Shades of Avalon (34 page)

Carmel, looking glamorous in full makeup, dress pants, and blouse, pushed off the arm of the couch nervously. “We couldn’t stay away this time.”

Lewis stood by the hearth with Archú at his feet, every inch the lord of the manor with his proud shoulders rolled back and his hand resting on the mantle. Carmel had even wrestled him into a shirt and sports jacket. His brow crinkled as he scrutinized me for my reaction to their arrival. Archú whined in apprehension—Lewis probably had no idea a dragon occupied the space beside him by the fire.

I rushed forward without thinking about the consequences of their presence and swept Carmel up in a hug. Lewis quickly joined when he realized I wasn’t angry. Archú barked, walked in a tight circle and settled into a seated position, his tongue lolling out.

“Son,” Lewis choked out, patting my back.

Their arrival was far from ideal, and we’d already decided against them joining us here. The rational argument didn’t seem to make much of a difference at the moment. I was just happy to see them.

“How? When?” I stuttered, a bag of all the emotions I didn’t realize I’d been holding back spilled opened. I drew away. “Does Triona know you’re here?”

Lewis affectionately swiped a tear from Carmel’s cheek with his thumb. “Not yet. We weren’t confident how you’d take our arrival. That’s why we didn’t want to warn you.”

I shot a harmless accusing glance to Samuel. “You knew?”

Samuel held up his hand in defense. “We’ve been keeping in touch, but I had no idea until they called me from Edinburgh.”

Amanda smiled at us from the doorway. She crossed her arms, waiting for my reaction.

“There is something we should tell you, Ben,” Carmel started tentatively, slipping out of my arms and into Lewis’s supportive shadow. She inhaled and released a slow breath. “This isn’t a social visit—”

I opened my mouth to butt in when I grasped the reason for their arrival, but Lewis’s thick eyebrows dropped sternly, warning me not to interrupt. My lips snapped shut.

“We’ve discussed it, and we are aware the risks. We can’t just stay home and do nothing.”

A familiar emotion of cold dread welled up and spread outward. My heart stuttered. I wasn’t prepared to risk Lewis and Carmel any more than Amanda. Clearly it showed in my expression, and Amanda’s features pinched in expectation of an onslaught.

“Ben, look at me,” Lewis instructed in a tone I was well acquainted with. From memory, it preceded a serious talking to about accountability and the repercussions of my actions. “This is not your decision to make, and whatever happens to us won’t be your fault.”

Instinct told me to argue and experience told me it would do no good whatsoever.

“Okay,” I said slowly, testing out each syllable on my lips.

“Okay?” Amanda echoed with a light chuckle. “Do my ears deceive me?”

I smiled sheepishly. “I know when I’m beat. I can’t speak for Triona though.”

“You let me handle Triona,” Carmel answered.

Amanda straightened. “Great, I’m going to go find Emma. I don’t want her alone for too long at the moment. Ben, remember to go see Arthur when you’re finished here. Archú.” She clucked her tongue, and Archú leapt to his paws.

I nodded, and Amanda blew me a kiss before leaving with the huge dragon in its dog form trotting after her.

“If you would like, I’ll accompany you outside to find Triona,” Annice offered Carmel kindly. “It will give me a chance to check on Caleb.”

“Thank you.” Carmel exchanged a meaningful gaze with Lewis. Her eyebrow arched, and he dipped his head to kiss the corner of her lips.

“If no one minds, I’d like to talk with Ben a little longer.” Lewis framed the sentence as though it was a question although I doubted anyone misconstrued his intention. He had more to say.

Taking the hint, Samuel got to his feet. “I have to catch up with Emrys anyway, so I’ll leave you to it.” He flattened his lips to a guarded smile.

I didn’t miss he used Merlin’s real name and presumed Lewis and Carmel didn’t know about the wizard yet. How much had Samuel told them? The couple of times I had called I kept specifics to a minimum. The prospect of revealing those few tidbits of information caused an unexpected smile to tug at my lips.

Once we had the room to ourselves, Lewis shrugged off his sports jacket and tossed it on one of the couches. He gestured to the other couch, and we both sat as he rolled up his sleeves over his thick forearms. Lewis leaned back and stretched his arm over the backrest, not entirely comfortable out of his usual work clothes. His expression remained guarded, not indicating what direction our conversation would take. My mouth went dry, back straightened, and I dragged my hand through my hair.

“There is an awful lot sitting on your shoulders right now, Ben. I was kinda wondering if there was anything you needed to unload.” Lewis had developed quite a few strands of silver around his temples and fine lines at the corners of his blue eyes over the last couple of years. A shard of guilt permanently resided in a corner of my heart because Triona and I were the cause of it.

Words lodged in the back of my throat, and out of the blue I was sixteen years old again, sitting in front of one of the parental units. I twisted the brushed platinum band on my wedding finger even though most of the time I barely registered it was there.

“Things okay with you and Amanda?” he prompted, except I got the distinct impression he already knew the answer.

A dark chuckle escaped, and Lewis narrowed his eyes, drilling me with his knowing gaze.

“It hasn’t been what I expected. I seem to keep messing up.” It felt good to admit the truth aloud.

Lewis shook his head, and his chest expanded with a deep breath, straining the buttons of his shirt. “What did you expect?”

I deflected my gaze for a fraction of a second and heat rushed over my cheeks. “Well, I…”

“That’s rhetorical, Ben,” he teased, scratching the side of his forehead. “I presumed you expected
that
—I was nineteen once upon a time too.” A note of pain radiated through his eyes. “Do you think I don’t know anything about what you’re dealing with?”

I wasn’t sure how he could, but out of respect I bit my tongue again. Lewis took it as a negative response and continued with a heavy sigh.

“Relationships are hard enough without all this extra baggage. Your father was my big brother, so I learned something regarding being the younger sibling and taking up the slack.” He took another breath. “I also understand about the guilt of letting someone you love take on all of this.” He waved his hand around. “I didn’t learn about your mother and you kids by osmosis. Your dad didn’t learn of Guardians by osmosis. You kids think your parents met and that was it for them, but that wasn’t how it happened. Your mom fought her feelings for months.”

This surprised me. As he said, I had always thought of the beginning of my parents’ relationship as a fairy tale. I shifted in my seat, and the edges of Lewis’s mouth quirked up. He knew he had my full attention.

“In the end she had to tell him the truth about who and what she was. In time, your dad had to let me in on their secret too. I wasn’t the first human to hold those secrets or to learn those secrets came with dangers. You see, being human and looking into your world is a bit like staring directly into the sun. You know you should avert your eyes, but it’s already too late. After, there’s a shadow dancing across your vision, obscuring everything else. Then I met Carmel, and I had to make that choice. Should I ask her to stare into the sun too? It was the hardest decision I ever had to make in my life. Absolutely nothing before or since has compared.”

“It wasn’t like that for me,” I said. “Telling Amanda the truth came easy.”

Lewis snorted a deep laugh that vibrated through the couch right into my bones. “Well, that’s because you were still looking directly into the sun. I don’t think you looked away until you got here. Truth is, I should have talked to you about this sooner. I’m sorry for that.”

I mashed my lips together. I had been blinded by the idea of being this magical, supernatural creature when I told Amanda. However, I honestly couldn’t say I would have made a different decision if I had seen the dangers clearly. From the moment we met, I couldn’t imagine my life without her.

“You’ve nothing to be sorry for. You’ve always done your best for us. I don’t want to hold her back,” I admitted solemnly. “I see the life she could have had, and I feel sick. Then I see her wanting to be in this one with me, and I still feel sick. What do I do? I can’t give her up, and I can’t keep doing this to both of us.”

“Ben, it’s too late to go back, and you’ll drive yourself crazy with what-ifs. What’s done is done. Look at what happened to your sister when Caleb tried to wipe what he is from her mind. It almost destroyed her anyway. Look at what happened to John. You can’t un-see the sun.”

“So what do I do?” I asked.

He shrugged. “If you fight it, you’re fighting a losing game. Amanda is your wife, your family. Her place is right beside you.”

I leaned forward and dropped my head into my hands, groaning.

Lewis slapped me on the back twice. “Welcome to marriage, Ben.”

After my pep talk, I caught Lewis up on everything that had happened since we’d arrived in England—everything Samuel hadn’t filled him in on already. Lewis insisted on accompanying me to my training session with Arthur. Of all the surreal things going on, the most fantastic had to be the idea of learning how to use a sword under the instruction of King Arthur. Lewis attempted and failed miserably to conceal his excitement. I was sure he expected to find Arthur dressed in full armor and ready for battle.

This time I knew which doorway led to the training room downstairs. Guilt weighed me down as I pushed the door in, thinking the last time I was here had been with John. It served no purpose at this point, so instead of forcing it from my mind, I put it to work as another incentive to defeat Zeal.

I peeked back at Lewis, shifting eagerly, and chuckled to myself. His eyes were fixed open like a kid creeping downstairs to spot Santa Claus under the tree on Christmas morning.

“You okay?” I asked in a whisper.

He pursed his lips and gave me a dismissive nod. However, his pulse was speeding. I never took Lewis as the type to be star struck.

Arthur, wearing loose gray sweats, stood with his back to us over by the sword rack. He didn’t appear to hear us entering. The air in the room had a warm, musty undertone…salt and sweat. The patches of darkened fabric along Arthur’s back indicated he hadn’t waited for us to begin.

“Arthur,” I called, leading Lewis farther across the rubber floor.

Arthur spun around with the grace and balance of a ballet dancer, giving me my first hint of his agility in battle. I’d pegged him as a warrior type, all blood and guts and brute force. A tingle of enthusiasm seized my insides.

He grinned, wide and friendly, tugging ear buds from his ears. Attached to the yellow strings was a chrome MP3 player, although no music escaped. Arthur’s face was shiny with sweat, and his blond hair darkened around his forehead. A hint of color flushed his handsome face, and he shrugged. “Such an astonishing invention—I never dreamt of such things. I’m afraid the choice remains overwhelming.”

“Arthur, this is my Uncle Lewis. He and my aunt have just arrived from America.”

Arthur rushed the few paces to Lewis and held his hand outstretched, but instead of shaking Lewis’s hand, he grabbed his wrist. Without missing a beat, Lewis did the same to Arthur’s.

“It’s truly an honor to make your acquaintance, highness,” Lewis said in an overly formal voice I’d never heard from him. He dropped Arthur’s arm, and I raised an eyebrow.

“I beg your pardon—it is unadorned Arthur Pendragon now, and the honor is mine. Guinevere has spoken of America. I very much hope to travel there.” Arthur’s excitement rivaled Lewis’s. “I very much hope to travel many places.”

“You’ll need a new name,” I commented offhand as I moved closer to the sword rack. My palm itched to lift one of the gleaming metallic weapons.

Arthur smirked. “I have been informed the legend has eclipsed the man.” His attention darted to my hands wavering over a small stash of protein bars. He had discarded several empty wrappers in a wastebasket beside them. “Another invention.” Arthur picked up a bar and tossed it into my hand, and then offered one to Lewis, who declined with a shake of his head.