Shimmer: The Rephaim Book 3 (19 page)

‘Are you kidding me?’ My voice ricochets between the wall and the chapterhouse. Inside, Jude looks our way. I hold up a hand, let him know I’m okay. ‘Bel said he and Leon attacked us. He put a blade through my neck, Daniel. I think it’s fair to say we were ambushed.’

Daniel can’t meet my eyes. No wonder he had so little to say when Bel and Leon turned up on the mountain on Tuesday night, bragging about killing me.

‘For what it’s worth, we recaptured the hellion a few months later when Leon attacked Micah’s unit in Pakistan. At the time, I thought it was a sign, but Nathaniel found no trace in its memories of you or Jude.’

‘Did you try again?’

‘No. It had lost your scent, and your bandages were long gone.’

The realisation hits. ‘The hellion you had here last week, that was the same one wasn’t it?’

‘Yes.’

‘The one you let savage me and drink my blood. Get a taste of me again.’ I shake my head. ‘All that bullshit about putting me in danger in the hope it would jolt my memories. Rafa was right—you wanted it to get a taste of me because you thought I was lying about the Fallen. That if you could track me, I’d lead you straight to them. Of course this time, you would’ve taken an army with you. Am I on the right track?’

‘I’m not going to apologise for going to extremes. I thought it could work. But yes, the plan B was to have a way to track you. If you remembered who you were, you’d understand why—’

‘I get it,’ I snap. ‘I’ve heard it enough times. The fate of the Fallen and the destiny of the Rephaim is more important than me being torn apart by a hell-beast.’ I wish I had something hard and heavy to slam into his head.

‘I would never have let it kill you.’

‘Well it’s heartening to know you were okay with the tearing apart bit.’

The cold finally gets the best of me and I have to rub my arms. We stand in strained silence.

‘I’m sorry,’ he says. It comes out soft. ‘I never wanted to hurt you.’

I tuck my hands back under my arms. ‘But you wouldn’t do things differently, would you? You honestly think you’re on the higher ground in all this.’

He shakes his head, but it’s not a denial. More a way of avoiding answering. ‘I want to help you now.’

The clouds are lower, darker. I lift my face as the drizzle starts again. How would the rest of the Sanctuary feel about what he’s just told me? I have every excuse to use it against him: another bombshell to rock the Rephaim. But what good would it do? This place is in a big enough mess as it is. And I need to get back to Dani.

‘The only help I want is to get Rafa and Taya.’

‘What do you think I’ve been doing?’

‘It’s not enough, Daniel. You want to help me? Then be on my side.’

‘I am on your side, Gabe. That’s why we’re having this conversation.’

‘No, I mean if I end up “doing something foolish” I want to know you’re not going to hang me out to dry to Nathaniel and the rest of the Five. That you’ll back my decisions.’

‘I can’t do that if I don’t know what those decisions are.’

‘And if there happen to be others involved, don’t use it as another wedge to drive between the Sanctuary and the Outcasts. Promise me.’ I hold his gaze, challenge him to show me proof of all this respect he says he and I once shared.

‘I won’t make promises I may not be able to keep.’

‘Then this conversation is over.’

I head for the warmth of the chapterhouse.

‘Will you tell me what you’re planning, even if you know I won’t approve?’

I stop on the third step. ‘I won’t make promises I may not be able to keep.’

Daniel gives me a steady look. ‘You need to meet me halfway. I want your word you’ll tell me what’s going on before you and the Outcasts take matters into your own hands.’

After what he’s just told me, I can’t believe he has the gall to make demands. But I know now that we have to disobey Nathaniel. Having Daniel in the loop might be the only way to stop the Rephaim tearing themselves apart. Again.

‘I’m not giving you my word, Daniel.’ I put my hand on the door. ‘But I’ll do what I can.’

THE STUFF OF NIGHTMARES

‘Could an angel change our memories?’ Jude asks Ez as I walk back inside. They’re in a huddle with Daisy and Malachi.

‘I’ve never heard of it,’ Ez says.

I close the door behind me. ‘Nathaniel said Semyaza didn’t have the power to change memories.’

‘I’m not talking about fallen angels.’ Jude looks over at me. ‘I’m talking about an archangel. A member of the Angelic Garrison. Could they do it?’

‘No way,’ Daisy says. ‘They’d never get involved in our lives.’

‘I didn’t say
would
, I asked
could
they do it
.
’

Nobody answers. Ez’s fingers brush her scars and settle over her throat, protective. I cross the chapterhouse, suddenly aware of the ancient space around me; of the stones and marble stained with blood and lies.

‘Let’s get back to Dani.’ I keep moving towards the front door.

‘What did Daniel say?’ Malachi asks when he reaches me.

‘He asked me to tell him before I do anything stupid.’

‘And you agreed?’

‘For the sake of keeping the peace.’

‘But that’s good,’ Daisy says. ‘Running around behind everyone’s back is only going to aggravate the situation. So you told him about Mya going to LA?’

I guess I missed more than one topic of conversation while I was outside.

‘No, and you need to keep that information to yourself.’

Daisy’s lips flatten. As always, her taste for rebellion only goes so far—especially where Mya’s involved.

We cross the compound in silence. This place doesn’t feel right: the birds, the smell of the trees, even the light—it’s too muted. All of it is wrong. I need bright sunshine and thundering waves. Magpies. Eucalyptus. My house, with the front door that sticks, the faulty stove and the dodgy water pressure. My home.

Jones is waiting in the hallway outside Jude’s room. ‘They won’t let me in. I thought I’d hang here anyway.’

Jude taps lightly. ‘It’s us.’

The door cracks open a fraction and Jason appears, face bleak. He takes in all of us. ‘Let’s talk out here.’

I look over his shoulder and my heart lurches. Dani is curled up on the bed, Maria stroking her hair. Zak stands sentry by the window. Maggie comes to the door, guides Jason through and closes it behind her.

‘She’s okay, just exhausted,’ Maggie says.

‘What did she see?’

‘She hasn’t told us.’

I think about Taya, give Maggie an impulsive hug. She hangs on tight. Neither of us speaks. Everyone shuffles around until they find their own space in the hallway.

‘When can I talk to her?’ I ask and step back from Maggie.

‘When she’s ready,’ Jason says.

Malachi bends down and stretches his calves. Rolls his wrists until one of them cracks. ‘What else do we know about that iron room?’

I tell him about the journal with photos of burning corpses and instructions for sacrificial rites written in German; about Jason discovering the family was excommunicated from the Lutheran Church around the time the Fallen broke out of hell. That the family knew about the Rephaim and warned Jason away from the rest of us. I describe the floor plans and the photos of the Rephaim; Rafa’s theory about a mole at the Sanctuary.

‘No way. None of us would betray Nathaniel.’ Malachi raises his eyebrows at Ez.

‘Come on,’ she says. ‘We’ve had our differences, but we’d never put anyone here in danger.’

I give a short laugh. ‘An hour ago you were all pounding the crap out of each other with your bare hands.’

Ez and Malachi share an ironic smile. ‘Yeah,’ Malachi concedes, ‘but we’d never let anyone else do it.’

‘So how did the women get the photos and floor plans?’

‘What about the monks?’ Jude asks.

Daisy shakes her head. ‘They’ve been with us for years, some from the same family. They give up everything to be here: friends, family, money. Sex. They totally believe in Nathaniel’s mission to find the Fallen. There’s no way any of the brothers would put him or us at risk.’

‘What if they found out Nathaniel had lied about something?’ I ask the question carefully.

‘Like what?’ Malachi asks.

‘Doesn’t matter what.’

Malachi holds my gaze. ‘Nathaniel has no reason to lie.’ But he knows that’s not true. He just watched the fallen angel lie to a roomful of Rephaim.

‘Were you aware this place is protected from demons by wards made from Nathaniel’s blood?’ I ask.

‘Rubbish.’ Malachi looks at Ez. ‘Right?’

‘I didn’t know about the blood,’ Ez says. ‘But Nathaniel told us about the wards this morning. Why do you think we’re still here?’

‘Who told you there was blood involved?’

‘Nathaniel.’ I don’t mention the significance of the wings in the room. That seems like too big a piece of news right now.

‘So the wards in the iron room…’

‘Could only trap Rephaim if Rephaite blood created the ward.’

All eyes turn to Jason. Colour creeps into his cheeks. ‘I did
not
give them blood.’

‘You’re the only one who’s had contact with them all these years,’ Ez says. She’s not accusing, just stating a fact. ‘You could have cut yourself around them. Maybe they only needed a drop or two—’

‘I’m telling you, there is no way they could’ve taken blood from me, accident or otherwise.’

Maggie puts herself between Jason and the rest of us. ‘Don’t take this out on him.’ She looks around at each of us. ‘If he says he didn’t give them blood, he didn’t. Back off.’

There’s silence for a few seconds, and then: ‘Way to let your woman fight your battles, blondie.’

I turn my head so fast it hurts my neck.

‘What?’ Jones says. ‘What did I say?’

I let my breath out, feel the emptiness in its wake. ‘You sounded like Rafa.’

Jason leans back against the wall, takes Maggie’s hand in his. Some of the tightness leaves his jaw. ‘If it was Rafa, I’d be slammed against furniture by now with a hand around my throat. He tends to throttle first, ask questions later.’

Maggie bumps Jason’s shoulder. ‘And he’d call you Goldilocks.’ She smiles at me, sad, hopeful. The door to Jude’s room clicks open and the tension snaps back. Zak fills the doorway.

‘She wants to—’

Dani ducks under his arm and runs to me, buries her face in my chest.

Malachi stares at me. ‘You’re kidding—you know this kid too?’ But when I meet his eyes I see the more important question.
How bad is this going to be?

My lungs burn for a second until I remember to breathe. Then I take Dani back into the room and we sit on the bed.

Her face is streaked. I’m numb, blank. Everyone else crowds inside. She brings her slender knees up to her chest and I vaguely notice her jeans are threadbare at the knees.

‘They’re alive.’

I close my eyes and warmth washes over me like a sun-baked sea.
Alive
.

When I open them, Malachi has sunk to the floor. Zak pats his shoulder. Maria is on Dani’s other side, eyes only on her daughter.

‘But…?’ My voice cracks.

‘They’re hurt bad.’

‘We know about Taya’s finger…’ Ez says.

Dani wipes her cheek on her sleeve. ‘It took me so long to see through the noise. I’ve never been so close to so many of you before. And everyone is right here, all around me.’

I try to follow Dani’s words. Keep them in order so they make sense.

‘And when I did’—her eyes meet mine, wounded, frightened—‘it was so intense. I was
there
, Gaby. I was
right there
.’

I reach for her hand, slide her fingers between mine. I want to tell her it’s okay, but it’s not. I put a twelve-year-old girl in a room with violence and demons—or I may as well have. Maria takes Dani’s other hand. ‘It’s all right, baby. Take your time.’ She meets my eyes, all storm and fury.

Dani chews on her bottom lip, thinks for a moment. ‘Some of it was going on in Rafa’s head because it had already happened, but other things happened while I was there.’ She swallows. ‘At the start, there were twenty Gatekeepers in the room. They all had needles. Rafa and Taya kept shifting—I felt sick from it, even in Rafa’s memory—but the demons got them in the end. Whatever they gave them didn’t knock them out totally, but they weren’t awake enough to shift.’

Her lower lip trembles and her fingers tighten on mine. ‘Rafa tried to stop them hurting Taya. Bel stabbed him again and did other things…There was so much blood, Gaby, but they kept fighting.’

Of course they did. Rafa and Taya are soldiers. It wouldn’t have crossed their minds to give up, even facing impossible odds.

‘You’re all he thinks about.’

I close my eyes, feel a tear slip out.

‘Rafa was stabbed clean through the stomach on the mountain,’ Jude says. ‘There’s no way he could’ve put up a fight if that wound was still open. They must be able to heal each other.’

‘They did, at first. Now Zarael doesn’t leave them awake long enough.’ Dani lets go of my fingers to take the tissue Maria offers. ‘I think being here changes what happens when I meditate. Or maybe it was because Rafa was drugged—’

She stops to blow her nose, then scrunches the tissue and tucks it in her jeans pocket.

‘What?’ I ask.

Her blue eyes find me again. ‘Rafa could sense me.’

‘How do you know?’ I whisper.

‘He said my name.’

‘Could you talk to him?’

‘No, but he was shouting at me in his head. He doesn’t want anyone to try and rescue them.’

‘Why not?’

Her mouth turns down and she hiccups. ‘Rafa and Taya know they’re going to die.’

All the warmth leaves me.

Zak grunts. ‘Come on, that’s—’

‘He wants you to end it.’

I open my mouth but nothing comes out. Zak looks at me, and then Dani. ‘End it how?’ he asks.

A tear slips down her pale cheek. ‘He wants you to make sure the demons are all there. And then he wants you to destroy the house with him and Taya inside.’

WHEN IN DOUBT, GET A BAZOOKA

I spring up from the bed. ‘That’s not happening.’ I look around and dare someone to contradict me. Maria pulls Dani close, protective.