Shadow of a Life (12 page)

The young pair finished their errands
and returned to the wagon. The journey back to the Goodwin home was
filled with pleasant conversation about nothing of great
importance, but something had changed in the air, and there was
longing in every word they spoke to each other. The trip came to a
close too quickly in both of their minds. Nick reached up to help
Sophia down from the wagon and let her hand linger in his longer
than necessary, giving it a little squeeze before he released it.
From that moment on she knew that her heart could never belong to
anyone else as long as she lived.

CHAPTER 9

Winter of 1887-1888

Virginia

T
he day of the
Mist Seeker’s
departure was upon them and Sophia held back tears
as they prepared to say their goodbyes. It would be at least a few
months before she saw Nick or her father again. Even though the
goodbyes were imminent, the morning chores still had to be done and
Sophia found herself down at the family well once again filling the
water buckets. The air was crisp and she could see her breath as
she worked to haul the buckets up from the icy trough, trying
desperately to keep her shawl from falling off her shoulders as she
did so.

“
You really should let me do
that for you.”

Surprised, she turned to find Nick
standing behind her at the well. Even though she was used to his
startling beauty, the sight of him there made her breath catch in
her throat. He took a step toward her and took her hand in his. Her
legs wobbled and she didn’t know if she would be able to remain
standing.

“
Sophia,” he said in the
gentlest of ways. “I wanted you to have something. I know your
birthday will be next week after we are gone, so I have no choice
but to give you your present early.”

He reached into his pocket and pulled
out a beautiful gold chain with a small rose-shaped pendant. Her
heart fluttered as his fingers slowly glided around her neck to
fasten the necklace in back.

“
This was my mother’s and I
want you to have it, Sophia.”

“
Oh, Nick. I can’t accept
this. You should keep it. I’m sure you don’t have many mementos of
your mother left.”

“
Maybe, but I want to give
you something that will assure you will still be here when I get
back.”

Sophia couldn’t believe her ears. Even
in her wildest dreams she hadn’t dared to believe that Nick might
feel the way about her that she did about him. He cupped his hands
around her face, caressing her cheeks, and slowly lowered his head
nearer to hers. She could feel his warm breath on her and just when
she thought she couldn’t stand it any longer, he softly touched his
lips to hers for the briefest of seconds. Then he turned, picked up
the water yoke, and quickly walked away. It was a long time before
Sophia could compose herself. She couldn’t seem to stop the silent
tears of joy from streaming down her face.

*****

Just as Sophia had expected,
her mother kept her busy with chores while the
Mist Seeker
was at sea. She usually
would have dreaded not having time to herself, but Sophia was
actually a little grateful. She was afraid if she didn’t stay busy
she would fall apart from the pain of missing Nick. Her birthday
came and went and she found that being seventeen made her feel much
older than she had only a few short months before.

Sophia and Elsa were invited to the
nearby home of Charles and Elenora Mason to share in the relatively
new tradition of Thanksgiving. They had a wonderful feast and
Sophia found that she could actually smile and be happy. Without
her father around, she and her mother were getting along better
than usual, but it was nice to have someone other than Elsa to talk
to and to break up the monotony of the increasingly colder
days.

Unfortunately, after they dined with
the Mason family her mother couldn’t stop talking about their son,
Michael, and how he would be such a good match for
Sophia.

“
Michael is a strong man
that knows how to work hard, Sophia. Besides, look at the land he
already owns and how much he will own as soon as his parents die,”
Elsa explained one December morning.

Michael had to be nearing forty years
old and the idea of being paired with him sent shivers up Sophia’s
spine. He was an unusually large man and something about him made
her feel uncomfortable, as if evil poured out of him in some unseen
way.

“
Mother, he barely spoke
five words the entire time we were visiting and that was to grunt
something about wanting more food passed down the table. I can’t be
with a man who doesn’t know how to carry on a conversation,” Sophia
complained.

“
But Sophia, dear, a girl in
your situation is never going to find anyone better,” Elsa snapped,
ending their chat as she stomped out of the room.

*****

For Christmas, Elsa and
Sophia stayed at home. Her mother wasn’t a particularly festive
person nor was she one to celebrate God, but Sophia loved the
excitement and joy that flooded out of everyone else during the
holiday season. Her parents had never joined in the tradition of
decorating a Christmas tree—that would just be absurd—but Sophia
strung popped corn onto string and draped it around the house with
little red bows fastened in the corners. She started sewing and
mending for the ladies in town and it felt nice to have some money
of her own that had been earned
honestly
. Her parents weren’t exactly
destitute, but they didn’t spend much of their money on her. Sophia
usually inherited Elsa’s clothes when she became bored with them
and she did her best to liven them up by adding bows and ribbons
and other homemade accessories.

That is why Sophia was so surprised to
find a package with her name on it, wrapped in brown paper, sitting
on the kitchen table on Christmas morning. Inside, Sophia found a
beautiful new burgundy dress with delicate white lace at the throat
and wrists. She was speechless for some time and couldn’t stop
running her hands over the silky material.

“
Oh, Mother. It’s beautiful.
Thank you.” Sophia gushed when Elsa walked into the
room.

Elsa’s usually hard face softened. “I
didn’t have much money growin’ up. And I never got nothin’ new
until I met your pa. I guess we haven’t been good at gettin’ nice
things for you. I saw this in a store window and thought you might
like it.”

Sophia gave Elsa a hug. She couldn’t
remember the last time they had done that. It felt awkward and a
little forced, but it needed to be done.

Elsa, unable to handle the physical
contact pulled away first. “Come now. No need to get carried away.
Our grandkids will be better off if their mother looks
nice.”

Sophia looked at Elsa in surprise.
“Grandkids? I’ve never heard you say that word before.” Sophia
paused, continuing to finger the silky material of the dress.
“Mother, why did you and Pa only have one child? Why don’t I have
any siblings?”

Elsa cleared her throat and busied
herself in the kitchen, ignoring the questions. “You’ll have a much
better chance of marrying someone with money if you look nice. Your
pa and I want to be taken care of in our old age, and that ain’t
gonna happen if you marry some poor farmhand.”

So there it was—the motive.
Just like Jeremiah, Elsa could do nothing unless she thought it
would somehow benefit her. Sophia knew she should be more upset
than she was, but she just couldn’t be. It was Christmas and for
the first time in a very long time she had a
new
dress. She couldn’t wait for Nick
to see her in it when he returned.

December made its way into January and
then February and the cold windy weather continued, along with a
lot of rain and snow. Living on the coast, the snow never stayed on
the ground for very long, but that year it lingered. Everything was
so wet and muddy that Sophia dreaded doing the chores every day.
She considered it a good day if she only slipped and fell in the
mud once while retrieving water from the well or feeding the horses
in the barn.

One day in mid-February she was having
a particularly difficult time carrying the water back to the house.
It had rained most of the night and the trail she had worn from
countless trips back and forth had completely washed away. She had
already fallen twice and was so filthy that she knew she would have
to change as soon as she got back to the house. Frustrated, she
wiped at tears that threatened to spill out and left mud smears
across her face wherever her hand touched.

Much to her horror, she wasn’t the
only one on the trail that morning.

“
Well hello, miss. Would you
like some help with that load you’re trying to carry?” the newcomer
said with a hint of laughter in his voice.

Sophia’s head jerked up and her heart
leaped as she saw that the boy she had been waiting for all winter
had returned.

“
Nick,” she
cried.

It was all she could do to keep from
tossing the buckets to the ground and throwing her arms around him.
She didn’t want to appear desperate, after all. She lowered the
yoke to the ground and he bent to pick it up. On his shoulders, the
water seemed nothing more than a few drops. He easily carried it
without slipping in the mud even once. Sophia was shocked at the
difference a few months had made. Nick’s arms were muscled and his
shirt fit snugly across firm shoulders. She was convinced he’d
grown taller, too.

“
It looks like you’ve been
swimming in the mud out here, Miss Sophia.”

She quickly tried to brush the streaks
of mud and dirt from her face, but her efforts only made matters
worse. Nick threw his head back and laughed.

Trying to change the subject, Sophia
said, “Did you just get back?”

“
Yes, ma’am. We left
the
Mist Seeker
docked in the shipyard north of here with Gus and Paul to
watch her. Your father and I hired a wagon to bring us down here
this morning and we just got in. You weren’t in the kitchen with
your mother and I reckon I knew exactly where you would
be.”

“
The last telegram Father
sent said that he didn’t know when you would be back for sure, but
that it might be spring before you were here. It’s really good to
see you.” She was so happy she wanted to twirl around like a little
girl.

“
We ended up not being able
to take the cargo we had hoped to run down into the Gulf of Mexico,
but I’m fine with that.” He smiled down at her.

She smiled back and they continued in
happy silence until they reached the back door to her parent’s
home. As they entered the kitchen, they could hear Sophia’s parents
talking in hushed tones. The pair had papers spread across the
kitchen table and upon seeing Sophia and Nick, they quickly swept
them up and her father tucked them into a pouch at his
side.

“
Sophia, my dear, how I’ve
missed you.” He gave her an awkward hug.

Sophia wondered why he felt the need
to continue putting on a show for Nick. In all of her memory she
could not remember him ever having hugged her before, but for some
reason he felt the need to prove to Nick that they were a normal,
happy family.

“
Father, it’s nice to see
you. I hope your journey was a good one.”

“
It was just as a journey
should be. In the time we were gone we were able to run three loads
of lumber down the coast and we have a contract for another load of
cargo that we will take two weeks from now.”

Sophia’s heart fell. She’d known that
Nick would have to leave again, but two weeks was such a short time
for them to stay.

“
How long will you be gone
this time, Father?”

“
I’m not sure, but this
could be the beginning of a regular run for us. Maybe I’ll have to
start bringing your mother along with me so she doesn’t get
lonely.” He winked at his wife.

“
What kind of cargo will you
be ferrying, Father?”

Jeremiah looked at Elsa who quickly
pretended she wasn’t listening to the conversation. “We will be
taking goods down to Florida. They’re building rail lines so fast
in that state they can hardly keep in supplies.”

The next week and a half flew by and
Sophia found herself stuck in a horrible mood. She wanted to be
happy during the little time Nick was around, but the thought of
him leaving again made her sick. She didn’t know how women, like
her mother, could bear to be married to seamen who were regularly
leaving. The pain of constant goodbyes must be devastating. Besides
that, since they’d been back, something seemed to be bothering Nick
and he didn’t talk as much as he used to.

A few mornings before
the
Mist Seeker
was due to sail again, Sophia found herself alone in the barn
with Nick who was visiting his horse, Mabel.

“
Did you think about me at
all when you were gone?” she boldly asked.

Nick sighed. “Only every day. You were
right, I didn’t get seasick and I did enjoy being on the water, but
I couldn’t stand not seeing you every morning and evening like I
did all last summer.”