Shadowborn (16 page)

“Part of the policing thing you mentioned?”

“Yeah, the Overseers dictate what kinds of visions we can share and which we can’t. Just ….” Head shaking, she rounded the island and threw her arms around me. “Tonight will be a bitch for you. I can’t say more, just know that I’ll be here when you get back if you want to talk. Know I’ll be thinking of you with all my might.”

For the first time, I hugged her back, my eyes growing wide. What would the elves have me doing? Dueling an ogre? What could it be to have Brígh in such a tizzy? Maybe it was better I didn’t know. Worrying over something I couldn’t change wouldn’t solve anything.

I stepped back. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For being … kind, when everyone else thinks I’m useless and probably the crabbiest hag they’ve ever met.”

She rubbed her hand along my arm. “You’re none of those things, and that’s what friends are for. You, Neve and I should hang out more. You know, girls night.”

I laughed, imagining having my nails done or one of them primping my hair, or whatever they did on a ‘girl’s night’. “I don’t know. Maybe.” I turned for the door.

“Don’t lie to him about Nix, Lila. He’s got the heart and soul of a king, and despite what’s happened to him, he loves his people. Don’t make him choose between you and his realm.”

My feet halted on the marble tile; my legs turned to lead poles. I peered at her over my shoulder. There was no point in denying what she’d probably seen between Nix and me. The cherry shake boiled in my stomach.

“Is that what I’m doing, forcing him to choose?” Had my insecurities taken such deep root in me I couldn’t see Liam’s union for what it was? A necessity. Something that wouldn’t stand between us if I looked past my human morals?

She got that queasy, glassy-eyed look that she’d had a moment before when she was about to tell me something she shouldn’t. “Just love him, and give him your blessing. By doing that, you’ll help him. I can’t say anything more.” With that little tidbit, Brígh rushed out of the kitchen and left me alone with the stone slab of guilt sitting pretty on my shoulders.

After a few moments to gather my courage, I headed to the portal to keep my date with the elves, and if I knew Liam—and Neasa—to face his wrath the moment I stepped outside of Dun Bray.

13

After sneaking through Dun Bray like a burglar on the prowl—all to avoid Nix—I trooped out of the cavern at Seven Gates and emerged under a newborn night sky. The stars sparkled through the crisp, winter air. A twilight haze settled over the forest, and an orange glow shone in an arch where the sun had gone to rest.

Nix would blow a fuse when he discovered I’d gone without him, but I didn’t want him around when I faced Liam—especially if Neasa had gotten word to him about my supposed consort business.

I searched outward with all of my senses for Alastair and his lost souls. Nothing moved in the eerie stillness.

A gurgling cough drew my gaze left. I found Liam sitting with his back propped against the rock wall amidst a dusting of snow. His white shirt had been torn to shreds, speckled with crimson. One of his grey pant legs had been ripped away. Blood dripped off his chin, and his arms clamped over his stomach.

“Liam.” My voice came out strangled as I sprinted to him. I knelt down beside his broken form, my hands hovering over his body, uncertain where I could touch without hurting him. My heart gave a painful lurch.

Another challenge for the throne? How long had Liam delayed taking a queen to protect my delicate sensibilities? “I’m so sorry.”

He gripped my arm, turned eyes swirling with hurt and fury up to me. “Tell me it isn’t true.”

I didn’t need to ask what he meant. My resolve to let him believe the lie crumbled under Brígh’s warning and Liam’s pain. “It isn’t true. Neasa’s trying to hurt us, that’s all, and I promise you, she’ll pay dearly. Now shut up, I’m going to speed up your healing.”

Donovan and Cas burst out of the Black City portal as I raised my face to the sky and extended my arms out along with my Will. Liam would eventually heal on his own, but I could do it faster. “Goddess, hear my plea.”

The stone rumbled beneath my knees as if the earth itself awakened at my request. Smoke-grey clouds rolled in from the west, consuming the twinkling sea of stars and snuffing out what remained of the natural light. I summoned my energy, as did the two Unseelie standing on Liam’s other side, casting a mixture of blue and white Light over the clearing.

Creatures of all breeds and sizes crept from the forest and stopped in a semi-circle around the four of us.

Wind mixed with snow encircled me like a winter tornado as I drew power from all those who came to lend it, including my father and the captain of Liam’s guard. Warmth pulsed beneath my skin. Power licked at my body. I soaked it into my blood, into my soul. I could no longer tell where the ground ended and I began. Like a tree extending roots downward, I sapped life-giving energy from the earth until I thought my body would combust.

Donovan gripped Cas’s shoulder as if he needed support. I’d forgotten he’d never seen my
cumhacht
in action, and it struck a shadow of fear mixed with pride in his arctic eyes.

My flesh turned translucent, no skin and bone, only white Light and determination.

“Help me.” My voice came out like chiming church bells as I looked up at the others.

My father hesitated for a moment, but he sped around the grunting Liam and crouched beside me. Between the two of us, we maneuvered the king so his back leaned against my front. I slid my hands around to his chest and searched his body with my inner sight. Broken ribs, damage to his kidneys and liver and a perforated stomach.

I clamped my arms tight and shoved my Will and power into Liam’s body. He jerked and thrashed, but I Willed him still. I forced his tissues to knit back together. A piteous scream launched from his throat. Grunting and panting, Liam began to relax against me, the tension leaving his muscles as his pain eased.

Even after he was fully healed, I didn’t free him but held tighter. His arms came up and clamped over mine as I hugged him, never wanting to let him go.

“Thank you,” he whispered as if even that took effort. “That’s the second time you’ve healed my sorry ass.” One of Liam’s own people had shot him before I knew he was a fae and had the ability to heal himself.

He pulled away and rested on his hands and knees. “I’ll never be able to make up for any of it. I’m sorry I was jealous. I should just want your happiness, but I’m selfish when it comes to you.”

Donovan ushered a gape-mouthed Cas toward the woods. “We’ll … check the perimeter.”

As if the whole world knew I needed a moment with Liam, the animals disappeared into the darkness, the clouds rolled out as fast as they’d arrived, and the wind died.

“I haven’t slept with Nix, just so you know.” I swallowed the lump of guilt from my throat; sucking face with another was bad enough in my books, and I still didn’t know what I’d have done if that nosy bitch hadn’t walked in. In the end, I didn’t sleep with him, and that was the important part. “And you have nothing to make up for. I’ve been acting like a spoiled brat instead of a grown fae. A queen. Do whatever you have to. Stop the challenges from happening with my blessing.” I scoffed at myself. “Not that you need my blessing or anything.”

Liam’s head twisted toward me, and his eyes grew wide. “You mean that, don’t you? All of it.”

I nodded, drew my knees up and rested my chin on them.

He expelled a sigh, crawled to me and sat down to my left. “I won’t lie, I’m relieved about the Nix thing. For the last hour, I’ve been beside myself. The thought of losing you, of never seeing you look at me that way again …” Liam stared at me with doubt passing over his features. “I need to be clear. What does it mean that I have your blessing?”

I drew in a heavy breath and heaved it out again in an effort to level out my voice that threatened to shake with emotion. “It means, I’m not going to make you choose between me and your people anymore. Take your queen tomorrow night, and I’ll be there to support you, no matter what happens.”

Liam’s brows drew together, forming a deep crease between them. “But … does that mean we can still be together? That you don’t hate me anymore?”

“I …” My stomach gave a violent twist. “I need some time to adjust to all of this. I’ve never hated you, and I’m not mad at you anymore. It’s all a little … a lot … weird.”

A chuckle burst out of him, but the sound held little amusement. “Weird. That’s one word for it. I grew up with the fae, but being king comes with a whole new world of strange. Before you, I never would have blinked at giving another a child because it’s our duty to create young if we can, but now … I still want us to …” He huffed, tilted his head and nodded as if he’d come to a conclusion about something. “You need time, fine. I’ve got lots. Don’t give up on us, Lila. Things are hard now. I get it, but we’ll find our way out of this dragon’s den.” His smile lit up his face and made my lips quirk up, too.

I licked my thumb and wiped the stripe of blood from his chin. “I can’t promise this whole queen business won’t get to me, but I’ll do my best not to make it hard on you. Just … I don’t want to talk about any of it.” I met his intense stare with one of my own, trying to ignore the storm surge inside. “She really doesn’t want a relationship with you?”

“We view each other as a duty and nothing more. I know human values would look down upon relationships outside of marriage, but our non-bonded marriages are not like human ones. They’re for political stability and rarely involve emotion.”

I hugged my knees tighter and tried not to think too hard about what he’d said. “How are we going to get through tomorrow night?”

Liam flew up to his feet, shaking his head. “I forbid you to come. It’s bad enough I’m forced to do this against my will. Do you think I want you seeing that?”

I stood and rounded his rigid body to face him again, keeping my expression neutral.
Keep it together, Lila. For him.
“Just as it’s your duty to take your queen, it’s my duty to be there. Both for you and as a show of solidarity between our people. I’ll be there, and it’s not up for debate.” Though I didn’t know how I’d hide my emotions among thousands of our people who would most certainly be watching my reactions. Somehow I had to put on a happy face and make everyone believe it. Even Liam. Especially him.

As his mouth opened to launch whatever rebuttal he’d been about to unload, I kissed him hard. Exquisite pleasure spiraled down my core and left no part of me untouched by his flare of energy. Our breaths shuddered out as we clung to one another, drowning fae looking for a solid support for our very survival. In his eyes, I found what I needed, what I didn’t find in Nix’s. Pure affection. All for me. My entire soul leaned toward him and begged to be claimed.

When Liam pulled at my clothes, I grabbed his wrists, both of us radiating enough Light to keep a whole army of Shadowborn away.

“No.” I gave him a hard stare. “I can’t be with you like that. Not now with the way things are. Can you just …” A groan burned in my throat. I lowered my face against his shoulder.
Idiot
.

Liam hugged me tighter. “I’ll do anything for you. Name it, and it’s yours.”

I banged my forehead against him in embarrassment. “I’d like you to hold me for a while, all right?” At his snicker, I pounded him on the chest.

He sat along the wall. I climbed onto his lap and buried my face against his throat, drawing him in with deep inhalations. The simple contact, where our bare skin connected, radiated pleasure and rightness through my body and mind. Needing more, I peeled off my sweater with his help and settled down on him again, his arms wrapped snugly around me.

“Goddess, I’ve missed you,” Liam said, his lips against my temple. “I want to hold you like this forever.”

I raised my gaze to him and stroked his cheek. “For a few minutes, can we pretend we don’t have to say goodbye this time?”

“No matter what happens, no matter if an ocean or a three headed troll stands between us, it will never be goodbye.” His lips caressed mine. A single tear hovered on his lashes before it dropped onto my cheek.

I turned my head into his shoulder and pounded him with my fist again as my own eyes clouded and stung. “You know better than to make me cry, Liam Kane. Shut up or I’m going to end up snotting all over you.”

His laughter invaded me like a siren’s song, the one I loved and hadn’t heard in a long time. I joined him. All of the need and sexual tension I’d been building for a month left me as we clung to one another, cackling like lunatics. It was a relief to know touch alone could satisfy my needs. Not that I minded the sex, but touch I could get in the middle of a crowded room without too many wayward looks.

“Why do we have to go to the elves tonight?” I said, wiping my eyes. “Even though we’re out in the snow, I could stay here all night like this.”

Liam’s fingertips played along my brow, over my temple, across my shoulder as he gave me a lazy smile. “We could always get that guard of yours to freeze time for a while.”

I actually considered going to find Andrew for a second before I laughed at the idea. “Somehow I don’t think altering time is something to be played with.” The task ahead sobered me. “We have to face reality eventually, and the sooner the better.”

“Yeah, I guess.” Liam’s smile faded, too. “We’ll figure this all out. Somehow.” The doubt in his voice echoed my own.

Nix emerged from the cavern, his gaze darting everywhere but at me. The moon cast a silver shimmer over his white hair.

I yanked my sweater over my head.

“How long have you been there?” I glanced at the half naked Liam, who shocked me by appearing neutral instead of smug, before trotting over to my captain, lugging my ocean’s worth of guilt with me. I stood in front of him, unsure what to do. Did I owe him an explanation? Probably. “We didn’t—”

“Please, don’t.” Nix flashed a smile full of hurt. “I’m happy you got what you needed, even if it was from him.” He gestured to Liam with a jut of his chin. “We need to go to Freymoor now.”