Shadow of Doubt (A Kali O'Brien legal mystery) (38 page)

Benson lowered his gaze again and looked at me. “Your father was a good man, an honest man, but he lacked passion and imagination. Or at least he lacked the ability to communicate those qualities. And your mother was just the opposite — high-spirited, impulsive, temperamental. She used to complain that he never reached out to her, never sought to look into her soul, never, in some sense, really wanted her. Although, of course, he did.”

“And you,” I said, “had passion and imagination?”

I didn’t intend for the words to carry reproach, although I’m sure that’s what Benson heard. His jaw tensed, and his eyes clouded over. “I loved her, and I think that, to a degree, she loved me. But had I been her husband, I doubt that I’d have made her any happier than your father did. I’m not sure, in truth, that any man could have.”

We were silent a moment, each lost in our own thoughts. Finally, I asked, “If the accident didn’t precipitate her suicide, what did?”

Benson hesitated. “She was pregnant. She’d just found out and had come to tell me. The accident happened on the way home.” He cleared his throat, looked die other way. “She was pregnant, and she didn’t know who the father was. The accident may have contributed in some way, but mostly it was guilt and despair. She felt suddenly the weight of her sins. It was a heavy burden.”

I found my eyes were wet.

“I’m sorry, Kali. I loved her, and in the end that wasn’t enough. Your father loved her, too. Neither of us were able to give her what she wanted. And neither of us were able to save her.”

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I called Tom to come pick me up. And then I called Jannine to tell her the news — all charges against her were being dropped. While I waited for Tom, out front under the vast velvet sky, I thought about love and happiness, and how it happened that one did not always follow the other. In fact, during this last week I’d glimpsed enough of the rough underside of love to make me wonder if it wasn’t an overrated phenomenon.

I didn’t have a chance to pursue the thought because Tom pulled up just then. Record time. He must not only have broken die speed limit, but thoroughly shattered it.

He got out of the car and greeted me with a loopy grin. “You sure have a knack for finding trouble,” he said.

“Actually, I lead a very dull life.”

He looked me over from head to toe, checking out the new scrapes and bruises. “Could have fooled me.” He opened die door and helped me into the car. “Do I get the first scoop on this story?”

“Depends on what you’re offering in return.”

Tom raised an eyebrow in an exaggerated leer.

“Not that. I was thinking more along the lines of food.”

“Oh.” His face fell. “Well, I can probably manage that, too. How does pizza sound?”

“If you throw in a bottle of wine, I’ll give you an exclusive.”

“Deal,” he told me, and leaned over to seal it with a kiss.

A warm, wonderful kiss that made me think once again about love and happiness. Only my thoughts this time around were very much brighter.

About the Author

Jonnie Jacobs is the bestselling author of thirteen mystery and suspense novels, including the most recently released
Paradise Falls
. A former practicing attorney and the mother of two grown sons, she lives in northern
California
with her husband.
 
Email her at [email protected] or visit her on the web at http://www.jonniejacobs.com.

Books by Jonnie Jacobs

Kali O'Brien Novels of Legal Suspense

SHADOW OF DOUBT

EVIDENCE OF GUILT

MOTION TO DISMISS

WITNESS FOR THE DEFENSE

COLD JUSTICE

INTENT TO HARM

THE NEXT VICTIM

The Kate Austen Mysteries

MURDER AMONG NEIGHBORS

MURDER AMONG FRIENDS

MURDER AMONG US

MURDER AMONG STRANGERS

Non-series books

THE ONLY SUSPECT

PARADISE FALLS