Shalia's Diary (20 page)

“Who do you come for, Shalia?”

“I come for you, Dramok,” I sobbed.  It hurt to hold out, and even Esak’s bite couldn’t subvert that pain.

“Who masters you, Shalia?”

“You, Dramok.  Please.  Please.”

“Will you come if I don’t allow it?”

I screamed at the cruel question.  I had to come, I just had to.

“Answer me, Shalia.  Will you come if I say no?”

I wanted to curse him.  I wanted to scream my defiance.  What I said was, “No, Dramok.  If you say no, I will not come.  Please...”

I shook and shuddered as I made myself obey him.  His fingers stroked through my hair, comforting me even as he drove against me, torturing me with need.

“Come for me, my little pretty.”

Orgasm rolled hugely through me, bursting me at the seams.  I fell into it, letting it take me from Dusa’s cruel torment.  I rode the waves of agonizing bliss for an eternity, equally tortured and jubilant.

I may have lost consciousness.  I’m not sure.  When I regained my senses, I’d been untied and I lay blissfully between the warm bodies of my lovers.  The men stroked and kissed me, murmuring soft words in their own language.

I can’t explain why I felt complete as I drifted there.  But somehow being there with Dusa and Esak, floating in the post-climax fog, I was whole.  I wish I could always feel that way.  I wish I didn’t have to return to the real world with all its trials and anger.  I guess I should simply be grateful I had those few moments and treasure them forever.

They've just brought me back to my room.  Mom is still out like a light.  And now I’ll go to bed and sleep for the few hours left of the night.  Tomorrow will be another busy one, and I need to rest.

September 23 (just before noon)

I’ve just finished putting the finishing touches on my presentation “The Proper Way to Approach Earther Females”.  A huge boon was the last-minute addition of my propaganda films, “The Evils of Kalquorians” and “Punishment of a Whore”, both of which Nang dug up from the media archives here on base.  Those were the two pieces of shit vids I won awards for.  It was kind of embarrassing for the commander to have seen the lies I spread all over the planet on behalf of my government.

Having watched and squirmed all the way through them, I have to admit they will go a long way towards informing the rescuers exactly what they are up against when it comes to how we were brainwashed into mindlessly hating Kalquorians.  Not to mention the vids will clue them in on our sheer terror of being in compromising situations with men in general.  After being reminded of my way too well-argued points on how the aliens were demonic emissaries devoted to destroying us, I’m a little more understanding towards the attitudes I’m getting from my fellow Earthers.  It’s no wonder they view me with such anger and hatred.  I really must seem like a whoring traitor to the casual observer.  That’s not to say I’m still not going to go full-on crazy bitch if they threaten me or Mom.  But I can kind of get where they’re coming from.

I feel guilty for the fear my work has inspired.  Who knows how many Earthers might perish because they are too afraid to approach the Kalquorian rescue teams?  And it’s all because I was the mouthpiece that said ‘stay away’.  Maybe the penance of making this presentation will make up for the evil I’ve done.  I certainly hope so, though I know there will be plenty of people the Kalquorians won’t be able to reach even armed with better knowledge.  Some Earthers will never be convinced the alien race wants to help us survive unless it’s to breed.

Well, I’m off to see Commander Nang to wrap this puppy up.  A final spin and polish, and it will be ready to show to the others.  One thing that I don’t think I’ll have to be worried about is my libido.  I’m still sore from last night, and I do not want a double-dicking at all.  Nang better be ready to be turned away.  I swear, I can barely sit straight.  Not that I’m complaining.  Today’s sensitive butt was well worth last night’s pleasure.

September 23 (evening)

Well, so much for the under-control libido.  Damned Kalquorians.  Their very presence seems to be an aphrodisiac.

The meeting portion with Nang went well.  He had a bunch of people waiting around to see him outside his office, but when I walked in and he noticed I was there he sent them all away.  Then he ushered me in and shut the door.

I did my speech for him, playing my vids in the appropriate places.  Overall he thought I’d nailed it.  It’s good to know I’m nowhere near rusty when it comes to putting together a production.  We ironed out some terms he thought Kalquorians might find confusing.  He also gave me a few pointers on how to present myself to gain the empathy of Nobeks, which he said are the ones who tend to scare Earthers the most.  Considering the intimidation I felt from last night’s bodyguard, I knew exactly what he was talking about.  I told him about Big Scary, and Nang had a good laugh.  He said the guy probably overdid it in an effort to show me no one was going to get past him.

“This is exactly the issue I’m talking about fixing,” Nang said, sobering a bit.  “What was meant to comfort and make you feel secure had the opposite effect.”

“I was afraid to even look at him,” I admitted.  “I thought he might bash my head in if I accidentally frowned or stared too long.”

Nang shook his head.  “What a mess.  Do you have that list of equipment needed to vid record your entire presentation?  Several sites have asked for copies to present to their people.”

I gave him my list.  “I’m nervous about getting in front of so many people.  I’ve always wanted to do broadcasting and be in front of the cameras, but this live thing has me sweating.”

He smiled at me.  Nang looks as fierce as a Nobek sometimes when he’s all commander-ish, but when he softens up, he’s drool-worthy.  “You’ll do wonderfully.  I know you will.  I’ll be right there to support you all the way.”

We next went to work on the presentation he wants to make to the Earther refugees who have come here.  That was about an hour’s worth of brainstorming and getting major points hashed out.  Instead of hanging out over his desk, he set up his computer at the little conversation area he has across the room.  We sat at a low table on the biggest pillows I’d ever seen...more like super-soft cushions, in fact.  It was pretty comfy.  We sat there next to each other, our heads bent over his computer.  We must have had five different vids up and operating at one time with major issues listed, the Galactic Council’s mandate, the terms set forth by Kalquor’s Imperial Clan and Royal Council on clanning Earther women, and even a top secret message from the Holy Leader himself detailing the reason he would not disarm the explosives beneath the cities.  That little missive was directed to the members of his cabinet, including one Michael Durham.  It made something in me ill to see Mike’s name right there in black and white.  I’m not sure if it’s because of the hell he put me through or because he’s dead.  Probably both.  Can you say ‘mixed emotions’?  One moment I think of justice being served, and the next I feel guilt because Mike had not supported what led to Armageddon.

After we got some of that squared away, Nang kind of lowered the boom on me.  “Why don’t we schedule your presentation two days from now?  We’ll make it for the evening, about an hour after the day shift has ended.  I’ll delay the evening shift so the majority of my men can attend.”

“Two days?”  My heart started pounding.

“You’ve got everything ready from your end.  I see no reason why we can’t have the recording equipment and auditorium prepared by then.”

“Yeah.  I suppose you’re right.”  I tried to sound a lot more confident then I felt.

The next thing I knew, Nang picked me up and put me in his lap.  He hugged me close.  “You will be magnificent, Shalia.  I don’t doubt it for a moment.”

Oh heck.  Here I was in a compromising position.  Again.  Vulnerable to a sexy Kalquorian.  Again.  There is just something about Nang’s uber-confident personality that knocks me for a loop every time.

I have no sense where he’s concerned.  At least I didn’t have to feel guilty about Dusa and Esak.  They’d made it pretty clear that if there is no clanship, there are no ties.  It’s not cheating.

Still, they were very much on my mind after a moment of kissing Nang.  Okay, maybe after more than a moment.  Like, a couple of minutes.  I caught myself comparing Nang to Dusa again, who’d been pretty commanding at our last encounter.  I thought perhaps Dusa was coming into his own as a Dramok, though I truthfully don’t know enough about the Kalquorian way of doing things to say for sure.  Esak wasn’t lacking in the confidence department either.

Realizing that the pair were way too much on my mind for me to entertain another man, I pushed against Nang’s chest to make him break the kiss.  “I don’t think this is such a good idea, Nang.”

He grinned, clearly thinking the challenge would be more fun than a real hindrance.  “I think it’s a very good idea.”

“Okay, you’re pretty darned hot and all, but the truth is, I’m seeing someone.  A couple of someones.  A Dramok and his Nobek.”

Nang arched an eyebrow.  “Let me guess...Dusa and Esak?”

I was a little relieved I didn’t have to explain everything.  I also felt plenty chagrined that my affair with the pair was well enough known that it had reached all the way to the site commander’s ears.  “Right.  Earthers are a monogamous species.  Of course I realize being with two Kalquorians isn’t real monogamy, but they are kind of a unit, being clanmates and all.  So it’s kind of weird to be sitting here, kissing you.  It doesn’t feel very – ethical.”

He considered me for a moment.  Then he stood, cradling me in his arms like a baby.  He walked across his office towards his desk, talking as he went.  “Let me explain this to you, Shalia.  Dusa and Esak have no expectations of your monogamy as they do not have an Imdiko clanned yet.  Even if they did, the three men would have to be a unit for at least a year before adding a Matara.  Only a full and well-established clan can claim a female mate for their own.”

He sat me on his desk.  I looked up into his rugged face, thinking how easy it would be to go back to kissing him.  Instead I told him, “I understand that.  I’m still not comfortable with what feels like playing behind their backs.”  My cheeks heated as I added what I thought would convince him more than anything else.  “Plus I’m sore from being with them last night.”

Nang looked at me for several seconds.  Finally he asked, “Are you attracted to me, Shalia?”

I couldn’t help myself.  I looked him up and down, noting all that masculinity well displayed in his skintight formsuit.  I sighed.  “I’d have to be blind and insane not to be.”

That earned me a laugh.  “Part of my job here is not just to save as many of your people as I can.  I’m also supposed to attract as many fertile Mataras to Kalquor as possible, without forceful coercion.”  Nang’s voice dropped until it was rumbling through my bones.  “You need to know there are many Kalquorian men who can satisfy your needs.  You’ve had a taste of the younglings.  It’s time you knew the experienced touch of a man with rank and maturity.  I would be remiss in my duty if I neglected educating you on that.  I must try to convince you to go to Kalquor.”

“Oh,” was all I could think to say.  Nang made a very persuasive argument.

“You don’t want me to not do my job to the fullest of my ability, do you?”

Perish the thought.  But my stupid mouth had to say, “I’m still sore.  I don’t think I’m up to sex.  Seriously, Nang.  I don’t think I’ll enjoy it.”

He laughed, but there was something dangerous in the sound.  “A real man doesn’t have to put his cocks in a woman to satisfy her needs.”  He inhaled sharply.  “You are in need, lovely Shalia.  I can smell it, and I cannot allow you to leave my office in such a state.”

Nang was right in that I was aroused.  My panties were soaked.  Damn, that man could probably have talked the Holy Leader into skipping church.  I’d never known anyone that could get me going just from a look and the sound of his voice.

So when Nang pressed me back to lie on his desk, I went down way too easy.  I made no effort to stop him as he unbuttoned my blouse, spread it open, and eased my bra up over my breasts.  Then he pushed my skirt up to bunch at my waist.  He slipped my panties down, pulling them past my slippered feet.  His eyes darkened as he displayed my sex to his gaze.