Sex and Your Job Search 2013: A Guide to Scoring Your Dream Job (13 page)

A lady came in to interview for an administrative assistant position wearing a washed-out T-shirt with pink flowers on it. She brought a massive purse, fanny pack, folded copies of her resume, and a 64-ounce convenience store soda.

Hunched over and clutching the giant cup with both hands, she slurped on it periodically during the interview. In between the slurping, she boldly told the HR rep how she cut in front of someone in the convenience store parking lot because she had to get her refill before the interview.

Looking back, the only thing worse she could have done is come to the interview naked. Needless to say, she was not hired.

I will admit to having watched a few episodes of
The Bachelor
and
The Bachelorette
. I saw a few episodes of
The Bachelor
because a friend’s sister was on it and
The Bachelorette
because there were girls involved:

Girl: “Hey Dom, wanna come over and watch The Bachelorette?”

Me: “Maybe, who’s going to be there?”

Girl: “Me, Allison, Katie, and MaryAnn. We’re just sitting in our PJs drinking lots of wine, waiting for the show to come on.”

Me: “Be right over.”

The premise of these shows revolves around a bachelor or bachelorette and twenty-five romantic interests who have been handpicked by the show’s creator. The twenty-five single ladies or men vary to a certain degree, but usually fit a certain “type” that will keep the interest of the bachelor or bachelorette. As the show progresses, the bachelor or bachelorette goes on dates in an effort to find “the one.” This is your objective as well, to find “the one” by going on interviews with your dream employers.

At this point in the job search, you will have discovered a type of company that really interests you and you will have started following them on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Twitter. The next step is to make contact with these employers and the people you are acquainted with there.

WILL YOU GO OUT WITH ME?
ASKING FOR AN INTERVIEW

Ideally when asking someone for a date, you’ve already had electronic, phone, or face-to-face contact with the person and you know where they spend most of their time. You decide to go ask them out. You feel confident and maybe you pick up a flower or harmonica (you’re dating a hipster in this scenario) from a shop along the way. Music is playing in your head. When you see the other person, both of you melt, and you say, “This is for you. I was wondering if you were free for lunch this week?” They accept and you anticipate fireworks.

In the job-search reality, you should follow the same outline of communication. First initiate some sort of contact by email and phone. Then ideally stop by the employer’s offices to show your interest. This is the best way to demonstrate that you like them and want them, in an employment sort of way. The trick is to establish that first connection with the employer before stopping by.

HOW TO GET NAMES AND NUMBERS

If at this point you don’t have the name of someone who works at your desired company, Google the company’s name and the position titles of the person or people you’d be working for. Why more job seekers don’t do this, I’ll never know.

Go through your contacts list again to see if you remember someone you left out. Again these are your family members, friends, classmates, teachers or professors, alumni, acquaintances in the community, business associates, past co-workers, repairman, members of a religious organization, gym acquaintances, hairdresser, club members, or anyone you decide to talk to. Add everyone you can to your LinkedIn profile and scroll through the People You May Know list.

Chat up your contacts about the organization they work for and their career journey. Then ask if they know who has the power to hire you into your dream job at your dream employer. If they don’t, ask them who may know and how to get in contact with them. Thank them for their time and send them a hand-written thank you note that day.

Also, if you have not already done so, post a question through your desired organization’s Facebook or LinkedIn page. Say, for example, you are looking for a job as a registered nurse at a children’s hospital, your question would read: “When will RN jobs be opened on the neonatal intensive care unit? I am a nurse who recently received my RN license and graduated with Honors. I love your mission and it would be an honor to be a member of your medical team.”

Easy squeezie. If I were the social media recruiter who monitored comments, I would engage this applicant just to see what they knew about our mission, let alone because of their good grades. At this time, fewer people than you think engage employers through social media.

COMPARING SIZES:
SMALL AND LARGE COMPANIES

Now, depending on the type of organization that you would like to work for, your approach may vary a little bit. Just like people, employers come in sizes small and large.

There are more small businesses in this country than large ones. According to the Small Business Administration (SBA) there were 27.5 million businesses in the U.S. in 2009. Small firms with fewer than five hundred employees represent 99.9% of the total. This is good news because:

• Smaller organizations may not have an HR department and may have only one person who can hire you.

• It will be easier to get through to and make a connection at a smaller company.

• New positions are more likely to pop up at smaller, growing companies.

• There are more “cockblockers,” er, I mean “gatekeepers” at large organizations (people who interfere with another person’s attempt to get together with someone).

• Getting the specific name of the person who can hire you at a large company can prove to be challenging.

• You will need to work harder at finding specific people at larger organizations that you may know through networking, connections, or the Internet.

LOVE NOTES:
CONTACTING EMPLOYERS
BY EMAIL AND LETTER

I remember sending a love note to a girl I liked in third grade. It was a piece of paper that said: “Do you like me? Circle: Yes. No. Maybe.” She circled “Yes” and we ended up talking during recess for a few minutes. The sparks fizzled out after that.

Writing emails and sending out letters can be very effective in establishing a connection with an employer. Unlike my love note, your message needs to be very specific and targeted to each employer. For example, with my third-grade girlfriend, I should have said something about liking her poofy bangs (it was the mid-eighties) or that I liked dodge ball as much as she did.

I say this as a reminder of the importance of establishing a connection with your contact. A connection brings confidence and allows you to relax and feel comfortable. In your email, letter, and soon-to-be-made phone call, talk about what you may have in common or what you admire about that person, whether that’s a mutual acquaintance, their educational background, or a favorite pastime you share.

Do you have to write a completely new cover letter each time? No. But the letter will need to be tailored to the type of job and the company.

In the third grade, I actually liked two girls. One was a redhead and the other a brunette. I just sent the note to the one I liked the best. It would have been awful for me to send two love notes to two girls in the same class.
This is where your job search differs
. You will need to seek out multiple organizations at the same time, regardless of their proximity.

Start this written process by contacting one to five people a day by email at your targeted companies and by applying to their online job postings. If you can, I strongly recommend emailing a portfolio (like I described in Chapter 5) instead of just a cover letter. Then mail a hard-copy portfolio or cover letter. If at all possible, you will want to drop off your portfolio in person. More on this in a bit.

A hard copy portfolio is old school in a good way and shows that you have class and an appropriate amount of confidence. In addition, by delivering a physical portfolio you have twice the chance to be noticed. Please remember to use good paper.

It is important that you keep track of who you contact in Excel or in a log, so that you can follow up at the right time with a phone call.

When I gave the note to my third-grade love interest, it had to go through the person sitting between us. I’ll never forget the kid because everyday he acted like the bully Nelson from
The Simpsons
. Except this one time. He could have easily intercepted it and said, “Haw haw, you like a girl,” and thrown it away or eaten it. This can happen to your emails or letters to your dream company, but in a different way. Sometimes people skip over emails and other times mail gets misdirected to the wrong person, who ends up trashing it. It happens, especially at big companies.

Because of this possibility, feel free to resend emails and letters every one to two months as a reminder. Also, if you know multiple people at a company, make sure to contact
each
of them. Just because one person says there are no jobs in a specific department or company does not mean that there aren’t and that your other contact won’t be more helpful. Some people just are too busy to care or they are not connected to decision makers.

Ok, I’ll say it since no one else will: some people won’t help you because they are dumbasses. Ignoramuses. Nincompoops. Clueless. Easily threatened. Whatever you want to call them. Don’t miss out by not using
all
of your contacts. Even if they know each other. There are always exceptions to circumstances.

Once you have sent out your letters, follow up with a phone call two days after sending an email and a week after sending a hard-copy letter or portfolio. Don’t wait for your dream employer to chase after you. It won’t happen. And don’t be like the millions of people who stop their job search after one attempt to contact their dream employer. Keep going. You got this. Trust me, you got this!

ONCE YOU HAVE THEIR DIGITS:
CONTACTING YOUR DREAM
EMPLOYER BY PHONE

To get a date with that hot model (your dream job’s hiring manager), you have to pick up the phone. It is more effective than asking someone out by email or letter and it’s expected. Hiring managers and HR reps understand this. Lucky for you, phone call rules that lead to success in dating virtually mirror phone call rules for job-search success. The only exception to calling is if the job posting says “No Calls.” If that is the case, focus on perfecting the other steps outlined in this book.

In both scenarios, you may be nervous. Let me be crystal clear that hiring managers and HR reps do not care if you come across as nervous. Even today, I sometimes get a little nervous when calling big wigs in my organization. Remember, HR reps
want
to hear good pitches from good applicants just like you want to have a hottie come up and talk to you. Same thing. So, for you to get through this nervy part of the job-search process, I’ve developed some phone call rules. I hope that by knowing these rules, you’ll feel more at ease.

1. Just like dating, the first rule is to wait two days to call after sending your email or making initial contact. Call too soon and your connection may not have had a chance to read your email and they will be annoyed by your immediate follow-up. Call too late and they may have forgotten anything you said in your email.

2. The second rule is to have a reason for your call. Your primary goal is to ask for an interview for the job you want and to confirm that they received your portfolio. Your secondary goal, if your dream job is currently not available, is to ask for five minutes of their time to introduce yourself in person. Like asking someone you like to do a meet and greet over drinks. And lastly, your goal should be to ask for advice on how to get into their company, including asking how your contact did so. The last question is intentionally open-ended and is a chance for your contact to talk about the thing they love most: themselves. More on that later, though.

3. The third rule is to keep the call relatively brief. Between five to ten minutes. Absolutely no more, unless they are engaging you, which is a good sign. Also, please do not complain about your situation or lament about how many calls you have already made. This does not help you get closer to your goal of getting a job offer. Focus, Daniel-san.

WHAT TO SAY

“Relax” is a song from the eighties by a band called Frankie Goes to Hollywood. Taking the instruction from the song’s title is easier said than done. One way to relax during the phone call process is by creating several bullet points of what you want to say or, if you are like me, writing out a full script. Whichever preparation method you choose, practice ahead of time so you come across as comfortable and relaxed.