Shattered Dreams (The Believe Series Book 1) (7 page)

“Funny Jareth,” Shannon says and turns back to me. “My favorite on you is the kuku lace. I think with your curves, you’ll look like pure sex.”

She pulls it from my hands and holds it up. It’s breathtakingly beautiful. The outer layer is pure black lace with flower type designs and three quarter sleeves, while the under fabric is a thicker lace.

I reach out and run my fingers over it. It feels like pure heaven to the touch. I can’t wait to put it on as it must feel as if you’re wearing nothing at all.

Taking it from her hands I hear Jareth speak, “I’m not a clothes expert, but that dress is going to rock Gage’s world.”

Smiling I say, “Then this is the dress.”

Shannon smiles too. “Then go get dressed,” she says, “he’ll be here soon.” Feeling like a kid on Christmas morning, I rush off to my room to change.

Slipping on shoes, I hear a knock at my bedroom door and then it opens. Shannon sticks her head in. “Can we talk while you’re getting ready?” she asks.

I nod and motion her inside. “You need to tell him,” I say after she closes the door. “He has a right to know.”

She flops down on my bed and sighs. “I know,” she says. “I just don’t know how to tell him.”

I sit down next to her and place my hand on her shoulder. “You have a story, I know,” I say, “A story that is yours and yours alone, but one day, you will need to trust someone and tell them. Let someone help you carry the burden. If Jareth didn’t want to be a part of your life, I don’t think he would be sitting out there in my living room.”

“Ya, I know,” she admits. “I just don’t know how to depend on someone other than myself.”

I inhale deeply and slowly, and then release it. “Why is it, when we finally decide to open our heart again, we worry we might make the same mistakes,” I ask, pleading with my eyes for her to have the answer.

“Have you ever seen the movie,
The Perks of being a Wallflower
?” she asks.

I shake my head. “No,” I answer.

“Well there’s a line from the movie that pretty much sums it all up,” she explains. “
We accept the love we think we deserve
.” Then she turns to face me. “In your case, you were rejected, so you reject everyone. The life you have chosen to live is one of fantasy. Reality cannot be controlled no matter how hard we try, but fiction, with the click of the backspace button, can be. You can’t be hurt by someone who doesn’t really exist. That is your reality.”

I think about what she just said and she’s right. I do accept the love I think I deserve, a love I can control.

“What about you?” I ask knowing I’m treading water. “Haven’t you followed that quote as well?”

She stands. “We aren’t talking about me,” she says with tears in her eyes, and walks out of the room.

Shit
, I think.
Will I ever learn to keep my big mouth shut?
Shannon needs me on her side, not making her feel as if I’m against her. Shaking my head, I walk into the bathroom to do my hair and makeup.

I’m applying lip gloss when I hear Shannon call through the door, “Alicia, Gage is here.”

My heart speeds up and I feel butterflies in my stomach. “Coming,” I call back as arms snake around my waist and I jump.

“You will be tonight,” I hear Gage whisper in my ear.

“Shit Gage,” I say breathlessly and turn in his arms, “You scared me.” My sex clinches when I see what he’s wearing. Clad in a black suit and baby blue tie, he’s every woman’s fantasy come to life. The suit hugs his beautiful body just right, showing his well-defined muscles.

He smirks and kisses me. “Sorry about that baby,” he says against my lips. “I just couldn’t wait a second longer to see you.”

I sigh and wrap my arms around his neck as his lips skim down my neck. “Hmm… I missed you too,” I say my knees growing weak.

He pulls back slightly to look into my eyes. “You missed me, really,” he asks in surprise.

I nod, biting my lip. “I’ve had time to think about what you said,” I explain, “I’m ready to accept the love I
know
I deserve instead of the love I think I deserve. You make me believe in love again.”

He smiles widely, “I do?”

Smiling back, I nod, “You do,” I say and I feel his hands slide across my ass. If I were wearing panties, they would be soaking wet. “Maybe we should skip dinner and stay home.”

He laughs, shaking his head. “It’s good to see that you follow directions,” he says. “Let’s go before I change my mind and fuck your pretty little brains out.”

He steps back and extends his hand. Taking it I gasp, “Oh my.”

Secrets Are Revealed

T
aking her hand in mine, I pull her close. We have to get out of here before I ruin everything and take her now. Thank god I remembered condoms this time.

Wrapping am arm around her waist, I lead her out and down the hall to the living room where I suspect Jareth and Shannon are still arguing. He must be blind if he can’t see that the secret she’s hiding is that she’s expecting. Even I can see this.

Leaning in next to Alicia’s ear I whisper, “You look beautiful.” She blushes and I place a kiss on her cheek.

We can hear them before we can see them. “Damn it Shannon,” Jareth hisses. “I’m not fucking stupid. I know there’s something you’re not telling me. Although, after only one night, where we didn’t even exchange names, I’m not sure how it involves me. It can’t be that bad, just fucking tell me already.”

“Asshole,” Shannon says and goes to slap him.

Jareth is faster and grabs her hand in mid-swing. “Enough with the fucking names and just tell me,” he demands.

Alicia and I come to a stop and wait. Shannon is red faced and crying. She yanks her hand back and looks at the floor. “The condom didn’t work,” she whispers.

Jareth goes white. “What?” he asks in a mixture of shock and confusion.

Shannon looks up. “The condom didn’t work,” she repeats. “I’m pregnant Jareth.”

Jareth pales even more and I see his Adams apple bob. “Are,” he starts shaking his head, “are you sure it’s mine?”

That was harsh and apparently the wrong thing to say. This time Shannon’s hand connects across Jareth’s face.

“You really are a fucking asshole,” she says and storms out of the apartment.

Jareth touches his face and looks at me. “What did I do,” he asks.

I shake my head and look at Alicia. “Call and make sure Shannon’s ok,” I tell her. “I’ll have a word with Jareth.” She nods and walks back to her bedroom.

Turning back to Jareth I say, “She’s right, you are an asshole.
Are you sure it’s mine?
Come on. Clearly it’s yours or she wouldn’t have had a hard time telling you. She would have just fucked you until she was tired of you or until she started to show.”

He flops down on the couch and buries his face in his hands. “I didn’t ask for this,” he says. “I never wanted kids.”

I move closer. “Well you better get ready,” I say, “You don’t have much of a choice now.”

He looks up at me with fear in his eyes. “You know what my childhood was like,” he says. “I didn’t want kids because I was afraid of becoming my father.”

“I don’t see that happening,” I say. He furrows his brows, so I explain. “The difference between you and your father is he didn’t give a shit that he hurt you or your mom. I think that’s why she left. You, on the other hand, will love this child and hopefully its mother. You know what he did was wrong, and because of that, you will be a better father than he ever dreamed of being. In spite of his best or worst efforts, you are a better man.”

He sighs. “Should I find her and apologize?” he asks.

“You need to do more than apologize,” Alicia says as she enters the room. You can see by her eyes that she’s pissed. “I said more to you than I should have last night and this is how you repay me? I stupidly trusted that you would do the right thing. Shannon won’t admit it but she is crazy about you, even after just that one night. Now go and make it right, no matter what you have to do.”

Jareth flinches. If the situation wasn’t so serious, I would laugh. Seeing a bad boy Chicago cop scared of a woman is priceless.

She goes to walk to my side and stops. Turning back she says, “And by the way, it is yours. Shannon doesn’t sleep around no matter how she makes it look or sound. You were the first in a long time. She doesn’t give it up easily.”

“Fuck,” he says and stands. “Where did she go?”

Alicia crosses her arms and glares at him. “Are you going to make it right or worse?” she asks.

“Look,” he says running a hand through his hair. “I felt something for her that night too. I left because it scared the shit out of me. I don’t know if I can offer her what she needs most as I don’t do relationships. Hell, I haven’t the slightest idea where to start, but I will say this, I will do what it takes to make it right. I will be there for her and the baby. Just tell me where she went, please.”

Alicia stands there watching him. She nods. She must see that he means what he says and walks over to a side table.

As she’s writing she says, “I don’t know what’s in her past. I just know it was bad, but when she is feeling sad or hurt, she visits her mom’s grave.” She turns back and hands him a piece of paper. “This is where you will find her. I know she can be stubborn and hard headed, just don’t give up on her. She needs someone other than me in her life to love her.”

Jareth takes the paper. He looks at it as he slowly nods. “I won’t give up Alicia,” he says and slowly looks up at her. “Thank you.”

She nods. “You can thank me by making it right,” she says. “Now go.” He nods and walks out the door.

“Well, that was interesting,” I say.

Alicia turns to look at me. “You can say that again,” she says rubbing her forehead.

I reach out and pull her to me. Her arms go around my neck as she lays her head on my chest. “Promise me that if there is anything you ever need to tell me you will,” I ask, “no matter what it is.”

She lifts her head and smiles. “No need to worry about that,” she says. “I have no secrets, but I’ll promise anyway.”

My gut tightens as I think about the secret I’m keeping from her. I kiss her forehead and try to push the uneasiness away. “Are you ready to go?” I ask. “We’re already running a little late.”

“Yes,” she says, “Sorry about all that.”

I take her hand and lead her towards the door. “What do you have to be sorry for?” I ask as I place her warp around her shoulders. “None of that was your fault. They’re adults and need to sort this out. It going down right in front of us wasn’t planned by anyone.”

“I know that,” she says gesturing for me to step through the door so she can lock it. “It’s just, I love Shannon like a sister and I’m scared for her.”

I take her hand and place it in the crock of my arm. Smiling down at her I say, “You wouldn’t be a good friend if you weren’t.”

She smiles. “Thank you, Gage,” she says tightening her hold on my arm.

I shrug. “No need to thank me princess when it’s true.”

I’m still looking at her when we step outside the apartment building and I hear her gasp.

“Seriously, Gage?” she says.

I look from her to where she’s looking. “What?” I ask.

She laughs and looks at me. “Are you sure it’s love and not an obsession?” she asks.

I shrug and shove my hands in my pockets. She’s looks back at my car. It’s a 1970 Dodge Challenger, black. Nothing fancy, but that’s not what has her attention. On the center of the hood is the same design I have on my bike.

“Maybe a little of both,” I admit and lean in close to her ear, “but most defiantly love, Alicia. Don’t ever doubt that.” I step behind her, pulling her back against my body, pushing my rock hard cock into her back. “Can’t you feel what you do to me?”

She leans her head back and presses back into me, her body shaking from her pent up desire. “Oh god, Gage,” she whispers.

Shut Up and Love Me

H
alfway to the restaurant I turn to Gage and ask, “Why did you want me not to wear underwear?”

He smirks, swings the car off the road, and into an underground parking garage. Parking and shutting the engine off, he turns towards me.

“We got held up with Shannon and Jareth,” he says, the smirk still on his face. “I had things planned perfectly, so we’re really not late to dinner like I said.”

I fidget with my fingers. “Ok,” I say. “That still didn’t answer my question.”

Before I can react, he pushes his seat back all the way, and I’m in his lap. His hands caressing my ass as he slides my dress up.

“Does this answer your question, princess?” he asks as he nips and licks my ear lobe.

I grind against him. “Don’t tease me, Gage,” I moan.

“I’m not baby,” he says reaching between us and pulls his zipper down. “I have to be inside you now. Is that ok?”

Is he seriously asking for permission,
I question silently. “Gage, just shut up and love me,” I breathe.

He groans. “With pleasure, Alicia,” he says and thrusts into me.

I begin to rock my hips. He feels so fucking good. I never knew that skin to skin contact would feel this wonderful. I freeze as its then that I realize what we have done.

“Alicia, baby, what’s wrong?” Gage asks turning me to face him.

I fake a smile and lean in to kiss him. He opens, allowing me access, but he’s hesitant. I pull back and begin to grind against him again. I can’t tell him, not this. I really fucked up this time. I forgot that I’m not using birth control. “Nothing,” I finally answer, my voice cracking and he doesn’t look convinced. “It’s just the feel of you in me is sometimes too good to be real.”

He studies my face for a second longer before he reveals his cocky smile. “I agree,” he says. “Your beautiful pussy seems too good to be true. I forget myself when I’m with you.” His brows furrow. “You have my insides all twisted and my mind in a fog. What are you doing to me Alicia?”

I smile and nip his bottom lip. “I could ask the same about you,” I respond. “You have me so mixed up.” I suck his lip into my mouth, forgetting my major fuck up and he groans. “Now, are we going to talk, or are you going to fuck me?”

He chuckles and takes a handful of my hair pulling my head back to run his lips across my neck. “You have to ask?” he says as he thrusts into me again.

I grip his shoulders, pulling at his jacket. My insides have gone to pure liquid heat as I move with him. “Gage,” I moan.

“What is it baby?”  He asks sucking the skin of my neck between his teeth.

“Your shirt,” I pant. “I have to feel you.”

“Ok baby,” he says as he reaches between us, unbuttons his shirt, and places my hands on his chest. “Better,” he asks, stealing my lips in a kiss hotter than hell.

I can’t answer, all I can do is ride out the storm he’s creating inside me. His hands go to my hips and his fingers dig into my skin.

“Gage,” I moan breaking the kiss.

“I’m so fucking close, Alicia,” he says. “I can feel your pussy gripping me. Please tell me you’re close.”

I groan throwing my head back as my orgasm rips through me. Brilliant colors flash before my eyes and I hear Gage let loose, his cock pulsing inside of me, spilling his seed.

“God, I love you so fucking much, Alicia,” Gage says gasping for air.

I can’t speak. I’m too stunned by what we have shared, my realization, and his words. So I drop my head down to rest on his shoulder and try to catch my breath.

Gage wraps his arms around me, pulling me closer. “I’m sorry baby,” he says. His breathing still labored. “You may not be ready to hear it, but I had to say it. You make me feel so many different emotions, I don’t even think love fully expresses it, but that’s all I have.”

We sit like this for what feels like hours, yet it is only minutes. “Well Detective Hinder,” I chuckle as I sit up. “That’s twice now that you’ve broken the law. What ever should we do with you?”

His look is serious as he strokes my face, pushing stray hair behind my ears. “I would do anything for you,” he says. “Break every law to keep you safe and to keep you mine.”

I chuckle and kiss his nose. “Something tells me you would,” I say and his cell rings.

I go to move off him, but he stops me. “Don’t you dare move,” he says. “We need to talk.” I nod, wondering what he wants to discuss while his cock is still buried inside of me.

Pulling his cell out of his jacket pocket he answers, “Hinder.” Then he begins to stroke up and down my thigh.

As I watch him listening to the person on the other side, I see his face fall. “You’re shitting me? Fuck! Ok, I’ll be there in a bit.” Then he hangs up.

I run my fingers through his hair. “Bad news,” I ask.

Tossing his cell on the dash, he returns his hands to my thighs and sighs. “It would seem my trip has been moved up,” he says. “I have to take a rain check on the date.”

“Oh,” is all I can say. Again, I try to move off his lap.

His palm comes down hard on my ass cheek. I jump and sit up straight, looking at him.

“I told you to stay,” he says. “We need to talk more now than ever.”

I nod, running my hand over the ink on his chest. “Ok,” I say. “What do we need to talk about?”

He lifts both of us and pulls something out of his back pocket. “This,” he say handing it to me. My eyes go large when I see the unused condom in my hand and I look up at him. He’s smiling. “This is what you realized a few moments ago, wasn’t it?” I swallow and nod, “Ya, me too, this morning when I woke. That’s why I brought some tonight, but like I told you, when I’m near you, all thoughts leave me.”

I nervously chuckle. “Me too,” I say.

“I’ll assume by your earlier reaction that you’re not on the pill?” he asks.

“No, I’m not,” I admit, my bottom lip trembling and my voice catching. “I’m sorry.”

He strokes my face, concern on his face. “There’s nothing to be sorry about,” he says. “Don’t you want kids?”

I shrug. “I’ve never really thought about it,” I lie. I’ve always want children, but it’s too soon for us. I see his face fall and he looks away. I then realize that he wants them as badly as I do. I turn his face back to mine. “Hey, I didn’t say I didn’t want them. I just never thought it would be a possibility for me. Also, it’s too soon for us, and I’m scared.”

“I wish we had more time to talk about this,” he says sadly. “Just know this, I will not leave you. I am in this all the way, ok? You belong to me and only me. You’re it for me.”

I smile, feeling a little more secure. “And you’re mine?” I ask suddenly feeling shy.

He kisses my head. “Always baby,” he says, “Always and forever.”

“Good, now can I move?” I ask laughing, “My legs are cramped.”

He quickly picks me up and places me in the passenger seat. “I’m so sorry Alicia,” he says, a worried expression on his face as he tries massaging my legs.

I chuckle as I straighten my dress. “It’s ok Gage,” I say. “I’m fine. No need to get so worked up.”

He looks at me with that sexy as hell crocked smile. “Not a chance baby,” he says. “I’ll always worry about you. Now let’s get you home.”

I nod and after he straightens his clothes, we’re on the road again.

***

Standing at my apartment door, I turn to look at him. “Do you want to come in before you have to leave?” I ask. I just don’t want the night to end yet.

He pinches my chin between his thumb and finger and lifts my face to look at him. “Wish I could baby,” he says searching my eyes. “You don’t know how badly I want to feel you next to me while we sleep, but if I come in, I will never leave.”

I understand, because I feel the same way. “Is… is the job they’re sending you on dangerous,” I ask, my voice breaking. I can’t stand the thought of something happening to him.

He closes his eyes, sighs, and then opens them again. “This is what I always tried to avoid,” he says. “The endless worrying my other half would go through. Yes Alicia, anything I do can be dangerous. Can you live with that?”

My brows furrow.
Can I live with that?
I ask myself,
Can I live with never know whether or not he’s coming home?
I ponder this for only a second when the answer comes to me.

“For you Gage,” I say, “I can live with anything. Just promise you’ll be careful, ok?”

His face lights up as his smile grows wider. “I will always promise to do my best to come home to you,” he says. “You do know that you’re my home now, right?”

I nod, feeling too choked up to speak. “I…” I try to speak, “I feel the same way.”

He takes my keys from me. Reaching around me, he unlocks the door and opens it. Backing me inside, he places kisses over my face.

“I love you Alicia,” he says pulling back to look at me. “I’ll call and text every chance I get, ok?”

I nod. “I’ll miss you,” I admit.

“I’ll miss you too,” he says and slaps my ass. “Get inside and lock the door before I leave.”

Nodding again, he steps back so I can close the door, but not before he lands one last kiss on my lips.

With the door closed and locked, I lean back, closing my eyes. “Gage, you are going to be the death of me,” I say aloud.

“He has that effect on people,” I hear a man say from across the room.

My eyes fly open in terror to find the voice belongs to Rick, Gage’s brother.

“Rick, what are you doing in my apartment,” I ask, wishing Gage was still here.

He slowly walks towards me. “No, the question is,” he says, stopping in front of me, “is what are you doing with my brother?”

I swallow hard, this can’t be good.