Shawn's Law (5 page)

I jerked in surprise so hard that the needle in my arm gave a twinge.

“Your Hippy-Hotpants. Man oh man, Shawn. I can see why you’ve been drooling and agonizing over that guy for ages. He’s hot. Wow. What a bod on him. He’s so lovely, as well. He convinced Mum that he was her date and managed to get her out of her room.”

I groaned even louder. My sister and my wet dream had been in the same room together. My sister’s mouth needs a filter at the best of times, and I hadn’t had the chance to warn her off saying anything that might chase the man away. Oh, double crud. It had been four hours since I’d seen him. How much of the time had he spent with Lisa? I groaned again so loudly that I captured the attention of the nearby nurse, Amber.

“Is everything okay, Shawn?” I’d spent so much time in emergency that I knew the nurses too. And they knew me. And my mum. And my sister. “Oh, hi there, Lisa. When did you slip in?”

“Hey, Amber. Just now,” Lisa replied with good cheer.

Amber was frowning at me in concern and said, “I heard Shawn moan, is he okay?”

“Yes. I think he’s fine. He just found out the man of his dreams met our mother.” My sister, to my horror, didn’t have an ounce of discretion.

“Ouch. Hippy-Hotpants has been around your mum, has he? Has he fled the country yet?” Amber was all sympathy.

Did I mention I get chatty and sociable when I’m drugged out of my mind? I obviously tell everyone my secrets too.

Lisa was getting all cozy and telling Amber all. “No. He’s still around. He helped coax Mum out of her room, then met my kids and my husband. Then he drove with my husband back to my house. Mum has become so bad lately that she keeps taking her seatbelt off during a car journey, so it’s best if two adults are in the car to drive her anywhere. Then I had to get all the kids fed and Mum bathed, so he stuck around for a bit until I could drive him home. He’s so sweet, I think I’m going to kidnap him and keep him at my house.”

I closed my eyes as Lisa recited the events the poor guy had had to endure. Perhaps the snakebite would take me out and save me from the embarrassment of knowing my sister tortured my crush. Without opening my eyes, I tried to peel the tape off my hand to rip out the IV.

“Oi.” Amber slapped my hand away. “Stop that. I know what you’re trying to do, Shawn O’Hara, and I know why. If the man cannot love your mother and sister, then he’s not the man for you.”

I looked at Amber with pitying eyes. “Amber, there’s not a man alive that has enough room in his heart and enough patience for me, my mother, and my sister. Hippy-Hotpants is simply a lush lustfest. I don’t know if the man is even gay. And if he is, there’s no way in the world that he would be interested in me.”

Amber smoothed down the edge of the tape on my hand, checked my vitals, and stuck a thermometer in my mouth before she said, “Shawn. I have known you for about three years now, ever since you burned your hand rescuing your mum from that boiling water. Since then your mother has stabbed you twice, given you concussion twice, and once tried to poison you—and that’s only while I’ve been on duty. Each time you come in with remarkable patience about it, never blaming her. I’ve also seen you with a broken leg, in need of stitches, with whiplash, and who can forget the allergic reaction you had to something you ate? You’re the most upbeat man I’ve met, and I think I fell in love with you two years ago. If this man doesn’t fall for you, then he’s an idiot. However, I’ll give you this one piece of advice, so listen closely. Never—”

Whatever Amber was going to say was cut off as an alarm began to blare nearby. I heard someone call, “She’s coding. Grab the paddles.” So Amber rushed off to save a life, leaving me hanging.

I sighed and cursed Shawn’s Law, hoping that I hadn’t killed the poor woman in the cubicle next to me.

A
DAY
later I was still in hospital, this time moved up to a swanky room on the third floor. My leg was swollen and uncomfortable, but if my blood test came back clear that night, they would let me go in the morning.

Lisa had visited and brought my clothes, my Kindle, and my phone charger. I gave a small grimace at the lack of messages waiting for me. My social life was the pits. There were only a handful of friends I still kept in touch with, and my one best-friend-until-we-die-of-old-age-together unfortunately lived in Singapore. I texted Kris, telling him I was in hospital (again), and two hours later, a fruit basket and flower arrangement was delivered (again). Kris was a fantastic friend. He was going to go bankrupt with the amount of flowers and fruit baskets he shelled out for.

I repaid the kindness with anatomically correct sketches of hot men doing kinky things. I’d just sent him another text, thanking him for the gifts and asking what dirty deeds he’d like me to sketch for him, when the phone rang in my hand. I smiled as I answered, knowing it would be Kris.

“Howdy. I’m thinking a shower scene—two buff men doing the dirty while getting clean? What do you reckon?”

There was a pause before an unfamiliar voice said, “Shawn?”

Oh, freak. It wasn’t Kris. “Oh, dear. If this was a wrong number, you wouldn’t know my name. So I’ve just made a donkey of myself.”

There was a chuckle that was semifamiliar, but I couldn’t place it. “You mean an arse of yourself?”

I smiled. I liked this voice, whoever it was. “Yes, I do mean that. But ever since I taught my niece a very bad swear word that rhymes with duck, I’ve been watching my language. So I’m a donkey, not that other word.”

The chuckle was louder. “Oh. So it was you that taught Isabelle how to swear like a sailor?”

“No,” I denied. “I only take responsibility for that one particular word that she drops when she kicks her toe accidently. All the other stuff came from her mother. Now you have me perplexed. Who is this? How do you know Izzy?”

“This is Harley,” he said.

“Who?” I really didn’t know.

“Harley? Otherwise known to your family as Hippy-Hotpants?”

“Oh, God” was my oh-so-elegant reply. I glanced at the window and calculated my chance of being able to open it and jump.

He chuckled in my ear for a third time. “Is that all you have to say to me? After all I was put through on your behalf? All I wanted was to ask you on a date, and instead you gave me a heart attack, then foisted your family on me.” My vocal chords strangled, and I was unable to speak. The silence became uncomfortable. “Shawn? Shawn, are you still there? Are you all right?”

“No. I’m half left,” I stupidly blurted. I smacked my own forehead. There was a reason I didn’t have any dates, and I really had to stop blaming my mother.

“Yes,” that whisky voice told me through the phone. “We’ve had this conversation. But perhaps you were too out of it to remember?”

I couldn’t reply. I was desperately going over every moment of my snakebite and the following hours to remember how pathetic I’d been. It wasn’t looking good.

“Shawn? Are you there?”

“Yes,” I croaked. “I’m just trying to work out if a fall from my third-story window will kill me quickly like I want, or if it’s just going to prolong the agony of my terrible life?”

“I guess it would depend on what you land on. I vote for you not trying to find out. At least until we’ve had a first date. I’d really like one of them, and you with concussion and two broken legs is not going to be a good time.”

My jaw dropped. “What? You really mean it? A date? Like going out together? Alone. Just you and me?”

“Yes.”

“But why?” This time the slap from my own hand against my face was not enough. “Oh, my God,” I cried. “Forget I said that. I’m going now to find a staircase in this hospital that leads upward. Four floors ought to do it.”

This time his chuckle started as a choke. It was a sound I’d heard from many throats in my vicinity. “Date first. And if you look cute enough when I pick you up, I promise to tell you why I want you to go on a first date with me.”

“Oh. You’re not in trouble with the police, are you?” I asked with a sinking heart.

“Ahh… no. Is it a requirement?” he questioned with a puzzled tone.

“Of course not. It’s just the last guy I dated was arrested in front of me. His name was Rory. It was rather embarrassing. You haven’t been arrested, have you?”

“Actually I’ve been arrested twice,” Harley confessed. “Once four years ago, once two years before that.”

My heart sank. “Oh. Do you like cannibalism as well? Rory told me it was human instinct.” I thought it was completely disgusting, but if Hippy-Hotpants wanted to eat raw human organs, I might at least
try
to be understanding about it. Right before I called the police, of course.

Harley snorted on the other end of the phone. “Tell me you’re joking. Because if not, it’s going to be an extremely interesting story I’m dying to hear. But no, my arrests were for protesting logging of the old-growth forests down south.”

“Oh, good.”

“So will you come out with me?” he asked.

“You bet.” Okay—maybe that was a little overenthusiastic, but Harley seemed to like it.

“Great. So when do you get out of hospital, and when can Lisa have your mum for a bit?”

We agreed on the following Friday, since I’d been told I would still be on crutches for at least four days while the swelling subsided in my leg.

That left me seven days to wait. That was not a good thing with Shawn’s Law.

Harley

Our first date.

O
H
,
THE
memories that first date brings back. I deliberately resisted walking past Shawn’s house for the next week so the excitement for our first date would build. I sent him a number of text messages during the week and confirmed our arrangements. My plan was I would pick him up and take him to my favorite Indian restaurant in the city. Then I had tickets to a comedy evening that was getting great reviews, and I intended to take him up to Kings Park, overlooking the city. By that time of night it would be dark. I would bring a picnic blanket, and we could sit and stare at the city lights and be romantic for a while.

I’m not shy to admit that I hoped for a little more than sitting on a blanket in the dark. Nothing porn-movie worthy—just a little make out and maybe a grope or two. Nothing that would have any nosy parkers calling the police. I didn’t expect the night to end up back at my place, but just in case it did, I changed my sheets and made sure I had supplies.

Shawn texted me and explained that he’d contacted a respite agency to sit with his mother that night, so he’d need to be home before midnight. That fit with my plans, so I told him I would pick him up at six o’clock. Early for dinner, but I guess, in the end, it was lucky I did.

Shawn texted me.
Plans around me tend to have a tendency to go awry. I hope you don’t mind.

I remember laughing at that. At the time it was because of the phrasing “tend to have a tendency.” I asked my workmate if it was a double positive, as opposed to a double negative. He told me it was just overemphasizing a point. I would soon learn there was no overemphasis.

I dressed carefully for my date, taking a couple of days to think out the problem of whether to wear underwear or not. Pro: It’s my usual state of dress and Shawn would just have to take me as I am. Con: Can make dates uncomfortable, if they notice. Pro: I would be relaxed and happy without underwear (in contrast to tight and uptight). Con: I had an inclination to spring boners in Shawn’s presence.

I was still undecided about it when I remembered the third part of my planned evening—the kiss in the dark. That decided it for me. If Shawn was an exploring man and wanted to be adventurous, he didn’t need an extra layer of material.

At 5:58 p.m., I jumped in my car and drove the four-hundred-or-so meters to Shawn’s house and almost skipped up the path to knock jauntily on the door. He was ready, but nervous.

“Hi,” I said.

Before he could answer, his mother appeared behind him, dressed in a bright yellow cardigan (despite the weather) and pink slacks. “Arthur. What are you doing here? Do we have a date tonight?”

I laughed and grinned at her. Her absentmindedness was cute, but I was glad I didn’t have to take her in anything more than small doses. “Estelle,” I crowed. “You look more and more beautiful every day. Yes, we have a date, but we’re going boating. So, how about you go and put on a pretty dress? Don’t hurry. I’m happy to wait.”

“Did my father give you permission to take me out tonight?”

“Yes,” I replied soberly. “I promised to take good care of you.”

“Good. I’ll go now.” She danced down the hallway to the bedroom and closed the door.

Shawn was half smiling, half frowning at me. “You shouldn’t have told her that. What happens if she remembers to put on a pretty dress then comes out and you’ve gone? It will break her heart.”

I cocked an eyebrow in his direction. “Is she likely to remember?”

“Well, no. She doesn’t remember anything short-term these days. But I’m just saying.”