Shira (5 page)

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Authors: Tressie Lockwood

BOOK: Shira
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Shira didn’t think she would ever understand the man. At the weirdest times, she made him smile. She supposed she should be happy to see it. Max took her breath away he was so sexy. His presence outweighed Sam’s by a million percent, and yet she was drawn to him.

I shouldn’t let myself like him too much.

They stood so close, she felt the warmth off his body. The sensation raised goose bumps along her flesh and made her too aware of how attracted she was to him. He probably didn’t feel a thing, which disappointed her. To keep her head on straight, she moved back to sit on the bed and dragged the sheet over her lap.

“Like I said, I can’t imagine what you went through, or what you’re dealing with now but—” She bit her lip. “Max, I thought I would never climb out of the gutter I let myself get dragged into. That’s the only way I can describe it, a gutter. I did climb out. Well, sort of. That’s not the point. I have so much hope in me, for my future. I’m not down at all. I’m alive, and I have to believe that there’s going to come a time when some seriously awesome stuff will happen, and I’m looking forward to it.”

“I’ve never met a woman as positive as you are.”

She laughed. “You mean in the face of being butt poor with no prospects?”

The sound he made had her thinking he agreed but wasn’t going to admit it. “Now it’s your turn.”

Shira wanted to avoid the subject, but she’d set the terms of their conversation. She couldn’t back down now. Unfortunately, she didn’t think she could talk about her dealings with Sam in an emotionless tone like he’d done.
Just don’t get to crying, girl.

“My meeting Sam wasn’t a fairytale. Well, at the time, I thought it was. I mean a doctor interested in
me
. I was a student at my local community college, starting way late, and he came there as a guest speaker. Half the women in there hung on his every word, including me. He was handsome and intelligent. After his lecture, a bunch of women ran up to him asking questions and trying to get his attention. I wasn’t even trying because I figured I didn’t have a chance. Later, when I was walking between buildings going to my next class, I ran into him again. I blurted out that I enjoyed what he had to say. I couldn’t believe it when he ignored my comment and asked me out.”

She twisted the sheet in her hands thinking back. The way Sam acted should have been a clue right there. He was never interested in what she thought or what interested her. He was all about his agenda and what he wanted.

“I was too flattered by his attention, too impressed by his credentials. I was stupid.”

Max moved by the window and crossed his arms over his chest as he leaned there. “I’m sure you aren’t the only woman to fall prey to that type. You shouldn’t be too hard on yourself.”

She sucked her teeth. “I know you’re right, but it doesn’t take the sting out of it.”

He nodded. “Go on.”

“We started dating. Like I said, everything was great, like a fairytale, but then he became more demanding, wanting to choose what I wore and who I hung out with. He couched it in compliments like, ‘Honey, I care about you, so of course it’s important to me that you are around the right people.’ Eventually, that changed.” She was pretty sure Max could figure out for himself what came next, and she didn’t want to say it. Her weakness, her humiliation, wasn’t easy to share. Max kept silent as if he encouraged her to go on.

In her lap, she twisted the sheet. Her fingers ached, but she kept it up. The action was the only thing to keep the tears at bay or to stop her from running out of the room. “The first time he hit me was a shock I think for both of us. He apologized. I forgave him. By then, I loved him so much. Also, my life was intertwined with his. My friends had been driven away, even my acquaintances. All of my entertainment revolved around him. He helped me to study and start getting good grades. He helped me get the better-paying job I was in at the time. Sam wanted me grateful and dependent in every way possible, and I fell for it all. So when the harsh words he sometimes spoke turned physical much more often, it was almost easy to let him do it.”

She dropped her head into her hands, shoulders shaking. The sob that rose in her throat was barely contained. At any moment, she expected Max to judge her or call her pathetic, but he walked over and sat down beside her. A light touch to her leg was so warm and comforting, it set her off balance. She didn’t mean to, but she found herself in his arms, leaning on his chest.

He stroked her back, and his embrace was strong and steady. She longed to stay there. Logic said she needed to get up and get distance between them. One didn’t jump out of one relationship into another. Besides, he was just as emotionally damaged as she was. They didn’t need to make a party of it.

“I’m sorry,” she said, trying to make herself move her hands off his chest.

“Don’t be.” He raised her chin, and she looked into his eyes. The anger she caught there took her by surprise, but she didn’t think it was directed at her. “He deserves to be castrated.”

She winced but smiled. “Yeah, he does.”

They stared at each other for a while, and Shira told herself to turn away, but her body didn’t respond. Just the act of Max massaging a small area on her shoulder held her in place. The movement was so in contrast to the way Sam used to clench her upper arm and squeeze until he left bruises.
Yet, there’s more strength one touch from Max. I can’t put my finger on it. There’s something different about him. What is it?

“I should move,” she whispered. Instead, she leaned in and kissed him. Her nipples brushed his chest, and Max took in a sharp breath. She nibbled his bottom lip and waited for Max to push her away, but he held very still. In degrees, she ran her hands higher on his chest until she reached his shoulders, and then she arched into him. Her body was on fire, but she shouldn’t be doing this. How the heck was she trying to seduce a man like Max? This wasn’t in Whisper’s request to look after him, but she was turned on more than she’d ever remembered being. “Something about you…”

When he didn’t move, at first she thought he wasn’t interested, but all of a sudden, he swooped her up onto his lap. The sheet she’d wrapped around herself slipped, exposing her thighs. The T-shirt had risen, and her little cat was exposed. Shira shivered as Max took in the sight. She could have sworn in the dim light that his eyes changed, but he lowered his head and she couldn’t see well enough.

“I shouldn’t.” He swallowed, still focused it seemed, on the patch between her legs. “You’re a guest in my house.”

“I’m actually your housekeeper,” she corrected.

“All the more reason not to…
do
what we both have in mind.”

Of course, I’m the hired help
. “I get it.” She slipped off of his lap and stood yanking the T-shirt down.

Max rose. “Make no mistake about it. I want you, but it’s a been a long time since I was with anyone.”

She waved a hand but kept her eyes averted. “Oh yeah, of course. Don’t even worry about it. I completely understand.”

He strolled to the door and was gone before she drew her next breath. Bitter regret choked her and made her drop into bed knowing it would be a long time before she slept.

 

 

Chapter Five

 

To Shira’s annoyance, Max avoided her for most of the next few days. He didn’t stick around the house much, and even when he did, he spent most of the time out in the shed tinkering with she didn’t know what. Shira busied herself with cleaning and re-cleaning the house. She experimented with various recipes, some of which she was able to download off the Internet using his laptop.

Once she met him in the hall and blocked his path. She knew she looked a hot mess with wrinkled, damp clothes, but she didn’t appreciate his attitude. “So you’re scared of me. Is that it?”

Max’s eyebrows went up. He studied her from head to toe, and the words she’d blurted out embarrassed her. She didn’t weigh much on a good day, and he must be just over two hundred pounds of solid muscle. “Scared? No.” Max put a thumb up and rubbed it across her cheek. “You’re dirty.”

“Thanks,” she snapped. “If you weren’t such a slob, I wouldn’t be.

Amusement lit his eyes. “If I were a neat freak, I might not need you.”

“Seriously!” She huffed and turned to walk away, but he caught her arm and swung her around. Shira found herself penned to the wall, and Max’s big frame keeping her there. The emotions roiling to the surface were both surprise and desire. He glared at her for a long while, saying nothing. Shira couldn’t catch her breath to protest, or for that matter to encourage him.

He dipped his head so that his mouth came close to hers. Her lips parted of their own accord, but he didn’t take the invitation. “Is this what you wanted?”

“I…” Her brain was scrambled.

“You play a dangerous game, little girl,” he warned. “You do not want to tempt the beast.”

“Interesting choice of words,” she quipped.

His eyes narrowed. “Why is that?”

“Nothing.” She lowered her gaze. He didn’t need to know about the leopard, but then it didn’t have anything to do with him anyway. “Are you going to start something or let me go?”

Max released her too quickly and stepped back. “I’ll stay out of your way.  It’s better for both of us.”

Shira decided not to argue. She might not be Max’s first choice of a partner, but he was attracted to her. The bulge she’d felt in his pants when he pressed her to the wall said it. That was enough to stroke even her tiny ego. She smiled as she headed down the hall, and Max kept going in the opposite direction.

Sometime later, Shira was just finishing up with drying the dinner dishes when one of the glasses slipped from her hand shattered on the floor. She swore, hoping Max wouldn’t be too angry.

“Leave it. I’ll pick it up,” he said from the doorway.

She gasped. She’d thought he’d gone back outside after he ate. “No, I’m sorry. I’ll get it up in a jiffy.” She stooped and picked up the first piece a little too quickly. A sharp pain sliced through her palm. “Damn.”

Max was there in a flash. “Let me see.”

“It’s fine.” She tried pulling away from him, but he held her wrist in a firm grip.

He concentrated on the cut, and Shira cringed at the gush of blood that welled up and fell in great glops onto the floor she’d scrubbed earlier. Max hauled her to her feet and guided her to the sink. While he stood behind her he washed her hand under cool water. Only the pain could keep her from enjoying his closeness.

“This looks deep,” he said. “I think you’ll need stitches. I’ll take you to the hospital.”

“No!”

“That wasn’t a suggestion.”

Shira snatched her hand away, grabbed a wad of paper towels, and wound them around her palm. “I said it’s fine. I’m not going to the hospital.”

His nostrils flared. “And
I
said you’re going. You will not bleed to death in my house.”

“Be still my heart,” she groused. “I didn’t know you cared so much.”

Shira’s smartass comments covered the fact that dread had risen with the mention of the hospital. She couldn’t go there, not with the risk of running into Sam. She spun on her heel and started for the kitchen door. Max caught up with her and grabbed her elbow. She couldn’t get away from him without a fight, so she headed outside and let him open the car door for her to get in. Down the highway, she sat like a statue beside him, saying nothing. As she watched more and more of the tissue turning red, she had to admit Max was right. She needed stitches.

“Put pressure on it, and raise your arm. That should slow down the flow.”

She did as he suggested. “I…I don’t have any money or ID.”

“I’ll take care of it.”

“I don’t know why I didn’t think of that before.” She had, but somehow she’d felt safe hidden away at his house. The fact that they were heading back to civilization and possibly Sam was a wake up call. Waiting until she’d saved enough money might not be an option. She would need to ask Max for help getting new ID. Then she would go, money or no money.

The moment they pulled into the hospital parking lot, her jaw started hurting from clenching it so tight, and her head pounded. The one consolation she had was that any emotion in her expression Max would probably put down to the pain in her hand, which had dulled to a slight ache.

He opened her door and guided her into the emergency room entrance.
Please don’t be on duty. Please don’t be on duty.

When they passed through the sliding glass doors, Max had pulled out ahead of her by the fact that he had longer legs and wasn’t lagging in dread like she was. He stopped cold though, and she smashed into his back. Grumbling, Shira moved from behind him and glanced up. Max drew in a sharp, swift breath like he smelled something foul. Rage transformed his handsome face.

Shira stumbled in nervous fear and took a step back, but he reached for her and walked alongside her to the triage nurse’s station. She listened in a daze as Max commanded attention, gave his personal information, and had a nurse evaluating her cut in seconds.

“You’ll have to wait here, sir, if—”

Max cut her off. “I am her fiancé. I’m going back.”

Shira’s mouth dropped open. She should probably tell him it wasn’t necessary to join her since all she was getting was a shot and stitches, neither of which she was scared of. The truth was, she was nervous about running into Sam. He wasn’t likely to attack at work, but still, she was scared.

With her good hand, Shira held onto Max’s arm. She told herself over and over to “woman up” and stand on her own, but her fingers wouldn’t uncurl from his sleeve. Max made no mention of it. In fact, she wondered if he knew she stood at his side the way he swung his gaze from one face to another as they walked, like he searched for someone. Her stomach clenched. Did he remember her saying Sam was a doctor? No, even if he did, there was no reason for him to think he worked in emergency medicine. Virginia was a big enough state, and there were plenty of hospitals for Sam to work in. Only she knew that this one happened to be where he’d taken a position.

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