Shattered Destiny (33 page)

“My people are taught that God makes us all for a purpose and that we are all special, unique, and worthy of life. You say your people value strength. I say that strength can come in many forms.

“Gwen has shown tremendous fortitude. She has fought with bravery, embraced your ways, and has endured your obvious distaste.” Robert laid his hand on Feeror's shoulder. “Gwen deserves better than to be treated like something inferior. She is a special woman.”

“I worry about what my comrades will think.” Feeror looked at Robert like a man drowning in his own emotions.

Robert sighed. “Only you can decide if having a future with Gwen is worth the respect of your fellow Volgons. I think that most of the group would be happy for the two of you to make a future together.”

Feeror nodded, his face showing signs of hope. “What you say is true. But where will we live? It won't be easy for her to live on my world.”

“The Volgons seemed to tolerate her while we were there. And you can always live here, on her world,” Robert whispered. “Finding a person to share your life with is no small thing, Feeror. Do not let her get away.”

*   *   *

It took quite some time spent stumbling about in the dark before
a kind goodwife finally pointed her in the direction Feeror had gone. The woman gave her a knowing wink before going back inside her house. Gwen found herself blushing as she said her thanks.

“Beautiful night for a walk,” Robert said.

Gwen sighed. “Is it also a beautiful night for fool's errands?”

Robert knelt down and took the tiny girl by the shoulders. “Love is never a fool's errand, child.” He gave her a comforting squeeze.

Gwen grinned ruefully. “Is it that obvious?”

“To everyone in the group.” Robert winked at the girl and bade her goodnight.

Gwen found Feeror sitting on a log, idly picking apart a piece of bark and tossing bits of it in front of him. Her heart fluttered as she watched him for a moment, drinking in the sight of him. Gwen's heart ached when she imagined the worst possible scenario: Feeror was unable to overcome his feelings about her physical deformity, and she died alone and miserable. Tears stung her eyes, and she brushed them away, tired of how easily they fell when she was forced to deal with the big oaf. Gwen shook her head, steeled her resolve, and marched toward him. He did not look up as she approached.

“Why do you insist on running away from me every time you are about to say something important?” Gwen folded her arms across her chest, her voice shaking with tense emotion.

Feeror pulled at the bark more furiously. “This body, this mind…it is confusing. It is giving me signals, and I don't know what they mean.”

Gwen looked at the man like he was crazy. “What signals? What are you talking about?”

“On my world, things are simpler. If a man wants to take a mate, he picks out the female, gives her a gift, and she either gives him a gift in return if she wishes to become his mate, or gives nothing, indicating her displeasure with the thought of mating with him.”

Gwen was thankful the dark hid her flushed cheeks.

“Moylir tells me that you desire me. And yet you have not given a gift in return.” Feeror's muscles bunched under his tunic.

Gwen's heart filled with love to see this great big man, so unsure of himself, and yet finally opening up to her. She hesitated before
answering, not wanting to say the wrong thing. “It is a little different here. The giving of gifts does not constitute a desire to mate, although people who like each other will often give trinkets or flowers…” She trailed off at his look of utter confusion.

“When two people decide they like each other, they spend time courting, and then the man asks the girl's father for permission to marry his daughter. Then a Mystic performs the marriage ceremony….” She rubbed her eyes as Feeror looked more confused than ever. “It's more complicated on this world.”

Feeror rolled his eyes and threw the bare piece of wood as far as he could. “
That
much I figured out.”

Gwen still stood facing him. She took a deep breath and forced herself to ask the question that burned inside her, even if it meant he did not tell her what she wanted to hear. “Feeror, when you speak of gifts and mating,” she stammered and tried to keep her voice steady. “Well, are you saying you want to be, well…
mated
to me?” Gwen tried to force her heart to slow, but to no avail.

The big Volgon wrung his hands. “Yes. Although I do not know how things work on your world, I think we should be mated. I am strong and can give you fine sons, can teach them to fight and build things. Your power will make our children even stronger.”

“Oh. I see.”

“Have I said something wrong?”

“Is there nothing else you like about me other than my power?” Gwen felt worse now than she had that day when she'd realized that Jon would never love her. Tears burned her eyes and a lump was building in her throat.

“What else is there? Don't your kind pick mates based on desirable traits?” The man looked truly confused.

“Desirable traits? Desirable….” The sob escaped before she could stop it. The knife twisted in her heart, and her stomach fell to her feet.

Before she could turn and go, Feeror grabbed her tiny hands and enveloped them in his. “This body is making me want to do the strangest things. I do not understand what is happening to me. Is it like this all the time for your kind?”

“Like what?” Gwen hardly dared to breathe. His touch was like
an electric shock bolting through her whole body.

“This desire to touch. And there are other things too, but I do not know their meaning, I only know the words. What does it mean to kiss?”

Gwen couldn't help herself. She burst out laughing. “How can you know what kissing is and not know what it
is
?”

Feeror frowned. “Your friend did that magic thing that made us able to understand the language. But this kissing is something we don't do, so I have nothing to compare it to. Any more than you understood the concept of computers and plasma rifles.”

Gwen nodded. She did remember that confusion. It was strange to have a word in her head and to know how to properly use it and yet have no clue as to the word's meaning.

“Since that day in the cave when you nearly killed me, I have been able to do nothing but think about you. It is most distracting.”

“But you're only thinking of my strength and how that will benefit our children,” Gwen said sarcastically.

“Well, yes. But this body and mind lead me to believe that there is something more. It is so difficult to make sense of the things that this body wants to do.”

Gwen swallowed audibly. Her heart filled with hope. She was reluctant to open herself to the possibility that this man sitting in front of her might actually want her in the way that men desired women. “Do you want me to show you what a kiss is?” She did not know where this boldness came from but she was determined to follow it through.

Feeror met her eyes, and Gwen quivered at the intense longing she saw in them. She reached out and touched his face, shuddering slightly when his hands drew her closer. The man might not know what a kiss was or what signals his body was sending, but he was responding with instinct, an instinct that his Astran brain possessed.

Gwen lost herself in those dark eyes. Their lips met, and time stood still. Feeror wrapped his arms around her tiny form and did not flinch as he ran his hands up and down her crooked back. Gwen stopped breathing for a moment, fighting the urge to pull away from his touch. But his eager mouth made her forget all about her fear and her discomfort about being touched.

When they pulled apart to draw breath, Feeror grinned from ear to ear. “Was that a kiss?”

Gwen giggled. “Yes, Feeror, that was a kiss.”

She continued to laugh when he pulled her close, crushing her against his massive chest. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, burying her face in his hair, drinking in the smell of him.
Dear Spirits, is this really happening to me?

“Does this mean you want to be my mate?”

Gwen laughed as tears fell down her face. “I would be honored to be your mate.” She grunted as his arms got tighter, cutting off her air supply.

“What is required of us on your world?”

Gwen pulled back so she could see his face. To her, it was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. “We will need to visit my parents. And after that, we will need to find a Mystic to perform the ceremony.”

Gwen wished Master Brok was alive so that he could perform the marriage rites. He would have been delighted for her. He had understood her loneliness and longings almost as much as Keera.

“Will we stay here or will we return to your world?” Gwen was hoping he would want to stay here, but she was willing to live with him on Volgon. They would need help to rebuild, and her power would be useful to them.

“I am willing to stay with you, my little one.” His mouth spoke the words, but his eyes betrayed him.

“We don't have to make a decision now. And with the portal, we can spend time on both worlds,” Gwen said.

That seemed to please him, and he pulled her in close again.

*   *   *

“I told you they were fine.”

Keera had her hands over her mouth. She longed to look away, and yet she couldn't stop staring at her friend kissing Feeror under the large oak tree. She turned to Sloan. “How did you guess?”

“This has been building for quite some time. Have you not seen it?”

“Of course I've seen it!” She whispered fiercely. “I just never thought they would ever do anything.”

“It is often like this before a battle. People feel their own mortality, and they wish to solidify relationships, knowing there is the possibility of being killed.” Sloan was happy for the pair. He did not know Gwen well, but he could guess that her life hadn't been easy.

“Let's leave before they see us.” Keera began tugging Sloan toward the small lake behind the inn. The twin moons were out, making for a perfect night to take a stroll.

“We aren't going back inside?” Sloan asked, pretending wide-eyed innocence.

“Mortality, remember?” Keera smiled mischievously.

Sloan shook his head and allowed himself to be led to the water's edge. The evening air was balmy, and the light from the moons lit the way.

“What are those?”

Keera looked in the direction he was pointing. “Those are fire bugs. Do you not have those on Earth?”

Sloan shook his head, unable to take his eyes from the dancing lights. He reached out his hand, laughing when one landed on his outstretched finger. The fire bug flexed its wings, its abdomen flashing.

Keera smiled and watched the man play with the fire bugs. It brought her back to the first time she had seen them as a child. She had squealed and frightened them away. Her mother had patiently explained that they were tiny bugs, and were afraid of loud noises. It took a few tries, but she was able to contain her excitement long enough to hold one in her hand. Keera imagined she had looked a lot like Sloan did now.

When the fire bug flew off, Sloan grabbed her hand, and they continued their walk. It was peaceful and quiet.

“It's hard to imagine that at this very minute. the Mekans are attacking. Shouldn't we feel it or something?”

Sloan snorted. “Eager to face them?

“Of course I'm not
eager
to face them.” She rolled her eyes.

Sloan laughed at the familiar expression. He hoped the two of them came out of this alive. He imagined she was someone he could settle down with.
Was that something she even wanted?
Taking a cue from his own speech, he broached the subject. “What do you want when this is all said and done, Keera?”

Keera stopped walking, sensing the seriousness of the question. “I hadn't let myself think that far ahead. With the deaths of the other Chosen, it seems impossible that any of us will live through this.”

“I'm asking you to think about it.” Sloan had never thought he could feel love the way normal people did. His upbringing with the Horde had clouded his judgment, had poisoned him and changed the way he thought of women and how they were to be treated.

Life among the Jhinn had changed his perspective somewhat. He hadn't touched a woman the entire time he had been in the encampment. Plenty had tried to get his attention, but he simply hadn't felt aroused by them.

It wasn't until Valery and Amber had come back to camp that he'd felt the stirrings of desire again. They had been his constant companions while he'd lived with the Horde. It had been all too easy to fall back into the cycle. Both women had needed to be hurt before they could enjoy being with a man, and Sloan had been all too happy to give them what they wanted.

But even as he had beat the two women, a little voice deep inside his head had screamed at him that this wasn't right, that he shouldn't be doing this. He had ignored it and lost himself in the pleasure and the pain.

When the truth of what had happened to his parents had come out, along with the part he and the others would have to play in saving the galaxy, his passion for the women had slowly been replaced with anger and regret.

And that had soon been replaced with a numbness that consumed his soul. He'd shrouded himself in it so that he would feel nothing. In his mind, it had seemed better to feel no pleasure if it meant he would no longer feel any pain. He'd built the walls and thickened them until it would've taken a force of nature itself to break them down.

Sloan smiled.
A force of nature.
He stared at the force responsible for tearing down his walls: her graceful neck, her fiery curls, one locked tight between her teeth. He loved her temper, and he loved her spirit. Where Valery had used hers for evil, Keera used hers to fight on the side of good.

“I don't expect an answer this night. But I hope you will want to spend the rest of your life with me. I don't even care which world we live on. As long as I can be with you.” Sloan gently brushed his fingers across Keera's cheek.

She barked a laugh. “Of course I plan on spending my life with you! Where else would I spend it?”