songwriter, guitarist, and composer. Other passions include Zen practice and studying philosophy, science, and spirituality. Last but never least, she’s a cat wrangler. She shares her home with four Ballicai (also known as cats). If you could sum Thomma Lyn up in three words, they would be Artist, Seeker, and Adventurer.

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If you enjoyed
Shy
, check out
Crossroads
, a novel by Thomma Lyn about Monie Bloomfield, who's soon to graduate college and go to law school, but she's no longer sure that's the life she wants. When she has a chance to join an up-and-coming rock and roll band as lead guitarist, it means leaving Rob, the love of her life, behind. Monie must weigh the security of her old path against the excitement of her new one and make difficult, heart-wrenching choices that will change her life forever.