Authors: Em Bailey
This is all just a joke to him,
I reminded myself.
And I’m the punchline.
There was no other explanation. No matter what Ami said. I was angry with myself for starting to think otherwise – even for a moment. People like me and Lachlan didn’t belong
together.
I turned back around, my folded arms a barrier across my body. ‘I’d better get back to work.’
‘Am I distracting you from your dancing?’
I didn’t return the smile and Lachlan’s soon faded. ‘Oh. OK,’ he said quietly. ‘See ya.’
I stood there stiffly until he’d walked out the double doors and into the night.
I thought I’d feel lighter once he’d gone. I knew I’d done the right thing by sending him away. And even if by some miracle it
wasn’t
a joke, people like Lachlan
didn’t fit into my world anyway. My new world.
But the heavy feeling didn’t go. In fact, it grew stronger as the evening dragged on. By the time my shift ended, I felt heavier than I ever had since starting my meds.
On Monday morning Katie was sitting on her desk, her friends clustered around. I didn’t need to listen in to know what they were discussing. You would have thought they
were organising the Olympics from the amount of time they’d spent discussing the formal. The theme was Winter Beach Party, and they were agonising over whether it would be better to decorate
the hall with fake sand dunes or fake icebergs, or with sand dunes that looked like icebergs, and whether the glitter around the welcome sign should be silvery-white or yellowy-gold. You know
– the big issues.
‘Look at their faces,’ I said to Ami. ‘They’re genuinely worried about it.’
Ami gave me a look. ‘Wasn’t it
you
who came up with the theme, way back when?’
That was the problem with Ami. She never let me forget anything.
As we walked past Lachlan’s row, he reached out and grabbed hold of my hand. ‘Hang on,’ he said, and I found myself stopping, even though after his visit to the Mercury,
I’d vowed I was going to avoid him. It’s hard to do that when someone’s warm fingers are wrapped around yours, though.
Play it mucho relaxed,
I told myself, hoping my hands weren’t sweaty.
Don’t show him how he affects you
. ‘Let me guess,’ I said. ‘The ice-cream gave you
food poisoning?’
‘No, I just wanted to –’
But then Katie swooped, like a bird protecting its territory. ‘Lachie,’ she breathed. ‘Thank god you’re here. We really need a guy’s perspective on
something.’
I couldn’t help smirking at Lachlan as Katie pulled him over to her desk. It was unsurprising, really, that someone with the physical dimensions of a stop sign was such an effective
blocker. I told myself I was grateful, trying to ignore the lingering heat on my hand.
Miranda was already seated when I reached the back row, her hands folded on the desk, leaning forwards. My eyes were drawn to her wrist and for some reason I felt a surge of relief when I saw
that the pink thread hadn’t returned.
Miranda was looking pretty good. Her dermatitis seemed to have cleared up and her skin had an almost-healthy pinkish tinge to it. Her hair was shining, closer now to blonde than its previous
mousy tone. Even her body looked more solid. It reminded me of how the eating-disorder girls at the clinic looked when they finally started eating again.
Ami noticed the change too. ‘Looks like our shapeshifter is starting to take shape,’ she murmured. I was pretty sure she was kidding, despite the wary look on her face.
Katie and the others were so deep in conversation that they didn’t even notice when Miss Falippi hurried in late, her herbal tea sloshing onto the floor as usual. I’d inspected one
of those tea spills once. It looked like dirt and bark, the kind of mixture little kids concoct in the sandpit.
Miss Falippi didn’t seem to notice the mess she’d made. She looked in a bad mood, and was frowning at the meeting taking place on Katie’s desk. ‘That’s enough
talking now, people,’ she said. ‘Plenty of time to discuss social events during lunch.’
Katie pouted and slithered down into her seat. Lachlan, looking grateful, returned to his. I felt his eyes turn towards me, but I concentrated on rearranging my pens. Miss Falippi began writing
notes on the whiteboard and Katie turned back to whispering with Paige.
‘I said that’s enough, Katie,’ said Miss Falippi, without looking around.
Katie was quiet for a moment, but gradually started up again. There was a loud click as Miss Falippi snapped the lid back on the marker.
‘Sparks,’ I muttered to Ami, ‘are about to fly.’
‘Or maybe whiteboard markers,’ Ami whispered back as Miss Falippi turned around. ‘She’s holding that one like a spear.’
‘Katie Clarke,’ said Miss Falippi. ‘This is
unacceptable
behaviour.’
‘I didn’t do anything,’ said Katie, doing her doe-eyed thing.
When Miss Falippi cracked the shits, it was like a flash flood, pouring from nowhere, swift and brutal. ‘That’s
it
! I won’t have this rudeness in my classroom. I’m
taking you off the school-formal committee.’
Katie gaped. This was a new experience for her – getting told off – but somehow I knew exactly what she would do.
‘What about Olive?’ she said. ‘She’s
always
talking and you never punish her.’
‘Just ignore them,’ whispered Ami as every pair of eyes in the room turned to fix on me, including Lachlan’s. But at least his were friendly.
He gestured towards Katie with his thumb.
Wonk,
he mouthed, shaking his head in this funny, dramatic way. I knew he was doing it to make me feel better. And it did work, at least a little
bit. Then there was the sound of a chair scraping against the floor next to me, and suddenly the focus of the room shifted once more.
Now everyone was looking at Miranda, who was standing up. ‘Katie wasn’t talking,’ she said, her voice clear and confident. ‘I was.’
Miss Falippi looked off balance for a moment. Then her eyes narrowed. ‘Oh, really? And who were you talking to?’
On one side of Miranda was an empty chair. On the other side was me – and we never spoke.
Miranda’s eyes flicked towards me and she gave me this strange, sneaky smile, like I was somehow part of this game she was playing. ‘I was talking to myself,’ she said.
Miss Falippi’s mouth was ruler straight. ‘Are you sure about that?’
Miranda nodded. ‘Yes.’
‘Fine,’ said Miss Falippi crisply. ‘Then you are forbidden from attending the formal. You will also stay back for detention with me this afternoon and write an essay on the
importance of silence. Tomorrow you will read it for the class. Understood?’
Miranda looked at Miss Falippi, steady and unafraid, wearing the same superior look as when Katie had gone mental at her. Like all of this was beneath her. ‘Understood.’
Miss Falippi glared around the room. ‘Let me be clear,’ she said. ‘If one more person speaks out of turn today, I’ll ban the whole class from attending the
formal.’
The rest of the morning passed in total silence. No-one wanted to be the one to send Miss Falippi over the edge.
Just before the bell, I saw Katie quickly turn and nod at Miranda. A thank-you nod. Miranda nodded back.
Ralph bounded up to me as I unlocked the front door that afternoon, his tongue lolling out. A note had been tucked into his collar.
Your mum and Toby have gone to the shops. They’ll be back around dinner time. Can you please take me for a walk? I am driving your mum crazy. Lots of love, Ralph.
‘Your handwriting is really improving, Ralphy,’ I said, scratching the itchy spot between his ears. ‘I’ll change, then we’ll walk. But try to act your
dog
age, OK? No running off.’
Before, I used to head to the beach for our walks so Ralph could work on his wave-biting skills and growl at the seaweed monsters. But the beach was out of the question now, of course. I could
handle being near the swimming pool because it stayed pretty flat. But the ocean, with its swells and waves and hidden currents, made me clammy. Even Dr Richter had advised me to avoid it for the
time being.
‘We don’t want to trigger a relapse,’
she said.
Besides, from the way Ralph was leaping about I figured he needed an exercise challenge. That meant heading through the forest behind the school and running up the hill.
Dad used to take me for walks in the forest all the time when I was in primary school. I never told him but I was always scared going there, mainly because of the stories we’d all heard
from the older kids about the cannibal who lurked in the trees.
Never leave the path,
we used to warn each other.
That’s how he gets you.
The forest was dark and damp and full
of gnarled roots that could trip you up. In the fairytales Mum had read me as a kid, the woods were always places where witches lived or where uncaring parents abandoned their children. It was
always our forest that I pictured as I listened.
That afternoon though, the sun was bright and warm, and I was actually looking forward to going in. It felt like I hadn’t done any exercise in ages. As we crossed the highway into the
forest, I unleashed Ralph and straight away he started tearing around chasing imaginary rabbits. I put on my headphones and warmed up for a run, pretending that I was in a tropical garden scented
with fruit and flowers rather than a dank forest that stank of rot. I started to hum, jogging along at an easy pace behind Ralph.
We hadn’t gone far when Ralph froze, his hackles rising.
‘What’s up, crazy dog?’ I said, taking off my headphones and stopping beside him. ‘Did those phantom bunnies get away again?’
But then I saw what had caught his attention. Up ahead on the path was a figure silhouetted against the dwindling light. At first I was certain it was Miranda, but a moment later I wasn’t. The
figure was too far away and too hard to see. I had this uneasy feeling that whoever it was, they were watching me. Waiting. There was a sharp twinge in my head then, and I closed my eyes against
the pain. By the time the throbbing had passed and I straightened up, the figure was gone.
Ralph was sniffing the air, muscles tensed.
‘Ralphy,’ I pleaded. ‘Stay with me.’
But before I’d even finished the sentence he’d leapt off down the path, barking loudly. The light was disappearing rapidly and the cold night air was settling.
‘Ralph?’ I sounded whiny, childish. ‘Come
here
.’
But Ralph ignored me, as usual, and there was nothing I could do but follow the path, praying he’d stick to it. The forest had become very silent. No birds. No insects. It was as if every
living creature had disappeared.
And then, very faintly, I heard something. The crack-snap of twigs and branches breaking underfoot. ‘Ralphy?’ My breath snagged in my throat.
No, definitely not Ralph.
This was a person and, from the sound of it, they were running through the forest’s thick undergrowth. Towards me.
My chest constricted.
Breathe, Olive. Don’t freak.
Lots of people ran in the forest all the time. Totally normal, non-scary people. But my throat refused to relax.
The noise grew louder. Closer. And then I could hear another noise too – a low gasping sound that seemed to echo all around. Panic scrambled through me.
A person stumbled into view, lurching unsteadily through a gap in the trees. Miss Falippi? I’d never seen her look like this before. Hair full of leaves, clothes covered with mud. She had
this wild look in her eyes, and she kept twisting around to see someone or
something
behind her.
It’s like a movie,
I thought, feeling dazed. The scene where the panicked woman is chased through the forest. As she stumbled closer I was shocked by how unfocused her eyes were,
and how red. I’d heard the druggy rumours about Miss Falippi, of course, but I’d never taken them seriously.
Miss Falippi stopped and leant on a tree a couple of metres from me, breathing raggedly. Did she even know I was there? She seemed so wired. I took a step forward and touched her lightly on the
arm. ‘Miss Falippi? Are you OK?’
Miss Falippi spun around, a look of complete terror on her face, like I was some kind of monster. ‘Stop following me! I said you could leave, didn’t I? Please … just go.’
She started to whimper then. ‘Oh, what have you done to me?’