Shattered: (23 page)
Authors: Janet Nissenson
“I doubt that,” replied Nick somberly. “I think you have a great capacity for love and compassion, Angel. I think you’d be the complete opposite of the cold hearted bitch your mother was to you.”
“Maybe. But it’s not something I even want to consider for a long time yet. Unlike my mother, I haven’t let anything stand in the way of realizing my dreams. I went to college, played on an Olympic team, got a job in my chosen field.”
“Are they proud of you?”
“I doubt it. Oh, my dad probably is, but he keeps everything bottled up inside, isn’t very good at expressing himself. But none of them ever gushed when I got into Stanford, or called to congratulate me when the team won the gold medal.”
He frowned. “Called you? Weren’t they there at the Olympics to watch the games in person?”
She shook her head, glancing away so he wouldn’t see the hurt she knew would be so evident in her eyes. “No. I’m not even sure any of them watched it on TV. My parents had already booked a cruise to the Greek Islands, and there’s no way either of my sisters would have made the trip to the games without their husbands and kids in tow. Lauren wanted to go but she got offered this once in a lifetime internship that summer and I forced her to accept it.”
Nick slid a hand into her hair, tilting her face up as he kissed away her tears. “If I’d known you then,” he whispered, “I would have moved heaven and earth to be there, cheering you on, celebrating with you. You would have been far more important than a stupid vacation.”
Angela clung to him then, burying her face against his neck as the tears began to fall unchecked. “I wish I had known you back then, too,” she breathed. “These past two months with you – they’ve been the – well, they’ve been amazing.”
She’d been about to blurt out that her time with him had been the absolute best two months of her life. But she knew that, despite his uncharacteristic kindness and tenderness this evening, that he wouldn’t appreciate hearing such sentimental drivel, and so, as usual, she kept her feelings tightly bottled up.
He rubbed the back of her neck. “Yeah, it’s been a good time, Angel, no complaints here.” He sifted a long, silky strand of her hair between his fingers as he fell silent again for a time. She closed her eyes and tried to quell the turbulent emotions that all this talk had stirred up. She’d never spoken to anyone this way about her family, not even the twins. Lauren and Julia knew that her mother had always been a cold, distant bitch, but she’d never actually confessed the real truth to them – that Rita Del Carlo had been within twenty four hours of aborting her youngest daughter, stopped only by the threat of divorce. It had been too shameful, too hurtful, to admit to anyone, even her best friends. After all, Lauren and Julia had been blessed with two warm, loving parents and they would have been horrified at the very idea that Angela’s own mother had been so eager to get rid of her.
But Angela had sensed that such a revelation wouldn’t bother Nick the same way, and the words had poured out automatically And even though he’d never chosen to confide even one personal fact about himself to her, even though he continued to keep these impenetrable emotional barriers up between them, and that she knew it would only be a matter of time before he left her for good, she also knew he would be the only person in her life that she would ever entrust these secrets to. Perhaps it was simply because she suspected that his own childhood had been as equally screwed up as hers, even if he’d never spoken about it.
He was quiet so long that she had almost begun to fall asleep. When he spoke again, his words seemed stilted and carefully chosen.
“So, I’m curious,” he began. “Everything you told me about your mother – how she didn’t want you, didn’t pay attention to you, how she pawned you off on everyone else. When she
was
with you, was she strict? Did she discipline you, enforce rules?”
was
with you, was she strict? Did she discipline you, enforce rules?”
Angela gave a rather undignified snort. “Hah! You have to actually pay attention to someone in order to do that, and when my mother was forced to look after me herself she never seemed to give a damn what I did. And, naturally, to get her attention I acted out all the time – breaking things, getting dirty, refusing to eat, disappearing for hours at a time when I got older. She never even blinked, never even seemed to notice. After awhile I stopped trying. I mean, where’s the fun in being a brat or breaking rules if nobody even bothers to react?”
Nick nodded. “That’s sort of what I thought. And it explains a great deal.”
She turned her head to gaze up at him, puzzled. “Like what?”
He tumbled her back onto the pillows, rising above her as he drew her arms over her head, shackling her wrists in one hand. “Like why you agreed to obey me, follow my rules,” he murmured. “It was the first time in your life that anyone even tried to do so, wasn’t it? And it’s why you like it so much.”
She thought of denying it, was almost ashamed to admit he was right, but knew she was incapable of lying to him. “Yes,” she whispered. “That’s exactly why.”
Nick ran his tongue along the side of her neck, then bit down sharply on her earlobe. “Lucky me,” he purred.
And then he was securing her wrists to the bedpost with a pair of fleece-lined leather cuffs, and whispering exactly what rules he expected her to obey tonight.
March
“Well, Angela, I have to say you’re certainly doing your best to light the world on fire. I see you opened ten new accounts just last week, and brought in almost twenty million in new assets. Not only are you the star of your training class but you’ve even surpassed other brokers who’ve been in production for two years. You’re more than fulfilling your potential, young lady, you’re sending it to the moon. Keep up the fantastic work now, okay?”
Angela beamed at Lloyd Raskin, the office sales manager and her direct supervisor. “Thanks. I’m just trying to do my best. And while I have been working hard, I have to admit to catching a few breaks, too. Three of those accounts I opened last week were actually unsolicited, apparent referrals though none of them actually came out and told me from who. I, ah, suspect they were sent my way via a fellow Stanford alum that I’ve, um, kept in touch with.”
She conveniently left out the part that the aforementioned alumni was most likely Nick Manning. She’d suspected for several weeks, in fact, that he was quietly sending business her way, though she didn’t dare ask him directly and knew he’d deny it even if she could work up the guts to inquire. They rarely discussed business, and definitely not his own practices or methods, but she’d heard via the office gossip mill that Nick had very strict standards when it came to accepting new clients. Any potential new accounts were required to have a minimum net worth in the multi-millions, and be willing to invest a good portion of those assets. In addition, word had it that Nick demanded total and absolute control over each client’s investment strategy, and unless a client was willing to give him almost complete discretion over their portfolio, then he wouldn’t take the account.
Ever since she’d passed her exam and been granted her brokerage license in December, Angela had not only met all of the goals she’d set for herself up to this point, but had exceeded them well beyond her wildest expectations. She’d already moved to a much larger and better furnished cubicle, and Lloyd had very recently promised that if she continued to exceed her goals he would move her into the next available private office. Angela knew these sorts of perks were almost unheard of for someone as young and inexperienced as she was, but also knew how hard she had worked to earn such rewards – albeit with some unconfirmed help from her uber successful lover.
Lloyd waved a hand in dismissal. “Does it matter where the accounts came from or who may or may not have referred them? There’s no denying how hard you work, Angela. I know you put in far more hours than any of your contemporaries, and it certainly shows. And let’s not forget that getting the client is one thing. Keeping them happy and investing for them responsibly and successfully is all up to you. So if these accounts did come to you as a little bonus from an old friend, that’s no reason for you to look a gift horse in the mouth.”
She nodded, even though in all honesty she wasn’t terribly comfortable with the idea that Nick was very likely acting the part of puppet master with her career, and without either her knowledge or consent.
“You’re right, Lloyd,” she agreed quietly. “And whoever might be referring these clients to me, I’m definitely grateful.
And
extremely committed to taking very good care of their accounts. Especially,” she added with a grin, “since I plan on asking all of them for referrals when the chance arises.”
And
extremely committed to taking very good care of their accounts. Especially,” she added with a grin, “since I plan on asking all of them for referrals when the chance arises.”
Lloyd grinned. “Now that’s the kind of attitude your co-workers need to adopt more often!” He sighed. “Unfortunately, more than half of your training class is already falling well short of their thresholds. But I guess it’s not really fair to compare you to them. I’ve rarely seen someone as young as yourself who has such an intense work ethic.”
She gave her watch a discreet peek – not the horrendously expensive Piaget that Nick had casually presented her with but a much more affordable Anne Klein that she kept for everyday use. She and Nick had agreed months ago that it would be unwise and indiscreet for her to wear any of the pricey designer clothing or jewelry he’d given her to the office. The very last thing she wanted was to have to dream up an explanation to her co-workers about how she could afford an Armani suit or Manolo Blahnik pumps.
“Speaking of which, I’m supposed to be calling a client in about ten minutes and I want to review my notes first. That is – if we’re done here for now?” she inquired politely.
Lloyd nodded. “Yes, of course. I’m just happy there’s at least one of you I don’t have to worry about or keep pushing. Oh, by the way, Angela.”
She paused, one hand on the doorknob of his office. “Yes?”
Lloyd winked at her conspiratorially. “That office I mentioned to you recently – please don’t say a word just yet, but I think you should start preparing for another move within the next week or so.”
Angela couldn’t hold back the answering grin she gave him. “Wow. I never thought it would be this soon. But I’ll try not to get my hopes up just yet. You know, the old ‘I’ll believe it when I see it’ attitude?”
Lloyd chuckled. “I get it. Though in this particular case you should really start believing. Go on now, we’ll talk again next week. And keep batting a thousand there, slugger.”
She resisted the urge to roll her eyes as she walked back to her desk. It was very obvious from all of the San Francisco Giants memorabilia cluttering up Lloyd’s office that he was a diehard baseball fan. As if that wasn’t enough, he frequently talked about the sport to anyone he could get to listen, even those who had no real interest in the game. And he often used baseball metaphors when he was making presentations or giving pep talks. Still, he was a good manager – supportive without being smothering – and Angela knew he was extremely impressed by the success she’d had thus far.
Even without Nick’s covert maneuvers to sweeten the pot for her, Angela was confident she’d still be at the top of her training class just with the accounts she’d brought in on her own. She knew the others from her class were all struggling, some of them barely hanging on to a job at this point, and she felt badly for them. But she also knew that most of them didn’t arrive in to work until almost two hours after she did, took well over an hour for lunch each day while she brown bagged it at her desk, and were usually done for the day before five p.m. while she continued to plug away. This realization helped to assuage some of the guilt she felt about the accounts she knew – just
knew
– that Nick had sent her way.
knew
– that Nick had sent her way.
But Lloyd was quite right, she told herself firmly. Getting the account was one thing – retaining it, keeping the client happy, and making sure their investments paid off – well, that was all up to her now and she would only have herself to blame if things didn’t work out. On the other hand, when the clients were happy and chose to send even more business her way – well, then she’d have only herself to credit. Besides, she consoled herself, it certainly wasn’t as though she’d ever asked Nick to help out. In fact, doing so would have been the very last thing she’d have dared to do.
As she began to look over the notes she’d prepared to discuss with her client, Angela paused for a moment to contemplate the current state of her relationship with Nick. She continued to be in disbelief that they were still together at this point – more than six months after that first night. She had never allowed herself to hope that he would still be interested in her, wouldn’t have moved on long ago or grown tired of having a steady relationship with the same person for this amount of time.
Though to call what they had a relationship would be a stretch of anyone’s imagination. What they had, in brutal honesty, was far more of a master/slave relationship, though not the sort generally thought of in BDSM circles. Instead, it was more a case of Angela being at his beck and call, of permitting him to call all the shots, and of molding herself into the sort of woman he wanted her to be at all times. He continued to choose her clothes, though by now she had an extensive wardrobe and knew exactly how he liked her to dress. Nick accompanied her when she got her hair cut – at a salon he’d picked out – and actually oversaw how much the stylist trimmed at one time. She had a thrice weekly session with a personal trainer that Nick had selected for her, at a very private, exclusive gym that he’d also chosen. He ordered her food and drinks when they dined out, and always chose the restaurant. And he kept a very diligent eye on her weight to make sure she didn’t lose any of the twelve pounds she’d packed on at his insistence.
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