Shifter Magick (9 page)

“
Okay
.” He smiled sympathetically. “I’ll be your crutch. Lean on me.” He took her bag and wound his arm around her.

Kera felt her pulse skyrocket. She leaned against him and marveled at his strength as he helped her gracefully to the car. He practically picked her up the entire time and settled her in her seat without effort on his part.

He was very strong.

Kera could appreciate a guy with strength especially when she always had to be careful of hers. Maddox was quickly becoming something special to her and she could feel the seed of disaster being planted inside her. She was going to screw this up. As soon as she realized this she wanted to beg something or someone to help her make it work.

She couldn’t build a relationship when she was a monster. What if she shifted into her beast and Maddox was injured?

What if he hated her?
She could just see the look of horror in the faces of everyone she knew. Shaking her head Kera realized that her feeble mind was not equipped to deal with the beast inside of her. She would have to be careful and she would have to deceive. Maybe it would have been better to stay reclusive but she couldn’t say no to Maddox. He was kind. He was wonderful.

Kera wanted to know him even if he would never know her.

“What are you thinking about?” Maddox asked from beside her.

Kera looked over and noticed he was just watching her work through everything in her mind. She smiled sheepishly and tried not to get caught in the trap of his eyes. He really was too good looking
for his own good. “I appreciate all you’re doing for me.” She told him honestly. “I’m not used to being taken care of like this.”

Maddox smiled
a
full blinding grin. “Your boyfriends back home did me a favor then.” He chuckled. “Now I don’t have to worry about them taking you from me when you go home for break.”

Kera’s heart shuttered to as stop.
Hope soared inside of her. Was he asking her to be the girlfriend? Is that how this worked? Kera was speechless as she tried to process the implications of being with Maddox Howell. She hadn’t had a relationship before and here she was falling into a fantasy when she didn’t even know what it meant to be someone’s girlfriend.

Could she even accomplish something so important when she couldn’t even tell him the truth?

Maddox’s smile faded. “Sorry Kera.” He cleared his throat. “I didn’t mean to freak you out. I shouldn’t have said that.”

“There’s no one else.” Kera whispered as her cheeks flamed. “I wasn’t freaked out just… caught off guard. I’m not good at relationships.”

Maddox nodded. “Let’s just forget I said anything.”

“You wouldn’t do that when I asked.” Kera goaded him. “Let’s just not put too much on this yet. I could turn out to be a different person then you think I am.”

He watched her for a moment with a look of concern on his face. Kera noticed the pen in his hand
and wondered if he did that when he was nervous. “I like you.” He said. Like that was enough. “So I’ll take this as slow as you want. Just promise me you will try. I can tell you aren’t comfortable with restraint. You’re headstrong and want to do things your way. I’m just asking for a chance.”

Kera swallowed a lump in her throat. “
Okay
.” she agreed. Again she lost all control and let him worm his way into her heart. She wouldn’t be able to keep him at a distance. Maybe everything would work out. Even if it didn’t she would at least have tried.

Maddox let out a breath that she didn’t know he was holding. Did he really like her? She thought about it as he drove from one parking lot to another. The campus was small and most students walked. Maddox had a parking sticker that let him park anywhere on campus. That was usually reserved for someone who lived off campus.

Did Maddox not stay at the dorms? They arrived before Kera got the nerve to ask him any one of the million
questions she had running through her mind.

She didn’t know how to break the tension but she guessed she didn’t have to.

Maddox rounded the car and opened the door for her. He didn’t hesitate to help her out of the car and the strange feeling she experienced in his touch calmed her. He smiled at her and she blushed but returned the smile. Just like that the tension disbursed.

They walked into campus together, her leaning on him, and Maddox playing the role of her crutch. Kera was shocked again by the reaction of people. During coffee she felt like she was with a celebrity and today was no different. Because of her impeccable hearing Kera heard the whispers.

She didn’t even try to tune them out at first wondering if this would be a good way to find out more about the heartthrob sitting next to her.

After ten minutes Kera felt sick to her stomach.
What she heard was hate and jealousy. The girls in the room picked her apart from the color of her hair, lack of makeup and horrible taste in clothes. Kera began to feel embarrassment tattoo itself across her skin. She felt branded with it.

Ever since the accident she had stayed as far away from speculation as humanly possible. Even more so because she was able to gauge people’s reactions to things she did. Their hearts beat faster with excitement or fear. Kera could dismiss herself before panic became a problem.

She had now become public enemy number one and these girls were already plotting her demise.

Anger followed after embarrassment and Kera wondered where her backbone was. Was she going to give up on a relationship with Maddox Howell because he wanted her and these other girls were jealous? She could use her abilities the same way if she was the center of attention.

She might have a headache after listening to all the chatter but it calmed down after the professor began his lecture. The vibrating of phones probably meant that they switched from talking to texting but Kera steeled herself against it.

The hardened shell she was forming around her heart began to crumble the moment Maddox’s hand reached hers. Kera gulped back a sigh of relief when her headache receded and peace consumed her. She silently scoffed her previous thoughts.

Maddox was like a mood ring that actually repaired her sour mood. He was valuable to her. Kera wondered if he could help keep her sane. If all she had to do was touch him to calm her heart rate, or kiss him to get rid of the beast then this was the best medicine for her ailment.

Kera smiled at him and squeezed his fingers. Nervous butterflies tickled her stomach and for once she felt normal.
She missed most of everything the professor said but that was
okay
. She already took this course online so she knew she would be able to ace the final.

When everyone stood up to leave, Kera started to stand.

Maddox put his hand on her leg to stop her. “Wait a moment for it to clear.” He whispered in her ear.

Kera shivered. She nodded and watched everyone pass her and stare. Her cheeks heated and she turned to Maddox. “Doesn’t it make you uncomfortable that everyone stares at you?”

He gave the next person that stared a hard glare that Kera was impressed with. “I didn’t mind when you stared.” He tried to joke with her. “But I’ve learned to ignore it.
I’m sorry if it bothers you.”

Kera wanted to ask him why they all stared. He was hansom beyond belief but there was something more. “If you can ignore it then I can too.” she assured him.

He frowned at her. “It’s
okay
if you can’t.”

Kera realized he was really good at reading her. She gave him this one. “I couldn’t concentrate during class.” She admitted.

Maddox tapped his pen against his leg and his heart calmed down. Kera wondered again at the habit. Did he have a heart condition? He seemed to have anxiety.  A cook at the diner had anxiety problems and her heart used to beat quickly more than a normal person. Did Maddox use the pen instead of pills like Martha had?

Engrossed in her thoughts, she stood when Maddox did and pivoted toward the isle. The metal prong on her ace bandage wedged between her shoes and pinched at her skin. Kera panicked when she realized what she had done. She gasped in surprise rather than pain and let her knees buckle.

Maddox was there to catch her. His strong arm banded around her and her feet left the floor. He pulled her into his lap and reached for her pant leg to check on her ankle.

“No.” Kera exclaimed.

Maddox’s hand froze. He turned his head, eyes not more than a few inches from hers, and waited for her to explain.

Kera
felt her heart beat like a racing horse and she prepared a lie that would hurt her to speak it. “I’m not supposed to mess with the bandage.” She told him. “You can’t see anything through all the gauze anyway and I don’t want to think about what it looks like underneath. I didn’t really step too hard it just surprised me.”

Maddox blinked and she noticed his eyes darken. “
Okay
.” he said softly. His voice had a dark cast to it and a low base undertone. Kera swallowed and couldn’t find the will to smile after lying so blatantly to him. It would probably help her case right now because Maddox was now reserved. “Are you hungry?”

Kera nodded absently. She felt like she should apologize but then he would wonder what for.

Maddox helped her stand and Kera missed the warmth from his body. He grabbed both of their bags and pulled her against him so she could use him as her crutch.

Kera was in the depths of despair.

Once outside, she felt Maddox stiffen beside her. Kera looked around as they walked to his car and found Andrew standing at the edge of the parking lot looking directly at her. If he had been waiting for her again, he hopefully got the picture now. She didn’t want him. She wanted Maddox. She wanted to tell the truth and sh
e wanted him to like her afterwa
rd.

It was funny how she hadn’t thought about what she wanted in a long time. Now she was making huge decisions based on what she wanted.

Maddox pulled her a little closer as they walked by Andrew and he glanced from Andrew to her. “Do you like Italian?” he asked.

Kera raised her eyebrows in dismay. Out of all the things he could say next, she hadn’t expected him to change the subject like he had. Kera had to wonder if it was for her benefit or for his.

Kera ordered pasta. Maddox ordered lasagna. Kera found herself eating slowly and second guessing her manners.
It wasn’t how she pictured her first date to go but it was her fault not his.

Maddox was being polite and even trying to engage her in small talk.

Kera felt like her throat was going to pull a muscle. It was so tight with regret that she wondered if she would even be able to swallow the bit she was chewing. She did and figured she was over exaggerating. She was guilty and maybe she wished for something bad to happen to punish her.

“Did you listen to any more music on the IPod I gave you?” Maddox asked her.

Kera groaned inwardly. “I’m so sorry.” She said meaning it in more ways that he could know. “I completely forgot to give it back to you.”

Maddox put down his fork and shook his head. “Keep it.”
he grumbled.

“I couldn’t.” Kera shook her head as anger welled up inside of her. She had lied but he didn’t know that. Why was he so upset?

“Did you like my song?” He ignored her protest.

“What song?” Kera took a drink of her water to try and douse the flame inside of her. She wanted to ask him what was wrong but she was really afraid of the answer.

A wry smile played at his lips. “The one you were listening to when the volume was down.”

“It wasn’t as low as you thought.” She told him.

Maddox scowled then sighed and motioned to her food. “How’s your pasta?” He noticed she hadn’t eaten very much. Her stomach wouldn’t allow it. She was starving but she was using the lack of food as a punishment for her lies.

“It’s good.” She told him and caught him smile. “I’m just not as hungry as I thought I was.”

His smile disappeared.

“What?” Kera demanded. “Did I do something wrong?”

Maddox shook his head. “I can’t figure you out Kera.” He sounded exasperated. “You won’t let me in on even the smallest thing. I can practically hear your stomach growl from over here but you won’t eat. I haven’t been able to get a straight answer out of you and when I do I have a feeling you’re not being honest with me.”

Kera gulped. She asked for it. Here it was. Maddox was pegging her like he had known her all her life. She couldn’t keep doing this. “I should go.” Kera resigned herself to this failure. At least she tried. 

Maddox paid and had the waitress box Kera’s leftovers. He helped her from her seat as gentle as ever and held her up as they walked to his car.

Kera felt ridiculous as she continued to lie with each deceptive step she took. She leaned against Maddox and allowed him to take care of her when she only needed him to help her lie. How would he feel if he knew he assisted her in deceiving him?

Inside the car, Maddox sat for a moment before he turned on the engine. He was confusing her with his mood. She told herself that she had to let it go because she would never see him again. Her chest hurt.