Shadow Theatre (17 page)

"Ya-lah, but some lowly soldier was sent to light the fire under the girl's
legs, right? Maybe this was the chap. Could be-ab?"

"What about those other soldiers who participated in the massacres?
Could be one of them also."

"Oh, ya-ah?"

"Eh, how come these soldiers when they appear never have blood on their
uniforms? That's what I want to know."

You see how conversations eventually went off track? And
in another story, can you believe? The fellow was wearing a
business suit! Hiding behind the sago in the graveyard, dressed
in a business suit! Betul-betul gila. Why would a ghost wearing
a suit be gallivanting about in the graveyard?

"Dia was watching-lah."

"Watching what?"

"T'ak tabu-lab what he was looking for, but he could have been spying
on us anyway, right?"

"Maybe he wasn't a ghost. Maybe he was a dirty old man."

"Ya-ah, maybe-ab? Alamak."

That's two versions of the story only. Other so-called witnesses couldn't even remember whether the fellow was a man or
a woman. Can you believe? In this third version, there was some
speculation that it could be the same lady that the bus drivers
used to see, you know that old story. The one about how after
midnight, sometimes there would be one old lady waiting at the
bus stop outside the graveyard.

But she hadn't been seen in years, okay? (Of course every
bus driver knew not to stop to pick her up. Some didn't even
dare to look in the rearview mirror, not wanting to see that
there was no one there.)

No use asking Bernadette about this. She's already said she
saw nothing. And I can tell you, she was already on her way
home, so no wonder. Supposedly, the fellow was hiding in the trees almost directly across from Ying Ying Coleman's house.
You know that's not where Bernadette's house is. No need to ask
her again-lah.

A' c;0PAI. I)IIARMA. if you can catch him on one of his better days. He was the first one to tell me. I was taking out the
rubbish bag that night, and he happened to be outside. He was
watering his fruit trees, since he didn't do it in the morning.
(Rose still doesn't know he once proposed to me, okay? Me,
imagine. It's true. Gopal Dharma proposed to me, back when he
and I were both still young. My Hock Siew wasn't in the picture, yet. That's how long ago I mean. Of course, it shocked me
when he did it. Nowadays, intermarriages are more common,
but in those days? Can you imagine? And we were not really
boyfriend and girlfriend, okay? Don't ask Gopal about this.
He'll tell you something different, but I never saw it that way. It
was a bit awkward-lah, when Hock Siew and I got married, and
then when Gopal bought the house right next door to us, I
thought, Alamak, now what? But it turned out to be nothing,
okay? Maybe that was the only house available at the time-lah,
for the price he could afford. I mean, in this area. I can understand trying to stay in this neighborhood. We grew up around
here, bukan? That's why Hock Siew and I bought this house. I
didn't feel like moving to another area, and my Hock Siew, he
loved me so much, even though he himself wasn't from around
here, he let me have my way.)

"Good evening, Helena," Gopal started off. He was always
formal like that.

"Good evening," I responded. I didn't stop, okay? But when
I reached the dustbin, I heard him ask, "How are you feeling?"
and his tone of concern was what made me pause-lah. So I didn't
answer right away, because I was wondering why he was asking
me that.

"1 saw you this morning," he went on. "In the market. You
didn't see me waving to you?"

"No, I didn't see you," I said to him, over my shoulder. I had
no idea what he was talking about, okay? But over the years,
had made it a habit not to linger-lah, where he was concerned.
Don't tempt fate, bukan? So I just put the rubbish bag in the
dustbin and closed the lid, and then I was going to walk straight
back into the house.

"I was going to ask if you wanted a lift home, but you disappeared so fast."

"Oh," I said, as I turned around. No need to be rude-lah, so
I smiled at him through the fence. 'Thanks, but that's my morning exercise, you know." Could be, that was a mistake, because
of course, he smiled back.

"Oh, then I would have asked if I could walk with you, just
to share your company," he said.

Can you imagine? Flirting with one old hag like me? Of
course, my heart leapt a bit, but a bit only, and that's the truth.
What to do? You take a man, you take a woman, what can you
expect? You see how handsome Gopal Dharma is, even today?
Imagine when we were young. I mean, before everything else. I
tell you, in his heyday, he was more dashing than that boy Ivan,
okay? So why didn't I go for him? That's what you want to
know-lah. Looks aren't everything. Who can live on love and
fresh air only? I'm not saying I was ever in love with him. As I've
already said, we were not boyfriend and girlfriend. Passion and
love are not the same thing, you know. And I never regretted
marrying my Hock Siew, okay? Never.

"You seemed a bit worried, this morning," Gopal went on.
"Were you worried about something?" He was finished with his
watering, you know, and now he was rolling up the hose and
hanging it over the tap at the side of his house. That's why I
thought it was okay-lah for me to chitchat a bit. Because surely,
there were other things he had to do, his pupils' homework to mark, all that. So I thought for sure we would end up talking for
a few minutes only.

"No-lah, I wasn't really worried," I said. 'Just the heat." Of
course, I wasn't going to bring up the topic of Auntie Coco's sister with him, whether or not he knew anything about it.
Winifred Teo didn't say anything about him being outside, and
neither did Bernadette.

"Yes, it's getting worse," he said. He didn't come over to the
fence, okay? Instead, he was walking to his front door, and then,
he stood there a while, with one foot on the cement step, as if
he couldn't decide-lah whether to go inside or not. I myself was
at my own front door already.

"Good-night," I said. Obviously, both of us were ready to go
inside, even though he was hesitating a bit.

"Good-night," he said. But he didn't move, okay?

"Is there something you want to ask me?" Don't ask why I
said that. Until today, I still don't know.

Of course, he looked at me quite strangely. He wasn't
expecting me to ask him that, bukan? And my heart, I tell you.
Flapping here and there, like a wild hen waking up and finding
itself in a cage. Ah, but luckily he didn't ask what I thought he
was going to ask. He just said, "Did you hear about that old
chap people around here have been seeing?"

"What old chap?" I said, because remember, I hadn't heard
about the fellow yet at the time.

"The beggar in the graveyard. Be careful when you go out
alone, you know? I think the children saw him first. They're
always taking that short cut. You haven't heard? It seems he was
seen again this afternoon."

Don't ask how Gopal could have managed to find out before
me. I was wondering about this myself. 'This afternoon, when?"
I asked him. (Don't get me wrong. We didn't chat like this as a
habit, okay? What I mean is, first of all, Gopal was not a gossipper. Second, as I've said, usually, I wouldn't linger around him.)

"Oh, around five, between five and six, something like that.
That's what I've heard. It seems he was hiding behind the trees,
but people saw him from their windows. It must be the same
chap. Probably some harmless vagabond, I suppose, but just to
be safe, I've reported it to the police. I don't know if they're
going to do anything."

Do what? Definitely, I couldn't imagine our police spending
their time searching the graveyard for one old beggar. But of
course I didn't say so out loud. I just asked, "Which children saw
him2"

But that, Gopal didn't know. He said he had heard about it
only. I'm sure he was surprised I didn't know anything, but of
course, he had enough tact not to show it. Ah, so anyway, that's
all we said to each other. Nothing personal, okay?

So that's how I found out about the fellow-lah. Of course,
later when Rose came home and then, finally, I got a chance to
talk to her, I asked her about him also. But as it turned out, she
also hadn't heard anything. You see-lah how hard it was to put
two and two together. Right or not?

HEN THE FIRST breeze came, rushing through the
lalang like a thief running, touching inside me like stiff
lace, here and here and here, that was when I knew. Chilly air
in my head, even though Che' Halimah had prepared me to see
the lady. This time she will come with angels, tahu. Don't run
when you feel the cold air." But I was afraid. At first I thought,
how not to get up and run, even though Che' Halimah had
advised me not to do that? My heart banging when the long
grass started moving, scraping in the dark like the sharp blades
of parangs. But Che' Halimah, she needed at least four of the
star flowers. No, don't dig them up before the sun goes down. Otherwise, the flowers will rot." They were the last things on
the list, and after one whole week of looking for all the plants
she needed, finally, I would be done.

So I made myself stay.

Like a thief running, like hands and feet burrowing through
the long sharp stalks, that breeze came, over there to my left
while I was digging. I could see the lalang dancing, to and fro
near the wall of the yellow shrine, the one where long time ago,
Che' Halimah was telling Bettina to bury the baby.

Above my head, leaves blocking away the sky, blackest
black like burnt paper, and everywhere, the milky sweetness of
the bunga kubur. Frangipani, Abdul would say, with his perfect
English pronunciation. My brother Abdul, his English getting
better and better.

And Bapa also was getting better, able to sit up in the hospital bed already.

So I continued digging, to pay what I owed, while the
lalang swayed and shook, over where the lady came through.

"Al Y M I R s 1: R V I c' F:." Those were his first words, the one who
stayed, his voice like warm rain. I hadn't been watching. I was
kneeling there, concentrating on loosening the star flowers slowly
so as not to break their roots, and suddenly he was behind me.
Suddenly, I was turning, my banging heart turning against my will.
The black leaves crumpling the sky, the lalang rumbling like sea
waves along the shore, while his voice fell on my neck, turning me.

So old his face was. It was the first thing I noticed, and then
I saw the petals floating between us. Blue petals with brown
streaks, and yellow petals, and red petals. Then I saw a bowl,
where someone's hand was dipping in. She had painted fingernails, and one diamond wedding ring.

"Do you remember me?" he asked. And the bowl and the
petals, they disappeared.

Che' Halimah had said to me, "Don't be afraid of the lady,"
but nothing about, "One of them will speak to you." Nothing
about what to say.