Shattered: (58 page)
Authors: Janet Nissenson
“Good. I’d love nothing better than an excuse to buy you a whole new wardrobe. Though I’m not looking forward to some of these social events we agreed to attend,” he grumbled.
She caressed his heavily stubbled cheek tenderly. “I know,” she acknowledged with a smile. “And I love you for making the effort. Both of us have been alone too much in our lives, and it’s way past time for that to change.”
He gave a gruff nod before rolling onto his side and pulling her close against him. “Hush now, okay? It’s still dark outside, it’s a Saturday morning, and we could both use some extra sleep.”
“Okay.”
She nestled her head willingly beneath his chin and sighed in contentment. Nick fell back asleep within two minutes but it took her a bit longer, and she spent the time gazing at him in wonder.
It was still hard to believe sometimes how far they’d come in their relationship in just a few months. A relationship that was a world apart from what they’d had the last time. This time, it was far more of an equal partnership, a give and take, even though Nick still struggled with his need for ultimate control a little too often. But he was trying, really trying, to be the sort of man he wanted to be for her, and if things weren’t always perfect – well, this wasn’t some sort of fairy tale, after all, but real life.
A life that was good, really, really good, she realized with a smile. A life that made her happier than she’d ever been, and where she couldn’t imagine ever needing or wanting anything more than what she had right now.
After her accident and subsequent surgery this past summer, Nick had insisted she stay with him during her recuperation. He’d gone ahead and hired a nurse to look after her while he was at work, even though she’d protested she could take care of herself. Shockingly, her mother had actually offered to remain in San Francisco for a few days and look after her, but Angela had gently refused, sensing that this was a crucial time in the development of her relationship with Nick and feeling the need to be with him as much as possible. That hadn’t, however, stopped the daily phone calls from her father, anxious to know how she was feeling and warning her not to overdo. Most of the time her mother had come on the phone as well, and Rita had even made an effort to sound concerned about her. Her sisters had sent flowers and a fruit basket, and had each called a couple of times to check on her. Angela hadn’t been able to say for sure, but she’d strongly suspected her father’s influence had been behind all of that.
Her eyes grew a little misty now as she recalled the rather heart wrenching conversation she’d had with Gino in her hospital room. She’d never seen her dad cry before, but that day he had wept almost inconsolably onto her pillow as she had assured him everything was going to be okay now. Gino had told her over and over how sorry he was for everything she’d gone through over the years, that he should have been a better father and stood up to Rita far more often, while Angela had told him it didn’t matter any longer and that she’d always known he loved her.
“After all,” she’d murmured, “if it wasn’t for you sticking up for me all those years ago, I wouldn’t even be here today. You loved me before I was even born, Dad, and I’ll always remember that. And you and I are going to make a pact with each other right now that things will be different from here on. Whether Mom and my sisters are on board with that, I don’t really care.”
And while things were far from perfect with her mother and sisters, Angela admitted that the situation was slowly beginning to improve. She didn’t know whether to credit the tongue-lashing that Lauren had given Deanna and Rita that day at the hospital (which both Nick and Julia had recounted to her afterwards), or the fact that Gino was now asserting himself for once, or whether it was because everyone in her family was all goo-goo eyed over Nick. He’d accompanied her on two visits to Carmel thus far, and both times everyone – parents, siblings, brothers-in-law, nephews, nieces - had more or less tripped over themselves in order to talk to him. Nick had taken it all in stride, even though Angela could tell how much he disliked all of the socializing, and he’d managed to win everybody over within the first hour of their arrival.
He was trying, she told herself with a smile,
really
trying to make things work. The first step he’d made in that direction had been to ask her to move in with him, to not automatically go back to her flat once she’d fully recovered. She’d been shocked speechless, never having imagined that they could make quite so much progress in their relationship that fast, but had quickly accepted. Her lease had been up anyway in October, so the timing of her move had been ideal.
really
trying to make things work. The first step he’d made in that direction had been to ask her to move in with him, to not automatically go back to her flat once she’d fully recovered. She’d been shocked speechless, never having imagined that they could make quite so much progress in their relationship that fast, but had quickly accepted. Her lease had been up anyway in October, so the timing of her move had been ideal.
Nick had admitted that asking her to move in hadn’t been an easy choice for him, and that he was probably going to piss her off at least twenty times a day while he adjusted to having someone live with him after so many years of going solo. But both of them had been pleasantly surprised at just how easily Angela had fit into his life, at how well they got along and how Nick hadn’t felt the least bit threatened that his privacy was being encroached upon. They had fallen into a routine with astonishing speed, and Nick told her frequently how much he loved having her here, how empty his life had been before she moved in.
And then, barely a month ago, he’d given her another shock by proposing that they go into partnership together at work.
“You know I’ve been looking to bring another member into my team,” he’d told her. “And I can’t think of anyone else in the office – hell, the entire business – that I’d rather have working with me. You’re smart as hell, work harder than I do most of the time, and with you on board we could take on even more clients. Besides, it would force you to move out of that corner office you’ve buried yourself away in for so long and join the real world.”
They were still finalizing everything at this point, getting paperwork drawn up and hammering out all the details, but as soon as they returned from visiting Nick’s father over Thanksgiving, Angela would be moving into the empty office adjacent to his. Cara, too, would be joining the team and had told her boss more than once what a great opportunity this was for both of them.
“Not many people can make a go out of working and living together,” Cara had cautioned. “But I think after all you’ve been through that you and Nick know what it’s going to take in order to make this work. Just don’t let him think he’s your boss or anything. Stick up for yourself when he starts getting too pushy, okay?”
Angela had laughed at the irony of her young assistant’s advice. “You’re a fine one to be telling me that. Especially since all he has to do is give you one of those famous smiles and you melt like a stick of butter at his feet.”
Cara had sighed. “I know. I told you I’ve got a problem with hot guys. I’ve really got to work on that one of these days.”
Life, thought Angela sleepily, couldn’t get much better right now. She was moved in, bag and baggage, with her dream man; was about to go into a very lucrative partnership with the very same man at work; was closer to her father than ever before and gradually beginning to mend fences with the rest of her family. She was healthy and fit, eating normally, and while she was still running had cut back on the extreme ultrarunning for the time being. She was too busy, after all, between work and Nick to put in those sort of miles right now. And she no longer needed to run for hours at a time to forget or block things out, because those years when she’d lived half a life were long gone now.
She wasn’t naïve enough to believe that everything was going to be all sunshine and roses from here on end. Nick was still a stubborn bastard more often than not, and it was going to take some time to loosen up someone who’d been set in his ways for such a long time. But he’d been doing a lot more than compromising these past few months – inviting her to share his home; making an effort to meet her family and friends; going public with their relationship. They were flying back to Boston soon to spend Thanksgiving with his father and current stepmother, though Nick had warned her it wasn’t going to be a particularly enjoyable holiday.
“My father’s an ass and he and I butt heads constantly,” he’d cautioned. “And his current wife is a doormat, almost thirty years younger than he is, and probably only with him for the money and prestige that comes with being married to a federal judge. But thank Christ that Thanksgiving only rolls around once a year.
And
that my father keeps a very well stocked liquor cabinet. We’ll all need it before the long weekend is over.”
And
that my father keeps a very well stocked liquor cabinet. We’ll all need it before the long weekend is over.”
They had agreed to attend the office Christmas party for once, having acknowledged that they both needed to work on their social skills. Added to that was Dante’s annual holiday bash, a party being hosted by one of Nick’s former NFL teammates, and Julia and Nathan’s combination New Year’s Eve/housewarming party being held at their brand new, nearly completed home in Tiburon.
Christmas would be spent at her parents’ house, and they had already made their plans to fly out to Tahiti and spend a week with Sheena right after New Year’s. Nick called his mother dutifully once a week now, and she usually demanded he put Angela on the phone for a few minutes each time.
But the one thing Nick hadn’t changed his mind on, and wasn’t willing to compromise on, was the subject of marriage. He’d been upfront and honest with her from the very first about that, but she could truly, sincerely, accept the fact that it didn’t bother her in the least.
“Look,” he’d told her within the first week of her moving in with him, “I’ve never bullshitted you before and I’m not going to start now. I love you, Angel, and I will do everything in my power to make sure you know that. I want you with me always, can’t imagine a life without you in it. But this marriage thing – that’s not me and I’m not sure it ever will be. I promise I’ll always take care of you, will damned sure always be faithful to you, and I’ll work real hard on not being too much of an asshole. But marriage – I’m just not sure that will ever be for me.”
“It’s okay,” she’d assured him with a kiss. “I don’t need that from you, Nick. I don’t need the rings or the priest or the piece of paper that the law says binds us together. And I really, really don’t need the white gown or eight bridesmaids or the reception with rubbery chicken and barely palatable wine. All I need,” she’d added, wrapping her arms around him tightly, “is you.”
He had hugged her fiercely, burying his face in her hair. “Well, that, Angel, you’ve definitely got. For life, baby. That’s the honest truth, and I’ll even write it down for you if you want.”
She’d shaken her head. “No. Because it’s already written on my heart.”
She must have fallen asleep after that, because the next thing she knew Nick was waking her persuasively, kissing his way down her body until her eyes fluttered open with a groan. She gasped as he nuzzled his face between her thighs, his tongue rimming the opening to her body that was suddenly wet with need.
He wrung two stunning orgasms from her, making sure she was fully prepared for him, expertly using his tongue, lips, and fingers to arouse her and allow her to open completely. But when it finally came, his first thrust inside of her pliant body wasn’t the savage, almost brutal possession she’d grown accustomed to, grown to crave. Instead, he slid in almost gently, a little at a time, and then just rocked his hips back and forth carefully a few times before holding himself still.
“Something wrong?” she asked breathlessly, unable to look away from the dark eyes that held hers captive.
He shook his head, a slow grin materializing. “Not a damned thing, no. It’s pouring rain outside, while I’m tucked up all safe and warm inside my bed. Not to mention,” he purred, bending down to nuzzle her neck, “inside of you. So I would say that everything is just about perfect right now.”
She ran her hands up over his bare, broad chest until her arms were closely entwined around his neck. “Mmm, except that I couldn’t possibly be burning up that many calories just being still this way. And you did assure me that I wouldn’t regret skipping that race earlier.”
Nick grinned, his hands sliding beneath her buttocks as he got to his knees, still deeply imbedded inside her body. “And I am a man of my word, Angel. So if it’s a workout you’re after, you’re definitely in the right place.”
She thought wildly that Nick’s idea of physical activity was a hell of a lot more fun than slopping through muddy trails and skirting tree roots with the rain pounding down on her the whole time. And that the way he was twisting and contorting her body, pulling her on top of him one minute, and then flipping her over onto her belly the next, must surely be burning up a thousand calories at least. And when it was over, when he’d made her come more times than she could keep track of and he’d collapsed on top of her in a heavy, sweaty heap, her heart was pounding so fast that she felt like she’d just run a marathon at world record pace.
Nick’s hand caressed her bare back soothingly as their breathing gradually returned to normal. “Still regretting sleeping in and missing that race, Angel?” he murmured to her teasingly.
“Hmm, maybe just a little,” she teased back. “But then, I tend to forget sometimes that I’m sleeping with the devil and that he constantly tempts me to do naughty things.”
He laughed, capturing one of her hands and interlacing their fingers together. “While having my angel back in my life is saving my soul.”
She grinned at him. “So while you’re corrupting me I’m saving you? I guess as long as there’s a happy medium that will balance itself out in the long run.”
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