SHIFT (Mackenzie Grey #1) (19 page)

“I said let him go! Don’t make me repeat myself.”

The two captains slowly released the Skin Walker and he stood in place for a moment, waiting to see if it was a trick. When he came to the conclusion that he was really about to be let go, I started to back away with Jonah at my side. I looked up and saw Amy flying down the stairs towards me.

“No one comes near us. If you do, I’ll kill him.” Sebastian grabbed Amy just as she was about to approach me. Even Lucian watched me with concern. For once, I did something he didn’t expect.

The three of us backed away and as soon we got to the double doors, the Skin Walker whispered in my ear, “The basement of Caleb’s apartment.”

I had one shot and one shot only. Everything depended on me getting this right. I pushed Jonah as hard as I could toward the crowd of wolves that were on the brink of losing control—turned around dug my claws through the Skin Walker’s back. With my other hand I grabbed hold of his neck for stability and forced my hand further until I had a firm grip on his heart.

I didn’t know what was going on behind me, whether the Pack was going to attack me or not, but I hoped that someone heard the location where Jackson was being held.

With my mouth to his ear, I said, “I have allegiance to no one.” And ripped out his heart.

Interning at 1PP had taught me many things, but I was most grateful for the wisdom of Detective Garrett Michaels. He had always told me that being a good officer wasn’t the most important aspect of the job; it was about making the tough decisions, the ones that could leave you scarred for life that made you great in this field. Even if people didn’t like you for it, someone had to do it—and sometimes you had to break the rules.

I didn’t know how I would feel after killing the Skin Walker. I hadn’t set out to do it, it was a last minute decision—but I knew it was one I had to make for the good of everyone else. Jonah was going to kill him before ever finding out where his brother was or if he was even alive. I prayed that he was. I may not be religious, but if there was a God looking down on me, I hoped he was listening and as I went against one of his commandments, I prayed he’d forgive me too—because I wasn’t sure if I could.

The murmurs outside the door made me keep my eyes closed. If I opened them, then I’d have to admit to the things I’d done. No one had said a word when I stood at the entrance of the warehouse with a crumpled Skin Walker at my feet, and a bloody, unbeating heart in my hand. The commotion behind me dulled to white noise as someone dragged me away. My hand dripping a trail of crimson in my wake.

I didn’t remember much afterward, but I knew it had been six days, thirteen hours, and twenty three minutes since the killing. Every time someone came in to either check on me or bring me food, I closed my eyes and pretended to be asleep. I wasn’t ready to face anyone—not yet.

For all the smack I talked, I wasn’t prepared to feel this void of emotion, to feel stripped of my humanity and overall, to feel this dirty. I didn’t understand because he was the bad guy. I did something good—didn’t I? So why did I feel this way?

The door creaked open and I smelled who it was—Amy. She’d been visiting me every day as I laid in bed, unmoving.

“Hey Kenz,” she said as she sat on the bed and gripped my hand. “Tomorrow’s the full moon and everyone is heading to the Estate. I know I’m not allowed to go because it could be dangerous, but I need to speak to you before you go. Sebastian said he’s taking you whether you wake up or not. Please, Mackenzie. If not for me, at least for Ollie. He’s been calling your phone nonstop and he’s worried. Please, just wake up already, everything is alright now. Jackson’s back. I’ve been helping Blu take care of him.” She paused. “Okay, well, I’ll check on you again this afternoon. I love you, Kenz.” She planted a kiss on my forehead and left the room.

I waited a few minutes before gazing at the ceiling again. I needed to get my bearings together before the full moon.

I heard someone turn the door knob and I shut my eyes quickly—maybe I wasn’t ready just yet.

“Mackenzie Grey, you need to wake up. I’m tired of everyone crying over you and your nonresponsive ass. Just because I’m not at a hundred percent and need some bed rest, doesn’t mean I’m the next Doctor Phil. So either you pop those gray eyes open, or I flip this mattress. You have thirty seconds to decide.”

I knew I hadn’t missed Jackson that much. What a douchebag.

“If you lay a finger on this bed, I’ll cut you,” I said—or at least tried to say. I hadn’t spoken a word in days and my throat was as dry as the Sahara desert.

“Ah, there she is. Welcome back to the world of the living.”

I opened my eyes as he handed me a glass of water. I sipped it as I lifted my sore body into a sitting position. All I’d done was lay in bed and occasionally use the restroom, but my muscles ached.

“Who’s been crying over me?”

He leaned on the bed on one elbow. “Oh you know, the usual suspects: Amy, Blu, Sebastian, Jonah, hell, you even got big ol’ Bernard concerned. Man, even the vamp has been visiting the warehouse on a daily basis. When’d you become best friends with that leech?”

“Since he helped me save your sorry ass. When am I going to get a thank you for that anyways?”

He snorted. “Not in this lifetime, doll.” Figured.

I bit my lower lip and juggled with my next question. “How bad is it?”

Jackson cocked his head to the side. “Is that why you’ve been in a self-induced coma these past couple days? You think you’re in trouble?” I couldn’t respond so I nodded. “Man, I wish I could say that was the case but no, you’re a damn hero to these idiots. Get out of your feelings and go say hi to your admirers. Even my father is excited about meeting you.”

I waited to see if he was joking but he wasn’t. I thought that would make me feel better but it only made me anxious—and not in a good way.

“On a serious note, Mackenzie, get out of this room and face your fear. It’s the only way.”

“I know,” I muttered as I worried my hands.

“Then get up. Amy’s concerned about you, don’t do that to your friend.”

It was my turn to cock a brow. “Amy, huh?” I smirked.

He pushed my shoulder. “Zip it. She’s cool.”

“Mhm…sure.”

He shook his head and stood up to leave.

“Jackson.” He turned around. “I’m glad you’re okay.”

For a moment I thought he would actually say something nice, but I shouldn’t have had such high expectations.

“Don’t get soft on me, Mackenzie. Now hurry up, they’re waiting.”

I showered, brushed my teeth and hair—meticulously cleaning every tainted part of my body. There were a pair of clean jeans and a long sleeved shirt on top of the night stand that I put on and I slipped my feet into a pair of slippers that were left beside the bed. Cracking the door open, I stepped onto the second floor landing and peered down to the main floor. The cafeteria style room had a few occupants but it wasn’t overflowing like it had in the past. I scanned the group to ensure that the people I needed to see were there.

They were seated at one of the tables eating lunch and I didn’t move from my spot as I spied on them. They laughed at something and Blu tipped her head back, spotting me from where I was.

“Mackenzie,” she exclaimed and everyone at the table followed her line of sight.

I hadn’t looked at myself in the mirror, so I didn’t know if I looked like shit or not but I could only hope I was at least half way decent. The staring and quiet made me feel awkward and I shifted my feet, trying to find the courage to move.

Jackson nodded and I wanted to slap myself for finding the nerve to move from him. But it did the trick. I headed down the stairs slowly, my muscles adapting to moving again, and met Amy at the foot of the stairs. She wrapped her arms around me in a soft embrace. I expected and was preparing for a hug that would knock me off my feet.

“I missed you, Kenz,” she whispered and I felt my eyes water. I swallowed my tears and hugged her back.

“I missed you too, Aims.”

She released me and walked me to the table. No one else got up to greet me and I was grateful. I couldn’t take it, not now. I got a nod from Sebastian and Jonah, and a smile from Blu. Other than that, everyone went back to their lunchtime chit chat. Thank God.

Once lunch was over, Sebastian pulled me to the side and told me to meet him in his office in ten minutes. Those were the longest ten minutes of my life.

Amy and Blu had been keeping me company—talking about anything that wasn’t recent—when I excused myself and went down to the basement. I stood outside of Bash’s office for a minute, feeling the heat crawl up my neck and my palms were clammy. I was nervous because I knew what we had to talk about, and I didn’t want to have this conversation just yet.

I knocked on the door twice before he gave me the okay to come in. He sat behind his desk and Jonah sat in one of the seats across from him—his back toward me.

“Hey, uh, you wanted to see me?” I mumbled.

Sebastian raised his head from the stack of papers on his desk. “Yeah, come have a seat and shut the door behind you.”

I took two deep breaths and steadied my heartbeat. Shaking out the nerves, I relaxed and did as I was told—for once. I looked straight ahead at the bookshelf behind Sebastian and tried to read their titles—anything to distract me from looking at him or Jonah.

“We didn’t want to bother you so soon but with the full moon tomorrow, we needed to talk about some things,” Jonah started. “We hadn’t talked about it in detail before, but as you know, the Pack heads upstate during this time of the month. Instead of making you go, we want to give you the option.”

My gaze snapped to Jonah. They were giving me an out.

“This isn’t a trick, Mackenzie,” Sebastian said, “you’ve been through enough, we don’t want to push you.”

I wanted to cry and break down, I felt broken inside. Maybe I was being dramatic, but one thing was for sure, I didn’t want them to see me that way. I didn’t want to be handled with kid gloves, or be treated as if I were made of porcelain. That was how they treated their Lunas and I definitely wasn’t one of them. My pride wouldn’t let me.

“I’ll be fine to go.”

“Kenz, you don’t have to make a decision now. Think it over—” Jonah started and I cut him off.

“I said I’ll go. My decision is final.”

“Okay, that’s settled. Don’t push, Jonah. Now we need to talk about what happened.”

“What about it?” I said in a flat tone. I wasn’t ready.

“Mackenzie, when we head to the Estate, there’s going to be some questions raised in regards to the Skin Walker. Mainly, how you knew for a fact that Caleb wasn’t who he said he was.”

“I didn’t.” I could have lied but this was eating me up alive: the fear that I could have been wrong and possibly killed an innocent person in cold blood.

“You can’t say that to my father.”

“Well I won’t lie!” I exclaimed. “I didn’t know for sure, I took a chance and I lucked out. End of story.”

“Mackenzie, he’s not telling you to lie. But you do have to be careful with what you tell Charles. All we’re trying to do is keep you alive. We don’t want anything to go wrong,” Sebastian said.

“I appreciate the sentiment guys, but I’m screwed either way. No matter how you paint the picture, I’ll never be a Luna.” I stood from my chair and left the office. Neither one tried to stop me.

I went back to the main floor where Amy was on her phone, probably checking Facebook. I slid onto the bench across from her and she perked up.

“Oh my gosh, you should see the pictures Diana Stone just posted on Instagram. Nana Carson would freak if she saw them. I’m tempted to screen-shot and mail them to her with the note,
this is your future daughter-in-law
written on the back. What do you think?”

I chuckled. “I think you’re insane. Let me see.” She passed me her phone and sure enough, they were some scandalous pictures of Diana Stone dancing on top of a bar wearing next to nothing. “These would give Nana a heart attack.”

“Oh, but the revenge would be ever so sweet. That stupid bimbo,” Amy said as I heard the click of her taking a screen shot on her phone.

“Aims, we’re busting out of this joint. At least for a couple hours,” I joked. “I’m heading to the Estate with the rest of the Pack tomorrow for the full moon. Let’s hang out, I owe you for being such a shitty friend these past couple of days.”

“Heck yeah you owe me! No one else would have put up with your fake sleeping.”

I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, yeah. Well where do you want to go?”

“Honestly?” I nodded. “I kind of want to go home and have a Netflix day. Maybe order some Thai?”

“Amy, that sounds like pure bliss.”

“Pass me the pad Thai,” Amy asked and I handed over the to-go container.

“Anymore sticky rice?”

“Yeah,” she said and we dug into a cold, second helping of Thai food. We’d been sitting on the living room floor watching reruns of House of Cards and trying to eat with chop sticks. “I swear, I’d totally do Frank Underwood. I love his side notes.”

“Ugh, gross, Amy.”

“Oh, whatever, like you don’t salivate over Mark Harmon from NCIS.”

I rolled my eyes. “He’s freakin’ hot for an old guy!”

“So is Kevin Spacey!”

We watched until episode thirteen of the first season, with a few interjections from Amy trying to prove why Frank was doable. My phone was plugged into the charger when I heard it ding, notifying me of a text.

Jonah
: When are you coming back?

Me
: Tomorrow, why?

Jonah
: Curious. Be safe.

I didn’t respond and I didn’t think he was expecting one in return. I appreciated his concern, but I needed to detach myself from this infatuation I had with him and Sebastian, especially if I was going to leave after the third day of the full moon. Regardless of what happened, the plan was still the same—I was not joining the Pack.

While Amy made hot chocolate, I went into my room and called Ollie. From what Amy told me, he had been calling every day and knew something wasn’t right. He answered before the first ring ended and I could hear the sigh of relief when he heard my voice. I made up some bullshit excuse about coming down with a cold and how I didn’t want to worry him. I knew he didn’t buy my cover story but he didn’t press me. It was how our family functioned.

“You know I’m here for you, Kenzie, with anything you need, no matter what,” he said and it made me smile.

“I know, Ollie.”

We said our goodbyes and I mulled over our conversation. I hoped I made the right decision again—for everyone involved.

I went back to the living room where Amy was looking up something else to watch on our Netflix queue. She’d cleaned up our cartons of take out and replaced them with two steaming mugs of hot chocolate with floating mini marshmallows. And we spent the rest of our time before the full moon just like that. Remembering that we were still human.

“Okay, so on the last night, you’re going to rent a car and head back to the city?” Amy asked as she helped me pack my duffle bag.

“Yes, Amy, no worries. We’ve gone over this. I’ll rent a car from wherever it is we’ll be at and I’ll scoop you up and then we’re hitting the road to freedom. So have only your basic necessities packed, not your whole closet,” I said as I narrowed my eyes at the little deviant. If I didn’t restrain her, I’d be tugging along a U-Haul with just her clothes.

“I know, I know!” she exclaimed as she jumped up and down. For some reason this excited her. I wished I could feel the same way, the nerves in me made me want to take a Xanax. Just before I left, I pulled her into a death grip hug.

“I love you, Amy. Thank you for being an amazing best friend. I couldn’t have done any of this without you,” I mumbled into her red flaming hair as her tattooed arms hugged me back. I thought of when we first met and how even though she was human, she knew exactly what to do when I went through my first Change. Unknowingly, she had protected me all these years from the normal and the paranormal. I owed her more than I could ever repay. I just hoped I was doing her justice by my choices.

I took a bus and a train to get to Dumbo, Brooklyn, where the Pack headquarters were located. I spent the whole ride trying to calm down with some of the greatest hits from the Beatles on my iPod. Unfortunately, Paul and John weren’t doing it for me today.

With my duffle bag slung over my shoulder, I pushed the double doors into the warehouse and was met by a busy crowd of wolves packing for their three day trip. I roamed through the crowd trying to find a familiar face, while many waved and smiled at me. Some patted me on the back and for the first time, the Pack accepted me as one of them. No more glares or weird looks from them. They now saw me with admiration, as family, which made my leaving that much harder. I wasn't attached to them—I mean I barely knew them, but it was a nice thought to have knowing that there was a group of people just like me that could have been family, who understood the troubles I went through and wouldn’t judge.

I couldn’t find anyone on the main floor and didn’t see anyone on the second and third landing. I headed toward the basement and to Sebastian’s office. The door was open and everyone except Blu was inside.

I knocked on the door and all eyes turned to me. “Can I come in?” Sebastian waved me in and Bernard offered me his seat. “Uh, no thanks, I just came by to find out if there’s anything I need to do. A lot is going on out there,” I said and shifted on my feet.

“If you’re all packed then you’re all set. We’re leaving in about an hour,” Jonah said. “You can ride with us up to Little Falls. Blu is coming as well.” I nodded and took comfort that Blu would be in the car with us. It would be uncomfortable with just the boys.

“Can you all excuse us?” Sebastian motioned to the captains that were in the room. One by one they trickled out and Jonah paused a moment by my side and pulled me into an embrace.

“Everything’s going to be okay, Kenz.”

He left and I was alone with the Alpha. He leaned back in his chair and motioned for me to sit down. I didn’t argue.

“Listen. I know what happened with the Skin Walker is hard on you but you need to get over it. This isn’t you, Mackenzie. You’re stronger than this and you need to start showing it,” Sebastian said. “So you killed the bastard? So what? What you don’t know is that he was collecting different skins from all over the city. He was trying to infiltrate the Pack and take over to start a war with the Vampires. He killed one of my best captains and made us doubt that Caleb was a good wolf. He was a bad guy, Mackenzie, you did the world a favor. Instead of pouting around, why don’t you give yourself a pat on the back and walk around here with some pride. You didn’t just prove yourself to the Pack—you’re changing the status quo with the Lunas. This is groundbreaking, be proud of that.”

I nodded but didn’t say anything. I wanted to and I knew he was expecting it, but if I opened my mouth I would start laughing. This was the worst and best pep talk ever.

“Whatever,” he rolled his eyes. “Before you go, this package came in for you.” He handed me a FedEx envelope. “This isn’t your personal post office, so unless you’re joining the Pack, don’t use this address.”

“Yes sir,” I saluted him and grabbed my mystery mail from his desk. I turned around to leave, assuming I was dismissed.

“And Mackenzie?” he stopped me and I looked back to catch a smirk on his face as his blue eyes glinted with something I could only think of as dangerous. “This only makes me want you even more.”

If I could swoon into a puddle of nothing, I would—but I couldn’t. I wouldn’t give any of them the satisfaction of seeing how much they affected me.

Halfway down the hallway, I started to open the envelope Sebastian had given me and couldn’t help but smile when I saw its contents. It couldn’t have come at a better time. I stuffed it in my duffle bag and went to look for Blu.

Three hours and forty five minutes. That’s how long it took us to get from Brooklyn to Little Falls, New York. The scenery was beautiful, but ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall was grating my last nerves. Did they have to sing every road trip song known to man?

We drove through Main Street and it reminded me of home—of Cold Springs. I guessed a lot of these little upstate towns were similar. The only difference was that Little Falls was surrounded by so much nature, I had to pull my window down to suck in the fresh air. The small town was only less than ten miles away from the Estate and I couldn’t miss it even if I were lost. The tall-iron wrought gate with concrete pillars on either side welcomed you to Cadwell Estate: a hundred and fifty seven acres of land that housed the werewolves of the Northeast once a month. The three mile drive through the estate was just as beautiful and my face was glued to the car window as I stared wide eyed, and mouth agape.

“Welcome to The Estate, Mackenzie Grey,” Blu whispered beside me and I smiled. This was unreal. I snapped pictures just as we pulled in to the driveway of a three story home and texted them to Amy.

The trail of cars that had followed us pulled in as well and began to unload their cars. I got out and went to the trunk of our SUV to help Bernard but he waved me off.

“Go check out the grounds, you have that glow in your eyes that I had when I first came here. Go on, have fun,” Bern said.

Blu giggled and pulled me along to show me around. “Oh my, gosh, Kenzie, we’re going to have so much fun! I can smell the burning wood already which means the bonfire has started!” she squealed and I had to double time it to keep up with her.

“Not so fast there, girls,” Jonah stopped us in our tracks. “I need to borrow Kenz before you start showing her how to misbehave,” he winked at Blu and she nodded.

“Fine. I’ll look for you later, Kenz,” she giggled and ran off toward the bonfire.

“Am I already in trouble?” I cocked an eyebrow toward Jonah.

His dimple peaked out. “No, Kenz,” he shook his head. “My father just wants to meet you.” Oh shit.

I followed him back around the house and to the front door. He pushed it open and we walked into a massive foyer that was decorated with wall art and a solitary table with a vase of flowers in the center, right in front of the winding staircase.

“You grew up here?” I said as my mouth hung open.

Jonah chuckled. “Yeah. A lot of us have. Come on, his office is this way,” he said and motioned me to his left. We went through two living rooms and a dining room until we were standing in front of closed doors. “Don’t forget what we talked about,” he whispered and pushed the doors open.

The smell of wood, rain and cigars hit me as I walked in. The office was the size of my whole apartment. It was filled to the brim with books and art. The massive oak wood desk situated in the middle of the room was bigger than my dining room table. Behind it stood a man about the same height as Jonah and with the same brown hair that was slicked back and tossed into perfect waves. The anticipation was killing me as I waited for him to turn around. He wore khaki slacks with a tucked in plaid long sleeve shirt. He held a tumbler of dark liquid in his right hand, with his left resting on his lower back.

“The prodigal son returns and with none other than the infamous Mackenzie Grey. What a delight,” Jonah’s father said as he turned around and I was met with identical milk chocolate eyes that twinkled against the wood burning in the fireplace.

“Mackenzie, this is my father, Charles Cadwell,” Jonah introduced and I nervously rubbed my sweaty palm on my jeans before I reached out to shake his hand.

Charles looked down at my open palm as if I were passing him a piece of turd.

“I guess the rumors are true, you don’t act like a Luna,” he said as he finally shook my hand.

“Father,” Jonah hissed and I waved him off.

“Don’t worry,” I smiled. “But yes Mr. Cadwell, I’m not your typical Luna.”

He narrowed his eyes and then nodded. “Hm. I see that. Have a seat, Ms. Grey, we have much to discuss.” I did as I was told and sat across from Charles. He offered me bourbon but I declined. I needed to be sober for this conversation. “Jonah, son, we won’t be needing you just yet. Why don’t you go seek Sebastian and help him situate everything for Ms. Grey tonight?”

Jonah was hesitant at first but I smiled at him in reassurance and he put his hand on my shoulder before leaving.

“He has gotten quite fond of you, hasn’t he?” Charles asked.

“We’ve become good friends,” I said, trying to be diplomatic and keep my heart from racing.

“Right. Of course. Then again it seems you have everyone in a frenzy right now,” he said as he swished his drink around. “Killing a rogue Skin Walker and saving my son—that’s not something you see every day—much less from a Luna, which begs the question, where did you come from?”

“I told—”

“I know, I know, that was a rhetorical question. You see, I think I have an idea who you are and if I’m correct, you will soon be a hot commodity within the Lycan world, Ms. Grey.”

I sat motionless and absorbed what Charles was telling me, while keeping my face and body neutral—my insides were about to explode. I knew who I was: Mackenzie Grey from Cold Springs, New York, daughter of Thomas and Joyce Grey, sister to Oliver Grey, twenty two year old, aspiring detective with the NYPD—and I was a werewolf. I didn’t need anyone coming along and trying to tell me otherwise—but I couldn’t say I wasn’t curious, because I was.

“What are you trying to say, Mr. Cadwell?”

He eyed me and smirked. Instead of one, he had a dimple in each cheek but it still reminded me a lot of Jonah. The similarity between the two of them was uncanny.

“What I’m getting at, Ms. Grey is that the people who you think are your parents, are not. You’re adopted.”

I busted out laughing, the hysterical kind, which in result made Jonah burst into the room like it was on fire.