Just before dawn. I woke with a start. It felt like someone had nudged my shoulder with his or her forefinger. I sat up and listened. The house was dead quiet, but I thought about Mammy. What time did they return? I had not heard a sound. Was I in that deep of a sleep? Too curious to fall back to sleep. I rose, put on my robe, and quietly made my way out and to Mammy's room. The door was shut, but I opened it very quietly and peered in at her bed. There was enough light pouring through the window to set it outlined and to clearly see that she was not in it, that she had not been in it.
My heart did a flip. Where was she? I closed the door and listened and then returned to my bedroom, but I was unable to fall asleep. I lay the listening for someone. I finally heard the maid moving about downstairs, so I rose, washed, and dressed as quickly as I could. When I descended, she was preparing the breakfast table.
"Have you spoken with Mrs. Curtis already?"
I
asked.
She looked at me as if
I
had asked her if she had been to the moon. "No. Miss."
"I just wondered," I said. I went outside and walked to the garage where I saw the car. If the car was back, where was Mommy?
I went in and to Evan's room, knocking on his door.
"Evan? Are you up yet?"
"Yes," he said and opened the door. He was dressed and in his wheelchair. "I thought I'd come out for breakfast today. Did you have a good time last night?"
"Yes, Evan. Why wouldn't you answer when I knocked? I wanted you to meet Barry and he really did want to meet you very much."
"I wasn't in the mood for company," he said quickly and wheeled himself into the hallway. "Did you have breakfast already?"
"No."
"Good. You can tell me about your evening, if you want," he said.
"Wait."
He paused and looked at me, puzzled by my tone.
"My mother," I said.
"What about her?"
"She's not back. The car is back, but she isn't."
"Oh." He smiled and looked up as if he could see through the ceiling. "Auntie Charlotte's work. I'm sure,' he said.
"What do you mean?"
He started to wheel himself toward the dining room. I followed quickly.
"Evan? What did you mean?"
"I told you how she was always trying to fix my mother up with someone, arranging dates. Maybe she thinks she's Cupid." he said and turned sharply into the dinning room. "Good morning, Nancy Sue. I'm starving today. How about some eggs and grits?"
"Very good. Master Evan."
"Just call me Evan. Nancy Sue. I've asked you a hundred times. I'm past being a master this or that," he lectured. She looked more amused than upset and left to prepare his food.
"What are you saying, Evan?" I demanded. He shrugged.
"She went to a party where my aunt Charlotte introduced her to some fine gentlemen or gentleman, and you say she's not back. It's not rocket science. Rose. '
"My mother isn't like that," I said, shaking my head.
"My mother wasn't either," he said. "But here I am." He gazed out the window, "Here I am."
More frightened than furious. I spun on my heels and marched down the hallway and up the stairs. I went to Charlotte's closed door and knocked. I heard her groan so
I
knocked again.
"What is it?" she cried.
I opened the door and stepped into her bedroom. She was still in bed, the comforter drawn to her chin. With the netting over her hair and her pale face peering over the blanket at me, she looked like some sort of space creature.
"What is it? Something happen to Evan?"
"No. Where's my mother?"
"Oh," she said. She struggled to get herself into a sitting position and reached for a glass of water before responding. "She's not in her room?"
"No."
She smiled.
"She'll be back soon, I suppose," she replied. "What do you mean? What happened to her?"
"Nothing she didn't want to happen to her. I expect. She and Grover enjoyed each other's company far more than even I had anticipated. She accepted an invitation to see his family's Atlanta apartment and they left the party. I waited for them to return, but," she said with a smile. "she didn't."
"Are you saying my mother spent the night with a man she has just met?"
"Your mother is a grown woman. Rose. Don't you think you're being a bit overly dramatic about this? She's still a young woman. Let her enjoy what's left of her youth and beauty,
"What she or any woman in her state doesn't need is an anchor tied to her legs in the form of a neurotic daughter."
"I'm not a neurotic daughter!"
"Good. Then all will be well. Would you please ask Nancy Sue to bring me some black coffee and some ice water? Thank you," she said, lowering herself back under her comforter. She closed her eyes to indicate that the conversation was at an absolute end.
I stared at her, fuming, and then left, closing the door a bit too hard, for I heard her groan in dismay.
Mommy didn't return until late in the afternoon. Evan and I were out on the rear patio. I was reading and talking about Hamlet with him because it was a play my class had already done and I had to read and understand quickly. He had gone on the Internet and printed out some very helpful study guides, and he had read the play himself. His understanding of the language and the metaphors amazed me. Sometimes when he spoke or explained something I had missed, he sounded like my teacher at school. I told him so. I could see he was proud and enjoyed the compliment.
"You set, Evan. You do have a lot to offer people. You've got to stop living like a hermit, an electronic hermit with your computer as your only window to the world. You've got to interact with people, too."
"People disappoint me too often," he said. "So? You'll meet other people who won't." He stared at me for a moment and then nodded.
"Tell me about our father," he requested. "I mean, really tell me everything. I want to know the silliest, smallest details about him."
"Okay," I said. Despite it all. I loved talking about Daddy. I closed my eyes and brought up the visions of him I most cherished. I described his gestures, his smile, the cologne he wore, his funny expressions, some of the impulsive things he had done and would do. I went on and on and when I gazed at Evan. I saw a soft smile on his lips
"The way you make him sound. I can almost understand why my mother became involved with a married man. He was a snake- charmer. I guess. if I had met him. I would have been forced to like him myself, even though I wouldn't approve of him."
"I think so. Evan."
"Thanks," he said and sat back. That was when we heard Mommy's laughter and voice.
He looked at me sharply.
"Don't make her feel like a sinner," he warned, "I did that to my mother sometimes, and I've always regretted it."
"I just want to know exactly what's going on here," I said, jumping up.
I heard all the conversation coming from the living room and hurried to it, where I found Charlotte sitting across from Mommy and a tall, dark-haired man with a mustache like Clark Gable, a strong square chin, high cheekbones, and a dazzling pair of the most beautiful hazel eyes I had ever seen. He was long-legged and trim and wore a dark blue blazer and a pair of light blue slacks with blue boat shoes.
"This must be Rose," he said before I could speak.
"Yes, it is," Mommy said. "Hi, honey. I'd like you to meet Mr. Fleming."
"Please, call me Grover." he said. rising. He extended his hand. I glanced at it and at Mommy and then shook it, letting go so quickly anyone would have thought his was full of thorns. Charlotte was beaming from her chair.
"Hello," I said, forcing the word through my tight throat.
Nancy Sue entered with a tray, carrying three glasses of champagne. "All, wonderful,'" Grover declared. He handed Mammy hers and I saw by the way she looked up at him that she was lost in his eyes. It made my heart deflate like a balloon. Charlotte took hers.
"Thank you. Nancy Sue. Rose, would you like anything?" she asked sweetly enough to make my stomach churn.
"No, thank you," I said quickly.
"How was your date. honey?" Mommy asked. "Very nice," I said. "I tried to wait up for you."
"Where's Evan?" Charlotte quickly asked.
"On the patio. We were studying Hamlet together."
"Ah, to be or not to be... for me, there is no longer a question," Grover declared, his eyes on Mommy, who looked like an adoring teenager. He tapped her glass with his.
"Why don't you see if you can talk poor Evan into going to a movie this afternoon?" Charlotte suggested. She turned to Grover. "The child either has his nose in a book or his eyes glued to a computer screen. He doesn't get out of the house."
"Oh?" He turned to me and smiled. "If anyone can get him out. I'll bet it's you. Rose," he said and laughed a tight, small laugh that made my nerves tremble. Mommy looked like she enjoyed every breath he took.
Couldn't she see how smooth he was? He slid around the room with his eyes, his gestures, and his smile like some eel, titillating both Charlotte and Mommy. He used his good looks well, with confidence, even arrogance,
"Don't worry about us," Charlotte continued. "We're going to a dinner party."
"Another dinner party?" I blurted, looking at Mommy.
"Yes," she said, exploding with excitement. "Isn't it wonderful?"
I looked at Grover, whose eyes were on me, darker, more expectant and analytical, waiting for my reaction. Charlotte was her usual smug self.
"I don't know, Monica," I said with words sharp enough to cut ears, is it.
I turned and left the room. Charlotte and Drover's laughter felt like small rocks thrown at my back. Evan took one look at me when I returned to the patio and simply said. "Uh-oh."
I didn't respond. I kept marching off the patio and down the path, my head down, my heart thumping.
Evan wheeled himself behind me and caught up when I reached his tree. He didn't speak. He watched me sulk for a few long moments.
"I like being with you," I finally said, and I wanted to get to know you very much. but I think living here is a big mistake."
"It's hard. I guess, to see your mother with some other man. You keep thinking about your father. I didn't have that problem," he added. "but I didn't like her being with anyone anyway. I guess I had the old Oedipus complex, huh?"
"I don't mind her finding someone else. I don't want her pining away in some attic, dying like an old, frustrated widow," I said sharply. "That's not it. but...
"But what?"
"I don't know." I shook my head. I didn't know exactly. I looked down at him. His eyes were intense, glued to my face.
"There's something not right." He smiled.
"Something's rotten in the state of Denmark," he said, quoting one of the lines from Hamlet we had just discussed.
"Exactly." I said. I looked back at the house. "Exactly."
In the months that followed. Mommy's social life continued to grow. There were strings of days when we didn't even see each other, and if there were some dead spots, some days or nights when it appeared there were no dinners to attend, no shows to see, no art galleries and openings to appear at. Charlotte always managed to come up with something for them to do, some additional shopping, some elaborate lunch. She bought Mammy more clothes, more costume jewelry, more shoes. They traded outfits. They became almost inseparable.
Maybe out of anger or out of frustration and nervousness.
I
devoted myself to my studies and to the dance lessons Miss Anderson conducted, Soon, it was just the two of us remaining after school. She told me she was a frustrated choreographer and loved the idea that she now had a student with whom or on whom she could experiment. Her idol was Bob Fosse. She had videotapes of his work that we watched together. When she explained and demonstrated something and
I
tried it, she was always pleased.
"You've got something. Rose." she said. "You pick all of it up so easily, and you've got the looks and the legs. Think seriously about this." she advised.
Evan was very supportive and very excited for me. He decided we should create a dance studio and had Nancy Sue and Ames clear everything out of the guest bedroom down the hall from his room. He even ordered some large wall mirrors to be installed. Charlotte didn't oppose it or even acknowledge it with much more than a simple. "How delightful. Rose. You're getting him interested in something other than himself and his dreary computer."
When Mommy learned about it, she recited almost the exact words, but she rarely stopped by to see me practice. Evan would spend hours with me, sitting in his wheelchair and watching me run through the warm-up exercises and routines.