Shades of the Past (23 page)

The ballroom seemed deserted, with the fading rays of a dying sunset lying in bars across the gleaming floor, and the droplets of the unlit chandeliers shone like rubies as they moved in a draft. Then she saw Blair looking out of one of the windows. He’d discarded his coat, and his frilled white shirt was bright in the crimson light. Tight gray breeches clung to his hips and thighs, and there was a full neckcloth at his throat. He didn’t yet know she was there, but when he did, she knew he’d be bitterly angry. She was supposed to be dressed for traveling, and a carriage was waiting right now to convey her from Deveril House forever, but instead she’d come to try to speak to him one last time. And she came with seduction in mind.

Chapter Nineteen

Blair heard Laura’s step, and turned. His eyes were bleak, his voice even bleaker. “Leave me,” he breathed, not noticing that she wasn’t dressed to travel.

She managed to stand her ground. She’d already tried to make him listen to what she had to say, but he’d refused. She had to try one last time. She
had
to! He’d guessed Miles was behind her presence at Deveril House, and now could hardly bear to even look at her, but she knew how susceptible he was to everything about her. The time had come to use all her wiles.

“Please hear me out,” she begged.

“You’re here under false colors, Mrs. Reynolds, and now I wish to be rid of you.”

“The false colors were not of my seeking.”

“Are you suggesting they were mine?”

A draft stole through the ballroom, jostling the chandeliers and swinging the doors to behind her. She halted a few steps from him. “No, they were Sir Miles Lowestoft’s doing.”

“You didn’t seem to be acting under duress.”

“But I was, I swear!”

“Indeed? Forgive me if I find that impossible to believe. You came here pretending to be a respectable widow who was suitable as Marianna’s chaperone, but you’re really Lowestoft’s
belle de nuit.
And I’d guess your resemblance to Celina is his prime concern, for when he lies with you, he lies with her! Oh, don’t pretend it
'
s news to you, for if you’re Lowestoft’s paramour, you know all about it!”

“I don’t know anything, and I’m not his paramour.”

“Butter wouldn’t melt in your mouth, would it? No wonder he took you up, and no wonder his wretched wife is here in Gloucestershire. I’ll warrant she’s following him, just to torture herself still more with a resurrected Celina!” He held her eyes. “Just tell me one thing, is Stephen party to this miserable charade?”

The question caught her off-guard, and her split second of hesitation told him what he wished to know. “So he is!”

“Blair, neither of us was willing, we had to be forced! Miles threatened to call all Stephen’s IOUs in at once, which would have meant jail, and in his state of health—

“Oh, poor Stephen, so deep in debt and unwell he had to do something he didn’t want to? I think not. Well, I may have decided not to call him out before, but I can’t stand by now that he’s not only seduced Marianna, but been party to Lowestoft’s schemes as well. And once I’ve faced him, I’ll face Lowestoft himself!”

“Blair—”

“Be warned, madam, if you were a man, I’d call you out too for what you’ve done.”

“Your hatred is punishment enough,” she whispered.

“If only it were, but I fear you’re made of far sterner stuff than you’d have me believe. You’ve offered nothing in your defense, except to insist you were forced, and unless you’re gone from this house within five minutes, I’ll have you forcibly removed. Do I make myself clear?”

He walked toward the doors, and in desperation she snatched the necklace from her reticule and tossed it after him. The fake diamonds sparkled in the dying sunlight as they slithered across the floor at his feet. Slowly he picked them up, and the stones spilled over his fingers as the real necklace had done over hers that night in the library. “Is
this
why you’re here? To steal my property as well as my heart?” he breathed incredulously, not realizing he held a fake. “I find it incredible that Lowestoft
still
clings to the mistaken belief that my father cheated his.”

“The necklace in your hand is a paste forgery I was supposed to substitute for the real one,” she said quietly.

The sunset was fading and oblique as he searched her face for a moment, and then studied the necklace more closely. “Yes, I can see now that it’s a copy, although I fail to see how you can submit it in your defense. Surely it merely serves to prove your guilt still more?”

She took out the letter Miles had given to her in the woods. “This is how I was forced,” she said, holding it out to him. “I was not only supposed to come here and exchange the necklaces, but to break your heart as well by being Celina all over again. Only it didn’t quite work out like that, because although I may have won your heart, I also lost mine. Read it, Blair, and maybe you’ll understand why I had to do what he demanded.”

He unfolded the letter, and the fake diamonds continued to shimmer over his fingers as he read. “And this is supposed to convince me?” he said when he’d finished.

Dismay swept through her. “Yes! Yes, of course!”

“But
anyone
could have written this missive, even you.”

“I didn’t.”

“So you say.”

“It’s the truth!” she cried.

“Truth is something with which you have little acquaintance.” He tossed the necklace and letter back to her.

She made no move to catch them and they fell at her feet. “If I’d really come here as Miles’ eager accomplice, I’d have done all I possibly could to hurt you.”

“Well, didn’t you?” He gave a cold laugh.

“No! Blair, if that was my motive, I wouldn’t have said anything about the possibility of two falls in the tunnel, and Marianna and Stephen would have remained trapped.”

“Maybe even your conscience balked at that!”

“Is that what you really think of me?”

“Why not? What have you done to warrant more?”

“I’ve shown you how much I love you.”

He faced her squarely. “So you love me, do you?”

“Yes.”

“And if Sivintree hadn’t exposed you, you’d have confessed all anyway?”

“I—I don’t know whether or not I’d have told you, but I do know I’d decided not to do Miles’ work any longer. I could have stolen the necklace in the library the other night, but I didn’t. I’ve told him Stephen and I couldn’t find it anywhere, and that you weren’t interested in me.”

“How smoothly you lie, but then you are an actress,” he murmured.

It was too much, and the reticule slipped from her fingers as she sank to her knees before him. “‘Please believe in me again, Blair,” she implored, her voice breaking with emotion. “I meant every kiss and caress we’ve shared, and I’d give myself to you here and now if it would prove—

He reached down to seize her chin in viselike fingers. “All it would prove is that you’re an accomplished whore!” he breathed.

“No!”

“A whore to the very tips of your skillful fingers,” he said, releasing her contemptuously.

“If I’ve failed you, please forgive me,” she whispered, reaching up tentatively to touch him.

“You’ve failed me in every way,” he replied, but he didn’t pull away from her.

She knelt up to put her trembling arms around his thighs and press her face against the costly stuff of his breeches. “Forgive me, forgive me, I beg of you. Let me love you again...”

“Have you any notion how meaningless it would be if I took you now, Laura? I could use you and then fling you aside without a second’s guilt. I owe you nothing,
nothing
, least of all forgiveness.”

She raised her face to look up at him. “Then use me,” she invited. “Take me here on this floor, and then discard me. Do it, Blair, treat me with all the cruelty and contempt you think I deserve.”

“Don’t provoke me, Laura,” he warned.

“Why? Because you’re afraid I may mean something to you after all? Is that it, Blair? You fear to be in my arms because you can’t hate me?”

“Oh, I can hate you,” he breathed, reaching down to push her away, but the knot in her hair undid, and her warm chestnut curls spilled down over his fingers. He seemed unable to draw away, as if the soft tresses cast a spell over him.

She slid her hands luxuriously up the back of his thighs toward his buttocks. “Go away from me now if you despise me so much,” she said softly as she looked up into his eyes.

The sunset had almost dissolved into night, but there was still enough light for him to see how her tear-filled gaze, intense in its deep emotion, entreated, implored and supplicated him to stay. She was a wounded creature, desperate to be saved by him. “Damn you, Laura,” he whispered.

“Oh, I’m damned indeed, Blair, damned to love you until eternity.” A tear wended its way down her cheek, and then, hesitantly but with infinite love, her questing fingers moved to the front of his breeches, and at last he overcame the spell to put his hand firmly over hers. “No.”

“Let me love you, Blair,” she whispered enticingly. “Let me. Please—”

“I don’t want this, Laura.”

“I don’t believe you,” she breathed, and slowly his fingers relaxed over hers. It was consent, unspoken but as clear as any words. Her pulse quickened as a breathlessly erotic excitement filled her. She was unable to resist the exquisite sexual temptation that enriched her very blood as she undid the first button. And then the next.

Her fingers stole gently into the forest of dark hair at his groin, for he wore nothing beneath his breeches, and her body quivered with anticipation as she saw he couldn’t deny his own arousal. There was nothing halfhearted about his erection, it was strong and imperative, springing eagerly into her hand.

She breathed out with slow delight as her fingers encased him. The images from the mirror trembled in the air before her, luring her toward the sort of intimacy she’d never wanted with Kyle. A different kind of desire ached through her, a voluptuous desire that made her raise her mouth longingly to take him in her lips.

She heard him gasp, and felt his fingers curl richly in her hair. She was lost in a pleasure so exquisite she felt weak. She took him deep into her mouth, exploring him with her tongue, and savoring sensations that were bewildering in their intensity. It was a craving, a torment of desire that made her whole body feel as if it were on fire. Her lips were relentless, and her abandon complete.

He drew back, his eyes dark as he looked at her, then he pulled her to her feet and led her to a window embrasure, where the very last of the light fell fully upon her flushed face as he pressed her back against the unclosed shutter. He undid the bodice of her gown, and put his lips to her breasts, making her cry out with sheer joy, and then he raised her gown to put his hand between her thighs. He stroked and aroused her, sliding his fingers knowingly.

When she was almost weeping with pleasure, he lifted her gently from her feet to gain entry with a shaft that was now raging with excitement. A sob escaped her as she felt him push deep inside her, and she wrapped her legs needfully around him as he began to thrust.

She knew no shame or pride, just complete enslavement, heart, body, and soul, and as the final moment could no longer be denied, she knew he was hers again. She could taste it in his lips, and feel it as his body shuddered against hers. She clung to him, her arms entwined around his neck, and her lips seared to his in a kiss that seemed without end, but gradually and gently he lowered her to her feet again.

She looked anxiously up into his eyes. “You do know that I love you, don’t you?”

He bent his lips to hers again, brushing them gently. “Yes, I know.” He straightened his clothes and then gently did the same with her bodice.

“Tell me you still love me too,” she begged, for he hadn’t reassured her, and she needed it so. “I have never, ever been intimate with Miles Lowestoft.”

The very mention of that name was anathema to him. “Laura, Miles Lowestoft is—” He couldn’t finish.

“I swear to you that I haven’t done anything he wishes me to do, save becoming Marianna’s chaperone. That is
all
. And I’ve had the chance to exchange the necklaces. I just cannot do anything to hurt you or Marianna. Or Stephen, whom I have come to like very much. He may be many things, Blair, but his love for your sister is strong and true, and there is
nothing
he would not do for her.”

He put his hands to her cheek, stroking her warm skin with his thumb. “You shame me for my doubts, Laura.”

She caught his fingers and held them to her cheek. “You’

re
bound
to doubt me, Blair. If I were you,
I’d
doubt me! I’m a nonentity of an actress, forced to come here specifically to hurt you most cruelly, but I find myself a woman who loves you as life itself. That was something Miles—nor I could have foreseen. You know the truth now, and if you still want me to leave, then I will go.”

“Leave? After we’ve just made such passionate love together? I’d be a monster if I insisted on such a thing. Laura, I may have spoken in anger, and tried to hurt you with my words, but I still love you. I don’t want you to go.” He pulled her close again and put his lips tenderly to hers in a slow, almost lazy kiss that conveyed forgiveness. Try as he would, he couldn’t deny her, or his feelings for her.

She clung to him, wishing she dared cleanse her heart completely by telling him she came from a different time as well, but knew it would be best to remain Regency Laura, the actress whose family resided in Norwich. Confessing about time travel might ease her burden, but what effect might it have upon someone with the set perspectives of this nineteenth century. Even with the outlook of the twenty-first century, she’d found time travel hard enough to accept; he’d surely find it impossible. And besides, she didn’t want to risk spoiling what little time they might have left together, for it was still horribly possible that he was to die when all the servants were at the fair.

The thought was like an icy douche, and she circled her arms more tightly around him, hiding her face against his shoulder.