Sex, Lies & Nikolai (29 page)

The Estate isn’t so ugly
. That’s the first thought I have as I sit in the bus, watching the streets blaze by.

Really, it’s not that bad. I mean, it’s pretty bad in some areas – areas like mine – but there are nice places too. Places like Nikolai’s, where people actually smile at you without wanting to stab you for your wallet.

I think I’ve had this grass is always greener mentality because I never tried to work with what I have. I’ve always tried to just shove it away in a box and imagine a place where nothing’s so bad and the problems aren’t present. But now…now I feel a change in me.

A place is just a place at the end of the day. People are probably the same everywhere. What makes it different are the people you surround yourself with. It’s cliché. It’s been said a million times, but that’s because it’s true.

I’ve been closed up, alone, with the attitude that only I can pull myself out of a problem. I put all this pressure on myself. I didn’t let anyone in. I convinced myself I didn’t have time, and all that ended up happening was I grew lonelier and more hopeless.

It’s
me
. I’ve been the problem all along. By being bitter, by being tough, by always acting like I had something to prove and nobody could get to me.

I need to fix my attitude. Instead of something being too hard, I have to tackle it on
because
it’s hard. I need to find ways to put myself through school. To experience things, to find out what I love. To live life for me and not find excuses to avoid spending the money I’ve built so far.

Fear is holding me back, and I must confront that fear, venture into the unknown, and conquer it.

I smile, nodding to myself just then. I’m psyching myself up on a bus ride home. I regret not divulging my thoughts with Nikolai. I should have swallowed my pride – again an issue – and just let him drop me off. It’s not so bad, though. I’m enjoying this quiet time to reflect.

I’m in high spirits when I get to the apartment and ride the elevator up. The stench of piss lingers, and I look questionably down at the elevator floor, choosing not to question why it’s sticky the way it is. Because it doesn’t matter. It…

I make a gross face. Fuck, that’s disgusting.

The elevator doors slide open and I hurry out, rubbing the bottom of my sandals against the carpeted floor. Then I head to Roberta’s unit, already fishing my key out. I hope Scarlett’s not asleep –

A hand wraps around my mouth, shoving me back suddenly into a large, hard body. My heart spikes, and I struggle against iron grip. My hands are up, and I scratch at the arm, trying to scream against the man that’s painfully forcing my mouth shut.

“Stop,” he hisses.

All at once I freeze, but my heart’s battering with fear. I recognize that voice, and I force my body to relax, though every inch of me is on high alert.

“Now you listen to me,” Grant growls in my ear, “if you so much as scream the second I let this hand go, I’m going to bust into that decrepit old lady’s place and I’m going to fucking take care of Scarlett. You understand?”

I nod, my vision going blurry from tears. I’m terrified, though. My entire body may just collapse. I’m so close to Roberta’s door, and all I’m envisioning is Scarlett lifeless on the floor. How do I know he hasn’t hurt her already?

“You’re going to open your door, alright?”

I nod again, and he painfully steers me to my door. His hand is still locked around my mouth, bruising my lips. I shakily push the key into the door and turn it. Then I twist the knob and the door opens. He pushes me through straight away, the blade in his other hand suddenly visible.

I feel nauseous. I want to vomit. My knees buckle as he forces me to a stop in the middle of the unit.

“Now you’re going to take me to your stash,” he orders, his breaths quickening now. I stiffen against him, and he feels it. “Yeah, I know about your stash, precious,” he says. “How else would your fucking ma suddenly have all that cash to spend on drugs? She said you had more where it came from, and to think I kept coming around here looking for the money that bitch ripped off me.”

My heart comes crashing to my chest. I knew something was going to happen. I thought maybe she’d be back here in a few weeks, demanding more money.

But never this.

“Do it, Alina,” he tells me.

I work my legs, moving in the direction of the kitchen. His hand is still around my mouth, looser than before though. I’m tempted to bite, but I’m terrified of the blade in his other hand. I can’t think of a worse death than bleeding out from a stab wound. Shit, it’s freaking me the hell out.

I go to the counter, reaching my hand out, but he abruptly forces me still.

“Don’t you fucking dare,” he growls in my ear. I understand his hesitation immediately. The knife block is sitting on the same counter as the coffee tin, so it looks like I’m reaching for it. Which would be an utterly stupid move. If I wasn’t so scared, I’d be insulted he’d think I’m dumb enough to try it.

He turns me to the side, and then he grabs the knife block with the same hand his blade is in. He grunts as he picks it up and swings it behind us, crashing on the floor beyond my reach.

“Now where is it?” he demands.

I jerk my head to where the coffee tin is.

“Give it to me then.”

He drops his hand from my mouth, giving me a look of warning not to scream. I’m not going to. I’m not even going to fight him on this either. He’s holding all the control, and I’m a tiny, defenceless girl.

I shakily grab at the tin and open it. I rummage for the glad bag of money, and then I pull it out and hand it to him without looking. I feel shut off, my eyes following the blade in his hand. I feel too ill and pale.

He takes the bag from my hand and whistles in awe. “Fuck me, Alina, you’re fucking just one man for this kind of dough?”

I swallow hard, not responding, eyes on the blade. He’s a ticking time bomb. He might explode.

“I’ve been hearing the rumours, you know,” he continues. “That you’re with that Russian man. The one that runs that pawn shop. I didn’t believe it but…fuck, you really are his whore, aren’t you? I didn’t think you had it in you. You don’t mule, but you spread those legs wide, huh?”

I stay still, ignoring his hard laugh as he shoves the bag down his pants. I expect him to leave, but he just stands there, staring at me with his seedy eyes.

“You ignoring me ‘cause you think you’re better than me?” he questions, his voice turning edgy now. “Just ‘cause you’re fucking some man in a suit, you’re better than me?”

I don’t know why I don’t respond. My lips part, and I
try
to, but I’m in shock because I know he’ll erupt either way.

“You treat me like this because you think I’m soft on you.” He scoffs, his lips twitching now as his anger overtakes him. “This is all because I let you go, huh? I should have beaten you for what you did. That’s why you give me so much
FUCKING ATTITUDE
!”

I jump, my heart seizing in my chest at his abrupt rage.

He moves to me then, backing me to the counter, and his hand comes out, grasping my chin tightly and forcing me to look at him. He tightens the blade, and I hold my breath, trapped and frightened that all will be torn from me in a matter of seconds.

I just want him gone.

I shut my eyes, trembling as he edges even closer.

“I could have done this to you too,” he tells me, amused. “Instead of backing down, I could have took a blade like this to you and forced anything I wanted out of you. I could have slapped you around” – he lets my chin go and slaps me against the face – “just like that.”

He takes my chin again and this time I struggle, but then he presses the blade against my cheek and I go completely still, tears falling from my eyes. He cuts me there, and it feels like a sting, but I don’t move. Because if I do, I’ll just make the cut worse.

He grins. “Do you like a bit of pain, Alina? I hear that man likes a good cock. Does he shove his in your ass? Maybe I should do that. A punishment for your sick attitude.”

He leaves my chin again and his hand slides down my body. I close my eyes tightly, and it takes everything in me not to twitch.

“Closing your eyes? You like the feel of it, Alina? Maybe I’ll –”

His words are cut off suddenly, and he gasps, a ragged groan flying from his lips. I open my eyes and see him being restrained and dragged away from me. There’s a thick arm around his throat, the familiar suited body of Nikolai behind him holding him back with ease.

Grant swings his blade at him, but not before Nikolai sends a knife to his chest. Grant struggles, groaning in agony as Nikolai swiftly pulls the knife out and stabs him two more times in aimed parts of his torso. Grant spasms uncontrollably, the blood pooling through his shirt. And then he stops moving after that.

Nikolai doesn’t let go of him or the knife. He’s unperturbed, that face of his clean of feeling, as he drags Grant’s body back with one arm without breaking a sweat. He disappears from the kitchen and I just stand there, blinking rapidly, completely in shock.

There isn’t even any blood on the floor.

I shake, collapsing to my feet, staring at the entrance of the kitchen as I hear the bathroom door open, and the sound of a body hitting the floor.

Did he just kill him?

Just like that?

No, no, no. That can’t be.

But he did it. I saw it. Right before my eyes, in a matter of seconds he skilfully plunged the knife three times into Grant’s chest and dragged him away. Like he’d done it a thousand times before.

A shiver runs down my spine.

I hear footsteps and then Nikolai’s crouched down before me. He lifts a hand to me and I startle, staring at them, but they’re clean. Not a drop of blood.

“What…” I let out a breath. I feel like I’m going mad.

“Are you okay?” he asks me.

“I…” I can’t even breathe.

“Scarlett is still at Roberta’s?”

I practically lunge to get up, but Nikolai forces me back down. “Don’t, Alina. I’ll check on her.”

“I have to –”

“You’ll just frighten her, Alina, and we’re in a very precarious situation right now.”

I collapse back down, too weak to move, still shaking uncontrollably as he stands up and strides out of the unit with perfect ease. I hear him knock on the door, and I hear it open, but the rest is silence and every second that ticks by is an eternity.

When he returns, he looks perfectly normal, not a hair out of place. “She’s sleeping,” he tells me, pulling out his phone. “I told your neighbour to look after her a little while longer.”

My shoulders sag in relief.

I don’t say a word as he calls a number and says, “I need you here, at Alina’s. Right now.”

Then he hangs up and paces the apartment, inspecting the floors, and the trail he’d taken with Grant’s body. It’s like he’s in business mode, that concentrated look so perfectly intact, it’s a complete mind warp to me.

When he’s done that, he returns to me and picks me up. He settles me on the couch, and when I try to turn to look at the open bathroom door, he takes my chin and forces it away.

“I’m going to take care of this,” he tells me.

Tears fall from my eyes as I look at him. “You killed him.”

“Yes,” he answers. “I did.”

“He would have left.”

“You don’t know that.”

“He would have left.” I repeat hysterically.

“And he would have come back.” His face falls and his nostrils flare as he adds, “I’m not going to have some bully walk around this place terrorizing what’s
mine
.”

I shake my head slowly. “You don’t know what you’ve just done. He works for bad people, Nikolai. Calling the police and reporting this means they’re going to find us –”

“I’m not calling the police.”

“You just killed a man!”

“And I’ll take care of it while you ask yourself just how deserving he was to breathe the same air as you.”

He moves to leave, but I grab at his arm and tug him back to me. His forehead bumps mine, and I shut my eyes, forcing his arms to wrap around me. We stay like that, him holding me, faces pressed, eyes closed. The tears stop falling eventually, and the shakes lessen, but I’m still deeply disturbed. My mind’s stopped thinking for the sake of my sanity.

I open my eyes after a while, and he’s already looking back at me. The hard face is all gone again, and it relaxes me to see him this way.

“What are you going to do with him?” I ask him quietly.

“You asked me before what my ranking was in the Sokolov,” he responds. “I was second in command, behind my father. And these were the things I did. The things they trained me to do. So I’ll handle it the way I did before, and nobody will ever find out.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“Because I’ve gotten away with it before, rybka.”

There’s a hard knock on the door just then. Nikolai gives me a long look and pulls away from me to answer.