Shafted (16 page)

‘I’m not
gonna
get pulled, and the tats are going nowhere,’ Dex snapped.

‘You should invest in a nice toupee,’ Hilda told him. ‘I know you lads say you like it short, but that’s just an excuse because you’re going thin, isn’t it? You’ll look like that man off the telly soon, if you’re not careful – him what has that daft bit combed over the top what lifts up in the wind.’

‘Don’t talk to my dad like that,’ Molly snapped indignantly. ‘If anyone needs a new wig, it’s
you
, ’cos you’ve probably got all sorts living in that mess of yours.’

Wanting to keep Dex’s mind on the subject at hand, Nora told Molly to button it, then said, ‘What d’y’ reckon, son?’

Shrugging, he said, ‘Our Pat should do it instead, seeing as you all think it’s such a good idea.’

‘They won’t let me or I would,’ Patrick told him, his eyes showing how much he’d have loved to do exactly that. ‘It’s you or nothing, our kid. You’re the only one who can give me mam a better life – and God knows she deserves it after all the shit she’s put up with off us over the years.’

Frowning at him, Nora said, ‘All right, no need to lay it on so thick.’ Then, back to Dex: ‘Your decision, son, but you’d make me
that
proud if you did it, you really would.’

Reaching out when she took a tissue out of her pocket and dabbed at her eyes, Dex put his arm around her waist and gave her a hug. ‘Don’t start blubbing, you dozy auld cow. I’d do it for you if I could, but it’s too late now, ’cos he’s gone, isn’t he? And I don’t know where they’re doing the filming.’

Smiling, Nora looked down at him. ‘You’d really do it for me?’

‘Too right.’ He winked at her. ‘I don’t usually agree with our kid, but he’s right about this – you
do
deserve something good after all the shit we’ve put you through.’

‘Good,’ Nora said, all trace of teariness gone now. ‘’Cos he’s waiting outside. You’d best get a move on, though, ’cos he won’t be there for much longer.’

‘You kidding me?’

‘Do I look like I’m kidding? Now, get yourself up the stairs and put something nice on, ’cos I’m not having you going on telly in your scruffs and showing me up – even if I won’t get to see it.’

Laughing, amused that he’d just been manipulated by the crafty old girl, Dex stood up and went to do as he was told.

‘Result!’ Patrick crowed, jumping up and giving his mother a kiss. ‘Just wait till he comes back in that Range Rover, Mam. Then you really
will
be proud!’

‘Horses and chariots,’ Hilda piped up, her face a picture of smug satisfaction.

Too excited to be annoyed with her, Nora took a cigarette out of her pack and chucked it at her, saying, ‘Here . . . get that in your gob and belt up, for gawd’s sake!’

Even Molly laughed now. She hadn’t thought her dad would go for a game show, but she had to admit that she was chuffed to bits that he’d decided to do it. None of her mates’ dads could lay claim to being on first-name terms with a big star like Larry Logan! Just wait till they heard about this.

‘Bloody hell, he’s coming,’ Larry said, his eyebrows arching with genuine surprise when the Lewises’ front door opened a few minutes later and Dex walked out, looking much smarter than when Larry had left him, in a shirt, trousers and a black leather jacket. ‘I can’t believe she managed to persuade him.’

‘That’s mothers for you,’ Dave grunted amusedly. ‘Wish I could be a fly on the wall to see her face when she realises she’s sent her precious son to the gallows, though. And I wouldn’t like to be in
your
shoes when she does, ’cos she’s gonna be after your blood.’

Grinning because he was so pleased with himself for netting Keeton’s most-wanted, Larry said, ‘Tough. She’ll be too late to do anything about it, won’t she.’

‘Best get out and open the door for him,’ Dave said now, watching Dex out of the corner of his eye as he came towards the car with his head down.

‘That’s the chauffeur’s job,’ Larry reminded him.

‘Only if you want him to do a runner before we even get moving,’ Dave hissed, pressing the button to slide the mirrored panel across to shield him from view.

Tutting softly when he found himself staring at his own reflection, Larry opened the door and climbed out. Ushering Dex in, he waved to Nora, Molly and Hilda, who were standing together at the gate now, and called, ‘Promise I won’t keep him out too long, Nora, but you’d best not wait up – just in case.’ A grin now. ‘You know what it’s like when lads get together to celebrate – hard to keep track of time.’

Delighted that the neighbours were still out to witness this, Nora called back loudly, ‘You keep him out as long as you like, Larry, love. Only don’t go getting him
too
pissed, or I’ll have to tan your backside for you!’

Laughing, Larry climbed into the car with Dex and said, ‘She’s a character, your mum, isn’t she?’

‘You can say that again,’ Dex agreed, rubbing his hands together as he scanned the booze. ‘Do we help ourselves, or have you got a servant stashed away somewhere to come and pour it for us?’

Waving for him to help himself, Larry said, ‘Knock yourself out. It’s all free.’

Reaching for a glass, Dex filled it with neat brandy, then offered the bottle to Larry. Grinning when he refused, he said, ‘Bit of a lightweight these days, are you?’

‘Only in public,’ Larry said, intimating that he was just as much of a hard-drinking man in private as ever, because he sensed that Dex would respect him more for that. In actuality, he’d cut down dramatically since securing this contract, disgusted with himself for letting it get so out of control in the first place and almost losing everything.

Settling back in his seat, Dex stretched his legs out and gazed around the lush interior of the car. ‘No wonder you’re so desperate to get yourself back on telly if this is what comes with it. Get to ride round in one of these all the time, do you?’

‘When I’m working,’ Larry said, reaching for the remote and switching on the small plasma-screen TV. ‘What do you fancy?’

‘It’s the business this,’ Dex said, looking thoroughly impressed. ‘Stick it on Q, or something – see if they’ve got any of them rock bands on with the birds in hot pants.’

‘Wouldn’t have taken you for a rocker,’ Larry said, scrolling through the menu to find the channel that Dex wanted. ‘Thought you’d have been more of an Eminem guy.’

‘Won’t catch me listening to that shite,’ Dex sneered, swigging on his drink. ‘Pure metal merchant, me.’ Sitting up straighter as they turned out of his mother’s street onto the main road, he peered out of the window, saying, ‘Hey, there’s some of me mates. Watch their faces when they cop me in this!’ Pressing the button to lower the window, he climbed halfway out and waved his glass in the air, yelling, ‘Yo! Mark . . . Reidy . . . Chinko! Check me, you cunts!’ Laughing when the men started yelling back, asking what he was doing in a motor like that, he gave them the wanker sign and flopped back onto his seat. ‘They’ll be straight round me mam’s to find out what’s going on, you watch.’

Closing the window again from his side, Larry smiled, amused by Dex’s boyish excitement because it was such a stark contrast to the mean, moody macho act he’d put on in his mother’s house. Listening as he chattered on about how jealous his mates were going to be when they saw him in his
own
new car, and how he was going to treat his mother to a cruise with the money, and buy his daughter a whole new wardrobe of clothes and shoes, Larry wondered if Inspector Keeton had been talking about the same man. Dex wasn’t the kind of person Larry would choose as a mate, but he definitely didn’t seem as bad as he’d been painted, and Larry actually felt a bit guilty for setting him up.

But only a bit. Definitely not enough to let him off the hook and warn him what was coming.

Which reminded him . . . he needed to talk him through the show before they got there; make sure he knew there could be delays in case he got jumpy and thought about taking off before Keeton got around to him, because his arrest would be the money shot of the show if they got it right.

‘I’ll run you through the schedule before we get there so you know what’s what,’ he said. Then – to make Dex feel really privileged – he added, ‘But don’t tell any of the other contestants that I personally came to get you, because we don’t want them thinking I’m playing favourites, or anything.’

‘Secret’s safe with me,’ Dex drawled, tapping the side of his nose with his finger. Then,‘So, who am I up against? Bet they’re all dead posh, aren’t they?’

‘I haven’t actually met any of the others, but I imagine there’ll be a fair mix,’Larry said.‘I’d prefer not to have posh ones, ’cos I reckon if they’ve already got money they should leave things like this to the people who really need it. But if there are any, I’ll just take the piss out of them – and that’s always fun, ’cos they never catch on. You’ve got nothing to worry about, though,’ he said now, giving Dex a conspiratorial smile. ‘I reckon you’re gonna do really well.’

Grinning, convinced that his new mate Larry was going to make sure that he won, Dex said, ‘Cheers, mate. And fuck the posh cunts, ’cos us working-class heroes are coming to snatch back some of the money they’ve been sitting on!’

‘Too right,’ Larry murmured, wondering where people like Dex got the idea that they were any kind of heroes when the only work they ever did usually involved ripping off honest workers. He knew the type only too well, because his brothers, his dad, and even his mum to some extent had been like that. They all thought nothing of stealing what they couldn’t afford to buy – even from him. Bastards!

‘Anyway, the schedule,’ he said now, shaking the thought of his family away because they annoyed him even from a distance. ‘You’ll get a champagne reception when we get there, and then you’ll be introduced to your team.’

‘Team?’ Dex repeated, not looking quite so pleased suddenly. ‘I thought this was an everyman-for-himself kind of thing. I don’t want to be on a
team
and end up having to share the prize with some cunt.’

‘It’s not that kind of team,’ Larry assured him, grinning slyly as he added, ‘This is more of a personal-escort type of thing. And I guarantee you’ll like it, because I saw the girls before I left the studio this morning, and they are
hot
.’

‘Girls, eh?’ Dex was all ears again. ‘Oh, well, that’s different. And what are they gonna be doing?’

‘Keeping you happy,’ Larry told him. ‘And they will, because they’re all models, and they’ve got tits like you wouldn’t believe.’ Flapping his hand now, he said, ‘But you’ll see them for yourself when we get there, so I’ll shut up before I end up walking in with a fucking flagpole sticking out of my pants.’

‘That good, huh?’ Dex leered.

‘Better,’ Larry said. Then, ‘Anyway, all the contestants get their own team, and they stay with you all day till you go on set – to make sure you’re not too nervous, and keep you supplied with drinks and food, and what have you. You’ll all have your own rooms just in case there’s any trouble, because some contestants can be a bit
competitive
when there’s so much at stake, and it can get a bit nasty.’

‘That don’t bother me,’ Dex said unconcernedly. ‘I’ll just knock the fuckers out if they try pulling any shit like that on me.’

Chuckling softly, Larry said, ‘Good job we’re keeping you away from them then, eh? I’d hate to see you lose your chance at getting that car just because someone’s said something bitchy and wound you up. Anyway, the girls will make sure no one gets into your room, and if you want anything just ask and they’ll get it for you. But you won’t be able to go walkabout, I’m afraid, because the producers don’t want to risk anyone getting hold of the question-and-answer sheets.’

‘That’s me fucked, then,’ Dex snorted amusedly.

‘You’ll be fine,’ Larry said, giving him yet another hint that he had it in the bag.

‘How long’s it gonna take?’ Dex asked now, wondering when he’d be getting his next smoke, because he’d only had one little spliff before leaving and he was already coming down off that.

Telling him that it was in the hands of the technical-equipment gods, Larry said, ‘We’re scheduled for a two o’clock start, but every show I’ve ever done has had delays of some sort or another, so you’re best looking on it as a day-long thing. Not got plans for tonight, have you?’

‘Nah, I’m cool,’ Dex said. ‘Just fancied a bit of puff, but I’ve left mine at the house. Don’t suppose you’ve got any?’

Shaking his head, Larry gave a surreptitious nod towards the mirrored panel separating them from the driver. ‘Can’t risk it with these company chauffeurs. They’ll either run straight back to the boss and grass you up, or sell the story to the papers. Best just leaving it till you get home.’

‘Plenty of booze, though.’ He waved for Dex to help himself. ‘And with any luck, there’ll be champagne coming out of your ears by the end of the night.’ Smiling slyly, he said, ‘Anyway, let me talk you through the procedure before we get there – make sure you know everything you need to know so we can wipe the floor with the bastards.’

Back at the studio just then, Terri was panicking. For a show like this to work, timing was everything, but Keeton had already thrown the schedule out when he came up with the bright idea of sending Larry out to Dex Lewis’s house in one of the two limos this morning. And, then, to make matters worse, Keeton himself had been called back to the police station across town to deal with some sort of emergency. And with Jon busy assisting with the editing of the first cut of
Cops ’n’ Bobbies
, getting it ready to send back to Shock-Wave’s LA office, she was having to cope with all of this alone – and was beginning to feel way out of her depth.

Larry had been out for far too long already, so the second car was having to do all the collecting and delivering, and they were way behind now, with only five targets here when there really should have been ten. Although that was actually a mixed blessing, because Terri was already running round like a maniac trying to make sure that their paths didn’t cross, so it would have been worse if there had been twice as many to deal with. The entire crew were equipped with radio headsets so that they could let each other know where they were at all times, but if one target happened to spot another and suss what was going on it would blow the whole thing apart. And the longer Larry and Keeton were gone, the more chance there was of something like that happening.