Shelter of Hope (5 page)

“An idiot?”

“I didn’t say that, but now that I think of it, most definitely. What just happened in the barn? What are you so afraid of?”

Words that described how he felt about her jammed in his throat, and no matter how much he told his mouth to say them, he couldn’t get them out.

“Never mind. Your silence speaks loud and clear.” She pushed past him and kept limping away.

Why am I so afraid to take that first step? Lord, help.

With her back ramrod straight, she lengthened the distance between them. Sweat popped out on his forehead, a rivulet rolling into his eye and stinging it.

“When you didn’t show up today, it reminded me of the day of the hurricane, when my wife didn’t show up.”

Chapter Nineteen

Story:

Nathan’s words shivered down Susan’s body. Although downright hot at ten o’clock in the morning, a chill embedded itself deep within her bones. She heard his footsteps as he closed the space between them. She should keep walking all the way to Hope. But the blister now forming on her left heel put a stop to that outlandish thought. The least she could do was hear him out,
then
stomp off.

“I’m sorry, Susan. I should have listened to what you wanted to tell me. What happened? Where’s your car? And why are you limping?”

“I dropped something off at Zane’s and decided to take the more scenic route to the farm. My car is six miles that way.” She gestured down the road that intersected the highway about fifty feet from where they stood. “I had a blowout and couldn’t fix it. My cell wasn’t charged so I decided to walk. At seven-thirty it wasn’t this hot.” The temperature soared with the intensity of his stare.

“Why didn’t you go back to Zane’s? His place had to be closer.”

“I didn’t think of that. All I thought about was getting to the farm. I figured there would be more traffic, and I’d hitch a ride with someone.”

“That’s not safe.”

Do you care about my safety?
she wanted to ask, but didn’t. “I would only get into a car of someone I knew, or a kindly old lady.”

He laughed, and the sound dissolved some of the anger that gripped her. He moved closer.

She stepped back and hurriedly asked, “What did you mean, I reminded you of your wife and the day of the hurricane? That’s the day she was killed. What happened? My circumstances weren’t like the ones of that day at all.”

He closed his eyes for a few seconds, and when he opened them, sadness leaked into his expression. “I was expecting her to return to the farm. She had said she was going into town to get some last-minute supplies. I tried to tell her there probably weren’t any left, and the weather was taking a nasty turn. She wouldn’t listen. She drove off, and that was the last time I saw her. Carly and I were preparing for the hurricane. Even then I had animals, and I didn’t want to leave them. As it got late and Caroline didn’t come back, I called her cell. No answer. By the time I tried the sheriff, I couldn’t get through because of the storm. Carly was crying for her mother, and I didn’t know what to tell her.”

Of course…he was still grieving his wife’s death. She’d known that her growing feelings for him wouldn’t be returned, and yet she’d still come, week after week, because she enjoyed being around Nathan and Carly. These past four weekends she’d almost felt as if she was part of their family.

The pain reflected in his features as he relived that day broke Susan’s heart. She wanted to erase the anguish from his expression, smooth the deep grooves from his face. She wanted to kiss him until he let go of his wife.

“I understand, Nathan. When you love someone so much, it’s hard to think you’ll never see her again. I’m sorry I scared you.” She backed away, not wanting to cry in front of him. She didn’t want him to know how much she was falling for him. “Call AAA for me. I’ll wait by my…” But she couldn’t finish as tears clogged her throat.

Chapter Twenty

Story:

Nathan glimpsed the sheen to Susan’s eyes, and reached out to stop her from leaving. He dragged her against him. He didn’t want to lose her, too. “There is no way I will let you walk away.”

“I’ll be perfectly safe. I’ll—”

He crushed his mouth down on hers and wound his arms around her, plastering her to him. He poured all the pent-up feelings he’d been trying to deny for the past month into the kiss. When he lifted his head slightly and drew in a deep, calming breath, her exotic fragrance filled him, mingling with the scent of the pine trees surrounding them.

Slowly her surprised look dissipated. Her forehead crinkled. “Why did you do that?”

“I don’t think I explained myself very well. Caroline and I had been talking about having more children. Or rather,
I’d
been talking about it. That night, she lashed out at me and said she didn’t want any more children. She wanted a life other than being a wife and mother. She stormed out of the house as the hurricane was nearing the coast. She told me she was going to town for more supplies, but instead she was heading to Memphis to her parents’ house.” His gaze locked with Susan’s. He wasn’t going anywhere until he made her understand what he’d been wrestling with for the past year.

“She left her daughter without a word?”

He nodded.

“And you had to pick up the pieces, not only from the hurricane, but from what your wife caused by walking out.”

“For a long time I felt guilty for bringing Caroline to Hope. If she hadn’t been here, she would be alive today. But I’m not going to let guilt rule my life anymore. She made the choice to leave. I couldn’t control her decision.” He snuggled her closer. “I thought I was doing okay. Then I met you, and I began to feel things I used to think I didn’t need. I realized it wasn’t just guilt that was eating at me, but my anger at Caroline. I’m working on forgiving her. I’m not going to live with hate or guilt. I want so much more. I want to feel again what it means to be in love. Will you give Carly and me a chance?”

“Only if Oreo is included in the deal,” she said with a wink. “She needs a good home, and she loves this place.”

“How do
you
feel about this place?”

“I love it. Why else would I have gone to all the trouble to get you help with all your animals?”

“Is that the only reason? The animals?”

She tilted her head to the side and looked skyward. “Well, let me see.” She locked gazes with him. “The owner of the farm isn’t too bad, either, and he has an adorable daughter.”

A peace descended as he shook off the last remnants of his past. As usual the Lord was right.
It is better to forgive than to hold on to anger.

He cupped her face. “I want you in my life.”

“So you don’t mind that I butted into it?”

“When I said those words a month ago, I didn’t know that was the best thing you could have done for me.”

She chuckled and leaned forward, brushing her lips across his. “Then you’re stuck with me. We’ll be each other’s shelter.”

THE END