Shadow Walker (21 page)

“Laughing Brook means nothing to me. Had I wanted her I could have had her years ago.”

“That’s right, you don’t want a wife. You prefer to live with memories of the past. Unfortunately,
memories can’t warm your bed. You use women like Laughing Brook to satisfy your male needs and fill your empty moments.”

“My empty moments can never be filled by women like Laughing Brook, not even temporarily,” Shadow Walker confessed. He pulled her closer, his gaze intense and probing as he looked deeply into her eyes. He cupped her face with his hands and brought his mouth down on hers. Dawn felt as if she had waited forever for this kiss.

He kissed her endlessly, his mouth hot and hard, his tongue deeply seductive. His breath was warm and tasted of mint. Fire licked through her when his tongue touched hers. He began to caress her breasts, and Dawn felt the resulting heat clear down to her tingling center. When he stopped kissing her, she uttered a small cry of disappointment, but quickly recovered.

“Why did you do that?”

“I’ve wanted to kiss you for a long time. You can’t imagine how difficult it has been for me not to touch you. You deserve far better than I can offer you. My heart isn’t free. I’m not ready yet to give up my memories of Morning Mist.”

Dawn tried to turn away, but he held her captive in his embrace. She had to fight her body’s reaction to him. “Then you have no say over whom I marry.”

“I’ve been thinking about the battle that’s brewing and have begun to entertain second thoughts.”

“About what?”

“Running Elk is determined to take his people to the Little Big Horn. A battle will be devastating
to the Sioux. There will be violent retaliation. You won’t be safe here.”

“Where will I be safe?”

Shadow Walker grew thoughtful. “I don’t know. I’ll think of something.”

Dawn turned away. “Don’t bother. I’ve relied on you long enough. I’ll stay here and take my chances with one of the men courting me. Yapping Wolf seems most eager to join with me.”

“You can’t marry Yapping Wolf.”

“Why not?”

“Because I won’t let you.”

“You can’t stop me.”

He gave her a slow smile. Dawn should have known by his expression that he had something devious in mind. “It’s been over two months since we made love. You should know by now if you’re pregnant.”

She swallowed convulsively and shook her head. “Pregnant?” Oh, God, she knew so little about woman things. Her mother had never gotten around to telling her before she died. Could she be pregnant? “I … I … of course I’m not pregnant.” Lord, she certainly hoped she wasn’t.

Shadow Walker should have been relieved, but the opposite was true. What in the hell was the matter with him?

“I have to get back,” Dawn said, reaching for the waterskin. “Spring Rain will wonder why I’ve been delayed.”

“Let me help you,” Shadow Walker said, bending to dip water into the bag.

They walked back to camp together, parting at Running Elk’s lodge. Shadow Walker wanted to say more but decided this wasn’t the right time.
Perhaps he should have a word with Running Elk about Dawn. Then a small party of warriors asked him to go hunting, and he decided a hard ride was just what he needed to clear the cobwebs and Dawn’s arousing scent from his head.

“Shadow Walker is handsome, is he not?” Sun In The Face said as she joined Dawn. “He is every bit as brave and strong as Running Elk. He will make some woman a wonderful husband.”

“Shadow Walker wants no wife,” Dawn said with an abruptness that sent Sun In The Face’s eyebrows upward. “He’s made that perfectly clear on more than one occasion.”

“I think you would like to be his wife,” Sun In The Face observed. “I believe you love him very much.”

Dawn went still. Love? Did such a thing exist? What she felt for Shadow Walker was difficult to label. Billy had totally subjugated her. When freedom had come unexpectedly, she’d vowed she’d never place herself in another man’s keeping. But Shadow Walker had shown her there didn’t have to be pain between a man and woman. There could be tenderness in intimacy, and caring. And joy. Was that love? She wasn’t sure. She did know that she cared about Shadow Walker more than she had thought it possible to care for anyone.

“It matters little what I feel for Shadow Walker,” Dawn said at length. “I would not burden him.”

“Yapping Wolf and Stands Alone offered Running Elk many horses for you. They are both greatly respected by the People. Will you join with one of them?”

“I don’t know,” Dawn said truthfully.

They parted then. Dawn returned to her lodge to work on the doeskin tunic Spring Rain had given her. She was sewing beads and feathers on the butter-soft garment according to the Indian woman’s directions. Bringing the tunic into the sunshine, she sat cross-legged in front of the tipi and diligently plied her needle. A short time later a shadow fell across her and she looked up, surprised to see Yapping Wolf standing over her.

“I have been waiting to speak with you alone,” he said, dropping down beside her. “It is time we speak of our relationship. I want you beneath my blankets. I have offered Running Elk ten horses for you. I do you great honor by offering so large a number. A man’s wealth is measured by his string of horses. Stands Alone cannot offer half that number.”

“What did Running Elk say?” Dawn asked curiously.

“He said I must speak to you directly. He is not your guardian and therefore cannot speak for you.”

“I hardly know you,” Dawn demurred.

“You have been married before and are no stranger to a man’s body or his needs. I am young and lusty; I will give you fine children and provide for them. My feats of bravery have been sung around the campfire.” He pounded his chest importantly. “I am a better man than Stands Alone.”

Dawn could not deny that Yapping Wolf was a handsome man, albeit a boastful one. He was strong and tall and powerfully made. But in her opinion he couldn’t hold a candle to Shadow Walker.

“I cannot give you my answer now,” she hedged.

Yapping Wolf rose to his feet, drawing her up with him. “If you are worried that I will not please you between the blankets, let me prove myself now. I am eager to bury my mighty lance deep inside you. You are a widow; there will be no stigma if we satisfy our lust.” He tried to draw her inside the tipi but she resisted.

Dawn saw the ridge beneath the fabric of his breechclout and recoiled in alarm. “I cannot do what you wish. I need time to adjust to my new home and acquaint myself with the People before I decide upon a mate. I mean you no disrespect, Yapping Wolf, but I’m not sure I wish to marry again. Remaining a widow isn’t so bad. I understand Laughing Brook has been a widow for a very long time.”

“It is different with Laughing Brook. She is waiting to join with Shadow Walker.”

They spoke earnestly for several minutes, unaware that Shadow Walker had returned and was watching them. Running Elk stood beside him, measuring Shadow Walker’s reaction. When Shadow Walker started forward to intervene, Running Elk held him back.

“Do not interfere, brother.”

“What if Yapping Wolf hurts her?”

“Look around you. There are people all about. Yapping Wolf will not risk the tribe’s wrath by doing something foolish. He is merely following my instructions. He offered ten horses for Dawn, and I told him to take his offer to Dawn. Dawn is a widow and has the right to choose her own mate.”

“She can’t accept him. He’s not right for her.”

“I think you protest too much. I will make certain Dawn is not mistreated.”

“I’m having second thoughts about leaving Dawn with the People, unless you change your mind about traveling to the Little Big Horn in the spring.”

“I cannot do that.”

“Retaliation is bound to be swift and violent.”

“I will protect Dawn as I would my own wives and children.”

“Good intentions are not enough.”

Running Elk searched Shadow Walker’s face. “I believe your unwillingness to leave Dawn speaks of what is in your heart.”

“You’re wrong.”

“Then let her choose a mate. If you truly don’t want Dawn and wish her well, take Laughing Brook to wife. I spoke with her just today and she is more than willing.”

“Perhaps I will,” Shadow Walker said recklessly. At least Laughing Brook wouldn’t tug at his emotions. “I think I’ll go find Laughing Brook,” he said, casting a surreptitious glance at Dawn and Yapping Wolf, who were still engaged in conversation.

Running Elk smiled as Shadow Walker stalked off. He knew his friend better than Shadow Walker knew himself. Shadow Walker was more interested in Dawn than he’d admit. Running Elk recognized a jealous man when he saw one. He couldn’t wait to see what developed and thought it all great entertainment.

From the corner of her eye Dawn saw Shadow Walker approach Laughing Brook, who had just
emerged from her lodge. They spoke quietly a few moments, then Laughing Brook took his hand and led him inside her tipi. He hesitated briefly, then shrugged and followed her inside. Dawn’s heart sank. Had she been wrong all along? Was Shadow Walker more interested in the widow than he’d let on? She excused herself abruptly, having had all she could take of Yapping Wolf, and ducked inside her lodge.

Alone with Laughing Brook, Shadow Walker wondered what in the hell he was doing with her when he’d rather be with … Damn! What was he thinking?

“I saw you speaking with Running Elk,” Laughing Brook said as she sidled close to Shadow Walker. “Did he tell you I am eager to join with you?”

“You know I’m not staying,” Shadow Walker said in an effort to discourage her. “Eventually I must return to my own people.”

“Spring is many moons away. I am willing to accept your terms if you will be mine alone for as long as you remain.”

“It wouldn’t be fair to you, Laughing Brook. I can never love a woman like I did Morning Mist.”

“I can ease your body,” Laughing Brook murmured as she rubbed up against him. “At one time you sought my favors.” She reached down between their bodies to cup him beneath his breechclout. He hardened in her hand.

Shadow Walker didn’t even try to stifle the groan that rose in his throat. It had been a while since he’d had a woman, and Laughing Brook certainly knew how to arouse him.

They dropped to the sleeping mat in mutual
consent, limbs entwined as Laughing Brook clutched him in almost desperate need. Her legs fell open to better accommodate him. When he hesitated, she clawed at him.

“Please,” she whimpered, arching up against him.

Shadow Walker felt his desire shriveling and spit out a curse. At a time like this he should be thinking of Laughing Brook and her lush charms instead of dreaming of Dawn’s slim body. This was a mistake. He wanted to prove to himself that any woman could assuage his lust, but all he’d proven was how wrong he’d been. Somehow Dawn had gotten under his skin.

“I’m sorry, Laughing Brook,” Shadow Walker said as he untangled himself from her clinging limbs. “This is a mistake.”

“It wasn’t always a mistake,” Laughing Brook said, pouting. “You’ve taken my body many times and enjoyed it.”

“That was also a mistake. I used you, knowing I would never take another wife.”

She laughed harshly. “Now you are talking like a White man. I am a widow. It is my lot in life to be used by the single men of the tribe. It is the way of things. But none made my heart sing like you do.”

“I’m sorry, Laughing Brook,” he repeated.

She stared at him through narrowed lids. “It’s that half-breed, isn’t it? I’ve seen how you look at her. If you want her you should join with her instead of denying what you feel.”

“You’re wrong,” Shadow Walker denied.
“Would I bring Dawn to Running Elk if I wanted her myself?”

Somewhat mollified by his words, Laughing Brook decided to bide her time. Shadow Walker was a lusty man. Sooner or later he would come to her.

Shadow Walker left the tipi in a contemplative mood. Being unable to couple with Laughing Brook had been discouraging. He couldn’t ever recall having had that problem before. He left Laughing Brook’s lodge and walked down to the stream where he could be alone to think.

Dawn hummed to herself as she picked the last of the berries growing in a thicket Spring Rain had pointed out that morning when they’d come down to the stream to bathe. The day had turned warm after a frosty night, and Dawn wondered if it was to be their last warm day before winter set in.

This trip to the stream to pick berries had a dual purpose. Not only was she fond of the succulent fruits but she needed time alone to think. Yapping Wolf’s arrogance had been upsetting. She knew that Indians counted their worth in the number of horses they owned, but Yapping Wolf’s wealth did not impress her. She felt nothing for the warrior. If she had to accept anyone it would be Stands Alone, whose gentle nature appealed more to her. But neither man excited her as Shadow Walker did.

Moving from bush to bush, she tried not to dwell on Shadow Walker and what he was doing with Laughing Brook. Was he making love to her
at this very minute? Dawn wondered, willing the ache in her heart away.

Shadow Walker sat on a fallen log, searching his brain for answers that were not forthcoming. Reverting to his Indian identity felt comfortable, yet he knew it was only temporary. His sojourn with the People would end come spring. He seriously doubted he’d ever return to the wilderness again as Shadow Walker. If Running Elk joined Crazy Horse at the Little Big Horn and a battle ensued, it would be the end of the Indian way of life as he knew it. Then his thoughts turned abruptly to Dawn. How could he leave her to face danger alone? What choice did he have?

Suddenly he became aware of a noise behind him, and his attention sharpened. One had to be careful these days. Danger lurked around every corner. He rose cautiously and concealed himself behind a thicket of shrubbery. He spied Dawn bending over a berry patch, a basket half filled with ripe berries at her feet. Shadow Walker was torn. Should he leave as silently as he’d appeared or make his presence known? The choice was taken from him when Dawn sensed his presence and grew still.

Dawn knew it wasn’t a wild animal, for she felt no danger. Nevertheless, the back of her neck tingled with awareness and her heart thudded against her breast. She knew who it was before she turned in his direction. She spoke his name aloud.