Shades of Atlantis (48 page)

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Authors: Carol Oates

BOOK: Shades of Atlantis
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Zeal and I were inside an invisible bubble, a hole in time. Outside, everything and everyone was frozen. Caleb and the Guardian members of our family encircled us but made no movement; they were absolutely still.

Annice’s and Eila’s hair flowed behind their heads fixed in place by the breeze their speed created. Caleb’s face was trapped in a contorted expression of agony. Joshua’s mouth was open as if to speak, his lips locked in position, and Samuel appeared to be flying through the air at us. The people arriving from every direction were mannequins stippled on the horizon. Overhead, birds halted in midair, and behind me I could feel that Ben, like everyone else, was utterly still.

Inside the invisible bubble, the only sounds were our heartbeats and the shallow breathing coming from Zeal. I couldn’t breathe. The light from the sword flashed in his mystified pale charcoal eyes. It was the first time I had seen a Guardian whose eyes didn’t resemble jewels or precious metal.

Zeal’s eyes were the color of cold iron. The sneer vanished from his lips, and he tried to force the sword forward through some unseen barrier between us. His expression became horrified, his eyes widened, and the arrogance slipped away. But his efforts didn’t cease; he thrust forward again uselessly.

Cautiously, not sure what I was doing, my hands raised to the luminous blade. I brought them together near the end of the static cold tip, pressing my fingers and the heel of my palms together. Zeal watched aghast as the sword began to change, extending from where my skin made contact with the blade. The white light became orange, seeping outward and down toward the hilt; the color deepened and glowed red. His heart jumped and thundered loudly. He was terrified of me and unable to release his grip.

Black cracks appeared along the now poker-hot blade until finally Zeal crashed backward, the blade exploding into fiery dust and floating down as ashes all around us, like black snow landing and then melting into the wet grass. The bubble burst.

The world came to life again, and Annice and Eila ran to me, wrapping their arms around me. I stood with them, motionless, allowing them to cling to me for a few moments. Annice seemed to be checking for injuries where my clothes were bloodstained. It hadn’t occurred to me until now that maybe Ben and I wouldn’t be as resistant to injury and as quickly healed because our father was, after all, human.

I’m fine, I assured her, gently pushing her hands away.

Caleb was a few feet away watching Zeal pathetically stumble around trying to regain his equilibrium. Caleb’s face was livid with rage and his shoulders were rigid, his fists clenching and unclenching. His eyes repeatedly darted from Zeal to me and then to Ben and Amanda, torn between finishing him off and wanting to comfort me. I looked down to my distraught brother crying on his knees; his body shook as he rocked Amanda’s lifeless body and whispered into her ear.

The crowd gathered nearer there were over a hundred now, all Guardians. Caleb made to move for Zeal as soon as he got to his feet.

Caleb, I called out firmly.

Caleb’s eyes came back to me and then flashed to Samuel and Joshua near me, seeking their reinforcement.

He’s finished, Caleb. He’s over, I told him coolly. I stared into Zeal’s cowardly, defeated eyes and finished, keeping my tone quiet and commanding. Let him go. We won’t give him the gift of ending his pitiful existence. Zeal bowed to me with phony graciousness.

Not unless he begs us to, I added with venom in my voice.

Zeal was too much of a coward to beg for his life to be ended. He turned and ran with a shock of blond hair streaking out behind him. He blurred and was gone.

Caleb let out a deep sigh and approached me, his expression relieved of some of the fury. He edged Annice and Eila aside and slipped his arm around my shoulder before we knelt onto the grass beside Ben. The pain of Ben’s heartbreak filled the air around us. We sat there an age as more and more people gathered around us, watching us as the sun rose higher.

It was still early in the morning, but this was already the longest day of my life. Hot tears streamed continually over my flushed cheeks, and the pain in my heart threatened to consume me. All I wanted to do was curl up in Caleb’s arms and hide from the wrenching, aching feeling in my chest.

Instead I just sat there and let the tears quietly flow, rubbing my hand over Ben’s back and wishing I could take his pain too.

He was still whispering to her, although now I could make out some of it. He was begging her not to leave, saying I love you over and over. I had to stop myself from listening anymore; it was making my own anguish almost unbearable. Caleb sat close to me, one arm holding my forearm, the other at my back. When he kissed my hair and sighed miserably, I looked up to his sad eyes. I could see the guilt and relief in them, and I couldn’t blame him for it. I knew he was relieved it wasn’t me lying there lifeless and equally guilty about feeling that way.

Samuel and Annice stood over us. Annice, unable to look, kept her face turned to Samuel’s shoulder, and he held her tightly in his arms. Joshua and Eila stood close too, holding hands so tightly their golden skin was white. John came down from the mound; his face was bloodstained, and fresh bruises were already forming where there had previously been purple smudges from lack of sleep. He stood a few feet away from the others. The large group of Guardians whispered and murmured among themselves, no doubt at the sight of the Guardians, half-humans, and a human grieving the loss of the young human lying bloodied on the grass.

What are they doing here? I sobbed quietly to Caleb. Why don’t they go away?

He kissed my hair again and spoke in a hushed voice that was, as always, beautiful, so beautiful it added to the amalgam of emotions I was feeling; I couldn’t help but be relieved that he was safe too. They heard the Stone, he explained softly. They’re here to see you. I looked around me. They appeared like any group of people, all different colorings and different heights, women and men of all ages. All with shimmering eyes and silky golden skin. Some children stood among them too, ranging from toddlers to teenagers, and they looked completely human, no different from the children I had gone to school with.

You’re the first since Dagda — Caleb didn’t finish the sentence.

I looked at him. His eyes were suddenly wide and enthused. He got to his feet abruptly, not explaining his sudden excitement, and went to Samuel and Annice. Joshua and Eila moved closer to them too. A fresh wave of tears erupted from me when Ben’s head lifted slightly and I saw Amanda’s face. Her head lay across his knees. She looked so peaceful, like she was merely asleep. Ben wasn’t crying anymore, only silently rocking his body back and forth.

Ben, I murmured, pulling myself closer to him so I could rest my head on his shoulder. I’m sorry.

I picked up Amanda’s hand and held it. It felt different, not real. But none of this seemed real. Ben didn’t reply. He lifted his hand, placing it on top of mine, and squeezed gently. The silliest thought crossed my mind just then, that I would never again scold Amanda for her lack of discretion about all the secrets she conveyed to Ben and all the gossip she told me.

I couldn’t prevent the distressing sob that escaped my lips and my body heaved painfully. Where was destiny in this?

Caleb fell to his knees on the ground beside me and put his head close to mine. Triona, Dagda had other gifts — His voice was low and urgent, and he sounded almost optimistic. He could revive the dead. My eyes flashed to him, and my heartbeat jumped with panic. Ben lifted his head too; his cheeks were red and raw from tears, and his sparkling green eyes were horribly bloodshot and swollen.

What? I spluttered. I heard Ben’s heartbeat quicken beside me. This wasn’t fair. I knew Caleb wouldn’t want to intentionally raise Ben’s hopes, but I couldn’t raise the dead. That was just crazy. Why would he say that in front of him?

The things you’ve done already, Caleb insisted, the strength, the power over metal, the colors you see and the way you can read people all that comes from the Goddess Brigid. They’re all gifts passed through the blood line from Dagda. It’s worth trying, isn’t it? I stared into his sapphire eyes and could see the complete confidence he had in me. His eyes narrowed, and his eyebrows came together waiting for an answer. It was impossible. Annice pulled away from Samuel, even John hesitantly moved nearer, observing our exchange with sudden hopefulness in their expressions.

Please, Triona, please just try, Ben pleaded, squeezing my hand again.

I was numb with shock at what I was being asked to do. I considered my own ache and the sick feeling I had in my stomach at never seeing my best friend smile at me again. It couldn’t be a fraction of what Ben was feeling right now or what her parents and sisters would feel. I sucked in air and held my breath for a moment, then released.

Okay, I’ll try, but if it doesn’t work —

Ben nodded and a tentative smile started at the corner of his mouth. If I couldn’t make this happen, I would probably never see him smile again.

My breathing was suddenly coming very fast.

What do I do? I asked Caleb nervously.

His perplexed eyes shot to his family, and I heard a low murmuring from the still-growing crowd. Samuel’s head lowered and shook slowly side to side; even Eila had no answer. She gazed at me with a frown on her face, unable to offer any help.

We — we don’t know, Caleb admitted, his shoulders drooped.

 

Please, Triona, Ben murmured again with tears pricking at his eyes.

My eyes fell on Amanda’s lifeless body; the skin on her face was growing paler. What if I tried what I did with the weather? Could I will Amanda back to life? But it was different with the weather. I knew I could do it; there had been no question. I didn’t feel like that now, and everyone would see me fail.

Caleb put one arm around my shoulder and placed a finger under my chin, bringing my eyes up to meet his. They were soft and loving, reassuring. His sweet breath on my face made my heart pound harder.

This isn’t right, Triona. After everything, this can’t be how it ends. He really believed that.

I shifted on my knees, readjusting my position on the grass, and leaned into Amanda slightly, still holding her hand. I placed my other hand where her jacket was bloodstained and ripped, attempting to judge the location of her still heart. Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes. In my mind I saw the muscles of her chest knitting and healing, I saw her blood vessels mending, her skin coming together again. I saw her heart jumping and starting to beat again, I imagined hearing the first low, blood-filled thud. I imagined the air being sucked into her lungs, filling and expanding them.

I imagined her body jerking, her fingers moving, and then her eyes blinking open. I exhaled slowly, keeping the picture in my mind’s eye and then cautiously opened my eyes. Amanda still lay there, growing colder by the minute. It didn’t work.

I’m sorry — She’s gone. I allowed my head to fall forward and lifted Amanda’s hand to my face. It felt cool against my hot skin.

Try again, Ben begged, putting his hand on my shoulder. The desperation in his voice cut me to the bone. I couldn’t lift my eyes; I didn’t want to see his disappointment or anyone else’s.

I don’t understand, Caleb murmured to himself.

Try one more time, Ben persisted.

I felt cold, even with the sun out. We were sitting on wet grass, and my clothes were soaked through. I didn’t want to be here. I didn’t want Ben to look at me, beseeching me to do something I wasn’t capable of doing.

Maybe it’s the Stone. Maybe we need to be nearer it, Caleb suggested, rubbing my arm and creating friction that warmed my skin.

No, I sighed, refusing to look up. The Stone was here. We’re already sitting over the sacred ground where the Stone belongs. I felt it when we got here. The Stone was moved from this spot. My voice broke, trembling.

Triona — Ben’s words trailed off; he seemed unable to beg any longer.

 

But if it is the Stone Caleb started, trying to convince me.

Caleb, I can’t do it, I just can’t, I broke in, cutting him off mid-sentence.

I heard Caleb’s breath catch, and his fingers tightened on my arm. I looked up. John was approaching hesitantly. He paused for a brief moment near us, his breath coming faster than normal, and then he knelt cautiously on the ground in front of me on the opposite side of Amanda. The blood on his face was drying, staining the collar of his jacket, and his nose was swelling and slightly askew.

I narrowed my eyes at him, waiting. His posture was perfectly straight, his hands were at his knees, and he sat there for an incredibly long minute staring at Amanda. I could hear the hum of whispering from the swelled crowd around us. They were so tightly packed together, I couldn’t see past them to know if there were still more arriving. I hoped not. John smiled.

Triona. His voice was low and his tone was calming. I want to tell you something.

Not now, Caleb growled, his jaw clenched.

John’s eyes flashed to him, defiant and strong. He knew now what Caleb was, what I was, and still he faced up to him — for me.

Wait! he demanded of Caleb.

From the corner of my eye I saw Annice move to go to Caleb, but Samuel held her back with his hand solidly on her forearm. Caleb’s skin came together in deep furrows between his eyebrows, but he didn’t budge.

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