Shiver Sweet (18 page)

“It’s okay to cry,” Nicola heard Christa say.  “I know you loved him.” 

Nicola whipped around and sprinted down the hall into the toilet where she burst out crying, needed the release.  She splashed her face and neck with cold water and then returned to the living room.  “I’m so sorry.  This is awful.  What can I do?”

While hugging Sarah, Christa glanced up, her eyes raw and shining.  “Why has this happened?”

Nicola shrugged.  If only Christa knew the true insanity of it all.  Pain twisted deeper inside her as the vision of John on the kitchen floor and the bloodied knife in Nicola’s hand flickered into her mind.  There were no words, but she had to say something in case Christa grew suspicious of her unusual silence.  After all, John’s death shouldn’t affect Nicola quite so
deeply.  “B-but I... Anything I can do.  Anything.  Just tell me.”

She’d have to question Christa about the words ‘My duty’ inked into John’s body later, away from Sarah.  Christa clearly knew
something
about it.

Nicola tried to swallow the monstrous hunk of worry in her throat.  John was already dead.  Why did those men need to do such a stunt at all?  And why loop Brian into it?

“I guess the police will be able to tell us more once they’ve examined the body in more detail,” Christa said, sniffing back her upset. 

Yeah, like your husband is full of stab wounds.

“Oh, maybe I shouldn’t have told them about the divorce.  I mean, what must they think?”

“They’d have found out anyway,” Nicola mumbled.  “His parents would have told them.” 

Christa rocked Sarah in her arms.  “We’ll get through this.  Together.  Everything’s going to be all right.  You’ll see.”

Nicola’s stomach, her shoulders, her neck were all tightly-pulled knots as she grabbed the flash drive from her back pocket and raced into Christa’s office.  If she was correct and this was a warning, she couldn’t waste another second. She had to finish uploading the software to all of the customers’ computers.  Quick.  Then do – she shuddered -
something
to entertain viewers.  Before they pulled another stunt with someone she did care about; someone who still had breath in their lungs.

CHAPTER 21

CHRISTA

I stared at the boarded kitchen window, remembering the good times John and I had shared over the years; our beautiful wedding day with Sarah as a bridesmaid, soaking up the sun in Spain, buying this house and getting excited about restoring it to its former glory.  Oh, my... I sighed.  Our marriage hadn’t all been bad, and John had been an excellent step-dad to Sarah.  Christ.  And now he was dead.  That was the last thing I’d expected when the police knocked on my door.

“You okay?” Nicola asked, rinsing her hands at the sink.

“It seems silly now, Nicola,” I mumbled.  “But, at first, I thought the cops had come around to...” 
Oh, shit.  Thank goodness I stopped myself.  What a disrespectful thought at a time like this.

“To what?” Nicola asked, turning to face me. “Christa?”

“Forget it.  This is far worse.  How could anyone do such a thing?”  John’s murder was so hard to process.  I didn’t want him in my life anymore, as a husband, and if I’d caught up with him yesterday I’d possibly have throttled him, but it still hurt so very much and left me feeling empty.  “And the deadline... well, this explains why he never contacted me.”

“There are some nasty people in the world.”

“Nasty doesn’t even begin to describe it.”  Wanting to swap my brain for one which didn’t teem with depressing thoughts, I scraped a chair across the kitchen tiles and stepped on it.  “I’ve been meaning to clean these cupboards for weeks.  They’re filthy.”

“Christa, now is not the time for cleaning.”  Her voice lowered to a mumble.  “I just wanna curl up and sleep.”

“It’s therapeutic.  I need to take my mind off things.”  Oh, I couldn’t bear to think about what horrors John must have gone through for a moment longer, and I had to stay strong for Sarah.  I opened the corner cupboard first and removed all the tinned food, slamming them down on the worktop in pairs.  A packet of peanuts sat at the back.  I ripped the plastic packaging open and tossed a few nuts in my mouth.  I crunched down and a wooden saltiness exploded across my tongue.  But really, I could have used a sugar boost.  I offered them to Nicola.  “Have you eaten today?”

She shook her head.  “Kinda lost my appetite.”

Once the shelf was empty, I squirted anti-bacterial spray inside the entire cupboard and scrubbed vigorously with a cloth.  Anxiety buzzed through my entire body.  “It’s filthy.  We live like pigs.”

“It’s not that bad,” Nicola said with a sigh.  “You’re just stressed.  Please come down.”

I opened the next cupboard, emptied its contents onto the crowded worktop, scrubbed the interior then moved onto the third.  By now, my right arm ached in protest, but the muscle burn actually felt good.  “Sarah’s devastated.  My parents are totally shocked.  Here’s me worrying about John telling Sarah about her real dad, and all the time he was... was dead.”

Nicola, who was checking the sell by dates on the tinned food, looked up at me.  “It’s so sad, and frightening.  Are your parents coming round to see you?”

I shook my head.  “I told them not to.  If I see them I’ll probably break down and I have to be strong for Sarah’s sake.” 

“Good.”

“Good?”

“I just mean... never mind.”

Swear words rolled off my tongue as an image of John laid flat on a cold table in a morgue flashed into my mind.  “I didn’t want him to die.  I-I made a... birthday wish this morning.  I only wanted him to stop making my life miserable.”

“Christa, your wish didn’t cause this.” 

“I know.  But still, I can’t help feeling guilty.”

Nicola tapped my knee.  “So... listen.  I’ve been meaning to ask you something ever since the police left.  When the cops mentioned those words on John’s skin.”

I shivered.  “Yeah.”

“I kinda got the impression that you knew something about that.  Do you?”

Nicola’s probing gave a firm yank on my heart which was no less crowded than before I started cleaning.  I scrubbed harder then handed her the cloth.  “Rinse this, will you?”

Nicola rinsed it in the sink and handed it back.  “Well, what’s the story?”  Her words were strangely brusque.

I pushed the cloth across the underside of the shelf, scrubbing with brute force. “I’m sure it’s nothing.”  I tensed, opened my mouth then closed it again.  Her burning stare meant she wouldn’t drop the subject. 

“Christa!  Speak for God’s sake!  What are you keeping from me?”

I turned and plopped my bottom down on the worktop.  It was probably common to connect oddities together under stressful circumstances, but this struck me as beyond coincidental.  “Okay.”  Her persistent stare wheedled it out of me.  “It’s that text from Claire as well...  I mean... I don’t believe for one moment that Brian had sex with her today, but–”

“Oh no, you don’t believe her, do you?  That she and Brian...  Jeez.”

“It’s not just that that’s...”

“I get it.  You think there’s unfinished business.”

I gave a little nod.

“But forget that, tell me about those words on John.”

“I was getting to that.”  I launched the cloth into the sink and stared into her eyes.  “Before Brian dropped me off at lunch time, he told me not to sign the divorce papers.  He said, and I quote, ‘there’s always a way around or through a problem’.”

“Yes, there’s more than one way to skin a cat, but–“

“I hate that phrase.”  Under the circumstances it was quite fitting.  “It’s just something Brian said to me last night.  Sounded... weird.”  I paused and wiped my arm across my brow.  “He mentioned some biblical thing about doing
his duty
.  Some babble about marrying a brother’s widow to keep the kid in the family.  You know I’m not into religious stuff, but it does seem peculiar that he would say that and then those–“

“Those very words would get inked into John’s back?” 

“And all this happens on the deadline of me signing the divorce papers?  Oh, Christ, Nicola.”  My eyes filled with tears again.  “I told Brian what John had threatened to do.  But I didn’t dare mention it to the cops.  All this could make Brian a suspect, couldn’t it?  Perhaps he already is.”

Nicola’s hardening eyes glinted.  “Hell, yes, it’s peculiar.  But Brian had nothing to do with this!“

I wanted to believe her.  “You can’t possibly know that.  Someone has done me a
big
favour.  My secret is safe.  John can no longer tell Sarah about her dad.”  Guilt for even thinking that way, let alone saying it aloud, coursed through me and I shuddered, hating myself.

“Stop this!”

“I’m not actually suggesting that Brian tied John to the back of his car.  I’ve known Brian since high school, he couldn’t do something like this.  I’m just thinking that maybe it is all somehow connected.  Oh, forget it.”  Still sitting on the worktop, I watched Nicola chew her fingernails, fretting I thought, a mess like I was.  Then I let my eyelids slide shut.  “I guess what happened explains why Brian didn’t reply to my text earlier.”

“He loves you and he’ll call.  He can’t have been out of the police station all that long, and he’s probably in shock.”  Her face creased.  She set her hands on my knees and squeezed.  “Don’t let this madness mess with your head.”

I blinked back further tears, but felt myself getting pulled deeper into a well of doubt about the man I’d cracked my heart open for.  “That text from Claire, I-it was like she was pleading for me to let Brian be free.  I mean, I expected her to type a string of swear words for stealing her man, not beg for his freedom.”  Did I misinterpret?  “Maybe she knew that...  Well, John’s death has certainly given me
my
freedom back.  And my secret is safe.”  I faced Nicola.  “It’s just a coincidence... right?”

She sighed heavily.  “Brian did not have sex with Claire today, and then kill John so he could stop him telling Sarah about her dad and... free you and therefore free himself from some kind of... biblical duty.  You’re talking nonsense.  The cops said John was killed last night.   Brian was with you.  All night.” 

“Well... he did drive off to chase Steph...  Oh, my head just feels so.  Ugh!”  I ground my teeth, angry with myself and also guilty about letting Claire’s poison plant itself in my brain and mingle with the death of my husband.  Of course they were two separate things.  Part of me felt sorry for her.  In essence, I had stolen her boyfriend, and for that, I did feel bad. 

The doorbell rang. 

Nicola practically jumped out of her skin.

I wiped my tears with the back of my hand and hopped off the bench. 

Nicola seemed to shrink into a corner.  “D’ya think that’s the police again?”

“Jeez.  You’re jumpier than me.” 

She rubbed her throat through her high collar and stared nervously into the hall.

“Stay here.”  Frowning, I crossed her line of gaze, dashed down the hall and opened the front door.  My neighbour Harry was strolling away from the house in the last of the daylight.

“Hi.  Harry?”

He turned back and smiled, looking casual and toasty in grey jogging bottoms and a padded jacket that made him look twice his size.  “Oh, hi.  I just popped round to give you this.”  He handed me a large brown envelope.  “They delivered it to my house by mistake.  Looked important so I figured...”

My mobile beeped a text alert from my back pocket.  A message from Brian?  Hopefully.  I skimmed my pocket with my fingers, itching to read it.

“Is this a bad time?” Harry asked, trying to catch my eye.

I glanced up.  “S-sorry.”  Not wanting to appear rude, I left my mobile in my pocket, turned the envelope over and read the return address.  Whoa!  It was from a local company whose business I’d been wanting to get, but I hadn’t even contacted them yet.  Oh, wow.  Had Brian negotiated it for me on the sly?   Was this the birthday gift he’d referred to this morning and it wasn’t the promise of sex at all?  I realised that right now, I didn’t care either way.  “Thanks.”

“Listen, I, err,” Harry began.  “I wanted to wish you a happy birthday.  I got you a little something but wasn’t sure this was the right time to bring it.”  He thumbed over his shoulder.  “Did I see a cop car here?”

I pursed my lips and nodded.  “John, my husband... he died.”

Harry’s jaw dropped.  “You’re kidding me?  How?  When?”

I wished I was kidding.  “He got dragged along the road behind Brian’s car around lunch time today.”  I mentally kicked myself for being so blunt, but then what did it matter?  It would be all over the news soon anyway.  “But he’d been killed last night.”

Harry’s brows bunched together over horrified eyes. 

I felt a twist of pain in my chest for John.  I hated the thought of him suffering, the thought of him gone, not part of the world anymore. 
What must his parents be going through right now?  Perhaps I should phone them. 
Tears pricked the back of my eyes.

“Jesus!  That’s quite a story.  I’m really sorry to hear that.”

I blinked back tears.  “Sorry.  Guess that was the last thing you expected me to say.  You know Brian, right?”

He drummed a finger against his lips.  “Isn’t he the guy who’s dating my ex?”

“
Was
.  He’s sort of seeing me now.”

Harry’s eyebrows reached for his hairline.  “Really?  And Claire’s okay with that?”

I recalled her text.  “Apparently not.”

“Well, I’m sorry to hear about John,” he said.  “How terrible.  Not a great birthday for you, is it?”

I shook my head.  I’d never make another birthday wish again.

“And this happened today?”

I glanced back into the house, wanting to retreat and shut the door.  God, questions, questions... but Harry had been a good neighbour and I did not want to appear rude.  “Yep.  Today.”

“Jeez!”  He rubbed his chin.  “When did you get together with Brian?  Sorry, that’s personal.”

“It’s okay.”  I studied him, saw a glint of something in his eyes.  Was he still lusting after Claire?  “We got together last night.”  Go ahead, Claire’s all yours.