Shadow on the Highway (4 page)

He was coaxing me, holding me by the elbow, and I knew how it worked with Ralph. He flattered people – always got his own way, he had a knack of smoothing everything over so it looked all spick and span when really it was all confusion underneath. He used the same tone when he’d done something bad and wanted to hide it.

‘Remember when Mother took you round the village?’

I cringed. It was the most humiliating experience of my life. Mother thought if people could see how bright and willing I was, how good with my letters, that they’d take me on. Door to door we went, looking for an apprenticeship, or any sort of work, with Mother looking more desperate every minute. Every place we stopped they looked me up and down doubtfully, and every villager shook her head, until by the end I was so hunched and sullen that nobody would even look twice. I could have borne it all, except for their pity – that I could not endure.

Ralph squeezed my hand. ‘It’s hard for Mother with the two little ones since Father was killed. She despaired when nobody would give you a chance. And you wouldn’t do that to her would you? Give up at the first try?’

I pictured the hopeful look on Mother’s face, when we’d tried to find work, and the thought of it tugged at my heart. It was my fault we had lost everything and I just couldn’t bear to think of failing her again. Ralph was right. It wouldn’t be fair to give up so soon. After all, nobody else had ever offered me any sort of work.

I squared my chin and took a deep breath. ‘But I didn’t ask for leave.’

‘A month’s trial, that’s what’s usual,’ Ralph said.

‘What will they say, though when I go back?’

‘Don’t worry. I’ll talk them round.’ He squeezed my arm and I believed him. Things never looked so bad when my big brother was there. Before I knew it we were on the road and Ralph was talking, to keep me from thinking. He knew I had to keep watching his face and hands in case I missed anything. ‘It will only be for a while anyway. In a few years we’ll have our new Digger community running, and you can join with us. Once the trouble’s died down. And I’m telling you, there’s bound to be trouble.’ It sounded as though he relished it.

‘Wait.’ I was breathless trying to keep up with his stride and to read his words as we walked. We stopped then and leaned up against a wall. ‘Tell me,’ I said. ‘Tell me again. I didn’t understand it all. What trouble?’

‘Some of us are settling on common land, ours by right. They call us the Diggers, because we’ll dig the land ourselves and make our own living in service to no-one.’

‘What land? You don’t own any land, do you?’

‘This land.’ He stamped his feet up and down in the grass. ‘God’s land. We’ll plough the common land that belongs to us all. Cultivate it and live from it. People have already tried it in Wycombe and in Iver, led by a man called Winstanley. I’m telling you, it’s the only way forward. Jacob and I are going to see Winstanley next week.’

‘But taking common land – doesn’t that make you as bad as them? As bad as the landlord who takes our best grain, as bad as the Fanshawes?’

‘No, you don’t understand. Any of us can work it, that’s the point. It’s common land, for the common people.’ He ran his hand through his hair, opened his eyes wide and spread out his arms as if he would blast me away with his idea. ‘It belongs to us all, every man whatever his position in life. There’ll be no buying or selling, no profiteering. Each man can take what he needs. Everything will be held in common.’

No buying or selling? I took a step back. I couldn’t imagine it, that people could survive that way. Just the idea was frightening. How would they get soap, or linen, or laces if they didn’t buy them? I pulled up a grass stalk, sucked on the sappy root. ‘I can’t think it will go down well with the Sheriff. Who will he tithe, if not us?’

Ralph shook his head at me in frustration. ‘Look, it’s a new idea, see? It’s simple. We just share everything, work together for the common good. If someone has flour and another needs it, they can just help themselves. Won’t that be fine! They tried it on St George’s Hill, Winstanley’s men, but folk came and fired their houses. But fast as they tread us down we spring up again, like the corn.’

‘And what about Jacob, is he for it?’

‘He’s right behind it.’

I let this sink in. If Jacob believed in it, it couldn’t be all bad.

Ralph strode about, warming
to his theme. ‘There’s about twenty of us, mostly young folk, but some older ones too that fought in the last skirmish for Parliament, ones that are forward-thinking. We’re after building a new world. What’s the point of Father dead on some field somewhere and all his fighting for nothing? If we don’t take our land now, after fighting for it, what kind of men are we?’

I missed my father, though I could barely remember him, he’d been at war so often. I could remember the smell of him, the feeling of being held safe in his arms. But now he was lost. We’d heard reports of his death from his regiment.

I dragged my thoughts back to the conversation. ‘But what about those who graze their sheep on the common land? Won’t they object?’ I said.

‘Oh don’t throw problems at it b
efore it’s begun.’ Ralph sighed. ‘They can still use it just the same. There’s plenty of room for us all.’

‘Can I come with you then, to the common, to see for myself?’

‘See what they say at the house, they might not let you have the day off.’

His face told me he didn’t want me there with his friends. I sighed. I’d probably do something stupid there, too. I should go back to Markyate Manor and Lady Katherine, try and do something right for once, make amends for the trouble I’d caused everyone. And I wanted to prove Elizabeth wrong. I’d see her laugh on the other side of her face when I’d earned enough to buy that plot of land for Mother.

Ralph set off ahead and I watched his purposeful strides as he loped along. Other men were jealous of Ralph’s radiant good looks, the way he drew the women’s eyes, and wherever he went, sure enough, trouble always followed. The Diggers was another of his fads, I knew, and it sounded like robbery to me, taking land that wasn’t yours without anyone’s say-so. My stomach pitched with fear for him. Anyone could see it was an idea that would find no favour with either Cromwell or the King. It could even be treason.

4. Rule of Thumb

Mistress Binch was drawing water from the well. She stood up from cranking, watching us approach, hands on hips, face black as a storm cloud. And all the while my pace became slower, as I hid behind Ralph.

When we were close enough to h
ear she shouted, ‘You needn’t think you’re coming back. Not after letting us down like that.’

Ralph smiled his winning smile at her. ‘She just got a bit scared, it being her first day. She’s sorry for causing any trouble, aren’t you, Abi?’

I managed a nod.

Mistress Binch gabbled on. I caught the tail-end of the words, ‘
… someone reliable. I’ve got a party of noblemen and his Lordship coming tomorrow, and only me to get things done.’

Ralph just waited until she seemed to have run out of things to say. He smiled long and slow. ‘Then you’ll be wanting the extra help, and she’s willing. She just needs to get used to you. It takes her time to get to see how you form the words, then she’ll have no trouble reading you.’

Mistress Binch took a big breath as though she was going to say a lot. ‘I don’t know–’

‘Now, where do you want it?’ Ralph interrupted, picking up one of the pails that was brimming with water and indicating with his head for me to take the other.

‘The scullery. Now wait a minute –’

Ralph was already moving towards the house. I followed, trying not to slop water over the edge. As we went up to the back door I caught sight of a figure at the window, a figure that retreated when it saw me look. Lady Katherine. I’d know her even from twenty paces, by the glint of her copper hair.

By the time we were indoors Ralph was conversing pleasantly with Mistress Binch, admiring two new loaves steaming on the griddle. Vegetables clagged with earth lay on the table, so I rolled up my sleeves. If I was going to stay, I’d better start and look useful. I took a basin and a brush and began to scrub. A few moments later Ralph tapped me on the arm to take his leave. He had a slice of warm bread in one hand, but we embraced and I saw Mistress Binch’s face soften a little before it returned to its customary ill-temper.

*

Mistress Binch kept me busy the rest of the day with cleaning and chopping, and with plucking two geese for the next day’s feast. There was so much to do I could hardly catch a breath. I scurried up and down corridors mopping and polishing, turning beds and beating drapes. So I did not set eyes on Lady Katherine until darkness fell.

After I’d set down the supper tray, Lady Katherine said, ‘Who was that with you today, carrying a pail into the house? Nobody told me we had taken on any other servants.’

‘My brother, milady.’ I was reluctant to say more about why he was there.

‘But he does not work here.’

‘No milady. He’s a farmer.’ I did not tell her he used to be a gentleman.

‘And where is that?’ She toyed with the spoon, did not eat.

‘In Wheathamstead village, milady, close by. We plough four acres.’

‘He’s very tall. And he has not your colouring.’

‘He’s got hair like my father. I take after Mother.’

‘So what had he come for?’

‘He came to see if I was settling in, m’lady, and he helped Mistress Binch bring in the water.’ I blenched at this white lie, but could think of nothing else to say.

She raised her eyebrows as if the answer surprised her. ‘Then he must be a kind young man to take the trouble. I’d like to meet him. Next time he calls, you will introduce us. Mistress Binch says we need more help on the estate with all our men away at the Wars, and I might be able to persuade Grice to take him on.’

‘Yes milady.’ She could go whistle. I wasn’t bringing Ralph in here. He thought little enough of the Royalists, and I could not imagine him even in the same room as Lady Katherine. He was never good with authority, always had to kick up against it. I turned away to fix the fire then, though I could sense her watching me still, by the hairs that prickled up on the back of my neck, as though she could read my thoughts.

*

That night I must have slept but it was still dark when I woke, my eyes searching desperately for any spark of light. My body seemed to hear things my ears did not. A glint of a star at the window drew me there and I put my face to the thick pane of glass. Along the drive there were horses approaching. Men with pikes, a trundle cart. Their black shapes flooded together then separated. I did not know if they were roundheads or cavaliers, but I did know I did not want to be alone.

I lit a taper with shaking fingers and hurried down to shake Lady Katherine, who struggled to sit up in bed, clutching the sheets, her eyes wide. There was still a candle burning on her table and the fire was a red glow in the hearth.

‘What’s the matter?’

‘Men, m’lady. Men and horses.’

She jumped out of bed and went to the window. ‘It’s my Lord. Quick, barricade the door.’

We dragged the large trunk across the entrance and locked the other door with a key. Lady Katherine obviously did not want me to go downstairs to open up to him, as a good servant should.

‘He’s hammering at the front door,’ she said, stock still, her hand pressed to the neck of her nightgown. In the half-light I could not tell if she was angry or afraid.

I started towards the door, but she grabbed me by my apron tail. ‘No.’

Through my feet I felt a faint vibration. ‘He’s knocking,’ I said. ‘But if I don’t go, I expect Mistress Binch will let them in.’

I could hear nothing, but saw my mistress startle and jump. ‘They’re in,’ she said. ‘They didn’t wait. Just like last time. They’ve broken a window. They’ve been fighting so long, so much blood and battle, nothing matters to them.
They can’t be civilised men anymore.’

I saw her bit
e her lip then look to the door. ‘Help me,’ she said.

The house was full of odd vibrations, like footsteps, scuffling. Lady Katherine hurried to push against the trunk that held the door shut. I saw the door rattle and shiver in the jamb. The latch started to move up and down. Quick as a wink I grabbed the candle snuffer from the side table and pushed it into the hole under the tongue of the latch. Lady Katherine was surprisingly strong, she shoved on the trunk with all her might, and I held the snuffer pressed tight, our eyes locked silently on each other. Finally the movement of the door ceased.

Her green eyes flicked from side to side as she listened. ‘They’ve gone back downstairs,’ she mouthed. ‘My stepfather has called for liquor and Mistress Binch is fetching them wine from the cellar.’

I nodded. She put her hand to her lips, in a gesture that we should be quiet.

She pulled the bolster and pillows from her bed, laid them out on the floor. She pointed to it, and I understood that was to be my bed that night.

She climbed back onto hers, but did not lie down. She clung on to the sheets, listening to what was happening below. I stared up at the ceiling, where cobwebs wavered in the moonlight. I could not sleep for fear. My heart jangled in my chest, I was ready to leap and run.

Curse Ralph. It was his fault I was back in this bedlam house with its crazy mistress and thuggish lord, who’d break into his own house, and whose own family barred the door against him. I thought of the weapons stashed in the room below. If only I’d thought to pick up a knife.

Right until the dawn we tossed and turned. When the ligh
t was enough to see by, I stood and began to lay out her clothes. They smelt of the cinnamon and rose that she used to sweeten them. As I shook out her skirts on the foot of the bed she said, ‘The birds are singing. Mistress Binch will be in the kitchen soon. We’d better wait a while before we go down.’

‘Very good, milady.’

‘When they come home after fighting it’s best to leave them to become sober. My stepfather is no respecter of women, even at the best of times. To him I am simply my fortune, nothing more.’

‘What about your husband? Will he not look to you?’

‘That squab? No. He is barely a man. Thomas does whatever my stepfather tells him to do. Sir Simon cheated my mother out of her fortune, and now he’d cheat me by marrying me off to his nephew. He arranged our marriage when I was only fourteen. Do you know what day he chose for our wedding? April Fool’s Day. What a jest.’

‘Does Thomas treat you badly?’ I thought of her words on the first night.

‘He does not mean to. But he is a milksop. Too frightened of my stepfather to do anything but bleat. Come, you may dress me now.’

*

We went down to the great chamber together. Milady’s eyes were dark-shadowed from lack of sleep, but she entered the room proudly with her head up and shoulders back. For the first time I felt sorry for her, entering this room where every man turned to stare.

A sea of eyes and beards met us. About fifteen cavaliers, in the King’s livery, but dirty, their swords lying about their feet. The smell of them all packed so close together was like an over-ripe cheese. They were scraping out their bowls and downing ale from a motley collection of tankards.

Lady Katherine dipped a curtsey to a pale young man with long drooping curls and he bade her sit beside him. That must be Thomas, her husband. The older man on his other side ignored her, his florid red face almost hidden by supping from his bowl. From his position at the head of the table I guessed he was Sir Simon. I couldn’t help a twinge of disappointment. They were ugly, coarse-looking men.

The other soldiers watched Lady Katherine a moment, and some laughed and made obscene gestures at me, before going back to their bowls of gruel. I hastened red-faced to the kitchen to find Mistress Binch boiling eggs in a big pan. She let out a stream of angry words, and thrust a basket of bread at me. I hurried to deliver it to the table.

From then on I was kept busy fetching and carrying and avoiding men’s paws until the men took to horse again with a great clatter. The great chamber was suddenly empty, but there was ale swabbed on the table and bread and mutton-grease trodden over the floor. So no need to wonder how my morning would be spent. I ruefully collected the trenchers and plates, the knives and spoons, and began the washing.

In the course of the morning I learnt from Mistress Binch that Sir Simon and the Cavaliers had taken the weapons from the store-room and gone on to meet with the mysterious Grice at Luton town. They were making plans to join the King if he had been able to gather a bigger army in Scotland and move it south against Cromwell’s New Model Army.

‘Why do you think Grice wanted a deaf girl, heh?’ Mistress Binch said. ‘Because the Fanshawes are for the King, and we don’t want you tittle-tattling back to the village about all the King’s affairs, that’s why.’

I ignored her and scrubbed harder at the plates.

*

Sir Thomas Fanshawe and Sir Simon, Lady Katherine’s stepfather
, hadn’t been at all what I’d imagined gentlemen to be before I came to the Manor; I’d thought they would be quiet and dignified, not the uncouth ruffians I’d seen at the morning table. So I was nervous about serving them the evening meal.

When I went up
to dress Lady Katherine she was fidgety whilst I plaited her hair into a knot at her nape and dressed her side-curls.

‘Do you ever wish you had a different life, Chaplin?’ she said.

‘No, milady.’

She watched me tie on her sleeves. ‘Liar. All servants wish they were born more highly.’

I pretended not to hear and finished her laces into a bow with a hard tug.

‘I hate this pomp and show.’ Lady Katherine brushed down her blue velvet skirt impatiently. ‘What is it for?’ Then, catching me staring
she said, ‘My stepfather wants to show Aunt Ann that he has me under his thumb. That I am an obedient wife to his cowardly son. I hate them both. And now they allow me only one manservant of my stepfather’s choosing and a single maid. So I have Grice who is as dark and gloomy as the devil, and you, whom no-one else will have.’

I did not answer her, though plenty came to mind, but tied on the other sleeve.

‘Did you hear me? Don’t you care? I have just insulted you and you say nothing?’

‘It is not my place, milady. Besides, there is nothing to say.’

‘Tush.’ She sighed. ‘I did not mean it. I am just so tired of it all. I wish I was a servant, free to come and go where I please. I have seen only the inside of these walls for a whole year. Thank goodness they left me Blaze. I think I would go mad if I couldn’t ride, but I can only ride out at night or where I won’t be seen. If my stepfather found out about it he would put a stop to my riding unchaperoned, so I don’t tell him. But sometimes I long for a change,’ she said wistfully. ‘I’d give anything to ride out in the sunshine, go to market, see some real life.’

I spoke quietly, ‘If you would loan me a horse, I could chaperone you.’

‘You? Can you ride?’

‘My brother taught me.’

‘Ah, your brother.’ She stopped talking and seemed to think a moment, but then she threw her looking-glass down on the bed and said, ‘I still could not ride out to the town with you.’

I turned away stiffly. She obviously did not think me a good enough servant to be seen at her side.