Shaedes of Gray: A Shaede Assassin Novel (31 page)

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Authors: Amanda Bonilla

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BOOK: Shaedes of Gray: A Shaede Assassin Novel
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Chapter 22
 
I
went home and looked over every inch of my body in the mirror. No marks. Not a birthmark, a mole, or even a scar or discoloration. Screaming Girl must have been mistaken. Her weird little rhyme played over and over in my head, though, as well as her assertion that “they” were coming for me.
I hadn’t allowed myself to slow down for weeks. Since Xander’s appearance in my life, I’d been kept so busy, I hadn’t had much time to consider my situation. But as I crashed down on my bed, I finally let myself think.
Xander. Had he really wanted me? Or was it just another of his tricks to keep me tied to him? I had my own personal wish granter, for who knows how long—and he hadn’t even had the decency to ask me how I felt about it. And then there was Azriel. My former lover and maker who’d left me alone and uninformed had returned—for what? To conquer a kingdom? To take some kind of revenge on his own father for sending him into exile? And what was it he wanted? A crown? Me? And last but not least, the “marked woman” thing. Marked how? Where? Why? The whole damn thing made my head ache.
Only one of my boots had the chance to clunk to the floor before I passed into a deep and dreamless sleep.
I woke well into late afternoon, one boot still on my foot. My hair engulfed my face in a snarled mass, and by the look of the twisted mess of covers, I guessed that I’d tossed and turned for most of the morning. My eyes felt a little too puffy when I rubbed the sleep from them, and my mouth dry and sticky. It was like waking up to realize you’ve partied way too hard the night before. But, unfortunately, my night had nothing to do with fun.
Coffee was my first order of business, followed by a bowl of cereal. The normalcy of my actions both comforted and disquieted me. My spoon circled a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios as I replayed the previous night’s events in my mind. I’d never allowed my conscience to dwell on death. I was a killer. I wasn’t so foolish as to try to convince myself otherwise. I’d killed humans, but never anyone who didn’t deserve it. Evil people with not even enough moral fortitude to fill the spoon I swirled in my bowl. It was all part of the lovely gray area that freed me from guilt. Last night, I’d killed a girl, a Sylph, and I had not been paid or directed to do so. She wasn’t evil. Out of her mind, sure. But I don’t think she would have done the things she’d done if something hadn’t been seriously wrong with her. If I’d let her continue, she may have killed me, Levi, a handful of her own kind, and a few more humans too. Maybe. Maybe not.
Was I getting soft? The block of ice that encased my heart had begun to melt by slow degrees, and I wondered whom I should blame for that. Tyler? Xander? Both?
Raif would need to know about the Sylph and her strange prophetic announcement. Oh, and the fact that I’d killed our only lead. I paused, the spoon of floating rings hovering in front of my mouth. He’d need to know about Azriel as well. My stomach soured at the prospect of telling him I’d failed in killing the sonofabitch. Holy fuck. I did not want to tell him that.
The grating buzz of my intercom gave me a start. Most of my visitors didn’t bother with the formality. I went to the lift and pushed in the button by the speaker on the wall. “What do you want?”
“It’s Tyler. Can I come up?”
He never rang. Ever. “Why’d you ring?” I softened the hard edge of my voice as butterflies took flight in my stomach. “You always just come up.”
“I was worried when you didn’t come back to Xander’s last night,” he said, and then added, “I thought you’d appreciate the fact that I’m trying to respect some boundaries.”
He’d already tried that act and bombed. What made him think I’d appreciate a repeat performance? “Well, you thought wrong,” I said. “Come up.”
I let go of the button and went back to my bowl of cereal, now too soggy to eat. I put the bowl in the sink and filled it with water just as the lift came to a halt. Tyler stepped out, a grim look on his face.
“How’s Delilah?” I asked.
“Asleep. She still isn’t talking. Mumbling a little, but nothing coherent. I needed a break, and she’s well guarded at Xander’s.”
My stomach gave a flip at the sight of him, and settled into a warm glow. “What are you doing here?” I wanted him to know that I felt better having him close. That everything wrong in my life had become just a little more right because he was here. But I kept my mouth clamped shut, the words trapped behind a hundred years of practice in keeping my emotions locked down—tight.
“I told you. I was worried. I wanted to see you, make sure you’re okay.” His voice sounded soft, steady. Not the usual overconfident Tyler. He still wasn’t smiling.
“Well, here I am,” I said, spreading my arms wide.
He walked toward the kitchen like a reluctant kid, staring at the floor. He opened his mouth, clamped it shut, and ran his fingers through the thick waves of his hair. While he wrestled with what he wanted to say, I held my breath and waited for the blow.
“I came here planning to tell you that if you don’t want me, I’ll leave you alone. You can break the bond and be free of me and I’ll bow out. You can be with Xander.”
His words slapped me right in the face. “Ty,” I began, wrestling with my own words. “I don’t know what I want. You know how I am. I’m not a share-my-feelings kind of person. I’m just—I’m . . . I
don’t
want you to leave me alone.”
“Do you love him?”
Xander was frustrating more than he was endearing. If love meant that I wanted to gut punch him and kick him when he was down, then, sure. I loved the shit out of him. “No. I don’t. He’s a royal pain in my ass. But he’s a link to my own kind, and I’ve been alone for so,
so
long. Tyler, why are you putting so much pressure on me?”
Tyler rapidly closed the distance between us. I stepped away from the counter, ready for anything and prepared for nothing.
“He wants you,” he said low. “He made it sound like you had feelings for him, too. Told me if I didn’t make myself scarce, he’d have Raif chop me up into little bite-sized pieces.”
I opened my mouth to protest. I couldn’t imagine Xander behaving in such an impetuous way. Not the cool, detached king I knew.
“I thought about it for about half a second. Leaving you. But then I realized something . . .”
I took a deep, long breath. “What’s that?” I whispered.
“It’s gonna take a lot more than Xander’s petty threats to keep me from you.”
“Oh.” Was it really my voice that said the tiny word? I looked up at him and he smiled.
“I love you. You don’t have to say it back. You don’t even have to love me back. But I love you. I
love
you, Darian. Till I die, I’ll love you.”
“I wish I could say it back,” I said, honestly sorry. If anything, he deserved reciprocation. “But—”
Tyler took my face in his hands and lowered his mouth to mine. His cool lips caressed mine tenderly at first, but soon the urgency of his actions transformed his kisses into something altogether more forceful.
I should have stopped him, but when his tongue slid against mine, I couldn’t remember why.
He didn’t waste any time letting me know exactly what he wanted. My head swam from the intoxicating taste of him, and while my own hands were busy slipping under his shirt to explore the muscled expanse of his chest, his were working their way up my back to unhook the clasp of my bra. From there, my shirt made its way up and over my head, landing on the floor in a heap, followed a second later by the bra.
My breath came in a gasp as he pulled away from my lips to leave a trail of cool kisses down my throat, to my shoulder, and across my collarbone. He bent me back, just a little, and ventured farther down, taking my breast in his mouth and sucking deeply before pulling back at my nipple. My body became alive with sensation, the pleasure of Tyler’s touch that I’d denied myself for far too long. A soft moan swelled from somewhere in my throat and I guided him to the other breast, where he went willingly, teasing the flesh into a taught peak with his teeth.
The sun descended in the western sky and the muted orange glow filtered in through the skylights to bathe Tyler in a diffuse light. I pulled the buttons on his shirt and raked it over his shoulders, mingling with my own discarded clothes. His exposed chest flexed beneath my fingers as I explored his smooth skin, his heated gaze laying claim to every inch of my body. I kissed his neck just to the side of his strong jaw before running my tongue along his ear. Taking his earlobe in between my teeth, I sucked before returning to his mouth so I could savor the sweet taste of him once again.
He led and I followed. We had eyes only for each other and couldn’t bother ourselves to watch where we were going. Stumbling as we went, our hands and mouths greedy for the other’s flesh, it took just a few awkward steps before we made it to the foot of my bed. Fingers shaking, I grappled with the button on his jeans, while he cupped my breasts, teasing my nipples with his thumbs, his teeth grazing the flesh at my neck. I jerked his pants down and he maneuvered them to his ankles, kicked them off, and tackled me in one fluid motion. I fell to the downy surface, and he kissed me with a starved passion, his tongue intertwining with mine. He pulled back and unfastened my pants, pulled them off with my underwear, and threw them behind him. His eyes raked me from head to toe, and a jolt of excitement coursed through my body, settling and throbbing between my legs.
Tyler’s chest rose and fell with his breath as he continued to stare at my naked body. “I’ve walked the earth for thousands of years and I’ve
never
seen anything as beautiful as you,” he said before kneeling where my legs dangled over the edge of the bed. I ran my fingers through the silky strands of his hair as it brushed my thighs, and I couldn’t suppress a shudder when his mouth latched on to me, tongue flicking out, caressing the most sensitive part of me. I gasped at the sensation, the coolness of his mouth where it met my heat. There wasn’t a single inch of me his mouth didn’t explore, and I arched my back, hips pressing me against his mouth. I couldn’t get enough, starved for the pleasure he gave me, and by the time he made it back up to my lips, I was crazy with desire for him.
“Ty,” I said breathlessly. “Oh, God, Tyler. Please . . .”
He braced his arms on either side of me and I reached down, stroking the hard, satin-smooth length of him.
Wow
. A low moan was all the encouragement I needed from him—it almost sent me over the edge—and I guided him into me.
Tyler lowered himself, wrapping me in a tight embrace. “Darian!” he breathed close to my ear. The sensation of his breath mixed with the scent of me on his lips sent another hot electric rush through every nerve ending, and I met the movements of his body with an insistence that he matched with enthusiastic fervor. My nails dug into the skin at his shoulders and I wrapped my legs around him, urging him deeper inside me. Why had I fought this moment for so long? It felt so right, so perfect. We moved together, one body, one breath, joined together in a way I’d never known. Tension built within me as I ground my hips hard into Tyler. I cried out as, deep in my core, the pleasure exploded in myriad lights and tingling sensations. I arched against him, swept up in the pulsing waves that went on and on until Tyler’s entire body shuddered as he pressed deep into me. An incomprehensible sound escaped his mouth, and he relaxed against my body, placing languid kisses along my neck, up my jaw, and ending at my mouth.
I lay still, enjoying the pulsing aftershocks that continued to rock my core, while Tyler slowly moved against me. I held on to him, keeping him right where he was so he wouldn’t pull away. He stayed, allowing me to enjoy the feeling of his full weight against my chest as I took in shallow gulps of breath.
We lay wrapped together for another moment or two before I finally let him roll away. He gathered me up in his arms, and I rested my cheek against his chest.
When I turned onto my back, Tyler shifted to his side and began tracing lazy patterns with a finger around my belly button. My body trembled and his deep, throaty laugh stirred the glowing embers of passion that hadn’t yet cooled.
“Leave with me,” he murmured. “It’s not safe here. Things are getting worse.”
“You know I can’t do that,” I said.
“War is just around the corner.” He rose to plant a kiss on my stomach. “This isn’t just about some bullshit job. Azriel is the least of Xander’s problems. It’s something worse. Something altogether bigger than a feud over his crown.”
“I know that,” I said.
Tyler looked up from his trail of kisses, an intense expression on his face. “What do you know?” he asked.
I proceeded to recount the events of the previous night, starting with the discussion I’d had with Raif and ending with the point of my sword exiting through the poor, screaming Sylph’s back. He listened with interest, offering comments when it seemed pertinent. It appeared that he knew what I knew—the Enphigmalé might be a bigger threat than we’d thought, and though he hadn’t outwardly admitted it, Azriel was involved in whatever it was they had planned.
“What do you think she meant?” I asked, referring to the Sylph’s strange proclamation.

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