Shiver (3 page)

“Thought you might need that.” She smiled cheekily at me.

I nodded, staring at the glass. “Indeed.”

“Sooo, I feel like there’s a lot you need to tell me.”

“I hardly know where to start.”

Chapter 3

O
ne month later, I pulled my truck up in front of Ethan’s stable. It had been a couple of years since I’d been there. Back then I was always just passing through instead of looking for work. Bit of a different ball game, but it was nice to at least be on familiar territory. This would be a bit of a change—I’d never worked a traditional job before. I’d never been a waitress or had a desk job. And even with horses, I’d always freelanced, traveling around to multiple barns in one day to ride or do odd jobs. It was actually a lot of hard work and not terribly reliable, but I had enjoyed the flexibility and the chance to do different things. I was actually a little nervous to be locked down to one job, to be around the same people, the same horses, every day. But, as I was on the road to grown-up-dom, I figured this steadier job was a step in the right direction. And maybe there was a little part of me that was excited at the thought of working with Ethan every day.

I hadn’t seen him since that night at the Tavern, but we’d spoken briefly on the phone a few days ago when I called to let him know I was ready to start working. My wrist was still very weak, the muscles atrophied from being immobile for so long. But the sutures were mostly healed, and I kept an ACE bandage around it to keep it clean and give it a little support. My hope was that working around a barn was all the physical therapy I would need. My doctor had said the only thing I really shouldn’t do is fall off a horse again, so I’d give that my best effort.

I hopped out after shutting down the engine and zipped up my jacket while Charlie, my big mutt of undetermined lineage, leapt out behind me. She was one hundred pounds of long black hair, looked fairly wolfish, and was my fierce protector. Well, she looked fierce, anyway. That was all that counted.

It was the end of November and windy and the time of year that made me question my decision to live in Virginia. I liked warmth. I reached into the truck to grab my beanie cap, which looked ridiculously stupid on me, but I hated the cold more.

Charlie and I walked through an archway and into the center of the U-shaped barn, then looked around for Ethan so I could get my instructions for the day. First I ran into his farm manager, José, whom I totally adored.

“Hola, José!”
I said in my terrible Spanglish.

He grinned at me over a wheelbarrow. “Hello, Lissa! Welcome to work!” he said with a heavy accent.

I’d always tried to speak Spanish to him when I saw him, but I was so terrible he would switch to English. I still think he got a kick out of me trying.
“Gracias! Dónde esta Ethan?”

“He is in the office. He said for you to go in when you get here.”

I thanked him again and turned toward the office and tack room. I heard Ethan on the phone as I walked in, so I tapped on the open door to let him know I was there. He looked up and held up a hand as he finished his call. While I waited, I strolled around, looking at all the photographs of different horses performing. Some were of Ethan riding, some were of whom I assumed were clients. There was one entire wall completely covered in framed pictures, and I could have spent a lot of time staring at them. There were so many differences between horses, riders, jumps, as well as different states and countries. I had to say it was pretty cool. I was standing in front of one in particular that had captured my attention. It was of a younger Ethan riding a gray horse, and the backdrop of the picture was the rolling waves of the Pacific Ocean.

“That’s one of my favorite pictures,” Ethan said from his desk. “It was right before I moved out here from California. Pretty spectacular, huh?”

“Do you ever want to move back?” I walked over and sat on a trunk, facing him.

“Usually every winter.” He smiled, then shrugged. “Yes and no. The weather is great, and you have the beach. But there’s no land anymore for horses, so it’s not such a great life for them. It’s also pretty cost prohibitive. I don’t know. Maybe if my family still had our ranch out there, but as it is, there’s nothing there for me.”

I remembered that he wasn’t very close to his family, and it was a subject I sensed was not his favorite. So I decided to let that last comment go. “I wouldn’t mind moving back to Texas someday. But I don’t know exactly what I’d want to do. I know I don’t want to work for someone else. No offense.” It crossed my mind that I shouldn’t be saying things like that to my boss.

That got a small laugh out of him. “Don’t worry. I don’t expect you’re the type to work for someone else for long. But I’m happy to get you back on your feet. And I plan on getting plenty of work out of you before you’re ready to strike out on your own again.” His brow rose. “And you never know. You just might learn something from me.”

“Stranger things have happened.” I grinned. “You might just learn something from me too.”

“Oh, I look forward to it.” He rose up from his chair, stretching his lean frame.

I couldn’t help but take it in. I mean… come on. He was wearing a long-sleeved button-down blue shirt and tan cargo pants that were tucked into knee-high brown boots, and half chaps. There was a glint of silver on his heels where his spurs rested. I know most people think cowboys are hot and probably don’t give much thought to the formal style of English riding. It can be so much sexier than you think. Ethan was the perfect mix of professional plus comfort. The only bummer was that the sleeves of his shirt covered up the sleeves of his tattoos.

“Are you ready to get started? My plan is to assign you a couple of horses to work each day, and then I have a list of projects to do around here through the winter months. We rarely have any clients come in during this season, so it’s a good time to get things done. I’ll leave it to you to decide how you want to divide your time. As long as it gets done, I don’t care.”

“I’m game. But I haven’t ridden for a couple of months now. Go easy on me.”

He spared me a sideways glance as he threw on his jacket. “Come on. You need to cowgirl up.”

We spent the next half hour walking through the farm, discussing my tasks. Then I sat to fill out some paperwork, mainly liability forms, while Ethan went on about his day. I found that I really would be able to do my own thing here, and I liked that idea. I didn’t want to be hovered over.

A while later, I was about to swing into the saddle for the first time in almost three months. I think that was a record for me. Ethan rounded the corner on a big bay gelding.

“Nervous?” he asked, grinning at me.

“Ha! Well, I wasn’t. But now I’m reconsidering. However, I don’t think old Bessie here is going to damage me like the last thing I rode.” I patted the chestnut mare’s neck affectionately.

“That is Ginger.” He pointed to my ride. “And don’t let her fool you. Back in the day, she was something else.”

“I’m sure she was.” I laughed. “I meant no offense, Ginger.” Her ears flicked back to me as I settled into the seat.

“I figured for the next couple of weeks I’d let you stick with the quieter rides. We have some older horses that just need to stretch their legs. Shouldn’t be anything you can get into much trouble on. Right?”

“In theory,” I mumbled under my breath.

“I have a lot of work for you coming up, so don’t break anything at least.”

I rolled my eyes and started to ride off. “Deal.”

“Hey, do you wanna do dinner tonight to celebrate your first day?” he called out from behind me.

“Oh, um, yeah. Sure!” My words fumbled in my restrained giddiness. I looped Ginger back around to face him. “Where and when?”

“I’m in the mood for Mexican food. Meet me at my place at seven?”

“Sure thing.”

“All right. I’ll see you then.” He grinned, then looked at his watch. “I have some appointments this afternoon. Are you good on everything here?”

“Yep. I’ve got it covered.”

My first day back in the saddle plus dinner with Ethan? Best. Ever.

Chapter 4

I
rolled back onto Ethan’s property after leaving an hour before to go home and shower. I was right on time because I despised being late to anything. I wasn’t sure where we were going since there were no good Mexican restaurants that I was aware of in the area. But I was wearing a dark, long-sleeved shirt and my favorite pair of Joe’s jeans with cowboy boots. I’d put minimal makeup on, just enough to make my green eyes stand out and ensure I looked like a girl. My straight hair was pulled into a high ponytail, the tips brushing the nape of my neck.

I walked up to the front door with Charlie at my heels. She liked to hang with me or in the truck whenever she could. I tapped lightly and then opened the door to poke my head in. Around there, that was the equivalent of ringing a doorbell and waiting.

“Hey! Come on in!” I heard from the back of the house. Charlie pushed through the door in front of me, making herself right at home.

“You ready to go?” I asked as I walked into the front living room. Immediately the scent of cilantro and peppers and lime assaulted me. “Wait. What is happening here?”

“There’s no way we’re getting any decent Mexican food around here. I asked José if his wife would make us extra of whatever they were having. We have homemade corn tortillas, Mexican rice, beans, salsa, guacamole, and taco meat. I still don’t understand exactly what taco meat is, but it’s fucking awesome. Don’t ask, don’t tell.”

I walked through the living room, noticing Charlie had made herself astonishingly comfortable on the couch, and went into the kitchen. Ethan was warming up dishes of all kinds of amazingness. He was wearing a worn pair of jeans with a white T-shirt and had a dish towel thrown over his shoulder. It was like an inducement for wet panties.

“Wow. Guess I got all dressed up for nothin’.” I smiled as I leaned against the counter.

Ethan glanced over at me and I felt his eyes rake over me quickly. “You’ll do.” The corner of his mouth turned up as he slid a beer over to me. “Here. We’re celebrating your reemergence into the world of equine professionalism. Since you’ll be doing nothing but working your ass off for the next few months, tonight I insist you relax and let me serve you.”

I smiled widely at the gesture and took a long pull of my beer. “Won’t hear any arguments here. This was my first real day of work in a long time. I’m sure there’s more to come. You may serve.” This was fun. I wasn’t honestly sure how our former relationship would play into a working one. Especially with Ethan as my boss. I wasn’t used to working under someone else in that respect. And I wasn’t sure how to balance our history without being disrespectful. But so far it had been easy and comfortable.

A few hours later, I’d forgotten all about my reservations. We’d had an amazing meal and consumed… a lot of beer. At some point we decided tequila shots were a good idea but fortunately curbed ourselves at two or three. I was a little more than tipsy, and we’d fallen into our old roommate routine of watching raunchy stand-up comedy shows on TV while lazing on the couch.

“I can’t even tell you how much I want a cigarette right now,” suddenly burst from my mouth. I hadn’t smoked in months and had never been a heavy smoker. But sometimes when I’d been drinking and the mood was right, I wanted nothing more.

Ethan sat up and leaned forward to dig into the back of the coffee table drawer. He triumphantly pulled out a box of Marlboro Lights and gave it a shake. “Let’s go.”

“You’re a lifesaver,” I said somewhat dreamily. I wasn’t entirely sure if I was dreamy over the smokes or Ethan. Probably both.

He grabbed us each another beer after tucking the pack of cigarettes into his back pocket. We pulled on jackets and headed out onto the back deck to take in the clear, cold night air. Ethan lit one up and handed it over to me before lighting his own. I know I shouldn’t have, but I loved the feel and the taste of that first drag. I figured as long as it was occasional, that was okay. Right?

We shared a moment of silence, each of us resting upon opposite railings, just puffing away and sipping comfortably.

“Come look at the moon,” he said, gazing over my head at the sky.

I walked across the deck and set my bottle on the rail. The pack of cigarettes was sticking out of his pocket, and I plucked them out to snag another, using all my self-control to resist copping a feel. Silently, he passed his still-lit end over to me so I could light mine. Our fingers touched and our eyes met as I pressed our tips together and sucked in to catch a flame. I was completely drawn into the depths of his dark brown eyes, and my heart skipped a beat and dropped to my stomach. There was so much wanting in that moment I could hardly take it. So I looked over at the sky too, almost needing to squint at the light of the full moon. It was beautiful and bright but paled in comparison to what I’d just seen. I shivered at the intensity.

“Cold?”

“Freezing,” I lied, flicking out my cigarette and excusing myself to head inside. I stripped off my jacket and went straight to the kitchen sink, rolling up my sleeves to wash dishes. Ethan came in a few minutes later as I finished up and dried my hands on a towel.

“You didn’t have to do that. I’m here to serve you, remember?”

I waved dismissively. “I’m so well trained by my mother I can’t leave a bed unmade or dishes unwashed.” As my hands moved, I noticed Ethan glancing at the scarring on my arm. He gently caught my wrist, drawing it toward him and turning it over to look. The scars were still red and raised and fairly angry-looking from the trauma I’d endured. My brother referred to it as Franken-Arm.

“Jesus,” he said quietly. “You really did a number on yourself, didn’t you? Does it hurt to touch?”

As I shook my head no, his fingers softly trailed over the marks on my wrist and hand. Goose bumps raised across my flesh.

“Still cold?”

I shook my head no again, rendered mute by his touch.

“Fuck,” he quietly mumbled underneath his breath.

He cautiously tugged my arm, and I fell into him way too easily. My hands were on his chest like maybe they were thinking halfheartedly about stopping us, but our bodies were flush to each other.

Ethan ran his mouth down my neck to nip at my collarbone. My entire body wanted to implode the moment his teeth met my skin.

“Tell me you want this as much as I do.” He breathed against me.

I inhaled deeply as I nodded my head up and down.

He pulled back and met my eyes. “Yes or no?”

“Yes.” I hadn’t been more sure of anything in a long time.

“Thank God,” he exclaimed as his hands came up to cradle my face and his mouth crashed into mine. For a moment I was frozen, but my instincts kicked in quickly as his fingers tangled in my hair, tugging my head back as he trailed his lips down my throat. That was pretty much my undoing. I grabbed his hair, pulling his face back up to mine in a scorching kiss. We were breathing each other in, pressed as tightly together as our clothes would allow. He ran his hands down my back and grabbed my ass, lifting me up so I could wrap my legs around his waist. Of course, being uncoordinated, I fumbled awkwardly for a second until he caught me and spun us around so I was propped against the counter. He pulled back, and we both laughed a little, resting our foreheads against each other.

“I have no condoms in the house,” he said suddenly. “Please tell me you’re on the pill.”

“I am,” I answered breathlessly. “But I’m not the man-whore here. Please tell me you’re clean.”

I felt his grin. “I’m not quite the man-whore you think I am, but I do get tested and I’m clean. We good?”

“God, yes.”

I tightened my legs, pulling him closer to me as he lifted me easily and hauled me off to his bedroom. I was tossed onto the bed, and I watched shamelessly as Ethan did that cool one-handed thing, pulling his shirt over his head and throwing it aside. I’d seen him shirtless before but never with the opportunity to stare and… touch. The word
beautiful
came to mind, though I assumed he wouldn’t like that. His abs. For the love of all things holy, his abs! The full sleeves of his tattoos served as a sort of frame to the perfection. I realized I’d been staring wordlessly a little too long when my eyes reached his face to see a knowing smirk.

“Shut up. You know you’re hot.”

He let out a bark of laughter. “Now it’s my turn.” He stalked over to me as I sat up on the edge of the bed and raised my arms. My shirt was yanked off quickly, but my wrists were caught in the sleeves. Ethan leaned closer, straddling me and pushing me back until I was lying flat with my wrists bound by my shirt above my head. His hands roamed down my arms to my ribs, to the flat of my stomach, before he slid a hand underneath me and unclasped my bra. I didn’t even want to think about the amount of practice it must have taken for that move alone. He pushed my bra up my arms, leaving it twisted around my wrists as well. His fingertips dusted my collarbone and trailed down to my breasts, making me shiver and squirm.

“Cold?” He smiled knowingly.

I shook my head no again and let my eyes fall closed. His hands ran back up my arms, and he freed my wrists from my shirt. Thank God, because while that was probably the single most erotic experience of my life, I wanted to touch him badly. As soon as he tossed my shirt and bra away, my hands began their own exploration, starting with tracing the artwork on his arms up to cut muscles in his shoulders, then down to touch the abs I’d thought about so often. They were better than my imagination could have ever dreamt up on its own, and I took my time to feel every single ridge. The backs of my hands brushed over that delicious
V
that girls wish all guys had, and he sucked in a harsh breath before grabbing the back of my head and pulling me back into his kiss.

Next thing I knew, I was stripped of my jeans and I lay back to watch Ethan remove his, then we took in our first full view of each other. God bless America.

His eyes were trained on mine as he crawled over me, and my knees came up around his hips naturally. His body lowered to mine, and he braced on his elbows to brush the hair from my face and gently kiss my lips. His lips moved to my ear, his teeth raking the lobe. “God, you have no idea how long I’ve wanted this,” he whispered.

I couldn’t help the bubble of laughter that popped out of me, and he drew back to look at my face.

“What?” he asked, clearly confused.

“I have had a crush on you for years.” I laughed again. “It never crossed my mind that you felt the same.”

His face suddenly grew serious. “Lissa, look. I…”

I hushed him quickly, not wanting to hear whatever he was going to say. I was under no illusion that what was happening was a long-term thing or some grand romance. As far as I knew, Ethan didn’t operate that way. But I wasn’t going to let it ruin the night.

“Shut up and do me.” I grinned at the surprise that flashed across his features before he smiled back and ravished my mouth once again.

Tangled. Everything was tangled. My hands in his hair, his in mine, our legs, our lips, our bodies. And I feared my heart would never survive its own entanglement, but I pushed the thought aside. We were slick and sweaty and clearly under some other influence, more than just tequila. The moment he surged into me was like nothing I’d ever felt before, and it stole my breath. We moved together in perfect rhythm, kissing and touching and feeling each other every minute until neither one of us could take any more and we collapsed in a boneless heap together.

Our foreheads were resting together, and Ethan gently pushed my hair back, then rolled off me. We lay side by side, just breathing, staring at the ceiling. Without looking over at me, he sighed deeply. “Holy shit.”

I just sort of blinked but kept staring up.

He stretched a hand out, and the backs of our hands lightly brushed together. That’s all that was touching, and it strangely felt just as intimate, if not more so, than everything else. We remained in silence for several minutes.

“I’m not drunk anymore,” I whispered finally.

“I never really was,” he whispered back.